What No One Will Tell You When You Come to Work at the DOE, Part 2: Planning Your First Lessons

So if you enjoyed last week’s installment on Setting Up Your Classroom (or if it filled you with fear, trembling, and/or annoyance), you’ll love this week’s on Planning Your First Lessons! Since you may be teaching a different age group or subject from myself, I’m going to keep this post pretty general.

Blogger Mr. Accountable Talk (if you’re not reading his blog, you should be) reminded me that any advice to new teachers about those first heady days with the kids should be tempered with a strong dose of You Are Not Their Friend. This is so, so true. Particularly if you are teaching in a touchy-feely new school, there will be a lot of talk tossed around about “relationships” with the kids, and this may make you think you are supposed to develop a relationship with them first. I do not agree. Planning your first lessons with a sense of purpose, order, and firmness, though, will enable you to set up relationships with the kiddies that have healthy boundaries of respect around the compassion and, dare I say it, affection you will and probably should develop for your charges.

So when you plan your first lessons, make like Gary Rubinstein in The Reluctant Disciplinarian (a book you should read if you haven’t) and Keep It Simple. Your ed-school/NYCTF/TfA/cereal box training will have taught you all kinds of wonderful things about constructivism and Bloom’s taxonomy and multiple intelligences and blah blah blah. These are fine and, indeed, crucial things to know, especially when you are hoping to impress your boss. But for the first couple of weeks, Keep It Simple. You are learning yourself, after all. Do NOT plan intricate group projects, for example, during this time period. You may think you are promoting teamwork and higher-order thinking and whatnot. You will probably only inspire disaster.

The first couple of weeks of school should, first and foremost, be for promoting a sense of discipline and order in your classroom. This does not mean screaming at the kids, threatening them, intimidating them, or the like. It means projecting an aura of slightly blasé calm and control such that the students will think you have done this a million times before. You can best do this by following some very simple tips:

· Dress professionally. I don’t care how hot it is. Kids will definitely respect you more if you spend at least the first month of school looking sharp.

· Don’t raise your voice.

· Ask very few questions.

· If you don’t know what you’re supposed to do at a particular moment, fake it with as much calm as you can. Do not ever let on that you are taking a lucky guess. If you turn out to be wrong, the kids will probably never know.

· Be prepared to answer any question in less than half a second with as few syllables as possible. (See Rubinstein’s book on how to do this. He’s kidding, sort of, but it’s a good thing to keep in the back of your head.)

· Keep the room tidy, and enlist the students’ help in doing so.

· Don’t smile or laugh too much, but don’t act like a robot, either. I never could follow the “Don’t Smile Till Christmas” rule; I’m a pleasant and lighthearted person by nature, and a smile at the right moment can be reassuring and comforting for a kid. Just remember that the more serious and unruffled you can be, the more they will respect you.

· Have a Plan B, Plan C, Plan D, and Plan E. Kids will always finish something too fast and take too long with something else. Always be, or at least seem, prepared to extend an activity or move on to the next thing.

If you are worried about appearing too authoritarian or “mean,” you probably shouldn’t be. You need to not seem too cuddly in the first few weeks at the very least. I know—I’m a terminally nice person with a strong desire to be liked and accepted at all times myself, and the first time I really took the advice above, I was terrified. Guess what? It was the best year of my (admittedly short) career. The kids and I were getting along famously inside of two weeks. They were under control and they knew my limits, but we had a lot of fun too. You can have fun with your kids, enjoy them, and still be a firm leader in your classroom. But be a firm leader first. The relationships will follow when kids feel like they trust you to do your first jobs, which are to keep them safe and teach them stuff.

