State of the Blog

Thank you all very much for coming.

First of all, I'd like to welcome everyone here. Let's get right down to it. On the issue of bipartisanship, we are making definite progress. Several voices from Unity Caucus have been visiting lately, and while we disagree with them, they are welcome here. Unfortunately, the sole representative from New Action has opted to take his ball and go home, and there is little we can do about that.

We continue to do battle with the evil empire, but I must report we are vastly outnumbered and massively outspent. Also the unruly space aliens with whom we battle daily continue using weapons of mass destruction to achieve their goals, and still hope for kids to act like those they've seen in their favorite movies. We will not give up, we will not relent, but it will be some time before we can expect peace and prosperity.

Now we must turn to balancing the budget, and I say to you this goal is attainable within five years, and there will be no new taxes to accomplish this. The deficit is a burden to us and future generations. First, it's 12 bucks a year to get rid of those Haloscan ads. Then, there's the added burden of the new domain name nyceducator.com, which brings the deficit up to a staggering $17.99, the largest in our history.

I'm pleased to announce that this summer I plan to get a paper route in order to ease the debt. Sometimes, in extreme situations, one must take extreme measures.

So rest assured that this blog will remain free and independent of foreign influences. God bless you all, and let's be careful out there.

Yipee-i-yo-ka-yay!

The Carnival of Education is over at The Education Wonks place this week, buckaroos and buckarettes, and if you don't wanna miss it, get yer keesters over there right now!

Just click here, and you'll be there faster'n a GOP Senator can filibuster against raising the minimum wage.

Yee-haw!

Watch What They Do...

...and ignore what they say, because their words mean nothing.

UFT President Randi Weingarten, who made no effort whatsoever to get class size reduction written into the UFT contract (which is the only thing keeping class sizes are as low as they are), is now demanding one billion dollars of the CFE lawsuit be directed toward class size reduction.

The Mayor's consistent unwillingness to contribute dime one to this settlement resulted in its reduction by two -thirds, hardly a boon for city kids. And when this mayor says he's reduced class sizes, Class Size Matters says he has not.

Ms. Weingarten also made no effort whatsoever to make the CFE settlement part of the UFT contract, resulting in two contracts that failed to meet inflation, not to mention the draconian givebacks we suffered in 05. However, the current CFE settlement, to the delight of the mayor, provides no oversight whatsoever in how the funds are spent. Governor Spitzer, who's impressed me very little during his brief tenure, is fine with that, apparently:

A spokeswoman for Gov. Eliot Spitzer said that in his budget message next week, he would propose overhauling the state’s school aid formula, greatly increasing the dollars available for city schools, and would allow school districts to use the money to reduce class size but not require it.

The spokeswoman, Christine Anderson, did not indicate precisely how much money Mr. Spitzer would direct toward city schools. In his campaign, Mr. Spitzer repeatedly promised to spend $8.5 billion more a year on needy school districts statewide, including at least $4 billion a year for New York City.

Where's that promise he made now? And does anyone who reads the papers believe that voluntary reforms are the way to go with Mike and Joel?

Ms. Weingarten is also talking tough about Chancellor Klein's tenure proposals. Again, let's see what they do. Personally, I don't believe this chancellor wants to withhold tenure. If he does, that will reduce the pool of teachers, and he might have to raise salaries to attract more of them. That goes against everything this city has stood for for thirty years.

Weingarten's comments came in an exclusive interview after Klein told the Daily News Editorial Board he would talk to the union about a pay-for-performance pilot program in high-needs schools.

"I think paying people to produce results, especially in communities where we're not seeing these results, is what we need to do to reform this system," Klein said.

Weingarten has agreed to discuss incentives for teachers to work in difficult neighborhoods or shortage areas like math and science but said using test scores to set salaries or decide tenure is like "telling an oncologist that the only way to keep your job is for your cancer patients to survive."

Ms. Weingarten is correct, of course, but it was she who created this monster by enabling mayoral control in the first place. It was she who reinforced it by pushing the draconian givebacks of the 05 contract. Ms. Weingarten does not wish to appear an old-time union boss, and looks quite contemporary when she sends her teachers out to do hall duty, and to be permanent subs, and gives them 90-day unpaid suspensions based on unsubstantiated charges.

Give me an old-time union boss any day.

In fact, give me Tony Soprano. I don't know about you, but I've had it with people who talk and talk while never accomplishing anything.

Hungry for Knowledge?

I hope so, because you're not getting lunch today.
It's not convenient to make space for you, so Mayor Mike is sending you to science lab instead.

Mayor Mike's glitzy Children First brochure does not specifically mention the effects of hunger on education. It does not mention the value of public schools built on toxic sites, or multi-million dollar boondoggles for private schools either. It fails to mention the value of forgetting to add dropouts to graduation rates.

Oddly, it neglects to mention intergalactic recruitment, the highest class sizes in the state, the lowest standard for teachers in the state, or the all-too-common practice of sweeping incidents under the rug (while maintaining a public insistence that they be reported).

It does not mention that teachers are 100% responsible for everything that happens in schools, and that neither the mayor, the chancellor, the dilapidated facilities, the home lives of kids, the weather, or hunger (in the case of science students) play any role whatsoever in performance. At least that's what Deputy Chancellor Alonso publicly proclaims.

They must have forgotten that the very best facilities the city has to offer are reserved for charters run by billionaires.

It neglects the mayor's practice of closing schools in the face of unconscionable overcrowding, or taking perfectly good buildings like the one on Livingston Street, and turning them into condos. After all, who's to say the contaminated land isn't good enough for city kids? As Barbara Bush might say, "This is working very well for them." Certainly home buyers, Dalton kids, and billionaires who run charters and build stadiums are accustomed to better.

It's Children First, Children First, and Children First if you read the smiley-face pamphlet. Unlike the mayor and the chancellor, though, I see those children each and every day. The kids aren't fooled at all.

Thanks to Schoolgal

It's Christmas in Washington

Nelnet, a student loan company, will get to keep 278 million in subsidies deemed improper. The US Department of Education has decided if it goes after this money, it may have to ask other student loan companies to return money as well.

