Andy and Sandy

I live about two blocks away from the water, which is nice, except when it comes to visit you. During Hurricane Sandy, it did that in a big way. My living room, kitchen and dining room were full of water. However, I had flood insurance, and it actually paid us to fix the house.

So when I got an application from NY Rising last April, I didn't bother to fill it out. After all, my house was fixed. We have new floors, new walls, new paint, and I went crazy and replaced the ceiling too, adding lights and all sorts of cool things. We even replaced my framed picture of Boris and Natasha with something that more resembles art.

Like everyone around here, we hope that we won't get another Sandy. One way to minimize damage in areas like ours is to raise your house up. When we first moved here there was a federal program that paid for maybe 70% of that, but given we were flat broke, laying out 30K was out of the question. Now the feds pay 30K max, so we'd have to lay out at least 70K. Kind of pricy to fix something for which you're insured.

But lo and behold, Governor Andy came to my town and announced that he had 300 million dollars to raise homes. Now before he was paying only to raise homes that were required to be raised. But now, he was paying to raise homes like mine that faced no such requirement. This sounded like a great idea.

But when I called NY Rising, it turned out I wasn't eligible. Stupid me, not applying for money I didn't need to fix my home that was already fixed. You see, in Andrew Cuomo's world you need to apply in April in order to be eligible for programs he announces in July. How reckless of me to not ask for money I didn't need. What a galoot I was to pay insurance premiums for 20 years rather than just sit around and hope for the best.

But I guess Governor Cuomo gets what he wants. He can be a big hero with our tax money and roll out a program that doesn't help many of those of us who need it. Rob Astorino criticized Cuomo for waiting until election time to help people, but actually Governor Cuomo's helping as few people as he possibly can.

Because every cent he fritters away on helping flood victims is one less cent to devote to lowering the tax bills of Mike Bloomberg, Cathie Black, Campbell Brown, Eva Moskowitz, and all the other people who know how to appreciate every darn cent they can get.

Chancellor, Bloomberg-Style

I'm surprised at how many people are shocked at NYC Schools Chancellor Walcott's sales presentation to principals last Saturday. It's encouraging, of course, that the principals gave him such a cool reception. After a decade of crap that never works, it's good to see that even administrators are not buying it. Bloggers I read regularly are shocked that he resorted to being outright political.

Yet it's one of Walcott's primary duties to fight for and defend crap that doesn't work. As long as Rupert Murdoch can squeeze a few extra millions out of it, whether or not it works is of no consequence. The important thing is to keep tossing out untested and unproven mandates and hope for the best. The best, of course, means Mayor Mike gets to fire as many teachers as possible, close as many schools as possible, and have Eva Moskowitz and her minions take over as many buildings as possible. Every dollar paid to a unionized teacher is a dollar that hedge-fund magnates may not get their grubby little hands on.

The NYC Chancellor, since the advent of Michael Bloomberg and mayoral control, is not at all the same position it once was. Ostensibly, the chancellor is supposed to be a voice for public school children. But now, the chancellor serves at the pleasure of the billionaire mayor, whose pleasure is closing neighborhood schools. undermining others by siphoning high-performing kids to charters, and thus creating a domino effect.

When Democrats stand up and say it's time to stop closing public schools, it's time to respect parents and teachers, and it's time to stop enacting insane policies that help no one who isn't already a billionaire, that threatens Bloomberg's legacy. It cannot be tolerated.

Thus, Walcott must be trotted out to proclaim how successful the mayor's policies are. That's his prime directive. He follows in the footsteps of previous non-educators Cathie Black and Joel Klein. Since none of them know anything at all about what it means to be a teacher, they can spout whatever they're told and not worry about how utterly inaccurate it is.

I certainly hope we get a mayor who isn't insane soon. It doesn't seem like a lot to ask, but it's been a long, long time with Emperor Mike, and who knows whether or not he'll change the law again to buy a new term for him and best bud Christine Quinn? But it's time for a new mayor. And it's time for a new chancellor who really has the interests of children at heart.

And if that mayor wants to know what children need, there are a whole lot of parents and teachers who can fill in the details.

Was Cathie Black a Victim of Sexism?

With the release of the Cathie Black emails, I'm reading a lot of speculation on how attacks against her were sexist. After all, she is a woman. We didn't know a whole lot more about her at the time of her nomination, other than the fact she had virtually no educational experience, a big plus for Mayor Bloombucks, who apparently met her at the Rich Folks Galas they sipped champagne at.

And yet, many spoke of what a brilliant choice it was at the time. Well, hindsight is 20/20, and even the NY Post, which initially adored her, has pretty much come around to saying what those of us who were not insane were saying at the time. So were we sexist?

Well, she did come across as a blithering ignoramus. However, that's not entirely her fault. After all, she knew nothing whatsoever about the job she'd taken. So why was anyone surprised when she looked like a deer in the headlights or blurted out inanities? It was very much to be expected.

And yet, Joel Klein did not have similar issues. Sure, he knew nothing about education. Sure, he made many an inane utterance. And yet, the papers loved him. He blathered on about theories that had no basis in reality, about untested notions, about things that had never worked anywhere, and the city editorial boards said, yeah, Joel, go for it!