How does this play out in lesson planning? Do a lot of assessment. Whatever your subject is, you’ll have to do it. It’s not just paperwork to keep your bosses happy; it will tell you stuff about your kids. The easiest writing assessment in the world is to tell kids to write about anything for a fixed period of time. The only rule is that they have to start when you tell them and not stop till you tell them. Seeing what and how they write without any other instruction is valuable indeed. And whatever else ever came out of the Teachers’ College Reading and Writing Project (hi, northbrooklyn!!!), their reading assessments are easy and useful, and your principal will understand them. You can give them interest inventories, assess their learning styles, give them fun getting-to-know-you questionnaires…but notice that this is all quiet, independent seatwork. Nothing fancy yet! No plays or dioramas or book clubs or whatever else yet. Remember, you’re still establishing the tone and your tone is all-business, no-nonsense.

Also, plan to spend time explicitly teaching the things you need to do to keep the classroom running efficiently. Teach your rules. I’m not a fan of making the rules up along with the kids, although some teachers do this very well. Keep your rules simple and short and unambiguous. Spell out your Ladder of Discipline (most schools have a buildingwide ladder), which is something like

1.) Warning
2.) Student-teacher conference
3.) Phone call/letter/e-mail home
4.) Student-teacher-parent conference
5.) Referral to principal/dean

Make clear your specific, personal triggers. There are a few swear words that make me ill, and I cannot abide anything being thrown. You will be surprised how, if you are honest about what truly drives you up a wall, considerate students will be of these things, if you have established yourself as a firm leader.

Teach things like how to get supplies in the classroom, how to enter and exit the room, how to start the class, how to end the class, how you like things passed out and collected, how and when students can leave their seats, etc. You have probably not thought about any of these things. Trust me when I say you have to, even for high school kids. The more clear, explicit, and detailed your expectations are, the more they will know how to follow them. You may think that it would have the opposite effect, that kids will roll their eyes and grumble. Please trust me when I say that kids generally do not like surprises. The more routine, the more disciplined, the more orderly you can make your classroom, the more they will enjoy being there. They will feel comfortable and safe, and at that point, they can focus on their work. Not until then.

So now you have an idea of how to start thinking about how to set up your classroom and how to shape your first couple of weeks of lessons. In my next posts, we’ll delve more deeply into the two major aspects of your first few weeks: Assessment and Discipline. That’s if, of course, you haven’t run screaming yet.

Enjoy the holiday weekend!

Love,
Miss Eyre

In Other News...

...Al Franken is now Senator Franken. Norm Coleman, who demanded Franken concede a close race the day after the election, so as not to waste time, has conceded after a mere 7 months.

Take Cover, New York

Because as yet there's no agreement on mayoral control, Mayor Bloomberg says there will be rioting in the streets. He must be right, since he has all that money. Certainly New Yorkers everywhere will be breaking windows and setting cars on fire.

If Mayor Bloomberg can't have whatever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants, he's going to hold his breath until his face turns blue. This alone will cause the public to go absolutely nuts.

Also, in case you weren't aware, the Soviet Union is returning, perhaps somewhere downtown. Since this will doubtless result in a foot of snow, people in that area may have to riot more slowly. Rioting is a demanding task, so I suggest all rioters take regular breaks and have a nice bowl of borscht. That's beet soup, for those uninitiated with Soviet cuisine. I also suggest New Yorkers stock up on quality vodka in case mayoral control returns and we go back to the usual American stuff.

Me, I live in the burbs. We have none of the great innovations Mayor Bloomberg has brought New York, and our kids are stuck learning in classrooms rather than crumbling trailers. Also, we can't squeeze nearly as many kids in a room as Mayor Bloomberg can, and are stuck with reasonable class sizes. You can imagine how upset we must be.

However, I may come out and steal a big screen TV if the rioting continues. Please keep me posted when the looting starts, and let me know if you scout a good location. But for goodness sake, be careful where you swing your baseball bat, and riot defensively with protective headgear.

Remember, safety first.

Update: An emailer offers this advice: "Regarding the Soviets, if they confront you, just nod and say "da". They don't speak much English."

