DOE and UFT Agree on Apocalypse Plan

Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced that, due to the impending Mayan Apocalypse, NYC schools would have to make up whatever school days were lost due to the end of the world. UFT President Michael Mulgrew agreed, sending an email to UFT members that the days would have to be made up, even if it cut into summer vacation.

Bloggers were apoplectic. Mr. Accountable Talk insisted there should be no makeup days without a contract in place, and wrote a parody of a UFT Q and A. . Norm Scott said this proved the UFT was Vichy, and said, "Watch what they do, not what they say."

UFT officials said it was the law, that the law was the law, and that anyone who contemplated not following the law was a criminal. They asked if we wanted post-apocalyptic news accounts in the NY Post to label working UFT members criminal. Representatives of the New Action Caucus stated that they absolutely deplored this action, that it was beyond reproach and reprehensible, but that they were still supporting Mulgrew for President, and anyone who wasn't was a filthy socialist.

Gotham Schools ran a feature about how nine E4E members had signed a petition urging the mayor to impose an evaluation system before the apocalypse, so that it could be put into effect on the makeup days. E4E leader Evan Stone, said he was not satisfactory but excellent, and needed an evaluation system to establish this conclusively. (Gotham neglected to mention that Mr. Stone no longer works as a teacher.)

Michelle Rhee said that it was a shame the world was coming to an end, but that this only strengthened her resolve. "Teachers suck," said Ms. Rhee, "just like my kids suck at soccer. We need to fire them. I'd invite you to watch me fire one, but unfortunately I myself was fired from the job I had firing teachers. We need more charter schools." When I asked her why, Ms. Rhee leapt from the lectern and chased me all over the hall. She had Michah Lasher hold me down while she duct-taped my mouth shut.

Due to the uproar, the UFT will be publishing a Q and A on why teachers would need to come in after the end of the world, and rolled out a plan to establish a post-apocalypse fund for affected members. This plan will go to the Delegate Assembly so as to preclude rank and file voting on it.

HT: Michael Fiorillo

Those Who Can't Teach

I'm fascinated by this post at EdNotes Online. Norm Scott, who seems to be everywhere doing everything, quotes a Unity chapter leader saying the following:

I gotta be on the side that's going to get me out of this lousy teaching position.

This is an incredible statement, to me at least. I've always been kind of amazed by people who aspire to "get out of the classroom." There are several ways to do that. One, of course, is to go into administration. Another is to seek a job within the union.

Please forgive me here if I seem to be targeting either administrators or union employees, because that's not my intention. I've met both administrators and union employees ranging from brilliant to awful. I try to judge people one at a time.

Here's the thing, though--people who want to "get out of the classroom" tend not to be good teachers. Otherwise, why would they be so anxious to leave? The classroom is the very best part of my job. I love it. I've got enormous respect for good teachers. Those are the people I want leading us, both in admin, and as part of my union.

When I hear CTU President Karen Lewis speak, I've no doubt that this is someone who can inspire kids just as she inspires me. I don't believe for one minute she got involved to get out of the classroom.

It's my opinion that most people who wish to get out of the classroom ought to follow up by getting out of education altogether. Don't waste another minute. No teacher wants to be judged or led by people who can't teach. That includes the five-minute wonders who run E4E with Gates money, every small-minded fussbudget administrator I've ever met, and everyone in the union who doesn't care to understand what it is we actually do.

Teaching is hard. Not everyone can do it. You have to be thinking on your feet all the time and ready to go wherever it goes. People who are rigid, humorless and unimaginative can't hack it. That's why they have such a burning desire to "get out of the classroom."

So here's my advice to those who want to get out of the classroom--do it, and do it now. Find a job more suited to your talents. Doubtless it's your dream to score a gig with the clueless panelists above.

Do the world a favor--get a real job instead.

Rhee Rheedux

Hi, I'm Michelle Rhee. At a time like this, I think it's only fit we redouble my efforts to ensure our reforms reach every student in these United States. After all, people as wealthy as Broad, Gates, and the Walmarts are paying good money for these reforms, and if they weren't very, very smart, why would they have all that money?

Of course every student deserves a good teacher, and the only way to determine whether or not the teacher is good is by the test scores of students. Here at Students First, we don't believe in all that touchy-feely nonsense about role models and self-image. We believe in good teachers, and we have absolute faith in them, except that no matter how good they are, they can't be trusted to write tests themselves. That's just one reason we ignore everything they say or do that isn't related to test scores.

In New York City, where we've just opened up a chapter of Students First, we're pushing heavily for an evaluation system that will get teachers fired if their test scores don't measure up. In fact, rather than spending money on wasteful nonsense like reducing class sizes or paying teachers, we're spending hundreds of thousands in corporate cash to ensure that we have a system that will get teachers fired when they need to be, and that is as soon as possible.

The only real way to keep students safe is to make sure we test them all the time. We know, of course, that this will not reduce gun violence or poverty. But let's be honest--in times like these, we have to do what we can. Our corporate sponsors, frankly, are not interested in widespread efforts to curb these problems. By firing teachers, by weakening their unions, by keeping their pay down and tossing about nonsensical and ineffective merit pay schemes we can keep people from focusing on these things, make millions for corporations that might otherwise be wasted on classrooms, and keep people from thinking too much about how awfully little our sponsors pay in taxes.

That's why I'm able to come to you today and say there are no excuses. If test scores don't go up, heads of unionized teachers will roll and the public will feel something has been done. People who work in Walmart for less than sustenance wages will no longer have to curse teachers for having benefits or reasonable salaries, because we'll put an end to that as well.

If kids are undernourished, if they have interrupted formal education, if they don't speak English, if they have special needs, diagnosed or otherwise, rest assured that we will put Students First by closing their schools and firing their teachers. While this will not actually prevent or discourage any future tragedies, we're certain that people will feel much better if their anger can be redirected at unionized teachers.

Remember, we're here whenever you feel like blaming teachers for education, or indeed whatever you like. Condaleeza Rice and Joel Klein just put out some study saying it was a matter of national security. We have high-priced consultants who can rationalize pretty much anything.

Thank you America, and remember our pledge--we will continue to put Students First right until their 18th birthdays.

I’m Not a Hero.

Like most people, I don’t particularly want to be one, either. I can’t express my awe and admiration for the teachers who protected their students in Newtown, and like anyone, I have no idea what I would do in their circumstances.

The closest I ever came to having students in physical danger was about 25 years ago. I was a very green teacher, teaching English in summer school. I had already angered administration by demanding use of the sole and sacred school copying machine after they informed me there would be no books for my reading class. They were very upset when I informed them I would not teach the class without materials, and had no choice but to capitulate.

One day, rocks, or BBs, or something very fast, started zooming through my windows during class. I took all the kids out into the hall and we started searching for a new classroom. I found a vacant one on another side of the school. We took it. I was scolded for acting without proper authority and given a D, or doubtful rating for the summer, despite having gotten a very good observation from the roving English supervisor who’d observed me.

The following summer, I was observed by a principal. This time, I did nothing out of the ordinary, and my students needed no protection. But I was giving a lesson in which my entire class was very much engaged, and things were going well. The principal, wearing a three-piece suit in stifling heat, walked in, looked at my lesson plan, and clucked his tongue several times.

"This plan only fills three-fourths of the page," he announced. "The next time I come hear, I want your plan to fill at least one full page." He did not write the lesson up, as he had seen none of it and had not the remotest notion what it was about. You can imagine how much I valued his insights,

Experiences like these, I'm sure, typify those of many teachers. Here we are, working our hearts out, and we're judged by people who not only don't appreciate what we do, but likely couldn't do what we do if their lives depended on it.