Nonetheless, anyone reading this blog at the time saw stories of how nonsensical and ridiculous his ideas were. Anyone reading Leonie Haimson or Diane Ravitch read much the same.

So I'm going to say yes, Clueless Cathie was indeed a victim of sexism. When she suggested birth control as a means to reduce class size, there was outrage at the abject stupidity of the comment. Yet when Joel Klein said much the same thing, I don't think I heard about it--until some blogger somewhere pointed out he'd said the same thing Black did.

The papers were sexist in going after her but not Klein. Klein, you'll recall, was on board to praise Mayor Mike for the miraculous boost in NYS test scores, the ones Bloomberg based his third term on. Diane Ravitch examined them next to the NAEP scores and determined the state scores must have been dumbed down. Just a year later, the papers discovered Ravitch's claims to be correct.

So there is some sexism there. Klein was clearly as incompetent and clueless as Black, but has never really been nailed for it in the press. And make no mistake, if there is any sexism, it comes from the press.

I don't feel all that sorry for Cathie Black. But I wonder, is it easier to be a blitheringly incompetent man than a blitheringly incompetent woman in the United States nowadays?

What's With Mayor Mike?

Mayor4Life is shooting his mouth off again, saying he won't accept any evaluation system that doesn't hold teachers' feet to the fire. He also says he wants all teacher evaluation reports released to the public, despite a law that specifically precludes that. (Ironically, Mayor Mike is currently applying to the Supreme Court to make sure his correspondence with failed Chancellor Cathie Black is not made public. After all, accountability is for the little people.)

The interesting point, though, is that his combativeness does not actually indicate a sincere desire to rate teachers. Were that the case, he wouldn't be using hit and miss nonsensical junk science like VAM. Sure, a new evaluation system will render tenure meaningless and allow Mayor Mike to fire a whole lot more teachers, but that probably isn't enough. After all, while the wheel of VAM could certainly pick off a loudmouth like me, it could easily hit E4E teachers, all two dozen of whom are liable to go out and speak up for this nonsense.

More importantly, the UFT will be able to demand fair hearings for 13% of poorly rated teachers. I hear that sticks in his craw. Mayor Mike likes this system, where anyone he says is no good stays no good.

Mayor Mike, therefore, will have a harder time firing simply anyone he likes for any or no reason. This grieves him deeply. Oddly, I worry much more about the 87% of teachers who won't get fair hearings. They are screwed. It will be on them, at 3020a hearings, to somehow prove they are not incompetent. I have no idea how anyone does that. As things are now, the DOE needs to establish incompetence. You are innocent until proven guilty.

Under the new system, you will be guilty until proven innocent. Does that sound un-American? It does to me.

I hope Mayor Mike continues his hissy-fit indefinitely. The new system will not be good for working teachers, and I could not advise my students to pursue a career in which they'd be judged by junk science. Of course, teachers and unions will be blamed for the lack of agreement, and the New York Post has already began saying it's our fault there isn't one yet.

I wish they were right, but as usual, they aren't.

Forgotten, but Not Gone

Cathie Black has finally made her stamp on NYC schools. Ms. Black famously asked, when presented with evidence of chronic and systematic overcrowding, why we couldn't have just a little more birth control. Now, it appears, Mayor4Life is making her idea a matter of law. We must have sex education classes in city schools, and that's pretty much it.

After all, with class sizes the highest in the state already, years of failure to reduce class sizes, and a history of taking hundreds of millions for class size reduction yet achieving the opposite, it's a tough row to hoe. So Mayor Blooomberg is taking the long-term view, from hoe to eternity if you will, and hoping that eventually this results in fewer students.

And if it does not, well, what's the dif? By the time our kids have kids, Mayor Mike will perhaps have abdicated and there'll be some other poor fool to take the rap. Even better, Mayor Mike could look at the whole situation and say, "It's those darn teachers. We asked them to teach kids not to have sex, and look, kids are having sex anyway." It's a win-win, in Tweedspeak.

So sure, Cathie Black didn't last. She was even more preposterous a figure than most of Mayor Mike's education people, and after a while not even the New York Post could pretend to take her seriously. Still, who would've thunk, all these months later, that her single most offensive piece of advice would be the one that drove the mayor, even all these months later?

The Gift that Kept Giving

Cathie Black, after all the hoopla, has packed it in. It seemed a simple question of just how long Emperor Bloomberg could pretend she had the remotest notion of what the job entailed, and Joel Klein kept spinning pretty much until the last instant. But finally, Cathie Black has gone back to do whatever it is she does when not ostensibly running the largest school system in the country.

Deputy Mayor Dennis Walcott will be filling her shoes, or more likely bringing in his own. Those who followed Ms. Black's abbreviated speaking tours will recall that Walcott was there to answer the questions she found too tough (read--all of them.) Ms. Black had innovative approaches to overcrowding--like birth control. This was not warmly received by New Yorkers for some reason. I've no doubt such talk made her a hoot on the party circuit frequented by billionaires like Bloomberg, and I can imagine her with a lampshade over her head amusing the mayor. Alas, such abilities did not translate into popularity, and hers was in the toilet for some time before they threw in the towel.