This, they determined, would be bad, possibly driving smaller loan companies out of business. As it happens, I'm thinking of starting a student loan company myself, and I'll be writing to request a modest 278 million startup grant some time this afternoon.

In other news, President Bush wants to tax your health insurance. Well, how else are we gonna subsidize those poor student loan companies?

Memorable

One of the things I love about America is that if you are a potential customer almost everyone is nice to you. They might hate your guts and wish you dead, but face-to-face they smile and nod and talk about the weather in a neighborly cadence.

and

He was wearing a vanilla-colored jacket and a white shirt, both of which were bad choices because of his throat being slashed open.

Excerpts from Fear of the Dark by Walter Mosley

I've always been amused by the apparent class load of these fictional teachers -- They apparently have one class of twelve students per day. Well, give me that and I can teach pretty much anything to anybody.

Graycie, commenting on films about teachers. Graycie writes Today's Homework.

Fair's Fair

Mayor Bloomberg's plans include equitable funding--every kid in NYC will get X dollars and no more. The X is significant, because veteran teachers used to draw more money to schools. No more of that.

Now, it appears they'll draw the same amount of money, but principals will have to pay them twice as much. If I'm wrong about this, I'd love to be corrected, so feel free if you know something I don't. But if this is correct, guess who's joining the big ATR party?

Meanwhile, principals say it's hard to get rid of bad teachers. That's not exactly news, though.

"If you give a teacher a U, it's hard to get them out of your school," said one Manhattan middle-school principal.

"So you offer them a satisfactory rating if they'll leave. It happens all the time."

Why is it happening now that principals no longer need to accept transfers? Is it our fault if they choose to lie to one another?

I don't have a problem with denying tenure to incompetent teachers. I don't have a problem with declining to hire them in the first place.

But neither I nor the UFT has any say whatsoever in who gets hired or who gets tenure. It's odd how that fact is never, ever mentioned by a city reporter or columnist.

Thanks to Schoolgal

Commenting Issues

Haloscan, which handles the comments on this site, has been buggy of late. Schoolgal reports getting a message she was "banned by webmaster."

This site's been up for a year and a half, and I've banned a grand total of one person (and not Schoolgal).

So please ignore that message if you get it. What will get you banned here?

Constant ad hominem attacks, for one. You are free to express your ideas here, and you are free to disagree with my ideas, or anybody else's. I take a very dim view of attacking people rather than ideas (I understand that actions or pronouncements may lead to conclusions about people, though, and that may make a difference).

Also, while I enjoy Jon Swift, I'd appreciate if you'd refrain from reviewing movies you haven't seen, or books and articles (or even blog posts) you haven't read. Finally, unless you are The Amazing Kreskin, I'd appreciate if you'd fight the urge to read minds.

In any case, if you get that message on this site, please ignore it and feel free to try again later. If you don't think you're banned, you aren't.

Another Miracle

If you read the New York Times, you were probably as shocked as I was to find an op-ed written by a real teacher this week (Leave it to that liberal media to assume a teacher might know something about education). The teacher in question is none other than Tom Moore, who writes I Who Can't, and who had me hooked with a series he wrote for Slate a few years back.

Mr. Moore makes the points that few, if any, of us are what Hillary Swank is on the screen, and that the conditions of school movies rarely approach reality.

Films like “Freedom Writers” portray teachers more as missionaries than professionals, eager to give up their lives and comfort for the benefit of others, without need of compensation. Ms. Gruwell sacrifices money, time and even her marriage for her job.

I frequently read commenters who expect nothing less of teachers. As Mr. Moore points out, Ms. Gruwell, like so many others, gave up teaching within five years. Despite popular sentiment otherwise, this is not actually because the work is too easy and the pay is too high.

I’m always surprised at how, once a Ms. Gruwell wins over a class with clowning, tears, rewards and motivational speeches, there is nothing those kids can’t do. It is as if all the previously insurmountable obstacles students face could be erased by a 10-minute pep talk or a fancy dinner. This trivializes not only the difficulties many real students must overcome, but also the hard-earned skill and tireless effort real teachers must use to help those students succeed.

He's right--it's very tough turning kids around (and I've mostly seen it done one at a time, rather than with an entire class). It's absurd that Deputy Chancellor Alonso has the audacity to publicly maintain the only variable is the teacher, but that's the philosophy these days. Maybe it's easier if you've got signed pledges from the parents stating they'll follow the rules or get tossed out. I wouldn't know.

I'm particularly fond of Mr. Moore's final paragraph, to which I'll add nothing:

Every day teachers are blamed for what the system they’re just a part of doesn’t provide: safe, adequately staffed schools with the highest expectations for all students. But that’s not something one maverick teacher, no matter how idealistic, perky or self-sacrificing, can accomplish.

Thanks to Schoolgal

I'm Thinking Narnia

A few weeks back, I reported on a student of mine, Mindy, who'd become somewhat of an intrepid traveler. Unhappy with NYC schools, her mom sent her to Washington State. Then, unhappy with Washington State, she brought her back and put her in my class. When I moved Mindy to a lower level, Mom became frantic. She appeared at the guidance office several times claiming that this change had caused irreversible psychological damage.

Mindy, however, reported that she really liked the new class. Mom withdrew her objections, and began to praise the wisdom of the transfer. A week ago, however, one of my colleagues had to cover Mindy's new class. As she knew Mindy, she asked where she was.

"She's not in this class," reported one of her friends.

"Who's Mindy?" asked another.

It turned out Mindy had never actually reported to this class she was so happy with. No wonder she liked the class so much. It turns out when you never show up for classes, those nasty teachers rarely inconvenience you with questions, tests, homework, calls home, or any of those other things that get in the way of what's really important.

My colleague called Mindy's mom.

But, faced with the prospect of actually having to show up, Mindy became unhappy once again. Going to school was one thing, but having to attend classes was a deal-breaker.

So Mom came to school, withdrew Mindy, and is now sending her out of the country. Hopefully she can find a new one that won't burden her with all this education nonsense.

It's Snowing! It's Snowing!

Some crazy little girl is running around my house shouting this news to the mountaintops (which are fairly far from here).

It sounds very important, so I'm duty-bound to share it.