But I digress. Who is a hero? For one, the young teacher who sacrificed her own life to save those of her young students.

What galled me most after hearing of this tragedy was seeing the reformy types use it to push their own ridiculous programs. I saw paid tweets from Students First pushing the junk science evaluation in NYC. I saw Michelle Rhee, whose idea of classroom control entails taping shut the mouths of children, saying this makes her want to get even more reformy.

These people have no shame. Were it up to them, the heroic teachers of Newtown, CT would be fired for test scores that in no way reflect on who they are or what they do. If they had any dignity whatsoever, they'd crawl back under their rocks for a few days and shut up. I see no more virtue in them than in the troglodyte GOP congressman who now urges teachers to carry assault rifles.

Here's the bottom line--carrying assault rifles or judging people by test scores is precisely the opposite of what we, as teachers, do.

In fact, it's the opposite of what we are, or should ever be.

Home Sweet Home

Lester and Earl

Teacher Tips for the Impending Apocolypse

As I'm certain you all know, the world is due to end a week from tomorrow. Not only that, but if the UFT does not agree to an evaluation that AFT President Randi Weingarten just labeled "junk science," Mayor Bloomberg will impose draconian cuts on the school system, just because he can. After all, mayoral control means he can do what he wants, when he wants, how he wants, and if you don't like it, you can just take a hike, pal.

Me, I'm giving a test on Friday. This makes perfect sense to me. I mean, why waste our last day on earth teaching things that, let's be realistic now, will only be of use for less than 24 hours? Better to take a good measure of what we've done so far. Now here's the beauty part. Everyone knows how traumatic it is to fail a test. But no one will fail this test, because guess what? I'm not spending my last hours on earth grading tests.

Plus, Friday is my department's test day. I'm a team player, and I want to make sure my kids are not burdened by too many tests, what with the world ending and all. So, yes, if it's at all feasible, I advise you to give a test.

Also, I'd say it's probably not the ideal day to eat at the school cafeteria, You don't want to go out eating a DOE fish stick. I'd say it's time to make the trip to that pizzeria, or even that questionable discount sushi place you've been afraid to try. After all, there's not nearly as much risk eating there Friday as there would have been previously.

Most importantly, try to be nice to everyone just in case the whole apocolypse thing doesn't work out.

And if that proves to be the case, do the same on Monday. Just for the heck of it.

God Bless You, Ms. Weingarten

This page may have had a harsh word or two for AFT President Randi Weingarten, particularly back when she was UFT President. This notwithstanding, we come here today not to criticize, but to praise her. Why? Well, yesterday, she said something that startled me. I like being startled sometimes.

 Randi Weingarten, president of the 1.5 million-member American Federation of Teachers, praised L.A. Supt. John Deasy and union President Warren Fletcher for agreeing to use a rich mix of data to evaluate teacher effectiveness rather than what she called the "junk science" of value-added methods.

Now I won't pretend to understand the LA evaluation system, what it does, how it does it, or how effective it is. Who knows? It will take much smarter people than I'll ever be to figure that out. But it's very significant that our President referred to value-added as "junk science." Who wants to be judged by junk science? Not me.

So when junk science comes to town, we can all call it what it is. When anyone tells you that we're bringing value-added to your evaluation, you can confidently call it junk science. On whose authority? On the authority of Randi Weingarten, AFT President. How can it be good for us if our President, no less, calls it junk science?

Do you support junk science? Do you know anyone who does who will actually admit they do? Neither do I. The more of us who will stand up and speak truth to junk science, the fewer of us will be following Tea Party policies that fly in the face of logic. And yes, the Democrats on education are as nuts as Rush Limbaugh is on everything else. There's a good reason why Arne Duncan's name provokes projectile vomiting in public schools nationwide.

But on this day, let's put that all aside. We need all the pushback we can get. I applaud Ms. Weingarten for standing up and speaking the plain unvarnished truth.

More, please.

What's With Mayor Mike?

Mayor4Life is shooting his mouth off again, saying he won't accept any evaluation system that doesn't hold teachers' feet to the fire. He also says he wants all teacher evaluation reports released to the public, despite a law that specifically precludes that. (Ironically, Mayor Mike is currently applying to the Supreme Court to make sure his correspondence with failed Chancellor Cathie Black is not made public. After all, accountability is for the little people.)

The interesting point, though, is that his combativeness does not actually indicate a sincere desire to rate teachers. Were that the case, he wouldn't be using hit and miss nonsensical junk science like VAM. Sure, a new evaluation system will render tenure meaningless and allow Mayor Mike to fire a whole lot more teachers, but that probably isn't enough. After all, while the wheel of VAM could certainly pick off a loudmouth like me, it could easily hit E4E teachers, all two dozen of whom are liable to go out and speak up for this nonsense.

More importantly, the UFT will be able to demand fair hearings for 13% of poorly rated teachers. I hear that sticks in his craw. Mayor Mike likes this system, where anyone he says is no good stays no good.

Mayor Mike, therefore, will have a harder time firing simply anyone he likes for any or no reason. This grieves him deeply. Oddly, I worry much more about the 87% of teachers who won't get fair hearings. They are screwed. It will be on them, at 3020a hearings, to somehow prove they are not incompetent. I have no idea how anyone does that. As things are now, the DOE needs to establish incompetence. You are innocent until proven guilty.

Under the new system, you will be guilty until proven innocent. Does that sound un-American? It does to me.

I hope Mayor Mike continues his hissy-fit indefinitely. The new system will not be good for working teachers, and I could not advise my students to pursue a career in which they'd be judged by junk science. Of course, teachers and unions will be blamed for the lack of agreement, and the New York Post has already began saying it's our fault there isn't one yet.

I wish they were right, but as usual, they aren't.

Trying Things First

In this video, you can see a thoughtful young woman testing a concept. She's trying to settle the age-old question of whether or not one can drink cereal crumbs. Had Bill Gates been thinking about this, there would either be no experiment, or an experiment the results of which meant nothing whatsoever. Once Bill decides he wants something, he tosses some cash at it, and then municipalities are stuck paying for it for decades to come, whether or not it has the remotest validity.

There would simply be a decree from the White House that all teachers must drink cereal crumbs, and that those who didn't drink sufficiently copious amounts would be subject to dismissal. The unions would bicker over how much teachers had to drink, but eventually settle on about half what Bill Gates demanded. Rank and file would get no vote on it, Diane Ravitch would write many blog posts against it, and union leaders would declare we needed to focus on more important issues, like making sure we didn't test the crumbs too much.

Mayor Bloomberg would spend 80 million bucks on a computer program to sort data about the crumbs. The NY papers would run editorials and Meryl Tisch would write op-eds declaring we must enact this immediately because we have no time to waste. Extra time would be added to the school day for cereal crumb drinking, and Pearson would develop mandatory manuals on how and where they must be drunk. And that, perhaps, summarizes the state of all things educational in today's America.

They must be drunk.

And yet here, you can see someone calmly trying to determine whether or not something actually works. She doesn't seem overly concerned with whether or not she needs to impose her findings on the entire country. I have to think, though, that she'd at least wait to discover what said findings were before doing so, had she been thus inclined.

This is pretty much a new and novel concept in today's America.

All Aboard the Junk Science Express

It's mind boggling. Everywhere you read, oh no, it's an emergency! NYC can lose 300 million bucks if we don't agree on an evaluation system! The astroturf shills at E4E are rallying! How will the educators for excellent know whether or not they really are excellent if they haven't got a value-added system on which to base their self-styled opinions? Fellow astroturfers Students First NY are putting up wads of corporate cash to push it through. Bloomberg, predictably, blames the union (though it's likely his monumental ego and intransigence preventing the deal).