Standing Up for Billionaires Everywhere

That's the mayor's job, of course, as he traipses through the media spotlight demanding mayoral control. It's not primarily the concept of mayoral control that's so objectionable, even though it doesn't help kids, it doesn't help working teachers, and even though this mayor would not dream of sending his own kid to the public schools he sheds those crocodile tears over.

It's the fact that the New York City version allows for no checks or balances on the mayor's power that's so disturbing. Still, it doesn't stop tabloid op-ed boards, tinhorn politicians like Shelly Silver, or even part-time UFT President Randi Weingarten from getting up there in front of God and everybody demanding that it continue.

Now Shelly Silver appears to have been bought off by the mayor, the richest man in New York City, in what, effectively, is one billionaire caving in to help out another:

The former adversaries came together last week to rebuke the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey for its refusal to guarantee billions of dollars in financing for two office towers that the developer Larry A. Silverstein is to build at the trade center site.

After all, unlike you and me, unlike the schools over which Mayor Bloomberg presides, which are subject to massive budget cuts even as they continue with unconscionable overcrowding and the highest class sizes in the state, billionaires can always use a few bucks. We wouldn't know what to do with money if we had it, and neither would schoolchildren. Silver and Bloomberg can always manage to get together and help out a billionaire in need, who will truly appreciate it.

After all, they're doing a bang-up job over at the WTC site. Look at all they've created there in a mere eight years.

And everyone's favorite part-time leader of the biggest teacher local in the country, Ms. Weingarten, is willing to do her part as well. As Governor Paterson and Mayor Bloomberg got up in front of the cameras yesterday to demand a continuation of the effective dictatorship that is mayoral control, she stood to show solidarity. After all, a union boss needs to show solidarity.

Now usually union bosses show solidarity with working people. However, Ms. Weingarten is a new kind of union boss. That's why she rises to show solidarity with billionaires who stand for unlimited power. That's why she's so adored by union-bashers like Rod Paige and the New York Post editorial page.

You gotta admit, there's never been anything like her before. Ironically, in today's New York Post, Ms. Weingarten begs for mayoral control while pointing to the work she did for the CFE lawsuit, the very lawsuit that gave her hero, Mayor Bloomberg, hundreds of millions of dollars to lower class size.

Mayor Bloomberg managed to take that money and raise class size anyway--a neat trick for someone who considers himself so indispensible. Perhaps Ms. Weingarten, blinded by her affection for the mayor, didn't notice.

Good Old Common Sense

Maybe what we need in the US is a dose of everyday wisdom. Why do we need to treat people with all those fancy machines? Who needs all those buttons, knobs and doodads? Here's a doctor who's willing to dispense with all those fripperies and give a dose of good old American know how.

Where Have All the Talking Points Gone?

When I see the abject nonsense put forth by Republicans objecting to affordable health care, I wonder where it comes from. On the one hand, they say government is too inept to run health care. On the other, they say a government plan will be unfair and none of the private companies will be able to compete with it.

Now these are the same companies who routinely refuse to insure Americans who are or have been sick--the same companies that dump people for the offense of getting sick. Personally, I say screw these companies. I'll stick with GHI, the government-initiated non-profit that helped Saint Rudy, vociferous opponent of government-run insurance, when he had cancer.

So where do they come up with those talking points? Probably just the way they do on this video, which is really worth your time:




Video stolen from Millard Fillmore's Bathtub

No Summer School for Me

I just got an email informing me that, for the first time in 20 years, there was insufficient enrollment to offer me the summer college job I usually take. Therefore, I guess I'll have to go to the beach. Or maybe out to lunch. Or possibly travel or something.

I'm acutely aware that, as problems go, this is a pretty good one to have. I put my daughter in a summer sports program for the month of July so we're tied to the old home place for at least that long. But I just want to ask, in lieu of the old, "What did you do last summer?" question, the following:

What are you going to do this summer? I'm used to working, so I'm looking for suggestions from teachers experienced in taking time off.

Fret Not, Elementary Teachers.