I can't imagine Walcott making juvenile sarcastic noises when presiding over the rubber stamp PEP. Too bad. It really made this exercise in absolute power appear to be what it really was. Walcott has some very good qualities. He's a product of NYC public schools, and sent his kids to them too.

Sadly, he's a former teacher, and holds two master's degrees, so his appointment is not nearly so preposterous as that of Ms. Black, who came from nowhere and went right back. I don't expect ridiculous outbursts on a regular basis, and I doubt he will hole up so reporters can't speak to him. Alas, qualified as he is, he works for Mayor Bloomberg, and has therefore supported his ineffectual and destructive policies. Bloomberg broaches no differences of opinion, since he knows everything. So you can expect more of the same pointless nonsense as we move on.

On the bright side, this is another huge failure for Mayor Bloomberg, who's been caught in a perpetual snowstorm ever since he had his private jet return from whatever exotic locale he goes to when he wishes to avoid the weather we lowly New Yorkers endure as a matter of course.

No one will forget Cathie Black's idiotic utterance about there being many "Sophie's Choices" in education. But neither will they forget that the woman who said it was Mayor Mike's choice. His downward spiral continues unabated, and all his makeup choices and million-dollar ad campaigns are doing little to change it. If anyone remembers him as the education mayor, it will be only for the remarkable amount of time and money he spent accomplishing nothing.

Or perhaps even less than nothing.

Getting to Know You

It's encouraging, on rare occasions, to see major media face reality straight-on. While upstart GothamSchools lingers behind the curve, pushing blather from union-busting billionaire shills, Daily News columnist Michael Daly steps up to highlight the hypocrisy of Emperor Mike lecturing demonstrators about democracy. Having attended numerous hearings, I'm very encouraged to see such a mainstream voice describing them to a wide audience.

I've seen criticism of Mulgrew's remarks comparing Bloomberg to Egypt's Mubarak.  Actually, he was far from the first to make that comparison. Speaker after speaker said it. And sitting there, with what purported to be a panel  (though filled with Bloomberg appointees), one could certainly mistake if for a democratic process. However, if you know that Bloomberg controls the majority and fires anyone who disagrees with him, it's tough to sustain that illusion. Daly writes:

...the folks in that auditorium at Brooklyn Tech had no more real voice than the folks in Egypt.
Schools Chancellor Cathie Black and the ruling majority of the panel on stage are mayoral puppets. They hardly even pretended that whatever the people in the auditorium had to say made much difference.

"Not one person on the panel was actually listening," said Charm Rhoomes, who was there Thursday night as the mother of a student at Jamaica High School and the president of its PTA. "Even Cathie Black. She was on her BlackBerry."

Anyone who's attended these meetings knows the score. There's little immediate practicality in getting up to speak, as you'll certainly be ignored. That's why it's tough to discount the frustration in the crowd manifesting itself in chanting and loud criticism. I'm open to better ways of getting through to the likes of socialite Cathie Black, (whose behavior, it must be said, has been snide and unprofessional, whose contempt for the people whose children attend public schools is palpable).  I haven't got any, though.

I'd planned to go to the demonstration and go home, as it broke my heart to see the school closings, but a UFT contact alerted me to the walkout and persuaded me to stay later. At first blush, the UFT walkout seemed a good idea, showing we knew the futility of staying. I'm now getting messages we should have stayed all night, disrupting the meeting to the point where they could not have voted. Would delaying the meeting a week have really prevented the vote? If so, how? Wouldn't they have simply taken the vote at another venue? It's worth examining. Certainly playing by Bloomberg's rules hasn't benefited schools like Jamaica, blatantly closed on false premises.

Frankly, as someone who gets up at 5 AM to go to work, the notion of staying all night holds little appeal for me. Perhaps that's part of the DOE's plan--wear out the public and then do their dirty work in peace. Last year they stayed until the wee hours of the morning, waiting out most of the crowd. The main difference this year was most of their critics left earlier.

One important thing is what we agree on, and what many are finally, finally, beginning to see--that the dictatorial reign of Mayor4Life Bloomberg is an outright affront to democracy. That's our common ground, and that's what we build on.

The question is simple--what's the best way to do it?

The Party's Over

Cathie Black and Mayor Bloomberg's rubber stampers at the PEP met with a raucous welcome last night at Brooklyn Tech. Amidst cries of "Black must go," "Bloomberg must go," and other chants of an even less complimentary nature the fake school board went about its business of pretending there were decisions to make. Of course, everyone in the auditorium knew all the decisions had been made long ago, just as everyone knew at Deputy Chancellor John White's phony hearing at Jamaica a few weeks ago.

The first speaker was an unforgettable Tony Avella, the NY State Senator elected with the UFT's help. Tony was the only Democrat in the state to beat a sitting Republican, and he asked why on earth a hearing over Jamaica High School's future would be in Brooklyn rather than Queens. Of course it was to keep the community out, as they're always raising nasty objections about their neighborhood being decimated---not to mention other things Cathie Black and Michael Bloomberg don't wish to be bothered with.