Here’s the thing, though—if you read, say, Gary Rubinstein, Aaron Pallas, Tim Clifford, Carol Burris, Diane Ravitch, or the hundreds of NY principals who oppose it, you begin to suspect that there may be some fundamental flaws to this “value-added” system. With further examination, you see it has no validity whatsoever. You begin to notice that, despite eloquent pleas for it by very powerful people, it is nothing but junk science.

Now my union is contemplating an agreement with the city, so that we can get 300 million dollars. That’s a lot of money. But what will it be used for? Smaller class sizes? Better facilities? Blowing up the trailers? Even more miraculous, giving city teachers the contract we’ve been denied for four years?

Or, as history suggests, will it be used for more reformy stuff that has never worked and never will? Another ARIS? Will it be used to pay for the junk science evaluations? To enrich those who write the pointless tests on which the junk science is based? Will it be used to fund merit pay, which has also never worked?

Basically, the state is telling school systems, “Listen, you can have this money, but only if you agree to use a cripplingly expensive system that has never worked, does not work now, and is a long, long time away from ever working at all. You will have to fire teachers based on sheer chance and luck, but hey, those are the breaks.”

This is okay, apparently, with not only Obama, Duncan, Cuomo, Tisch, and Bloomberg, but also the leaders of my union. I’m not at all sure why.

But I’m an educator, and it goes against every fiber of my being to use disproven nonsense to judge my brother and sister teachers.

Not for love, not for money, not for anything.

Where Are We Heading?

It’s a tough year to be a teacher. People have little faith in us. I know this because this year we’ll no longer be able to grade Regents exams our students take.

Apparently, because know the kids and want them to pass, we can’t be trusted to grade them fairly. That is bias. Better to ship the tests off to total strangers who’ve never seen or met them. Clearly they can better judge and interpret their work than those of us who see it every day of our lives.

Maybe we should take this to the next stage and forbid parents from caring for their children. After all, parents are biased too, always wanting the best for their kids. That's just like teachers, so how can they be trusted?

The only thing that can be trusted, apparently, are standardized tests. And of course, that's what we’re talking about. We can’t write the tests ourselves because the Regents in Albany know much better than we do what our students need. Again, this is because they’ve never met them and don’t know them at all. Who better to judge our children?

The great minds that came up with these innovative systems of rating kids are now turning their attention to rating their teachers. Likely they’ve determined from the local tabloids that there is a plague of bad teachers, like zombies in our midst, and that this scourge must be eradicated at whatever cost. Bad teachers walk among us, teaching children wasteful literature, art and music rather than vital bus schedules, bar graphs, or how to fold the towels at Walmart.

The only way to put a stake through the heart of these monsters, apparently, is through increased use of standardized tests. If kids blacken the right circles, the teachers are good. If they blacken the wrong circles, the teachers are bad. How do you take a bad thing and make it better?

Evidently, the only way teachers will learn anything is if you threaten to fire them for said circles. That way, teachers will really know what to do. They could, perhaps, invest heavily in erasers.

Alternatively, they could teach to the test. I’ve taught to the test, and I’d surely do it again if someone put a gun to my head. Kids hate it (and so do I) when I do that, but they learn how to pass the test. 

At least that way, a lot of teachers won’t have to fold towels at Walmart. 

Not yet, anyway.

In Which I Observe Skedula's Expert Trainer

OBSERVATION REPORT

I observed your training lesson yesterday. The lesson was scheduled to begin at 12:30. You were present at that time, but otherwise occupied, and your lesson did not actually begin until 12:40. At 12:40, you apologized for the fact that many teachers had lost the grades they had entered in your system, blamed the school for it, and promised it would not happen again.

You proceeded to explain how the quarterly marking period grades could be cumulatively averaged. You explained how Skedula could average two numbers in great detail for approximately ten minutes until being stopped by the principal at 12:52. After the principal explained to you that quarterly grades were not to be averaged cumulatively, you dropped the subject.

You then began a lengthy explanation about the grading portal, which was not available. You explained when it would be available. You followed another long explanation about "valid grades:" and the various ways teachers could establish them. You offered to schedule monthly meetings on this topic. It was clear to me that no one was interested in attending these meetings.

After that, you stated that since we offered Castle Learning, we would probably not wish to use the DDC feature. You explained that you would come back to the DDC feature later, after having explained we would probably not wish to use it. You then continued to discuss the DDC feature.

When a teacher stood up and asked what DDC was, explaining that no one had ever heard of it before, you became visibly upset. You answered that DDC was a "data-driven classroom, and offered to come back and explain what DDC was. 

Positive aspects of your lesson:

You were well-dressed, for the most part. The SmartBoard technology was functional, and you displayed competence in its use. You seemed to know your content well.

Negative aspects of your lesson:

You failed to begin your lesson in a timely manner.

Your aim was to familiarize your audience with basic grading techniques of Skedula, and for the most part, your session was unrelated to the aim. You did not consider your audience, all of whom had signed up for basic instruction. You instead spent most of your time discussing administrative matters which did not apply to most of your audience.

As a result, I observed much if not most of your audience engaged in conversation, lesson-plan preparation, reading, and other unrelated activities. You did not seem at all aware you had lost your audience, and simply continued on regardless.

Your lecture on how to average two numbers not well received. I observed two of your audience members discussing the fact that they could calculate it faster than the program, with or without paper or pencil. The fact that the calculation itself was unnecessary to begin with rendered the entire exercise ridiculous, and highlighted your lack of preparation.

You brought up DDC, or "data driven classroom," despite your own verbal assertion that they probably would not need it. You continued to dwell on a subject you yourself had declared irrelevant to your audience. In fact, your audience did not even know what it was. Rather than encourage open discussion, you repeatedly declined to answer a question, until the questioner stood up and insisted you explain the term. You then offered to explain it further, for reasons that were clear to no one.

You had clearly not completed your goal when your time was up. Though you offered to remain and answer individual questions, not only did every member of your audience need to go to another session, but you yourself were scheduled to begin another one. If indeed you answered questions after this lesson, it would have caused your next lesson to begin late as well.

Despite the facts that months ago I heard you promise an iPad app within weeks, this app is still unavailable. Most of your audience members were using iPads even as you demonstrated on a PC. I understand that you are now promising the first iteration of the iPad app sometimes this month, but given your past failure to produce, I am wary.

Suggestions for improvement:

It is our policy to offer bell-to-bell instruction. Please begin promptly and be sure your audience is immediately engaged. One way to do that would be to remain on the stated topic, for which every member had signed on.

Try to be helpful and friendly when fielding questions. Do not show hostility when being questioned, particularly when you've brought up terms with which none of your audience is familiar. This will encourage participation, engagement, and learning. Nonetheless, should you determine such terms are not relevant to your audience, it's far better not to bring them up at all.

Please determine what your aim is and follow it. I strongly suggest you engage in planning. I saw no evidence whatsoever you had done so before this session, you had no written plan in evidence, and you clearly seemed to be improvising. While improvisation may be useful as a jumping-off point, you were mistaken in thinking it would sustain an entire lesson. This cost you the attention of your audience, and resulted in largely wasting their time.

In the future, please bring evidence of prior planning, and I will be happy to discuss and review it with you. In this way, you may better engage your audience and more efficiently use both their time and yours.

I strongly suggest you observe the young man who presented Apple iTunes U. Not only was he friendly, well-prepared, easy to understand and consistently on point, but the program he was demonstrating seemed intuitive, simple, and easy to use with little or no training. This is in marked contrast to Skedula, which after several months, still perplexes many who attempt to use it.

This lesson was UNSATISFACTORY.