Fret less, anyway. A UFT link I found by chance has this to say:

A subsequent agreement reached on June 25 states that the Tuesday following Labor Day will be used “first and foremost for preparation of the classroom and for the arrival of students.” If time permits, the agreement states, the remainder of the day may be used for professional development. Classes will begin for students on Wednesday, Sept. 9.

So perhaps you won't be waking up at 2 AM to decorate your classroom till the kids arrive after all. But it appears they've allowed for some preparation anyway.

Update: Here's a little extra goodie the UFT negotiated for elementary teachers:

The last day for students will be changed from June 25, 2010 to June 28, 2010. On that day, students will be dismissed early.

This is very interesting in that people were speculating as to why that day was on the calendar at all. Could this have been cooked up by the UFT and Tweed well in advance of this agreement?

I don't believe this effects those of us involved with proctoring and marking Regents exams, or those in the building with us, but please correct me if I'm in error.

Further speculation, as always, is welcome.

Eating Our Young

Like just about everyone I know, I'm delighted to have the August Punishment Days canceled. Some of my colleagues feel that was the most odious part of the stinkeroo contract part-time UFT President Randi Weingarten and her patronage mill cooked up in 2005. Personally, I think there are even worse aspects.

Nonetheless this was finally addressed via the despicable practice of "eating our young," or dumping on newbies, a practice much maligned by the UFT aristocracy in 2005, while selling the terrible contract to rank-and-file.

As James Eterno says so well on the ICE blog, this is yet another bad deal from Ms. Weingarten and her sycophants. Why on earth would you pay the city 2 billion dollars just to do something that actually saves the city money? Only our crack negotiating team could envision and carry out a notion like that. New teachers can count on losing 3% of their salaries for an additional 17 years under this deal, hardly the way to encourage people to become teachers.

And James is absolutely right that this is a Tier 5. Sure they don't call it a Tier 5. And they don't call the sixth class taught by most of my colleagues four times a week a class either.

But not all of us just fell off the tomato truck from New Jersey. And happy though we are over the canceled punishment days, there's no joy for me in treating young teachers like this. They deserve better, even if Ms. Weingarten is skipping town and won't have to deal with them anymore.

What No One Will Tell You When You Come to Work at the DOE, Part 1: Classroom Setup

Hi! I'm Miss Eyre. I maintain my own blog, which is updated semi-regularly, at Life at the Morton School. I am going to be guestblogging here every Wednesday for the foreseeable future. NYCEducator does a darn good job with this blog, and the bar is set high indeed for me. Hope you enjoy my writings. I welcome your feedback in the comments here and at my own blog as well.

So without further ado...

What No One Will Tell You When You Come to Work at the DOE

Part 1: Setting Up Your Classroom

This is the first in a multi-part series that may take years to complete. Having earned (and I do mean earned!) my status as a tenured educator in the NYCDOE through (God help us) the NYCTF, I want to share what I’ve learned with those individuals who are just starting out or starting out in a new school. I hope that this advice will be helpful to complete newbies, or to those, like myself, who entirely mucked up their first years teaching and would like to do better.

The more veteran educators out there are likely to not enjoy reading this post. I did not exactly enjoy writing it. But I'm writing this honestly, from my perspective as a younger and newer educator who wanted, above all, to make it to being tenured in this convoluted and occasionally entirely irrational system. I made it. This is what I learned.

My first installment in this series is on Setting Up Your Classroom. No one except a teacher knows what this entails. Even a basic classroom setup requires hours of work for which you are not in any way compensated—including, for the 2009-10 school year, from the looks of things as of this writing, reimbursement for the myriad silly supplies you will be forced to purchase. Surprise and welcome! Get used to it, because this is only the first time you will be confronted with 1.) long, unappreciated work hours and 2.) buying stuff with your own money that you will never see again.

So. Setting up your classroom. I’m going to assume that you are a middle school ELA teacher, because I’m not sure that anyone, save a teacher with an advanced science lab, has a more headache-inducing classroom setup task. You may be able to skip certain steps in this process if you are a different type of teacher or if—aren’t you lucky!—you are a CTT/SETSS/out-of-classroom type person who does not have your own room. But, again, for purposes of our discussion, you have a classroom and you have to set it up. Here are some things to think about.