I've no doubt Cathie Black's snappy remarks about birth control or Nazis murdering children go over very well at ritzy cocktail parties.  Doubtless she's shocked that public school parents, the ones who don't get invited to fetes in Park Avenue penthouses, don't seem to find them that funny. And the juvenile "Ooooohhhh" with which she greeted their concerns about the future of their children the other night did not go over that well either.

I walked out, along with most of the crowd, reluctant to watch the Mayor Bloomberg's odious and utterly undemocratic PEP do their rubber stamp thing. What on earth was NYC thinking when it determined the best thing for the future of its children was to turn it over to the richest man in New York City, so that he could do whatever the hell he felt like with them?

Here's the thing--I've never seen anger like this before, even at these meetings. It's palpable. Several speakers made references to Egypt, rising up against tyranny. Mayoral dictatorship is a bad policy and must end. And absolutely everyone at the meeting last night could see that New York City has had just about enough of it. Those feelings aren't going away, and neither are any of the people who took their time to show Ms. Black she's not in her penthouse anymore.

Hello New York,

I'm NYC Schools Chancellor Cathie Black. After careful examination of the overcrowding problem, Mayor Bloomberg and I have come up with an innovative solution. As you know, many people have criticized me for having no background in education, for not having an advanced degree, for not having attended public schools, for not having sent my own kids to public schools, and some have even tried to block my appointment because of all this nonsense. What they don't understand is that I'm a problem solver. Along with Mayor Bloomberg, we've worked this whole thing out.

In fact, there is no overcrowding problem. We've got more than enough facilities to accommodate a reasonable amount of schoolchildren. The problem is that too many of you are having children, and all too frequently at that. We are, therefore, rolling out a multi-step program to deal with this. First, we will make condoms available free of charge for all public school parents. We will have training films available on the internet that will show you how to use them. Honestly, people who would irresponsibly overburden public schools with their prodigious offspring should not be having unprotected sex. It's simply irresponsible.

But that's only a first step. Mayor Bloomberg and I will be introducing legislation introducing financial penalties for people who have more than one child. Naturally we will exempt those who can afford private schools. Nonetheless, it's simply irresponsible to saddle society with all these additional expenses. Sure, there are those who think taxing the rich is the solution to every problem, but there will be no new taxes in NYC. They would hurt business, and wealthy New Yorkers should not bear the brunt of those who choose to fornicate irresponsibly.

Should these measures prove ineffective, we will explore the Sophie's Choice option. Now a lot of naysayers will complain this measure is extreme. However, it will only be utilized in the case of parents who fail to follow the first two options. And, of course, it will not apply to those of us in the top 2% income level. We've suffered enough already, and along with Mayor Bloomberg, I'm working to ease our pain. In any case, any parent, with any income, who wishes to avoid that measure, or indeed any of the above measures, can simply pay private school tuition.

And we're not simply passing this unilaterally. We're going to fully utilize the process set out in the governance measures that are sometimes misleadingly referred to as "mayoral control."  We will first propose this plan to the Panel for Educational Policy, where the Mayor has only 8 of the 13 votes. The 5 votes that don't belong to the mayor are free to vote however they like.  We will also have a public hearing and give everyone 2 minutes to express their opinions. Like we do with school closings, it's our practice to let the public say whatever they want before we do whatever we want. In New York City, we call that democracy.

What could be fairer than that?

Dear Cathie Black,

After only several days on the job, I've gotten to see the real you--a person with a quick and ready sense of humor. I mean, who else would've thought to solve the overcrowding problem via birth control? There's some out-of-the-box thinking! And then there's that crack about many "Sophie's choices." How many people would consider likening public school options to those of a mom who had to sacrifice one of her children to the Nazis?

Not only that, but you sent 1.1 million kids to school on a day when every other area school and private school closed. Your boss told everyone to stay off the roads, but you had no problem making 80,000 teachers come in. Boy, what irony. Finally, after everyone figured you could never outdo that last thing, after asking all of them to come in, you canceled your own school visit.

Anyway, after reading all that, I was sure you'd enjoy this. An entire box of stink bombs for only $7.99. You could come to schools, set them off soon after your arrival, and avoid all those nasty questions from those uppity teachers, parents and students. And think of all the hilarity that would ensue! You could accuse the teachers' union of setting off all those stink bombs and get the tabloids to write editorials in your support.

It would be yet another win-win for the visionary leadership of New York City schools.

Cathie Black In--Bloomberg Asks New Yorkers to Shut Up and Enjoy It

From NY1 on Twitter:

Just In: State Supreme Court Upholds Appointment Of Cathie Black As New Schools Chancellor
half a minute ago via NY1headlines

Thanks to Queens Teacher 

Update: Story is now here. Money quote from Mayor4life Bloomberg:

"This decision should bring an end to the politicking and grandstanding and allow us all to focus on what matters most: continuing to improve the quality of education we offer New York City’s public school children..."

No doubt he'll give those 1.1 million schoolchildren the same attention he gave the snow around their homes.

Geoffrey Canada Not Alone

NYC Educator can now report that Mayor Michael Bloomberg offered the Chancellorship not only to charter school mogul Geoffrey Canada and publishing executive Cathie Black, but also to billionaire industrialist Smellington G. Worthington III.