What Should the Next UFT Commercial Look Like?

Hi, I'm Michael Mulgrew, President of the United Federation of Teachers. Recently there's been a lot of news about money the city may receive. It could be up to 300 million dollars, according to what I've been reading in the papers. That's a lot of money, and it would be a shame for the city to lose it.

This money is contingent on an evaluation system for teachers. This system would judge teachers based on the test scores of their students. That sounds like a good idea at first blush, but all available research indicates that there is, as yet, no valid measure of teacher quality based on test scores. In fact, teachers regarded as great have been fired in DC, and denied tenure right here in New York. Believe it or not, one woman who was named teacher of the year got an unsatisfactory rating based on her test scores.

Despite what you may have heard, we very much want your kids to have great teachers. The UFT has always supported higher standards for teachers, and we will continue to do so. But this particular method will cause teachers to lose their jobs at random, and it's tough enough on our teachers right now.

NYPD, FDNY and all city unions got an 8% raise between 2008-2010. Teachers haven't had a contract since 2009, and haven't had a raise in four years. Now we are reasonable. When Mayor Bloomberg asked us to come in and make up time lost for Hurricane Sandy, we immediately agreed.

But now the mayor wants us to agree to an evaluation system that's inaccurate and baseless. That's a problem. He says he wants great teachers, but he doesn't even want to pay the ones he has for the ever-increasing cost of living. Yes, we are reasonable. But it should not be us, alone, working indefinitely without a contract, without a raise, and subject to arbitrary dismissal for factors that may be completely out of our control.

We are, and always have been ready to come to the table and negotiate. But negotiation is a two-way street, Mr. Mayor. If you truly value teachers, be ready to give them at least what you gave everyone else. If that's your intention, we will sit down, and we will work out this evaluation issue like the reasonable people you know us to be.

Gracias a Jorge

I Do Not Like this V A M, I Do Not Like it, Sam I Am

I'm not much for conspiracy theories. Yet I read that the new Common Core may lower test scores, I see widespread pressure for the UFT to adopt a junk science evaluation system, and I wonder whether or not it's sheer coincidence. It's pretty clear to me, when corporate astroturf groups like Students First NY and E4E (and whatever else they're calling themselves this week) push the new system, that it won't benefit anyone but those looking to privatize education. I can fervently hope the UFT leadership declines to give in, but frankly I can't anticipate any way they could render it workable under the state law they helped negotiate.

The fact that I may have as little as 20% crap in my evaluation is hardly reassuring. In fact, given that neither New York State nor Common Core bothers to differentiate between native English speakers and ESL students, I'm kind of concerned about all my ESL-teaching brethren (and sisteren, of course).  Given we live in a country that doesn't think we should test Common Core before enacting it in over 40 states, a country that has imposed junk science evaluation on many of those same states, I have little faith they're going to do anything remotely rational.

Is this the trifecta for the lowlifes who run astroturf groups? Will they be able to fire hundreds of teachers for no reason, just like they did in DC? Certainly that's one of their goals.

And while I understand the UFT rationale, that we must appear reasonable, it's simply not reasonable to agree to anything that has no basis in theory or practice. That's true even if the NY Post writes bad things about us. In fact, the NY Post will continue to write bad things about us no matter what we do. After all, we are union, anathema to every thing Rupert Murdoch believes in, and tries to make America believe in. In fact, the Post liked the UFT for about five minutes following the miserable 2005 contract, but went back to bashing us almost immediately thereafter.

To my mind, it's a pretty good bet that anything the NY Post, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, or Eli Broad likes is not good for working teachers. And please, don't give me that nonsense that these people put students first. Denigrating working conditions for teachers, or indeed anyone, will not remotely help the kids we serve. They will grow up in the job market we leave them, and it behooves us as teachers, as parents, as responsible adults, to leave it better off that the way we found it.

This task falls particularly hard on our shoulders, as the last bastion of vibrant unionism in these United States. Either we're going to improve things, or we're going to let them get so bad we will need to relive the 20th century, and the fight all over again for the rights of working people, the ones we surrendered hoping for Rupert Murdoch's approval.

I believe in union, and there is nothing I would like more than to absolutely support mine in everything they do. However, leadership is going to have to help out a little bit if that's what they want from me---and from all of us.

Meryl Tisch and John King Implementing Education Programs that Cannot Wait

The Evaluation Trap--What's the UFT Planning?

It's been a while since UFT President Michael Mulgrew went to Albany and negotiated a statewide evaluation system. Part of that agreement was that value-added testing would comprise 20%, 25%, 40%, or even 100% of a teacher rating. It depends who you ask, and perhaps also when you ask.

The debate over percentages does not much interest me. I'm firmly persuaded that the optimal percentage of VAM in a teacher rating is zero. UFT people I speak to say, well, what if you have a crazy principal who gives you a U for no reason? And yes I know there are principals like that. But I fail to see how diluting that crazy principal's rating with junk science by 20, 25, 40, or whatever percentage will help anything. Why aren't we talking about removing crazy principals rather than evaluating teachers out of work for no reason?

Here's the thing--a UFT rep came to my school last year and heard a whole lot of complaints about having gone two years without a contract, and three without a raise. This rep told us not to worry, that we'd get our contract. The rep told us UFT leadership was very smart, and that any new evaluation system would have to come in the form of a contract. While I will not personally vote for any contract that contains junk science, no matter what sort of money comes with it, I could appreciate that argument.

However, at Gotham Schools I repeated the argument, and Peter Goodman, AKA Ed in the Apple, suggested I misheard. Goodman states that evaluations can be independent of the contract. Why would he be singing that particular song at this time? Could it be the UFT is getting ready to have working teachers judged by junk science and will not even bother demanding a contract in return?

I have some advice for the Unity Caucus--if you wish to maintain your stranglehold on UFT politics, don't even think of agreeing to an evaluation system without procuring, at the very least, the 8% raise all other city employees got between 2008-2010. And don't forget that it's now 2012, and screwing the other unions by accepting a big fat zero for this year is just not the thing to do.

Again, I will not vote for any contract that includes junk science. I find it reprehensible that teachers will be fired as a result of invalid measurements.  One teacher fired for no reason is one teacher too many. And hundreds? Based on junk science? Too much for me.

Selling teachers down the river so the city can get money to do more reformy stuff is insane. That's not why anyone became a teacher. I certainly hope Goodman is "smoking something," as Sandy Feldman said people were before her first double zero contract went down to defeat. I hit maximum two years earlier because it was renegotiated. We, the teachers, can say no to contract.

And they, the leadership, should say no to junk science. At the absolute bare minimum, they must demand a contract before agreeing to this nonsense. I still won't support it, but at least we won't look like a bunch of morons with no negotiating skill whatsoever.

Is It the New York Times, or Is It the Onion?

I don't know what to say anymore when I read the news. Does anyone remember the deal the UFT made with the Gates Foundation? They were going to do some sort of research on value-added, and they would score the teachers, and it would be a big secret. The secret part made sense, since there was no validity whatsoever to the methodology. Why we agreed to it in the first place I can't say. In any case, when the papers demanded the results, Tweed said, oh my gosh, it's the law, so we must release it. Papers printed scores, teachers were publicly humiliated, and one poor woman was called the worst teacher in New York on the front page of the execrable New York Post.

Yet Bloomberg swears he'll go to the Supreme Court before anyone sees the emails between him and brilliant educator Cathie Black. Because junk science that makes working teachers look bad must be made public ASAP, but whatever passed between Bloomberg and the Most Unqualified Educator of All Time must be kept secret at any cost. Doubtless financial expert Bloomberg will fight this case to the city's last nickel.