The More Things Change...

...the more they stay the same. Mayor Bloomberg's proposals remind me of nothing more than the folks who come to school each year to tell us how this is the way to teach, this is the only way to teach, and no teaching can ever occur unless you teach this way. They freely admit, of course, that they said the same thing last year, but that way, for some inexplicable reason, no longer works.

I've learned to block them out altogether by closing my eyes and focusing on one simple word, which unfortunately is not fit to publish.

So last year's reforms, as brilliant as they were, are not reform-minded enough, and this year we need to reform the reforms so as to create a reformation that's so well-formed, we can discard it utterly when reform time comes around.

There's a lot of talk about tenure. I have very mixed feelings about that. We ought not to grant tenure to people who are unfit to teach. Still, I don't believe this mayor is seriously looking to reduce the pool of available teachers. Supply and demand is a tricky thing, and NYC has been able to keep teacher salaries below market rates for over thirty years.

Do you really think we've seen the last of intergalactic recruiting? I doubt it.

But the mayor now says if you can't raise the kids' test scores, you may not get tenure. This, of course, makes the plainly idiotic assumption that the teacher is the only factor affecting test scores. Well, let me tell you, it's easy to raise test scores. Just do what Rod Paige did, and make sure kids who mess up statistics get left behind somehow. Or take all the tests yourself. There are lots of ways creative teachers can get around this, just as Mayor Mike himself doesn't count dropouts in his own statistics.

Are those the sort of teachers we want? Will we be surprised at the occasional indiscreet newbie who gets caught? Will the mayor get away with this nonsense?

One person who clearly doesn't know is UFT President Randi Weingarten, as usual, the proverbial deer in the headlights. Ms. Weingarten feigns shock at this utterly predictable finger-pointing. Mayor Mike has many fingers, though, and we all know which way they point. How on earth can Ms. Weingarten, his number one collaborator, be surprised?

She's now stood up to protect tenure, though as far as I can tell, it's not precisely under attack. Aside from the preposterous testing proposals, the threat seems more along the lines of enforcing existing agreements. And if it were under attack, or it is actually attacked, who would you want to protect it?

With Ms. Weingarten's explicit approval, mayoral control came into being, thus enabling the campaign of outright fear and loathing we've been subject to the last few years. Ms. Weingarten has thus far been too timid to speak against its renewal. For teachers, she's endorsed the sixth class, perpetual hall patrol, 90-day unpaid suspensions, a bought-and-paid-for phony opposition party called "New Action," and the all-new purgatory that is the Absent Teacher Reserve. For children, she's refused to make class size any part of contract negotiations.

Perhaps Ms. Weingarten, from her downtown ivory tower, has determined her actions will help us retain new teachers. The only potential improvement Ms. Weingarten has proposed was 25/55, and the other night, the mayor seemed to come out squarely against any enhancements to pension plans (In fact, it's almost certain he's got other notions entirely).

At every step, this mayor has outmaneuvered her. Like New York City's 1.1 million public schoolchildren, we need strong leaders who will stand up to bullies. Like them, we need leaders who will demand small class sizes in contract talks. We need leaders who understand what a raise is, what cost of living is, and who won't toss our hard-won benefits into the trash for less than nothing. We need leaders who understand that making a difficult job even more difficult is not precisely the key to retaining teachers.

We don't need Ms. Weingarten and her band of overpaid sycophantic Unity-New Action patronage cronies. They know only how to shut up and sit down for fear of endangering pension #2.

Thanks to Schoolgal

cross-posted to Take Back the UFT

Protocol

Mr. Greenblatt couldn't help but notice that after he heard the sneeze, there were copious amounts of blood on Jose's desk. Jose had somehow bit his tongue while sneezing, and deeply. Fortunately the nurse's office was right across the hall.

"Jose," he ordered, "Go straight to the medical office."

A moment later Jose returned. "She wanth a path, Mithter Greenblatt."

Mr. Greenblatt scoured his bag for the requisite medical pass. He couldn't find one. He quickly scribbled something on a piece of paper and sent Jose back. But a moment later Jose returned, still bleeding.

"She wanth a medical path, Mithter."

Mr. Greenblatt was not happy. He sent Jose across the hall with a note written with his dry erase marker proclaiming the following, in block letters:

PLEASE DO YOUR JOB!

Jenny the nurse (who was actually not a nurse but a paraprofessional) found this beyond the pale. She got up from her desk and went over to give that Greenblatt guy a piece of her mind. Since he had no manners, she figured she'd walk right into his classroom, and that's just what she did.

"How dare you address me like that! In all my years in that office, I've never had anyone speak to me like that. Is it my fault if you can't keep a stock of medical room passes? You should be ashamed of yourself!"

She contemptuously tossed a pad full of passes onto Mr. Greenblatt's desk. Mr. Greenblatt filled one out, sent Jose to the medical office, and moments later Jose was in an ambulance, on his way to get that tongue looked at.

cross-posted to Kitchen Table Math

Bright Idea

102nd Edition...

...of the Carnival of Education.

Very cleverly presented by the venerable Dr. Homeslice, at no extra charge.

Check it out right now!

Stop and Go

My student observer was very surprised at what she saw in my classroom.

"I couldn't help but notice," she said, "that you have the kids all mixed up."

"What do you mean?"

"In the other classes I observed, the students were grouped by language so that they could help one another."

I was very surprised by that. How can anyone help you learn English by speaking to you in a foreign language?

I will never forget the three years I spent in high school not learning Spanish. All I really got was "Como esta usted?" and a little song about the Puerto Rican flag. But when I lived in Mexico I found that people didn't know what the hell I was talking about when I spoke English. I was highly motivated to learn Spanish, and I did.

From time to time people ask me, "How can you teach Chinese people English when you don't know Chinese?" If that were a prerequisite, babies, the best language learners in the world, would be mute the world over.

The observer noticed that my kids chatted with one another in English. That's a goal in my classroom so I was glad of this. Yesterday, her last day, she told me that English would be used exclusively in her classroom as well.

Moments like that are why people teach. It's remarkable, though, that none of her professors found the practice of teaching English in English worthy of mention.