1.) YOUR DESK. Putting your desk in front and center of the room IS NOT DONE. I cannot stress this enough. It is extremely unpopular and will mark you as a troublemaker right from the beginning. I find that putting your desk in a front corner of the room, far from the door, works well, but you need to find the place that works for you. This is if you have a desk. You may not have one. You are sort of allowed to ask for one, but don’t be surprised if you make do with two or three student desks pushed together, a table, a couple of milk crates, etc. Keep your desk clean. A clean desk invites far less close inspection from your superiors than a messy one. And I should know, having been subjected several times to trying to teach while my AP “casually” looks through every single paper on my very messy desk.

2.) STUDENT DESKS. Putting desks in rows is ALSO NOT DONE. Again, I cannot stress this enough. “But,” you may ask, “doesn’t putting desks in groups invite students to, well, look at each other and talk?” Why, yes, it does. This is the point. Whether or not you agree with this point is beside said point. Put your desks in groups of 4-6. Sometimes you can get away with pairs. In any case, the desks should not be, say, facing the chalkboard. “WHAT?” you may ask. “But how will they see what I’m doing or take notes?” That is a fine question, but again, beside the point. Just put your desks in groups. Trust me when I say that I’m saving you the trouble of having your AP or “helpful” colleague come in and point out that they should be in groups.

3.) CLASSROOM LIBRARY. You may or may not have one of these to begin with. If you have one, congratulations! It must be sorted according to reading level and genre. Were you taught how to do this? No? Learn over the summer. Google “Fountas and Pinnell.” You will come to detest these names. If you do not have one, you will be expected to have one. “But I don’t have any money to buy books!” This does not matter. I like Freecycle for acquiring books. And Goodwill. And stealing (“borrowing”) from better-endowed colleagues.Also, you will need to buy baskets. “Why can’t I just put them on shelves?” This is also a fine question that no one in all of teaching history, including Lucy Calkins* herself, has ever answered. Buy baskets. They are quite cheap at your local dollar store. Start with at least two dozen. Expect to have to get more.

*If you do not know who Lucy Calkins is, learn, and then cry, because she will haunt you for your entire career.

4.) BULLETIN BOARDS. It is a well-documented fact that students simply cannot be successful without having their work, miles of it, with rubrics, task cards, state standards, and thoughtful reflections about the work posted on bulletin boards inside and outside their classrooms. Who puts up these beautiful bulletin boards? Why, you do, silly! And who buys the backing paper and colorful borders and cutouts and mounting paper and whatnot to put on these bulletin boards? You do, of course! And it’s not cheap, by the way. I recycle my border paper meticulously by coiling it up and securing it with rubber bands when I remove it. I also don’t buy the expensive rolls of backing paper—wrapping paper from the dollar store works like a charm. Bulletin boards generally need to be changed at least once a month. They need to colorful and tidy and neatly arranged. Most administrators want to see the work, at minimum, identified with a short summary of the assignment and what unit of study it relates to. Your crazier admins want more information. Learn what your admin wants and do it.

5.) CLASSROOM DÉCOR. Do not buy a dozen colorful posters at your local teacher store and think you’re done. Oh no. Admins want to see posters and charts that YOU have made. In all your spare time, of course. My advice is make nice ones, once, and laminate them so you have them forever. You might have a laminator, film, and, if you’re really lucky, a nice school aide at your school who will do this for you. You might not. Make them relevant and specific to what you do in your classroom. Chart paper is cheaper through ClassroomDirect or a similar bulk supplier than, say, Staples. Your school might give you chart paper, but, then again, they might not. Decorate every available surface—this is NOT limited to bulletin boards. I had posters and charts on every single window in my classroom this year, above bulletin boards, between bulletin boards, etc. I have colleagues who have made clothesline-type things.