Next on our absurd news is an op-ed in Schoolbook by Merryl Tisch and John King, doubtless trying to give Cathie Black a run for her money on precisely how unqualified one must be to run public education. Tisch and Black put forth the idiotic argument that we can't wait another moment to unleash untested and failed programs on our young people. It's of the utmost importance that we get started right away with Common Core, even though it's never been tested anywhere and no one knows how, or even if it works. Let's quickly dump all that literature nonsense and get kids reading important stuff, like train schedules, menus and articles by people who have not the remotest notion what they are talking about. That would be Tisch and King, in case I'm being too subtle.

Also, of course, we need to embark on a new teacher evaluation system. This is because neither Tisch nor King can be bothered to do the most cursory research on value-added, which is junk science pure and simple. And yet we live in a state, in a country in which research, science and statistics are held meaningless by those who run education.

World renowned moron Tom Friedman nominates Arne Duncan for secretary of state nytimes.com/2012/11/28/opi… @teacherarthurg
— Nick (@SpectreXx) November 28, 2012

As for the cherry on top of today's cake, visionary NY Times columnist Tom Friedman, cheerleader for such brilliant undertakings as GW Bush's Iraq War, tosses his hat into the education arena. suggesting that Arne Duncan ought to be Secretary of State. This makes sense to Friedman because Duncan was able to negotiate with tough-as-nails Randi Weingarten. Weingarten is responsible for the wonderful 2005 NYC contract, for the merit-pay VAM Newark contract, and for VAM nonsense in other parts of the country. Recent admirers of Ms. Weingarten include Governor Chris Christie and Eli Broad.  Friedman wants to expand Race to the Top, because he has no idea what it is or what it does and that's just fine with him. Apparently he's also unaware that Duncan's Renaissance 2010 in Chicago was an utter failure, and can't be bothered to find out.

So there you have it. People who don't do research, people who ignore existing research, people who can't be bothered to test theories before trying them en masse on hapless American schoolchildren--those are the people we have running our education systems and writing for our newspapers.

Say It Ain't So, Miss Oh

Miss Oh was getting ready to teach her English class when a monitor came to her door with the daily attendance. Included in her little folder. as is often the case, was a stack of papers. Miss Oh dutifully passed out the papers and proceeded to try and figure who was here and who was not. She had learned the hard way, as a new teacher, that administrators take attendance very seriously and was not about to have the same problem twice.

"What's this?" she heard, from her generally well-behaved class.

"You must be kidding me!" came another voice, even more agitated than the first.

"What's the matter?" she asked, looking up from the sacred attendance sheet.

"This paper says there's no February vacation, Miss Oh. How can you do this to us?"

"Well, it wasn't my idea," she responded, with great conviction.

A boy stood up and announced, "Well, I'm not coming. My dad said we were gonna go to Florida that week, and that's what we're gonna do."

"Well," offered Miss Oh, "It's a regular attendance day so please bring a note when you come back."

The comments and questions grew more heated. Miss Oh did not like this at all. She had not seen her class so out of control since she was a new teacher.

Later, in the teacher cafe, she told her friends, "It was only five minutes, but it felt like an eternity. I felt like they were all coming after me."

"You know," said her best friend Ms. Dawson, "You're lucky I wasn't in that class. I would've come after you too, and much harder than any of those kids did.

Obama: Do as I Say, Not as I Do

Leonie Haimson has a great new piece pointing out that the preposterous things we demand from American children don't apply to the kids of the President of the United States. Sasha and Malia attend the Sidwell Friends School, where they are not subject to high-stakes tests, and where they enjoy small class sizes. Obama was very vocal in criticizing Romney for opposing reasonable class sizes, yet his Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, did the same thing months earlier.

One would think this would suggest a change in Education Secretaries for term two, but one would be mistaken. Many public school parents and working teachers are upset with his insane and non-science-based policies, but it appears we're headed for more of the same. I often question why the NEA and AFT supported a second term for such policies and I get varying responses. One is that Romney would have been worse. Indeed, Romney supported not only all the crap Obama supports, but also vouchers. However, Obama's education policies are pretty bad, as evidenced by supporters like Jeb Bush.

The other talking point I get from union reps is that Obama has said many positive things about class size, but again he never refuted Duncan's contradictory statements. More importantly, there has been absolutely no action to support these words. Also, Obama has spoken out against excessive testing, but policies like Race to the Top and Common Core will almost certainly exacerbate the problem. Sad to say, his words look very much like lip service, and, unless they are accompanied by deeds, will surely be meaningless.

Would it have been tougher for a GOP President to have enabled such things? Probably. Democrats may have opposed such nonsense on principle had it been suggested by a Republican. But we are Barack Obama's Sister Souljah moment, and nonsensical VAM evaluations will surely result in teachers being fired for no reason whatsoever. However, now that Democrats have jumped on the "reform" bandwagon, this is a tough issue for us. Until these programs fail, as they certainly will, and enough people notice it, which may or may not happen, we're stuck here.

We missed a golden opportunity by not making demands before endorsing Obama. LGBT and immigrant groups extracted concessions from this President, and I marvel day after day why our union leaders, in what promised to be a very close election, did not deem this worth negotiating over.

On Debate

This week I had to delete a number of comments. One likened this blog to Fox News and called me all sorts of names. Another laid out what I should write about, and criticized my choice of topics. Apparently these readers know what belongs here better than I do. Perhaps they should start their own blogs and write about whatever they wish.

Sometimes people tell me what I think, and are almost invariably incorrect. I'm not sure what passes for debate elsewhere, but to me that's blatantly ridiculous. You say this, therefore you believe (insert preposterous and offensive assumption here).

This is first and foremost an opinion page. It's remarkable that some adults, who have presumably seen newspapers and/ or news shows, seem unable to discern that. I'm not Jim Lehrer reporting the news. If there is, indeed, another side, feel free to offer it. I'm all ears. In fact, if you persuade me I'm wrong I'll admit it. Frankly, though there was at least one issue-oriented comment at odds with my opinion, no one has come close to changing my mind this week.

Arguments like you are an idiot, how dare you say that, or why aren't you giving my point of view rather than your own are juvenile, and furthermore unpersuasive.

I welcome dissenting opinion. If union reps wish to comment here and offer points of view other than mine, or discuss issues, they are more than welcome, and if I respond it won't be with personal insults.

However, if the sort of ad hominem nonsense I've been seeing in the comment section represents what is discussed behind closed doors by those who run our union, we are in very sad shape. I would not tolerate this sort of discussion from teenagers in my classroom and I certainly won't tolerate it here.

The comment section here is a forum for opinion and discussion, not personal attacks or name-calling. If you feel such policies are unfair, feel free to seek out and participate in a forum that meets your standards.

Happy Turkey Day

I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who bothers to read this little blog, all those who've contributed to it, and all those who took time out from their Thanksgiving Day to read this.

We have a lot to be thankful for. We have the best job in the world. There is no greater privilege than that of influencing, guiding, and helping our young people. I'm very proud to be a teacher, and all teachers have much to be proud about.

Though they trash us in the media, though we're used as a political football, and though the President of the United States sees fit to use us as his Sister Souljah moment, we move on and do the important work we've chosen, day after day.

Of course it's not easy. And of course many of us are suffering from the disaster that rocked the east coast three short weeks ago. But we're smarter and tougher than our detractors, and like the truth, we will prevail. I have no doubt.

But it's on us to make sure of that. We can rest this weekend, but there is a lot of work to do. We must confront the demagogues with the inconvenient truth at every turn. We must be unafraid to speak, to write, to show up where we are needed.

We must make our voices heard. Because one voice won't suffice. There isn't just one voice, and there isn't just one way of speaking.