"I say, what's the fuss?" asked Worthington, while lounging at his club. "Mikey offered it to me first. Cathie says he offered it to her first, but she's clearly mistaken. What Mikey probably meant was that he was offering it to her for the first time, perhaps after offering it to Geoffrey and me for the first time."

Worthington insisted he was the most qualified for the job, and that he would've expanded on the legacy of Joel Klein.  "For the love of Smedley, we have people working at Wal-Mart for minimum wage. Why on earth can't also they train the little urchins to do such things, fold clothes, clean floors, or whatever they do at such establishments? Whitney Tilson encouraged me to invest in Wal-Mart and we've made a tidy little bundle. Why shouldn't we turn the efforts of the rabble toward increasing our profits?"

Worthington said he envisioned a working partnership that would not only bring Wal-Mart to NYC, but also create space for overextended public schools. He said his personal relationship with the Walton family would help facilitate the partnership, and that he'd be willing to finance whatever it took to crush opposition to Wal-Mart in the city.

So why didn't he take the job? "Quite frankly, the salary was abysmal," confided Worthington. He claimed he'd be better able to realize his reforms from his current position. "Confidentially, I don't want to spend too much time with the bootless and unhorsed. Who knows what sort of vermin might be following them? That's why I told Cathie at a party how brave she was to take on such a task. Egads it's bold."

Worthington spoke enthusiastically of his new Facebook page. "I think we will convince the masses that the billionaire point of view is what needs to prevail. We've finally persuaded that Obama chap to give up on removing the tax cuts for people like us. Why can't we persuade the rabble that money is better in the hands of those of us who know what to do with it?"

We asked Worthington why regular people shouldn't get money, but he nodded to several burly-looking fellows in the corner, who then picked us up and tossed us out into the street. We considered a lawsuit, but upon examination of the release we'd signed to get the interview, we noticed we'd given up all rights to pursue any such actions.

"We win again!" shouted Worthington from a window, as we dusted ourselves off and hobbled down the street.

Blah Blah Black Sheep

Well, Cathie Black's been let out of her cage after a good two weeks of Sarah Palinizing and what insights has she gleaned in the hour or two she spent in public schools?  Looks like she's fixing to fire teachers.  There's no better way, apparently, to help city children than by firing their teachers.  Arne Duncan and Bill Gates have determined larger class sizes are the way to go, and Cathie is gonna help them get their wish.

Now when Cathie fires teachers, which she has already determined to do, the way she wants to do it is Mike Bloomberg's way, however the hell she feels like it.  That's why she wants to get rid of last in first out.  You see, teachers with no experience have a lot of enthusiasm and she doesn't want to lose them.  Perhaps, in that case, it would be better not to fire them. But Cathie doesn't think like that.

Since she's already determined to fire people, why not go after the older and higher-paid teachers? That would put a bigger dent in the bottom line. And then she wouldn't have to bother with any of that nasty due process in that inconvenient tenure law. Oh, she wants to get rid of that, too. Perish forbid any American worker should have job security. We'd all be better off if people like Cathie Black could fire us whenever the mood struck them, for any reason whatsoever or for no reason at all.

I don't know about you, but it seems to me that job security becomes more important as you get older. When I started teaching I wasn't married, didn't have kids, and lived in a hovel of a rented apartment. I'm not complaining, but it was a lot easier to lose my job under those circumstances. If they want to get rid of me now, it ought to be for a reason other than the inconvenience of paying my salary. There is a process for getting rid of teachers, and it's not my fault Joel Klein spent years trying to get rid of teachers who gave away watches or used DOE fax machines, making a mockery of the system and failing miserably in his efforts.

But Cathie Black agrees with everything Joel Klein did.  That's fine with me.  Let her go after teachers for nonsense. There's a reason teachers need tenure, and that's to protect us from demagogues like Cathie Black, who get into education for two weeks and have the audacity to behave as though they're experts.

I wouldn't want her teaching my kid.  Fortunately, she isn't licensed to teach, and they aren't yet handing out waivers for that.

Cathie Speaks

First, I'd like to thank you for giving me the opportunity to reach out to your audience.  Now I know a lot of you think I was born with a silver spoon, but that's not true.  I've been working for 40 years and I really know what life is like for a typical person nowadays.   Also, during a recent visit to a public school, I learned that public school children are human beings. This resonated with me. The fact is I've been working with human beings fairly regularly in my publishing business.  Writers are human beings.  Staff is human beings.  Sure, adult humans are larger than younger ones, but they're all human.

And it's not like I'm a stranger to what city parents go through.  I mean, sure, I wouldn't send my kids to public schools, because, face it, who really wants 40 kids in a class, and how the hell are you supposed to get any work done with kids living in the house?  For just 45K you could send a kid to boarding school like Kent and be done with it.The point is I haven't had it easy. I've had to take second and third jobs, and I'm no stranger to doing extra things.  I only get about half a million a year for sitting on these boards, but the important thing is I'm able to help people.  I got Dougie Daft an extra 36 million, and Steve Heyer 24 million.  As chancellor, I'll be able to get folks like Dougie and Steve many more millions, not an easy thing in these tough economic times.