Overheard

"Why didn't you want to work in that group?"

"Those kids don't like me."

"No, you must be mistaken. I think you're being too sensitive."

"No, Miss, they really don't like me. I can tell."

"How can you tell"

"By the way they treat me. You just know these things."

"Really, I don't believe that. You must be imagining this, Osama."

Mayor Mike's Educational Prescription

Chancellor Klein is going to reveal all his secrets to the Research Partnership for New York City Schools. It's reassuring he's finally acknowledged keeping them from us for the last five years. We're going to learn all about his far-reaching reforms and find out why, despite all those allegedly good intentions, 75% of high schools are still overcrowded.

We're going to find out why, despite years of talk about teacher quality and vows to hire teachers who met standards, 25% of middle school teachers are not even licensed in their subject areas. Maybe he'll explain this, too:

Poor and minority students fare far worse in the city's middle grades and are less prepared for high school than their wealthier, white counterparts, a new report charges.

Only 22% of eighth-graders in high poverty schools meet state reading standards, while 58% of students in wealthier schools make the grade, according to the report, which is out today.

Suburban schools have lower class sizes, pay teachers considerably more, choose from hundreds of applicants, and don't, as a matter of course, place gym teachers in front of ESL classes. As far as I know, they don't target the neediest students for their least-qualified teachers either. Perhaps, though, that's just a coincidence. Perhaps such things have never occurred to Mr, Klein, and that's why he needs to spend tax money studying them. Perhaps such practices don't aid at all in teacher retention.

But it's likely they do. Waiting five years to tell the public what you're doing (if indeed they deliver on that pledge), pretending art teachers don't instruct kids in science, making false claims about class size, fudging statistics about dropouts, using unproven touchy-feely educational programs, shoving kids into buildings like sardines, refusing any input whatsoever from working teachers---these are all hallmarks of the Bloomberg-Klein approach to schools.

Despite this, mayors in LA and DC want to emulate this model. But there's little doubt that anyone who really looks at what's been happening will see that, for all his talk, Mayor Mike's made precious little progress in any area except PR.

Ban Bonzo

When Ronald Reagan ran for president in 1980, there was a renewed interest in his work as an actor. He took a lot of ribbing for a film he made with a monkey named Bonzo. I'd never heard of this film, and though it seemed less than classic, I was curious to see it.

But that was before VCRs were so ubiquitous, and no TV station would run it. They felt that during an election, giving free publicity to a candidate was blatantly unethical. Perhaps it was illegal.

Unity-New Action, on the other hand, have their paws in your dues money, and are running a slick commercial I happened to see on Law and Order the other day. Every time the machine is up for re-election, such commercials appear, so it's tough to attribute them to coincidence.

If Randi Weingarten were serious about reducing class size, she'd have made it a contract demand a long time ago. Instead, she sent out a questionnaire deliberately giving members the impression that class size reductions, if demanded, would come in lieu of salary increases.

In fact, the only reason class sizes are as low as they are is because they are written into the UFT contract. Petitions and referendums have failed in the past, and the severely diminished CFE lawsuit provides no oversight whatsoever for the mayor.

The most memorable moments of this commercial entail Ms. Weingarten's name hovering over the screen along the UFT insignia.

It's disgraceful Ms. Weingarten uses member dues to run her re-election campaign. Her ethics seem to pale next to Bonzo's. Here's the commercial, by the way, free of charge:



Related: Oh, Those UFT Commercials

Does Size Matter?

Here's a story that suggests small schools may not be the panacea that Mayor Mike and Chancellor Klein seem to think they are.

Like the teaching methods that are presented as the Ten Commandments, then discarded on an annual basis, small schools are just another way of doing things. I've seen a hundred writing books that treat five-paragraph essays as though they are the pinnacle of western civilization. Yet this week I'm reading a great book by Walter Mosley, and he doesn't seem to use them at all.

I understand that small schools can be fine. But they can be terrible as well. You could say the same for large schools.

It would be far better if we disregarded school size entirely, and focused on creating good ones.

Let's get good teachers.

And let's have small classes, because that is where size matters (though personally, I wouldn't want to be that guy in the red shorts).

Thanks to Schoolgal

What Are They Doing Right?

There's a story in the Daily News about a very successful charter school:

The charter school scored one of the highest passing rates (95.7%) in the state's seventh-grade math test last year, finishing ahead of far more prestigious schools. "We have really strict rules for behavior and work, and these scores are the result of that love, discipline and very high standards," school founder Deborah Kenny said.

I have no problem with that. But my adventures in hall patrol have taught me that where I work, easy fixes are preferred by many over viable consequences. Anyone who has kids knows that they will get away with everything they're allowed to. So why do we allow it?

In my classroom, it's not allowed, and I will go to great lengths to ensure consequences for unacceptable behavior. But despite being a fascistic authoritarian bastard, I'm unwilling to spend my time getting involved with parents of kids who aren't my students. So why won't the fascistic authoritarian bastards over at Tweed compel administrators (or deans, or anyone) to back me up?

"The school makes us focus on our homework, preparation, academics and our behavior," said Jared Thornton, 13, of West Harlem.

Students of Village Academies typically have two hours of homework a night, half an hour of pleasure reading and a school day ending at 4:40 p.m., one hour later than the citywide public school schedule. "When I got here in fifth grade, I thought the rules were way too strict," Jared said. "But I've never cared more about my education, and my teachers respect and teach me more than anyone ever has."

That's great. But it's very sad we don't do the same. Of course there are bad charters and great public schools (though many of them are over the Nassau border). But there's no reason we couldn't do better, if the powers that be had any interest whatsoever.

My friend Schoolgal (who sent me this story) writes:

...teachers like you and I and many others stress the same values, but the DoE and administrators really do not. Would charter schools be needed if these values were stressed and incorporated in each and every public school?

That's a great question.

What's your opinion?

Curtains for Him...

... because he, a married man, got caught stepping out with her, at least partially on the public dime:

Sources with knowledge of the probe into Reyes Irizarry, whose sprawling territory of Region 4 covers southwest Queens and Brooklyn, told The Post that investigators substantiated complaints that he had an affair with a female underling and gave her a raise.