Just like there isn't just one turkey. Some people just don't like turkey. But there's a turkey for everyone out there anyway.

The Law Is the Law, Says UFT Leadership

That's what I keep hearing. Don't you know about the law? Do you want us to break the law? We all have to respect the law and never, ever question it, no matter what, because it's the law.

That's why, apparently, it was vital that we agree to give up February break immediately, with no consultation whatsoever with rank and file. It appears that the State Education Department has the power to waive the 180-day requirement, but can only do so when all vacation days are exhausted. That's true. It's in the UFT Q and A that came out yesterday, and will doubtless be a talking point used against folks like me who wonder why we were so quick to capitulate.

However, there is another way to waive the requirement. This, apparently, escaped the attention of whoever wrote the UFT Q and A. The State Legislature can vote to do so, and have done so as recently as last year. In fact, on November 1st, they were considering just that.

School districts would face a loss of state aid if they were to have fewer than 180 days of classes. Lawmakers said they would look to modify the law to hold school districts downstate harmless because of the extended school closures caused by the devastation from Sandy.

So yes, the law is the law. But why didn't we wait to find out if it would be waived without penalty before agreeing with Walcott? Had the law been changed, I'm certain teachers would have agreed to forgo consultation days and provide kids with more instruction. That, my friends, is what is known as a win-win.

And that is what we should all aspire to. When this chancellor demands we jump, after having denied us the contract almost all other city workers got, we ought not to be asking, "How high?"

We ought to be making our own demands.

OK, we'll do the days. My demand? First, put every ATR teacher to work so as to alleviate outrageous class sizes.

In exchange for our time, we certainly ought to ask for more than nothing whatsoever, which appears to be what UFT leadership requested.

What would you ask this chancellor?

Daily News Inspired by Merit Pay Fairy

Since Newark teachers ratified a contract full of unspecified bonuses for evaluations that don't exist, the Daily News editorial board thinks we ought to do the same thing. You know, we should be paid like professional athletes. This is not a new argument. I've been hearing it for years. Except, of course, that no one, ever, has remotely suggested we be paid on any such scale.

Blogger Jersey Jazzman has been consistently brilliant on this issue, and wrote a fairly definitive history describing its various incarnations and failures. Regrettably, the Daily News editorial board either hasn't heard, or more likely doesn't wish to hear about them. They'd prefer to interview some defeated ex-union chief who no longer believes seniority ought to mean anything for working people.

For some reason, a lot of people out there actually believe that folks on the Daily News editorial board, the ones who consistently support things like junk-science VAM, actually care more about kids than we do. After all, all we do is spend every working hour of our lives teaching them, watching them, caring for them. What the hell do we know about kids?

I think Lily Tomlin said, "No matter how cynical you get, it's hard to keep up." And every day, I marvel when I read about the latest untested or failed nonsense that's come down the pike, and how we must enact it right now. I kind of expect this from newspaper editorial boards.

What really disappoints me is when union leaders stand behind it, calling it innovative and worthwhile. I'm particularly irked when they call real teachers liars for opposing such nonsense. In this case, it is the New Caucus that opposes the junk sci-contract, and Jersey Jazzman has posted their position in its entirety.

The danger of nonsense like this contract is that it can spread like a cancer. It's no accident that Bill Gates' boy Arne Duncan has imposed crap evaluation on most of the country, and I don't doubt the man who stated Katrina was the best thing to happen to education in New Orleans would love to see us have contracts just like this one. Chris Christie and Eli Broad love it. That's just one reason for us not to.

Here's another--real working teachers need a raise, not a tip. Remember that when they tell you you can make "up to" whatever. Because the other side is you can also make "as little as" whatever.  A one time payment of "up to $20,000" for a degree approved by the likes of Chris Christie is no substitute for actual credit for education. We ought to encourage teachers to get more education, not have them spin the Wheel of Fortune to find out how much it's worth.

Is that what pro athletes do? If so, I've yet to hear about it.

UFT President Michael Mulgrew Gives Up February Break

Just got an email from Michael Mulgrew stating that Wednesday through Friday would be work days, and that a half-day in June would become a full day.

That makes much more sense than converting PD days into attendance days. After all, it's of pivotal importance that we learn how bad it is for kids to be late, how we have to teach some special way, and how they've repackaged ten-year-old ideas that didn't work into new ideas that don't work. Perish forbid we should miss a moment of that. Better to strip hard-working teachers who've just lived through the worst catastrophe in their living memory of the break they're all looking forward to.

Why forge creative solutions when you can simply capitulate and do whatever Dennis Walcott golly goshdarn feels like?

Here's the thing--this is not about Children First. Not remotely. If it were, we'd have converted the PD days in a flash. It's about the money the state gives Mayor Bloombucks, ostensibly to run schools. If we don't show, he loses that money. Then, how will he finance the next ARIS? How will he pay for the next round of preposterously flawed Spanish pseudo-Regents exams?

And most importantly, where will he find the money to not give hard-working teachers a raise for the fifth year in a row?

We had to do this, because the law is the law. Unless it involves term limits. Or selecting an unqualified chancellor. Or fulfilling FOIL requests. Or negotiating in good faith with the UF of T. Or anything else Mayor Bloomberg doesn't feel like doing.

And the law apparently forbids thinking outside the box, seeking creative solutions, or using the COPE money teachers like me faithfully send in to enable such things.

I know. They did the best they could do.

Just like in 05.

It's time to either do things better, or find someone who can.

Related: ICE-UFT Blog

Open Letter to UFT President

Dear Mr. Mulgrew:

I was somewhat dismayed by your letter stating we must make up days in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. I’m a little shocked the union would conclude this without having even consulted rank and file.

This, however, is not at all my only concern. First of all, there has been very public talk of relaxing the minimum attendance requirement statewide. We certainly ought to be open to that, and examine our options before simply agreeing to Chancellor Walcott's very public pronouncements. As you pointed out in your letter, we have worked up to 196 days a year and there was never extra compensation for our efforts.

My primary concern is for my members, many of whom, like me, have not been able to stay in their homes for over two weeks. We have not, in fact, spent our time off watching Oprah and eating popcorn. Most of my time has been spent frantically calling electricians and plumbers to replace walls, floors and appliances destroyed when six feet of saltwater rampaged through my home. Despite being essentially homeless, like many of my members, I’ve yet to miss a day this year.

Many of my members have already made plans for breaks and are set to lose considerable sums of money if these plans are abruptly altered by mayoral fiat or otherwise. At the last Queens Chapter Leader meeting, I was reminded that article 6C of our Contract lays out the days we are required to report.

I certainly hope I did not make an error sharing that information with my members.  Further financial strains on those affected by the storm will not be welcome. As you know, all city employees but educators received raises in excess of 8% between 2008-2010. My members, who have gone four years without a raise, are ill-prepared to take such a hit at this time.

In fact, last year we took no snow days at all, and Walcott, in a bizarre but typical DOE aberration from logic, gave us a choice in June of having kids attend or running an SBO for a PD day. My members were quite confused at the prospect of making up a snow day we did not actually use, and have reminded me of this frequently, most recently last Friday.

Personally, I'm incredulous the UFT seems to have capitulated to Walcott's demands for more days without any discussion, let alone demands. If Walcott wishes for us to be reasonable, the very least he can offer in return is a contract, with the 8% raise Mayor Bloomberg unconditionally granted all other city employees.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Very truly yours,

Arthur Goldstein, UFT Chapter Leader
Francis Lewis High School

The Amish Are Wimps

For years, I've been hearing about those hearty souls, up with the sun, and asleep with the moon, using only a candle now and then to make their way in the evening. And no they don't have electricity, so they aren't frittering away their time with Facebook and Twitter, and certainly they aren't indulging in anything so inane as a blog. So we'll grant them that.