And please, don't lecture me about sacrifice.  I just had to sell one of my homes for 1.98 million, and really, it was well worth the 2.35 asking price.  And now I'm down to my Park Avenue penthouse and the place in the Hamptons.  Mike says most public school parents don't have more than two homes, and now I can relate to that sort of life.

And I'm sorry, but these are tough economic times, and they call for sacrifice.  Sure I'll have to fire teachers.  Sure class sizes will go up.  But really, how about growing up?  I took a big loss on that Connecticut home and you don't see me whining about it. And the Kent School is still taking applications, so stop whining about public schools and fill one out if that's what you want.

So let's just go forward together.  You can complain all you want, but Mayor Bloomberg has more money than anyone else in the city, and he's shown the willingness to do whatever he wants no matter what anyone else says.  With all due respect, anyone who disagrees can try to amass more money than he has or shut your mouth.

I hope that didn't come off the wrong way.  Remember, after an extensive search, it was my penthouse Mayor Bloomberg walked across the street to visit.

The Chancellor and Her Guide

"Now remember Cathie, you're in and out of there in thirty minutes. If anyone asks you a question, say you're looking at things, but with all the commotion, you haven't had time to make a decision..."

"OK.  I can't wait to get in.  I've never been to a public school before.  I was at a party last night and my friends said I was brave to take the job and come to places like this.  It's just every now and them, right?  Listen, can we stop in the gift shop first?  I really need to get some Blistex."

"They don't have a gift shop Cathie."

"Well, do they have a Starbucks?  Maybe if I could get a latte..."

"No, listen, just go around and talk to people.  Try to smile.  Act like you're having a good time. And if the kids talk to you, for goodness sakes, pretend they're saying something interesting.  There are gonna be a lot of photographers here..."

"Did they close the Starbucks because of the budget cuts?  Couldn't they manage to turn a profit?"

"Cathie, wave to those people.  A lot of the kids here get free lunch.  They aren't going to..."

"Well, for goodness sake, no wonder the Starbucks went out of business.  We've got to put an end to this free lunch nonsense!  Why would they patronize the company if they get free lunch?  If we could get a Starbucks in here the place could turn a profit, for Chrissake..."

"Listen Cathie, this is the library.  Someone will give you a book and you read it to the kids.  Act like it interests you...."

"OK, but jeez this system is gonna be a lot of work.  What about the principal?  Do I really have to talk to her?"

"Well, just a little.  But don't worry.  No principal in New York City is gonna have one cross word to say about you."

"Tell the driver not to garage the limo.  And I don't want him out of the car for one moment.  Tell him to circle the block till we're ready to get out of this hellhole."

"Sure thing, Cathie.  Smile and wave, then smile and wave some more.  We'll be outta here in no time."

Steiner Speaks

After chasing NY State Education Commissioner David Steiner for over a week, our intrepid reporters were able to corner him in an alley.  Steiner, seeing no alternative, spoke to us about his decision to grant a waiver to publishing executive Cathie Black.

Why did you decide to appoint Ms. Black?

Well, it was a number of things.  Mostly, Michael Bloomberg is the richest guy in New York.  He could well be President in 2012.  Let me tell you something, jobs are tough to find in this economy and I'm keeping mine.  I'm not going back to some university and getting a job at my age.  I'm in my 50s and I've got to start thinking about retirement.  There's no way I'm moving to some two-bedroom in Queens, like some teacher or something.

But the panel you selected voted to reject her.

That's not entirely true.  Only 4 voted for rejection.  2 voted for the waiver.  And 2 voted "not at this time."  In fact, I decided to give the waiver a few days later, which was not at that time.  It was a different time.  If you look at it that way, a majority of the panel voted for the waiver.  Sure, some wanted it at another time, so that's when I gave it to them.


She has no educational experience.

Are you kidding me?  Do you really think Michael Bloomberg, or anyone, cares about education?  The fact is there's an awful lot of money to be managed here.  And much of it goes to pay the salaries of teachers.  Now some teachers, older teachers, make a lot more money than younger teachers.  Someone has to change that, and who better than someone who really knows how to fire people?  Once we get rid of this last in, first out nonsense, Cathie Black will be able to fire anyone she wants.  Meanwhile, we'll just put highly paid teachers in classes with kids who don't do well, and use the new evaluation system to dump them all.

But didn't you say you're concerned about being in your 50s and getting a job?  What about teachers in that position?

Hey, do I look like a teacher?  Am I a union president?  Give me a break.  I'm looking out for number one, and it's not my fault that Bloomberg and Obama treat teachers like number two.  If you want to fix that, it's on you guys.  Look, I wish the panel had voted to grant the waiver straight out.  Then I wouldn't have people like you pestering me and lunatics demonstrating outside my house.  But you gotta play with the hand you're dealt.   My ass is on the line here.


So there was no way Cathie Black was going to be rejected once Michael Bloomberg selected her?

Get with the program, pal.  Joel Klein did whatever Bloomberg said for the last nine years and now he's got a cushy gig with Rupert Murdoch.  If I want to land a sweet deal like that, I have to play the game.  Do you think I want to be a teacher or something?  Let me tell you something---I want a job with a future.  Bloomberg has Oprah, Obama, Gates, and every editorial board in the country behind him.  He's got Whoopie Goldberg, I heard,  They want non-union charters, no contracts, and the right to pay whatever they want.  You're all free to get in line and hope for the best.  Otherwise, you're gonna have to stop supporting mayoral control and selling all your rights away for every new contract.  You think it's an accident that Bloomberg gave everyone a contract except the teachers?