The subordinate was identified by sources as Eva Chejfetz, director of academic-intervention services for the region, which serves 120,000 children in 95 schools.

I've been getting emails about how awful this guy was, and how glad people are to see him gone. It appears teachers will not miss him very much:

In 2005, Irizarry was the target of a raucous protest by more than 400 teachers who claimed his unyielding management style restricted their ability to teach. A year earlier, he was the subject of a letter of censure by the United Federation of Teachers.

Even the DoE, usually more than maternal in protecting its own, had nothing to say in his defense.

On the brighter side, now we all know what merit pay is for.

Thanks to Schoolgal, Norm, and Tim

Blog Tour

What do teachers make? Find out right now, at School Me.

Right Wing Nation has very particular notions about how to use American English, and woe to those who defy them.

Jon Swift suggests President Bush is utilizing the Castanza method of doing the opposite.

Ms. Cornelius wants to know what the best satirical song ever is, and she's counting votes at A Shrewdness of Apes.

Ay, dios mio! Over at Siempre Fiel, Nic's Spanish 1 students plan to sell children (and worse), while others are merely selling their boyfriends (prices are not specified).

Cruelty + No Imagination = NYC Principal

I found this story so ridiculous on the face of it I couldn't think of anything to say about it. How on earth does a principal tell a special education student (or any student) that he doesn't "have the brains" to accomplish something?" But Schoolgal, who's actually endured experienced spelling bees, had this to say:

Why was it only one class participated in the bee? Usually the whole
5th grade does it in class and then we send 2 winners to compete in the grade contest (usually held in the auditorium).

Principals usually select a teacher to be in charge. The teacher then
informs the grade to hold a spelling bee in class. Then their 2 top
spellers compete in a grade competition usually held in the auditorium.
In this case, this was not done at first. Only one teacher (the
special ed teacher) did it, and that's when the principal realized she did not follow the procedure and held a grade contest.

By telling the first child he was not good enough I think she scared off the
first and second place winners who backed out of the regional competition. I
believe the child in question came in 3rd. (given that there were probably
only 4 classes competing).

This principal was more about her image than anything else. The next
level was the region, and many children would be eliminated on the first round, not just her school.

If this principal had any savvy, she would have gotten a coach for this kid and made a big fuss over the fact that this child is special ed--a missed opportunity to be proud of the achievement!

Instead she berated the kid and now denies the conversation took
place.

I was very impressed with these comments. As cruel as I thought the principal had been, she turns out to have been blessed with a complete lack of foresight as well. No wonder she moved up so high in a system where people needed to ask permission before dialing 911.

cross posted to Kitchen Table Math

Internet, Phone, and Money

My colleague, Ms. Bright, had to cover an ESL class the other day. She's a language teacher, and a student who spoke her language was very upset with her.

"I know you. I don't like you. You're a terrible teacher," he said.

She told him he didn't have to like her, and that all he needed to do was the assignment she'd written on the board.

"You are a very bad teacher. You called my friend's house after he was absent only two days, and got him in trouble. In Mr. Dull's class, we can be absent for a month, walk right in, and he won't say a word about it."

"I can't say anything about Mr. Dull," she told him. "That's just how I do things."

"That's not all!" he shouted. "You told his mother to take away his internet, his phone, and his spending money. And do you know what she did? Well, do you?"

"Yes I do," she replied. "She took away his internet, his phone, and his spending money. And now he's passing my class."

"Who cares about that? How is he supposed to live without internet, phone or money? You are the worst teacher I've ever seen!"

"Well, you shouldn't really speak to me like that. We only have two teachers who teach your language, and I'm one of them. Think about the future."

At that point, the student burst into a string of colorful invective (I'll spare you) in front of a roomful of witnesses (many of whom understood the language he was speaking). Ms. Bright wrote it down word for word, translated it, and now the young man is suspended for three days.

But it's not all bad. He's still got his internet, his phone, and his money.

If No One Hears, It Didn't Happen

Tweed, in its infinite wisdom, has decreed that the school nurse at PS 20 no longer needs to ask the principal for permission to dial 911. Is this because it's determined the health and welfare of children overrides the need to hide the truth from the public?

That's doubtful. If you're a city teacher, this is far from the first such practice you've heard about, Klein's official policy statement notwithstanding. Tellingly, the incident was three years ago, but the statement didn't appear till this week.

More likely it's the result of a student's death from an asthma attack, the delay in treatment, the consequent 2-million dollar lawsuit, and most importantly, the avalanche of bad press that's ensued.

It makes me acutely aware that the only thing that will relieve the obscene overcrowding I live with every day is a catastrophic fire. Even then, nothing will happen unless people die and it makes it to the tabloids.

Thanks to Schoolgal

A Question

Zogby sends me online surveys. On the last one I took, they asked:

Do you consider yourself to be a resident of mostly:

A. your home town
B. America
C. the planet earth

I was fascinated by this question, though I can't precisely understand why.

What's your answer?

The Worst Excuse...

...that I ever heard for an absence occurred late yesterday afternoon.

"Why weren't you in school yesterday, Carlos?"

"I left my metrocard and my wallet at home, Mr. Educator."

"And where were you, Carlos?"

"I had to stay home," he said. I had to process this for a moment.

"So, Carlos, are you going to sleep in the classroom tonight?"

"Why should I do that?"

"Well, your metrocard and your wallet are here, aren't they? Since you have to stay wherever they are, you're gonna be staying here tonight, I guess. Please try not to make too much of a mess."

What's the worst excuse you ever heard?

The Carnival is in Town

Hop on over to I Thought a Think and check it out.

Price: free

(Slightly higher in Canada)

Notes from the Waiting Room

Haloscan has been a little screwy lately so the comments form may be inaccessible.

You can watch this while you wait (No, it doesn't matter if you're from New York). Extra credit to anyone who identifies the mandolinist, and a "get out of homework free" pass for the fiddler's name (if the comments form ever opens up):

From NYC Educator's Mailbag

Hi there. I've been following your blog for a few months now, and I realize that you may not hold Teaching Fellows to the highest regard. Here I am, a liberal-minded and idealistic senior in college, two days away from my Fellows interview...and I'm wondering....is it all worth it? Will I be treated like crap for my effort and intentions by everyone with more experience? I'd appreciate your honest answer.