But in my house, we don't have any stinking electricity either. Now here's where the Amish lose me. In their homes, they have to have walls, and floors and all sorts of other frivolities. None of that for us. We've taken down our walls, because we aren't going to bother with any of that nonsense anymore. And pretty soon we're gonna get rid of those floors too, probably tomorrow.

Because this is America, land of the free and home of the brave. In America, we don't have to depend on walls, and floors and electricity. We aren't one of those wimpy socialist European countries where everyone simply gets health care just for being alive. No, we make sure that the people who need money the very least get tax breaks, because they're so fragile that if you touched them, they'd probably break.

The rest of us are a bunch of cowboys wandering the plains in our gas-guzzling automobiles, surveying the landscape, taking that goshdarn suburban outlook and moving it back to the piles of rubble that suit our post-Sandy apocalyptic sensibilities. Because that picture to the left? That's the real America.

Today's Cartoon

Three Weeks

That's how long it will be before my little family can go home. We need a new boiler, water heater, washer/ dryer, refrigerator, dishwasher and stove. Problem is, we also need new floors and walls, and apparently we need to dry out and clean up the mess that is our crawl space. For one thing, right now, when we turn the electricity on, it seems to catch fire.

They tell me that it's a real disadvantage to have your house catch fire on a regular basis. Also, it appears before they can put in new walls and floors they have to remove the old ones. And they tell me that it's tough to live in a house without walls or floors. Also, the stairs, which we frequently use to go from one floor to another, need replacing.

Now I'm a reasonable guy. Why can't they take off this piece of the floor, or that wall and not this one? Can't we just replace this piece of floor we need to walk on now and save the rest for later?

Apparently not.

I gotta say, all in all, I did not much enjoy my date with Sandy.

Where Is This Man?

 

This is the President I voted for in 2008, speaking for the power of people to organize. This is the President I've missed for four long years, as he failed to find those comfortable shoes and materialize in Wisconsin, as he failed to support, let alone pass, the Employee Free Choice Act, as he failed to stop the ruinous Bush tax cuts.

Now he has another term, and teachers are saying it's time to dump Arne Duncan, who lacks the sensitivity of a number two pencil, who publicly declared that Katrina was the best thing to happen to education in New Orleans. Sure, if you're a privatizer, or a corporate shill looking to beef up your portfolio on the backs of helpless schoolchildren. Or if you think drowning low-scoring children is a good way to juke the stats. 

To this, rumors abound. One is this--if Arne Duncan goes, Michelle Rhee will take his place. I presume that is supposed to scare us, so we say, oh no, Mister Obama, PLEASE keep Arne Duncan, because even though he hates us and everything we stand for, he's better than that scary Michelle Rhee! Actually, I see little difference. They are both fanatical "reformers" who can't be bothered with facts. Anything that comes out of Bill Gates' platinum-plated ass is good enough for school children. We can't wait to test the theories, and we must ignore all studies and experiences that say they don't work.

I didn't vote for this, and this isn't hope and change. If I wanted someone who was going to oppose science, I could've voted for Romney, Ryan, Maverick Johny McCain, Sarah Palin, and all the good old boys and girls on Fox.

The AFT and NEA endorsed Obama, and he won by a small margin. For the life of me I have not the foggiest notion why they did not extract concessions from him first. And for the life of me I see no reason whatsoever that he should do us any favors now. I'd love to see that guy in the video above.

That's a man I could support. That's a man who deserves the support of working Americans like you and me.

But again, where is that man?

Act of God No Excuse, Declares Mayor Michael Bloomberg

If your house had ten feet of water rip through it, or if your living room is full of mud, or sand, or locusts, that's no reason for missing work. Michael Bloomberg is the mayor of New York, he has billions of dollars, and if he says so it must be true.

After all, his brownstone is still there, and it was not damaged. Why the hell was your residence damaged? If you had half a brain, you would've bought an east side brownstone rather than a ranch house in a flood area. Then you would've been able to go to work while the storm raged. So what if you were taken up by the wind, and flew around with Dorothy and Toto and a cow? Judy Garland wasn't even five foot tall and she did it. So what's your excuse, pal?

And please, don't give me that line about helping your grandfather dig out of his ruined home. Have you seen Bloomberg helping anyone clean up, or bringing food to people without power? Have you seen him donating food to shelters? Of course not. In fact, he banned donations to food shelters, because who knows whether or not the evil donors will give soft drinks that are too large? After all, who wants those careless refugees drinking too much Pepsi Cola?

Now of course Mayor Bloomberg has made allowances in case the building in which you work happened to have been closed. Were that the case, you simply had to have taken a photograph of yourself in front of the closed building on the day in question. What could be simpler? And just to make things perfectly clear, Mayor Bloomberg made that ruling a week after the fact. So all you need do is travel back through time, take the photo, perhaps with that day's newspaper, and provide absolute proof you didn't do so after the fact. A cinch.

Mayor Bloomberg is not restricted by nature. When we were hit with a crippling snowstorm last year, he just got in his private jet and headed to Bermuda. If you'd had the foresight to do that, you wouldn't have been here bellyaching about how to get your car out of the driveway. And please don't go on about convention and laws. When Mayor Bloomberg saw term limits, twice affirmed by voters, he simply got his pals to pass a new law, spent a hundred million bucks, and bought himself Gracie Mansion, fair and square, for the third time.

So please, New York, enough with the complaints. Man up, and face the situation. Just do what Mayor Bloomberg would do.

Role Reversal

Ad of the Week

Donors Choose Promotes Anti-teacher Propaganda, AFT Promotes Donors Choose

For those unfamiliar with Donors Choose, it's an organization teachers can use to fund classroom projects. Thus all the needed supplies that folks like Mayor Bloomberg fail to provide can come from charity. Can we please have this or that? It only costs 400 bucks, and since I haven't had a raise in four years I can't lay it out myself.

However, Donors Choose does other things, like pay people to watch anti-teacher, anti-union propaganda. In fact, they offered to bribe teachers who would watch it. Personally, I found that repugnant. I would sell things to raise money for my classroom before taking a dime from an organization that supports teacher-bashing.

Furthermore, Donors Choose had no qualms about taking money from the miserable teacher-bashing film Won't Back Down, actually headlining that it supports teachers. This is the sort of nonsense that turns my stomach. While the latest attempt at anti-teacher propaganda bombed at the box office, we really don't need to associate with those who'd strip us of everything for which we've collectively labored for decades.

Therefore I was shocked to get an email from the AFT urging me to contribute to Donors Choose. I won't reproduce it here as I don't wish to drive traffic to their site. But I have a few questions for our leadership.

How many times must they stab us in the back before we get the message? Is twice enough? Or are we breathlessly waiting for yet another attack on our profession and everything we stand for?

Act of God? Contract? Forget it, Says Walcott

NYC Schools Chancellor Dennis Walcott will not let natural disasters deter him from his mission. Kids must sit in school as long and as much as possible. Living through a disastrous hurricane never taught anyone anything, he reasons, and kids must make up the time they'd have spent preparing for standardized tests. After all, the more time they spent in school, the more circles will be correct, and the more likely it will be that his boss, Michael Bloomberg, will have achieved his divine mission to get those circles in the right places.

And that is the only thing that matters. If the circles are wrong, they can close schools. They can exile teachers to the ATR. They can undermine neighborhoods by cutting school space and dumping private charters into them. But eventually, if those circles aren't in the right places, someone will blame Bloomberg, and that is absolutely unacceptable. What the hell do those losers expect? He's only been at it for ten years, and it takes time to accomplish these things.