6.) STUDENT SUPPLIES. Set up spots in the classroom that students can freely access with little or no help from you. I have a table that holds bins of art supplies, tissues, paper towels, staplers, hole punches, etc. Notice that it does not hold pens and pencils. I have a strict policy about supplying the basics to my students—namely, I don’t do it. They have to be responsible for SOMETHING. I’ll write more about how to make these choices in a later post. I also reserve two shelves on which students keep their class notebooks. They are responsible for picking up and dropping off their notebooks every day. Again, maintain these spots and put some of the onus on the kids for keeping them neat and tidy.

7.) ELECTRONICS. You may or may not have computers, a printer, a SmartBoard, a projector, etc. in your room, but consider these items, if you have them, when setting up. Probably your electrical outlets and Internet connections will only allow you to put them in certain places. You may have to work around them. And no, do not expect that anyone will help you with this. Do the best you can until something catches fire. I’m exaggerating, but only a little—my first classroom was basically a computer lab that I had to assemble myself, and I got no help until maybe the third week of school.

8.) CHALKBOARDS. I hate chalk, and this year I turned my chalkboard into a sort of large easel on which I posted four pads of chart paper. I liked that system because it allowed me to save and laminate (see Item #5) really good charts. This coming year, I may go entirely digital because I got my own dedicated LCD projector and I have a laptop. You may not have these things, but consider carefully how you plan to present information to a large group. Just because the chalkboard is there doesn’t mean you have to use it exactly as intended. I went 180+ days without touching a piece of chalk.

9.) YOUR OWN PERSONAL COMFORT. There are some things you should have in your classroom to ensure that you don’t lose your mind. Unfortunately, a bottle of scotch really should be, but can’t be, included on this list. This is my personal list, but feel free to add or subtract as necessary. Keep these supplies under lock and key by any means necessary. One year I used a student locker on which I placed my own personal lock.I always have: a couple of nonperishable lunches (Uncle Ben’s Ready Rices or similar), healthy nonperishable snacks (seeds, dried fruit, granola bars), Excedrin Migraine and Tension Headache, feminine sanitary items, hand sanitizer, lotion, body splash, lip balm, nice pens and highlighters, a sweater, an extra shirt, Tide Pen/Shout Wipes, extra coffee, and, for those days when you really need it, some chocolate. These are the kind of things you don’t think about until you really need them and you don’t have time to nip out to Duane Reade or a bodega on your lunch period. You rarely, if ever, will, even if you have the good fortune to be in a school located near one. Save yourself the trouble and keep these things in your classroom, and trust when I say that I have needed every single item on that list at least three times during this school year.

10.) TIME. Well, you can’t buy it at Staples. What I mean is that you MUST plan accordingly for classroom setup. The veterans around here won’t like this, I realize, but I don’t know how you get a classroom setup the way that will keep an administrator off your back without coming in three days early. With the status of the "punishment days" unclear, do not expect to be actually given time to come in explicitly for the purpose of setting up your room. You can get away with cutting some corners once you have tenure, maybe, but not in those first few years. Come in on the Monday before school starts and put in a few hours each day. You will thank yourself when you cut out on time on that Friday before Labor Day rather than facing hours more of work on the cusp of your holiday weekend.

Have I scared you off yet? No? Great. (Well, maybe not.) In any case, come back next week for Part 2: Planning Your First Lessons.

Not to Be Missed

Class size champ Leonie Haimson describes NYC's educational banana republic in The Huffington Post.

August Punishment Days Cancelled

I just received an email from Randi Weingarten stating that teachers would once again begin after Labor Day, and that fixed contributions would now receive 7% interest, rather than 8 plus.

I don't know what that may suggest for the coming contract. As you know, there is a pattern set by DC37, of 4 and 4 over two years. Have we bought back one of the most egregious givebacks at the expense of the pattern the city holds sacred (when they need to give us zeroes during a dot-com boom)? Does this mean the UFT will withhold endorsing Bloomberg's opponent? Was this purchased with Ms. Weingarten's NY Post endorsement of mayoral control?