Any advice? Will that two months of training make all the difference? That's about two months more than I got, actually.

Let's Experiment

Why not? We've already dismissed good teachers, small classes, and decent facilities as too expensive. And our union has directly enabled this experimentation.

UFT President Randi Weingarten supported mayoral control, and later co-wrote a column criticizing it. She then prominently sat on the sidelines, declining to endorse the mayor's opponent. While mayoral control is set to sunset in a few years, despite her previous words, Ms. Weingarten thus far declines to speak out against its renewal.

What would it take for Ms. Weingarten to take a principled stand? How about this?

Mayor Bloomberg will announce sweeping changes to the public school system next week, including a major push to turn over more management functions to private companies, sources said yesterday.

Rumors of the impending shakeup have swirled among public school managers for weeks, but City Hall officials refused yesterday to talk about any aspect of the plan, which Bloomberg is expected to outline during his State of the City address next Wednesday.

According to education sources who have been informed about portions of the plan, the mayor will propose:

Doubling the number of schools in Schools Chancellor Joel Klein's experimental "Empowerment Zone" from the current 300 to more than 600 - nearly half of all schools in the system.

Hiring private education companies as consultants or managers to oversee smaller networks of schools within the Empowerment Zone. They also would run some support services for the entire system.

Further reducing the 10 existing regional school districts into five superdistricts - one for each borough.

After Bloomberg won mayoral control of the schools during his first term, Klein tore apart the city's old community decentralization system, consolidating the functions of the original 32 district superintendents and redistributing them to 10 new regional superintendents.

"This is so reckless," said Randi Weingarten, president of the United Federation of Teachers. "We've been hearing all sorts of rumors about privatizing the system and a radical restructuring. How many more of these restructurings must we go through?"

Weingarten said she tried during the past few days to get City Hall officials to reveal their plans, but was rebuffed...

The only surprise here is that Ms.Weingarten expected to be consulted. As she's rendered herself (and the UFT) irrelevant by consistently declining to provide substantive opposition or creative leadership, this was to be expected. In related news, Mayor Mike has won his bid to build four schools on a contaminated site. This shows how much he cares about public schoolchildren.

Snookering the UFT President to enable his privatization of the school system shows how much he cares about business. And now, more than ever, we need leaders who won't let Mayor Mike give us the business anymore.

Now With Only 13% Unqualifed Teachers

Mayor Mike has certainly given us a breath of fresh air, what with his innovative use of toxic waste sites for new schools, and his absolute refusal to fritter away valuable dollars on a lawsuit to ensure good teachers, smaller classes, and adequate facilities for city kids. While the CFE funds have been whittled away by 2/3 as a result, at least Mayor Mike has preserved the city's precious right not to contribute toward it.

And now the news comes that a mere 13% of teachers fail to meet standards. That's down from what--15 or 17%? It's a great achievement.

Teachers union President Randi Weingarten credited salary increases, but added, "In order to increase teacher quality even more, we must lower class size, vigilantly promote safety and create a more cooperative relationship between teachers and principals."

As usual, Randi has her finger right on the pulse of teacher retention. Under her and her party's inspired guidance, teachers have six classes a day, no right to grieve letters in their files, pointless busywork in August, perpetual hall patrol, severely compromised seniority rights, no possiblility for high school teachers to choose their own representation, hundreds of working teachers demoted to wandering substitutes, Teaching Fellows tossed out on the streets for the sin of getting caught up in the ATR brigade, a phony opposition party called New Action, and two contracts in a row with increases that failed to meet inflation.

It's always encouraging to know words still come out of her mouth. Sometimes, though, my mind drifts toward reality, and I wish she had a mustache so we could watch it move up and down as she spoke.

I Want It, I Want It All, and I Want It Now!

So says Mayor Mike, referring to the school he wishes to build on a toxic site. After all, toxic waste is a real product of our contemporary society, and Mayor Mike is a hands-on guy. Don't expect to see his hands, or those of his kids anywhere near the place, but it's high time public school children got a firsthand look at it.

While Mayor Mike and his minions claim it's absolutely safe (and since their kids attend private schools, what's the difference?), I can't help but notice that the most he ever proposes luxury housing and sports stadiums on contaminated land is never. Now that, in my view, is not a very high percentage.

Mayor Mike had promised to partially pay for and wait on an independent environmental assessment, but why wait? After all, what if they decide against the project? If Mayor Mike wants it, he wants it, and it must be a good idea, because why would he want it if it weren't? Available non-contaminated fields on Randall's Island are needed for private schools. The Livingston Street building is being converted to condominiums.

I once cornered a Tweed spokesperson and questioned him about the city's actions, which I considered superficial and ineffectual, particularly when compared to what works. His defense was the following:

"Well, at least we're doing something."

If you really want to do something, Class Size Matters has a suggestion:

Call Speaker Quinn’s office today - let her know that this she should allow a vote to block this plan from going forward; this sort of double-dealing on the part of the city should not be allowed, especially since the health of our children is at stake: 212- 788-7210.

Now That I'm Famous...

...I can get a swelled head and stop hanging with my lowlife friends. Maybe I can get a job with my union and stop working altogether.

Anyway, NYC Educator is quoted in today's Daily News. You have to scroll down to see it (as they saved the best for last).

Oddly, on the web version of a column called "Eopinion," the web addresses don't link to the sites.

So much for the extra 5 million readers I was hoping for.

Mr. Peabody Redux

There are curiouser and even curiouser accomplishments, which you can examine right here in "The World of Student Bloopers." I learned many things from it:

Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "a horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. He reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

The First World War, cause by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

Everybody's Doing It

This morning's Times reviews a new book about plagiarism, who gets away with it, and why. I am continually amazed at how many teachers routinely accept plagiarized papers. I frequently see them hanging on bulletin boards.

I once had a very bright ESL student who happened to leave her paper in the office. She had received an A from her teacher, who happened to be the AP of social studies.