So we'll just order the teachers back to work. After all, they've been having big fun all week, sitting in the dark and freezing with the rest of the bridge and tunnel crowd, in Queens, or Brooklyn, or whatever those places are called. And we gave them a raise three or four years ago. What the hell are they always whining about anyway? So what if all the other city employees got 8% between 2008 and 2010? They deserved it! It's not their fault kids don't know where to put the circles!

So, we will negotiate with the UFT. They're always talking about getting a seat at the table, so we'll give them one. And we're flexible. We're willing to call them back for four days, but if that's not acceptable we'll call them back five or six. That's why we negotiate.

But nothing will stay between us and those circles! If we have to buy another term to get them in the right places, so be it!

The Value of a Good Electrician

With the green tag on our house, our town turned on our electricity. It turns out they really can do it one house at a time. We and three neighbors now have power.

However, our electrician warned us not to use it until he came over. He tested circuits one by one, and it turns out we have quite a few loose wires underwater in our crawl space. We know that because they caused a small fire, which the electrician quickly extinguished. Tomorrow he and a plumber will drain the crawl space and remove or replace the offending wires.

Then they will install a new gas furnace, which apparently can mount to the ceiling rather than sit on the floor so as to wait to be destroyed by the next flood. So if we get that far, we will have not only power, but also that heat stuff I've been hearing so much about.

And if we ever get that far, I'll probably start writing about education again. I'm hoping Wednesday's storm proves far less educational than Sandy did.

Time will tell.

We Passed! (So What?)

It was a great thing, first thing in the morning, to sit in line for three and a half hours waiting for gas. Intrepid daughter and her teddy bear came with me, and weathered the situation with the other hundreds of motorists who shared our predicament. Forty-dollar cash limit was reduced to twenty by the time we hit the front, but I persuaded the guy to go twenty-five and pretty much filled the Prius. Good to have a Prius this week.

Our town has its own electric company, and the mayor's office told me they were turning us back on at 10 AM yesterday. The woman told me it was on us to get things in order, and if we didn't, our house could catch fire or explode. I told her that was insane. If there are a thousand people in our town, at least ten of them are crazy, and when their houses blew up, ours would too. She was not fazed. Power was going on at 10 AM, and that was it.

My neighbor had a genius electrician who changed all his circuit breakers, but he was too busy to help us. My friend, a retired electrician, came out on the condition that I drive him, and told us we would have to change not only the breakers, but also the box, and that we would have to pull the meter to do this. He didn't feel like doing the job, but would do it anyway if we couldn't find anyone else. Fortunately, we did, and he also pulled the meter outside and cleaned it or something. It was pretty hard to buy the box and breakers, and it cost me some gas (and ultimately three and a half hours this AM). There were no breakers or boxes anywhere in my town, but I went to a Home Depot farther from the flood and they had several.

After waiting for gas this AM, we went to our home and found a green sticker on it. Apparently the mayor's office had thought about those houses blowing up, and sent inspectors. The only thing they looked at was the meters, and on my block, my house was one of only four that passed. However, we will not have electricity until every other house on the block passes too. I need not have rushed. After a flood like this, I seriously doubt everyone on my block is in a position to have an electrician come out, and those licensed in my town are very, very busy.

So we're fortunate to be at sister-in-law's house, a few miles north, where we're welcome and there is, thankfully, enough space for us. But I hate, hate being shut out of my home.

And I know very well there are people worse off than we are. I don't care what people say about Christie, Cuomo and Bloomberg. They are a bunch of self-serving thugs, and the good things they do are largely for the sake of publicity (witness blowhard Christie trying to look statesmanlike with the President, whom he's publicly trashed on very recent occasions).

I don't know about you, but I feel like we're living in a third-world country.

Bring a Book

Sitting on a gas line, and the word is they are actually pumping gas in front. Was here last night but they stopped before I hit the front of the line. Line was too short somehow, and seemed too good to be true. Today's line is not nearly too good to be true, and stretches blocks and blocks. Wouldn't be doing this except I have to go to work tomorrow, I had to go to work last Friday, and I had to go to a funeral last Thursday. Have been reading all about how Governor Cuomo has released millions of gallons of gas in a relief effort.

Yesterday, he sent 5,000 gallon trucks to armories around the area. This was a nice gesture, but you couldn't get your car anywhere near the one in my area. The one person I know who got there within moments of the announcement waited seven hours for ten gallons of "free"gas. Shortly thereafter, our munificent governor declared this gas was only for emergency responders--police, fire and such. I certainly don't begrudge them, but from the vantage point of this line, the Governor is not precisely my hero.

There are four major terminals that supply gas, and three are currently out of service. Somehow I haven't been seeing that on the news, but it's here. LIPA, for some reason, has not made that a priority, and does not seem to be discussing it.

I don't know how things are in your neighborhood, but mine looks like Katrina hit it. I usually kind of dress up for work, but what with my clothes in my house, and me elsewhere, I don't see that happening any time soon. I hope that is the extent of my work-related issues, and I honestly wonder how many of my students will be able to show up at all.

In any case, I just got a letter of thanks from Chancellor Walcott. I'd like to thank him. Thanks for denying us the raise you gave everyone else between 2008-2010. Thanks for holding up the crap evaluation system because you think 13% of poorly-rated teachers having fair appeal processes is too much. (That's sincere because one single teacher losing a job due to junk science is one too many.) Most of all, thanks for making me come in Friday. If you hadn't done that, I'd have enough gas to hold out another day.

No gas lines for you or Mayor Bloomberg. I guess your transport is covered by the government even though you effectively serve no one but the 1%.

Good Morning World

I just woke up in a friend's apartment. Even though there is power, I haven't got an alarm clock. I have no idea exactly what time Mayor Bloomberg wants me to report to my school to not teach. It's good I'm not teaching because the only clothes I have are jeans, t-shirts and hoodies. Our town is supposed to get power tomorrow so I may be able to do better by Monday.

But we can't turn the power on until we change the circuit breakers, which got wet. Apparently there's a risk of the house blowing up if you do that. While I'm sure teacher homes blowing up is fine with Mayor Bloomberg, I have to send my wife and daughter to make sure those circuits get changed. It's complicated because everyone who can do this job is pretty busy, but we know someone who's promised to show at ten AM.

Whatever Mayor Bloomberg has in mind today, I will be glued to my cell phone. I don't give a damn about PD and I don't care what it's about.

The other issue, of course, is gas. In my town there is a gas station that has it, but it will take you over two hours to get it. I was able to get a colleague to carpool next week, when we actually have to do something, but she can't make it today, what with no electricity and pressing issues that need her attention.

I have seen the form to ask they don't take days out of your CAR. Pardon me if I have zero faith in the tender mercies of Walcott and Bloomberg, who reject virtually 100% of U-rating appeals, and are outraged that 13% of poorly rated teachers will get fair hearings in the next contract. Oddly, I'm outraged that 87% will not.

In any case, like most teachers, I doubt either of those guys would spit on me if I were on fire. Asking us to come in today was a vindictive and juvenile act from people who have no business in education. In Spanish, being educated implies having good manners. There's a saying, "Tiene doctorado pero no es educado." He has a doctorate but he isn't educated.

These guys don't even have doctorates. On behalf of my 80,000 union brothers and sisters, thanks for nothing, Mayor Bloomberg.

Update: Walcott sent an email at 12:52 AM stating that staff should report at 10 AM.  The lack of consideration and decency this entails is staggering. 80,000 people are getting ready to go to work, and he, apparently, expects them to check their DOE email before doing so.