Mr. Steiner, we understand you were born in New Jersey.

No comment.

At this point, Steiner darted his eyes, hopped a fence, and scurried away.

New Schools Chancellor to Learn on the Job

In case you haven't heard, Commisioner Steiner, against the votes of his hand-picked panel, has decided to grant Cathie Black a waiver and will do so on Monday.  Because she has no qualifications whatsoever, Broad-trained Shael Polakow-Suransky will be her second-in-command.

This way, despite never having attended a public school, despite having rejected them for her children, despite never having shown interest in public education, despite being on the board for a charter but never having shown for a meeting, Cathie Black can experiment with 1.1 million schoolchildren in the largest district in the country.  Nonetheless, she already knows how to fire people, which is all that matters to Mayor Mike.

The fact that New Yorkers oppose this means nothing to Steiner as Mayor Bloomberg thinks it's a good idea, and he has more money than anyone else in the city.  Governor-elect Cuomo, taking a firm stand against democracy, says "Mayoral control means just that."

No one in the state or city government, apparently, gives a hoot what voters think.   What's your take on this move?  What should we do about it?

Meet the Bloomberg/ Black Panel

Our crack staff had the opportunity to interview the panel selected by Education Commissioner David Steiner to advise on the nomination of Cathie Black for NYC Schools Chancellor.  Three of its members have worked for Chancellor Klein, so they understand exactly what Mayor Bloomberg's priorities are.

Susan H. Furman, President of Teachers College and chair of the panel, confided, "It's pretty much we sit around for a few hours, maybe a day, and then do whatever Bloomberg says.  In today's world, educational experience is an utter waste of time.  Fact is my entire life's work has been a waste, and anyone who pays our tuition is nuts.  But you should see the spread they're giving us for lunch. You think we eat like this at Teachers College? In corporate America this is par for the course. Anyway, what do we know about firing people?"

We went for further comment to Jean-Claude Brizard, former aide to Chancellor Klein, who told us, "Honestly, what the hell do academics know?  It would be more practical to appoint someone from Clown College.  They have training.  I've seen them fit a dozen clowns in a VW bug.  Once Bloomberg cuts 6,100 teachers, you're gonna have 50 kids in a class and what, do you think some teacher will know how they're gonna fit? I worked for Klein a long time and appointing Cathie Black is no worse than anything else I did when I had that gig."

Ronald F. Ferguson chimed in, "Look, Klein's been there for years, and the achievement gap has only gotten worse.  We need someone who can really juke the stats, so it appears we're actually accomplishing something.  In my heart, I believe Cathie Black is the best person for the job.  After all, she's spent a lot of time trying to sell unhealthy soft drinks to kids, and has no problem doing business with sleazy exploitative companies.  We really need a ruthless businessperson unencumbered by ethics to make it look like we're doing something for these kids, and only the teachers are failing them."

Michelle Cahill commented, "I know which side my bread is buttered on.  And it's high time they asked me what I thought.  Those bastards denied me my chance to be Deputy Chancellor, and now I'm gonna show them that anyone, absolutely anyone, can run a school system, even Cathie Black.  She's way less qualified than I was.  Jeez, I actually taught for years before I wised up.  By the time we fix this thing, a drawbridge oiler will be able to be chancellor.  And it's very important we continue Joel Klein's policy of blaming unionized teachers for everything and taking responsibility for nothing whatsoever.  I'm certain Cathie Black can do that, at least.  I worked for Klein and was on the Tweed gravy train for years, leading to the cushy gig I hold now, but that will in no way influence my decision. I assure you my decision will be based solely on how pissed off I am about having been passed over."

Kenneth G. Slentz said, "Let's face it, I work for Commisioner Steiner.  He needs political cover.  If we recommend Black for the job, he's off the hook.  The important thing is that he never be blamed for hiring this person, and I'm certain once we sit around and act like we've been deliberating, everyone will believe we actually gave it some thought rather than simply caving to the whims of a billionaire media mogul.  Everyone knows that Michael Bloomberg gets whatever he wants.  I mean, the guy took a billion dollars to reduce class sizes and didn't do it.  He ran for mayor and bought himself a third term, even though voters had twice said two terms was the limit.  He could be President in 2012. Do you think Steiner wants to stand up to a guy like that?  No way, Jose."

As panel members retreated to the dining room for a gala luncheon, UFT President Michael Mulgrew observed, "All of these people have heavy-duty backgrounds and success in education, so obviously David Steiner is clearly looking at this from the educational side, as he should be.”

Steiner himself had no comment, though he nodded emphatically at Mulgrew's statement.

It's Party Time!

I went to the Gotham Schools party night before last.  There were some really interesting people there.  I got to speak to several prominent charter school enthusiasts and not one threw a chair at me.  In that spirit, I didn't throw chairs at them either.  I saw Norm Scott there, who'd actually hugged Joel Klein  the previous evening (the things we go through to get people to read blogs).  Several teacher acquaintances of mine advised him to get in the shower and wash his whole body with Brillo pads, but he declined.