I read the paper, found out where the girl was, and called her out of her classroom. I told her I knew she didn't write the paper, and that if I knew, other teachers could figure it out too. She asked, frantically, "Are you going to tell Ms. Myopic?" I said no, but I wanted her to know that people could tell. I told her she could be expelled from college for doing that.

I was once reading English Regents exams, and noticed two clearly plagiarized papers which were identical even in spelling errors. When I brought them to my AP, she asked, "Who else but you would notice that?" Everybody, I hoped. The students' teacher defended them by saying that they'd actually copied from something she'd written on the board. I wondered whether the teacher had plagiarized it and added her poor spelling by habit.

One of the students had a language teacher who claimed that memorization was very important in her country, that students did it regularly, and that it was therefore OK. I recited a verse from Annabel Lee, and asked whether it would be OK for me to publish it.

No one responded. A group of administrators, including the principal, met and determined the best thing to do was ask the kids to come in. When they did, the kids were asked to rewrite the essay. The kid from the country where plagiarism was very important produced an entire paragraph from memory, and the administrators decided not to void his exam.

I walked down the hall, and demanded to see the principal. This was odd for me, because I'd not spoken to her in years. I went in, sat down, and she began praising me effusively. I was so smart, why wasn't I an administrator, we needed more teachers like me, blah blah blah, and I was halfway down the hall before I realized she'd handled me, snowed me, played me like a violin, and gotten me the hell out of her office before I'd even gotten a response.

I couldn't go back, as she'd more than earned the right to be rid of me. She was very, very smart and I'll always respect her for getting over on me like that (though I still don't agree with her at all).

But when kids start handling me like that, it'll be time to retire.

Around the Blogs

Mamacita of Scheiss Weekly doesn't suffer fools lightly, and she is absolutely on fire writing about them.

California Teacher Guy offers a thoughtful post of biblical quotes that relate to education. He's also kindly provided interpretations for those of us hopelessly baffled by "thees" and "thous."

The Chalkboard fails to discern the prestige in having crappy schools named in your honor.

April May has a list of resolutions she wishes other teachers would make. They make perfect sense (which is probably why no one's ever proposed them before).

Peter Campbell has a few serious reservations about KIPP schools, often hailed as the best thing since sliced bread.

And Pissed Off Teacher, whose very name suggests the end of the line, now wants to keep teaching. Go figure.

Children First

That's Mayor Bloomberg's mantra. In order to help children, he's going to push a 230 million dollar school project on contaminated land in the South Bronx. In a concession to critics who say kids shouldn't study on contaminated sites, Deputy Mayor Walcott says he'll clean it up.

Meanwhile, non-contaminated grounds are being devoted to private schools, Mayor Mike won't guarantee that area residents can attend his new proposed schools (or any other new schools), he routinely excludes kids who might bring scores down, he excludes dropouts from graduation statistics, and rejoices that there will be no oversight of CFE funds (reduced by two-thirds as a direct result of his intransigence).

Way to go, Mayor Mike. It's a good thing you've rejected all that nonsense about good teachers, smaller class sizes and decent facilities. That stuff may work in Nassau County, but it's too expensive and New York City needs to innovate.

It's entirely possible that one day, one of the innovations may work. Why should 30 years of abject failure discourage you?

Getting Ready for the Weekend

It's two minutes before the end of the last class and my kids are working on something they're never going to finish. They all know I'm going to call it homework before we're gone.

The girl who sits by the door has already put it away and is busily counting her birth control pills. I'm thinking about whether or not to tell her to put them away when the bell mercifully rings and she does it herself.

It's kind of indiscreet to count your birth control pills in the classroom.

But it's not nearly as indiscreet as getting yourself pregnant at fifteen.

Another Shocker

Kids who cut classes, don't do homework, and never study don't show up for tutoring either.

Of the 184,790 students who attend failing schools in poor neighborhoods, only 50,524 - or 27.3% - have signed up for tutoring provided under the No Child Left Behind Act so far this year.

Oh my goodness, they don't even bother signing up (Could it be that such kids will not end up in charter schools, ever?). Personally, I'm stunned that this is happening, despite the best efforts of the non-educators who design these laws. Perhaps it's understandable, since their kids, who invariably attend private schools, don't have these particular problems.

It's a good thing that teachers are not in leadership positions, and are never, ever consulted, or these laws might not be as successful as they are.

Nepotism, Shmepotism

Alan Hevesi has resigned as comptroller. So who ought to overlook the state's finances? How about Mayor Bloomberg's girlfriend? She says she's up for the task.

One of the mayor's priorities in the CFE case (which was to provide smaller classes and better teachers for NYC kids) was to ensure there was no oversight in how he spent the money. Here's someone who'll be sure not to provide it.

OK, his girlfriend isn't actually Randi Weingarten (as far as I know), but isn't that a great picture (stolen from Norm)?

Death to Middle School

When we were in junior high school, my mom and her neighbor used to look at us and say, "They're at that %$@% age."

But what's changed? It's all over the papers--middle schools are a huge problem. Maybe a better way to get kids to learn algebra is to put on a cowboy hat and sing 'em a few tunes. Me, I hate cowboy hats. But middle school teachers who don't wear them are running away in droves.

Still, it seems no matter what you do, or where you do it, that's a problem age. Middle schools were the answer to junior high schools. How could you control those awful 7th, 8th, and 9th graders? It was thought the combination of 6th, 7th, and 8th graders would prove unbeatable. However, educrats now feel it may be beatable after all. They're trying new things:

At the Brooklyn Secondary School for Collaborative Studies, in Carroll Gardens, which includes grades 6 through 12, school does not start until 9 a.m., because the principal, Alyce Barr, believes adolescents are by nature not morning people.

I'm not a morning person either, but I have this job and all, so I force myself. I particularly dislike the 6-12 configuration, because I picture my little daughter (currently in fifth grade) wandering the same halls as that 21-year-old working on his fourth high-school credit. Also, my daughter's actually mastered the art of waking up in the morning, and she may need that talent in the future.

In New York City, about ten years ago they eliminated 9th grade altogether from the middle, junior high, or whatever they were calling those underutilized schools. They moved all the ninth graders to the overutilized high schools, and that's one of the reasons my building is now at 250% capacity (75% of NYC high schools are overcrowded).