Maybe time will tell.

Numbers, Tweed Style

Over at Gotham Schools, they point out a 4% rise in graduation rates. Elsewhere on the same page, they state the numbers went from 53% to 56%. Now correct me if I'm wrong, as I haven't been in a math class for a while, but it seems to me the difference between 56 and 53 is 3.

And when you factor in other nonsense, like so-called "credit recovery," or whether Tweed actually counted dropouts, it's hard to credit even those three points. I believe the Tweedies have finally adopted the state's methodology of counting those who leave school as dropouts, but it's tough to say how they interpret those regulations.

After all, we're talking about the same people who took hundreds of millions to decrease class size, managed to increase it, yet shouted "Keep it going, NY," suggesting they actually accomplished something.

I don't believe a single statistic coming out of that place. There's liars, damned liars, and Mayor Mike's lovable Tweedies.

English Only Folks Get Together...

...and because they revere our language so deeply, they made it an official "conferenece."

Dog Therapists

I'm inspired by Trash Man's cryptic comment last week to elaborate. The first part of the NYS English Regents exam entailed a lecture about "therapy dogs," something I'd never heard of before. Nonetheless, I had to read the lecture three times to my young newcomers, so I'd say I now know more than most English teachers, who only had to read it twice.

Apparently the elderly, particularly those in long-term care, suffer terribly from loneliness. The lecture contended that specially trained dogs could provide great comfort to such people. Aside from the small errors I referenced yesterday, I got to read some very interesting interpretations from kids who'd been speaking English a very short time.

The most interesting interpretation was this--old dogs get very lonely and are in dire need of therapy. They rarely get visitors, so they need a lot of help. They love it when their therapists give them the attention they don't get on a regular basis. They're particularly grateful when their therapists literally lick away their tears.

Tbere were other interpretations, of course, but I'm generally overwhelmed by the blatant idiocy of requiring kids who've been here less than a year to take this test. I'll help them the best I can as long as this rule is in place, because someone has to, but I'll be damned if I could go to China for six months and pass such a test in Chinese, and anyone who thinks these kids ought to do it should be damned as well. Language acquistion takes time, varies by individual, and to really acquire a language a reasonable benchmark is at very least a couple of years.

Well, I gotta run, because for English and ESL teachers it's another day, another One Million Papers.

Government-run Health Care

The Times reports today that Americans strongly support it, as do I. It's incredible that it faces an uphill battle because industry lobbyists label it as unfair competition. It's particularly ironic because critics of such programs regularly contend that government-run health care won't work well, or provide adequate coverage. If that's the case, why not let the open market, which they so revere, work its magic?

The answer, of course, is that health care lobbyists value corporate profits far more than public health. That's bad for Americans, and it would be refreshing if part-time UFT President Randi Weingarten stood up against the conversion of Emblem Health (which insures most NYC employees) to "for-profit" status. Instead, Ms. Weingarten frets over what percentage of the IPO her patronage machine would get, and bamboozles us with talk of programs as ineffectual as the one NY Teacher labeled a "class size victory."

I happen to be among those satisfied with my health care, but I know how lucky I am. I've seen disastrous results for people under or uninsured, and next month I'm attending a wedding largely motivated by the fact that one partner needs better benefits. That shouldn't have to happen here, and catastrophic medical emergency ought not to be the number one cause of bankruptcy. That isn't the case in any other industrialized country, and there's no reason we should put up with it.

Everyone should be covered in the United States. If Barack Obama succeeds in getting this through, it will compensate in some measure for his abysmal and painfully uninformed approach to public education, which he never deemed good enough for his kids.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Yesterday I read One Million Papers.

Today I have to read One Million More.

You don't know what life is all about until you've read One Million Papers written by kids who don't quite know English yet. Now don't get me wrong, I adore kids like that (for the most part, at least). But it's very time-consuming to read their papers en masse.