Jose Vilson, writer of The Jose Vilson, did not show up.  Nor did Diane Ravitch.  Doug Lemov was there, though, and regaled us with tales of model teaching from his book.  He had video of a teacher showing kids how to pass out papers, and explained that passing out papers this way took only one minute.  He claimed it usually took five (Really?), and that this method saved four minutes a day, 20 a week, 80 a month, and 800 a year, or something like that, providing over a full day of extra instructional time.  I save even more time by not passing out papers every day.  I make booklets of two-sided copies well in advance and have kids bring them daily.  But I'm just a public school teacher, so what could I possibly know?

Lemov then showed us a classroom in which a young woman had a routine to move her kids from one section of her classroom, where they had desks, to another, where they sat on the floor.  The students chanted an educational song as they moved, and got very efficiently from one side to the other.  Personally, I was amazed they had all that space, as I have never, ever had two places to teach.  (I count myself lucky when I have one.)  Lemov proudly explained that there was no fighting or pushing. Clearly, when you eliminate all that bothersome social interaction, that is one result.  It was certainly a step up from Michelle Rhee's innovative practice of taping kids' mouths shut.  Still, I'm glad my kid wasn't in a class like that. 

The surprise guest, AFT President Randi Weingarten, then got up and asked why we couldn't all just get along.  Everyone was always vilifying everyone else and it wasn't nice, and wouldn't the world be better if everyone were nicer?  Public schools, charter schools, union teachers, non-union teachers--why can't we be one big happy family?  Doubtless Guggenheim would never have made the union-bashing propaganda film, and the hedge fund zillionaires would never have funded it if Ms. Weingarten had only confronted them with such stark and irrefutable logic beforehand.

It wasn't quite the fireworks of last year, with Diane Ravitch speaking after Joel Klein.  But I love going to places like the Gotham party, and being surrounded by people as focused on education as I am.  I love talking with smart people, even if I don't agree with them at all. Speakers notwithstanding, the guests made it a great party and each and every person reading this should have been there. 

Next year I hope they bring back Diane Ravitch.   They can always find someone to say whatever Klein would have said.  Perhaps by then Chancellor what's-her-name will be allowed out unescorted.  Maybe she can explain how putting "Children First" entails firing thousands of their teachers, even as Tweed has consistently failed to deal with rampant overcrowding or outrageous class sizes.  Perhaps when she's up to speed, she can explain what Mayor Bloomberg did with the billion dollars he took to deal with that issue.

Ms. Black Gives a Pep Talk

It's pretty clear to me the Mayor hired me to enact my business theories.  When there are layoffs, companies have to do more with less.  In New York City,  I'm poised to take over an inefficient company.  There are simply too many employees, and product is not always of the best quality.  For example, we have a lot of teachers, and their product often takes more than four years before it appears on the shelves, or what do they call it?  Graduate?

Well, under my administration, we're going to shoot toward having appealing product ready in three years.  That will cut production costs by 25%, a savings we can pass on to stockholders.  It's unacceptable to raise taxes on our high-earning stockholders like the mayor and Whitney Tilson, who keep their eye on the bottom line

Employees who wish to stay on will have to become indispensable.  Who's that person raising his hand, saying, "I'll teach that extra class," or "I'll add a dozen extra products to my workstation."  That's the sort of employee who brings value to the system, and we need to capitalize on attitudes like that.  Who will come in early and bring the principal a newspaper, a cup of coffee, or a hooker?  Who will stay after and paint that room, or fix that boiler for the sake of the company?

Second, you have to have a good attitude.  Let's dispense with all these grievances, sick days and related nonsense and get employees to get that product out.  I hear, in some schools, 50% or more of product is not getting out.  Those offices are not producing and have to be closed.  It's important to turn out as much quality product as possible, and we can't hold onto those who are gonna whine and moan, oh, the product wasn't prepared, is missing parts, or doesn't function properly.  Ask yourself, how can I get the product ready and onto the shelves, where it can be useful to consumers.  I want our product out there being used, whether it be in retail, in offices, or whatever.  I want Bill Gates to say, wow, that's a lot of product we're getting in New York City

Finally, you have to be seen.  Mayor Bloomberg is very busy, doing whatever he does in that office, and we need the employees out there showing how much they want to produce for him.  I want to read how happy they are, how they love pushing out product, how they can't wait to increase production by 18%, or whatever goal we've selected.  I want them to stop whining, "Oh, everyone else got a contract, why can't I have one?"  That's juvenile.  If you can push 40% more product, then maybe I'll give you that raise.  It's a new paradigm here, and I want to see employees first in, last out, giving everything they can so the company will produce.

Sure, people feel bad when you close down an office.  But you have to put the best face on it possible.  No one wants to see 50 empty desks.  That's why we'll move out the desks, or bring in someone who can move quality product.  Pretty soon everyone will be focused on increasing production, and we'll be pushing more product than any major city.  That's why they brought me in, and that's what I'm gonna do.

We'll do whatever it takes to get that product out there.