Another thing they're working on is K-8 schools. Personally, I'd rather my child be around kids closer to her own age. Junior high kids, or middle school kids, or whatever you wish to call them are at a rough age, and even the very best districts have problems with them.

Moving them from school to school is not the solution. The solution is my standard prescription--good teachers, manageable class sizes, and decent facilities. There are no shortcuts.

Come to think of it, my mom and her neighbor said the same things about us when we were in elementary and high school (I'll bet they're saying the same thing now, as a matter of fact).

Elliot Gets It...

...and he's about to give it to us, too.

So says Maisie over at Edwize--Governor Spitzer says he's for lower class size. I knew that, and that was one of the reasons I voted for him. But Maisie has the whole story, which I must have missed:

He went on to call for a longer school day and year, after-school programs, school Internet libraries and improved teaching. He made univeral pre-K and raising the state charter cap additional major proirities.

Wow! A longer school day and year. Great. Since we already work 190 days, more than any neighboring district, I see this as a huge improvement. I'm tired of spending time with my kid on the nights I don't work and in the summer (on the days I don't work), so I'm really glad I voted for Elliot.

Thanks, UFT, for supporting this guy! Since teaching is such an easy job, involving no stress whatsoever (particularly for those in UFT offices sitting on double pensions), I'm sure they can't wait to help out the governor.

After all, they regularly trade our time for money, label such trades "raises," and thus let us know they value our time not one whit. While we patrol the halls, cafeterias, and bathrooms, while we get 90-day unpaid suspensions, while we can't transfer without permission (and we gave away the right to do so for less than nothing), while we become ATRs, while we teach six classes, while we get letters we cannot grieve, they stay one extra hour in UFT HQ, doing whatever it is they do in there. And for that, they get pay increases equal to ours, and increase our dues.

Raising the charter cap came with a poison pill allowing Klein and Bloomberg to convert existing schools to charters without community approval. Like yours, or your kid's. Who knows where they'll send you (or your kids) after such conversions? This will go a long way to help accomplish their goal of eliminating public schools entirely.

It's great to know we have such good buddies running the state. The UFT's prescience never ceases to amaze me.

Had it with Hobbits?

Not yet? Then you'll want to grab the Lord of the Rings Trilogy DVD set for $15 - 10% off & free shipping using coupon MCOCT2006-- you get the whole thing for fourteen clams.

NYC teachers can still hold onto 736 pre-tax Randibucks, once they get 'em.

from Slickdeals.net

Waits Till I Gets Me Spinach

There's a panic in Maplewood, New Jersey. The latchkey kids have taken over the library, and there's no controlling them. Some kids are okay, apparently. But not all:

Others, library officials say, fight, urinate on the bathroom floor, scrawl graffiti on the walls, talk back to librarians or refuse to leave when asked. One recently threatened to burn down the branch library. Librarians call the police, sometimes twice a day.

What's a town to do? Well, this one has decided to close its libraries from 2:45 to 5:00 PM. That seems kind of drastic. If I were sending my kid to the library to do homework or research, it would be hugely inconvenient.

Who's to blame? Is it the parents who rely on the library for babysitting? Is it the town, which apparently has no place else for the kids to go? Is it completely the fault of the kids for behaving like they do? Personally, it's hard for me to blame the librarians, who are neither trained nor paid to control this sort of thing. They don't have the authority we do, and I've never heard of kids going to summer school for misbehaving in the library.

What would you do if you were mayor of Maplewood?

Extra Credit: Check out the 100th Carnival of Education over at Teaching in the 21st Century.

Selling the Schools

Here's something most public schools haven't had to worry about--an advertising budget. Bloomfield, Connecticut is spending thousands of taxpayer dollars promoting its public schools via radio and billboards.

'The world has changed,' said David Title, superintendent of Bloomfield schools.

'Families have more choices about where they go to school. It's a more competitive environment.'

Title and his staff want to retain Bloomfield students who can choose from charter, magnet, private and parochial schools in Greater Hartford. But they also want to get the attention of families and good teachers considering a move, so they've taken to radio with spots touting the school system during morning and afternoon drive time.

I pay about $8,000 a year (in Nassau County) in property taxes, and personally, I don't feel like paying more to get the word out. Can you imagine what Klein and Bloomberg would do? Dimes to dollars they'd promote charters and private schools and let the public schools rot (which they seem to be doing already).

Do you think people could be swayed by advertising? Or do home values pretty much speak for themselves?

Driving Mr. Pataki

New York's new governor, Eliot Spitzer, has approved round-the-clock security for his predecessor, George Pataki. The Post estimates this could cost taxpayers $20,000 per week or more.

This is a very odd development, coming on the heels of Alan Hevesi's resignation (due to his utilizing state employees to chauffeur his wife). Of course Governor Pataki is not receiving perks simply because of marriage. Still, previous outgoing Governor Mario Cuomo received no such benefit.

Thanks to Schoolgal

New Year's Resolutions

First, a joyous 2007 to all.

I wish you a year filled with health and prosperity.

If you're a New York City teacher, you just got $750, and remember a good portion of that will go to the federal government. These funds go directly toward fighting communism, and no one likes communism (except perhaps California Teacher Guy, who suspiciously says "full stop" instead of "period").

If you aren't a New York City teacher, I hope you already have $750. Consider, though, you may not need it as badly if you don't live here, where a one-room shack goes for half-a-million bucks (assuming you can locate one).

Let's hope that our new governor, Eliot Spitzer, sees fit to sign that 25/55 legislation we've heard so much about. That way, we can all retire and spend time in taverns, which are much in need of our dollars during these troubled times. The tavern is an American institution, and it behooves us all to support it.

Most importantly, I beseech all of you to drink American this year. Regardless of what sort of swill Budweiser may produce, it's still our company. And if that's not your cup of tea (and don't drink tea, that's not American at all), there's Miller, Pabst, Schlitz, Piels, and a host of others. If you insist on that imported commie beer, go with Lowenbrau's (which I understand is actually made here).

Remember, here at NYC Educator, we don't care what kind of beer you drink. As long as it's American, you're A-OK in our book.