Do you know what "luin" means? It means the kid just came from Korea six months ago and cannot yet discern the difference between "r" and "l" sounds. Have you ever eaten a bowl of "soap?" Well, my Spanish-speaking student hasn't actually done that either, but hears the word half in his own language and that's how it comes out.

Now take those perception errors, multiply them a hundredfold, and read pages and pages and pages of them. It can be a long day.

But that's not really the main problem. The worst of it is that the NY State Board of Regents values content and meaning much more than usage or grammar. And so, when preparing them for this make-or-break test, we teach them content, meaning, a dozen literary terms the Regents think people can't live without, but tend to gloss over the usage and grammar we don't have time for. Consequently, our students are likely not to carry basic, necessary skills to college--Regents prep courses are given in lieu of traditional ESL classes.

It's really on our minds that they have to pass the test or they don't graduate. So we have to keep a narrow focus and make them pass by pretty much any means necessary. But our kids would be far better off in the long run if we could just teach them the English skills they will so sorely need later--in college. At that point, habits are more entrenched, and kids will literally have to pay for what we could've given them when they were younger--when they could absorb concepts about language more easily.

It's pretty clear the Board of Regents in New York State knows absolutely nothing about language acquisition.

Nip It in the Bud

I got a very angry email about yesterday's post regarding the dual nature of part-time UFT President Randi Weingarten. And since Ms. Weingarten has finally decided to settle down to the serious business of leading America's teachers off the same plank we walked in 2005, it's worth considering.

Apparently everything is not black and white, I'm simplistic, and not capable of detecting nuance. You can, apparently, support the mayoral control that's degraded our profession and cast hundreds into the purgatory that is ATR, and still support the teachers. And the questionnaire about Tweed is indeed a sufficient response. There's no need to get all radical and oppose the absolute dictatorship that is mayoral control in New York City.

With these words in mind, I reflected back to a simpler time, a world that was (literally) black and white, to wit, The Andy Griffith Show (true devotees regard the color episodes with Howard Sprague as an abomination for the most part). Let's take the most innocent and naive character, Sherriff Barney Fife, and explore his elusive complexity.

Now Barney is a regular guy. Solutions don't pop into his head, so he often exacerbates situations rather than fixing them (much as part-time Ms. Weingarten did in 2005 when she negotiated the worst contract in our history for less than cost of living). Sure he's a boob, but he's got a girl, Thelma Lou, who he takes to the Italian restaurant, and lets her get meatballs with her spaghetti, even if it costs him an extra two bits. He's thoughtful.

On the other hand, what's the deal with Juanita, who he's always calling at the diner (much like Ms. Weingarten is always calling Mayor Mike)? You never see Juanita, but clearly old Barn's got something going on the side. What the heck sort of deal is that for a sworn protector of law, order, and the American Way? Well, anyway, he's a swell guy.

Still, I wouldn't want him as my sheriff. Or as my union leader, part-time or otherwise. Let's hope against hope her successor represents an improvement. If he does, I'll be the first to admit it.

Randi Resigns!

I just got an email stating part-time UFT President Randi Weingarten has resigned and may make her AFT job full-time. Fortunately, in these tough economic times, she does not appear to be taking a pay cut or giving up her chauffeur and SUV. VP Mike Mulgrew will replace her.

It's not immediately clear whether Mr. Mulgrew is intent on continuing Ms. Weingarten's disastrous backward policies. However, it appears she's intent on hanging around for the summer to negotiate a new contract, so don't count on good news anytime soon.

Will Mayor Mike be as cozy with UFT Prez Mike as he was with Ms. Weingarten?

Only time will tell.

She's For It

No, she's against it.

Well, part-time UFT President Randi Weingarten wrote in the New York Post that it's OK for Mayor Mike to keep his majority on the rubber-stamp PEP. After all, Shelly Silver was for it, so it must be OK.

So let's tinker with it a little, maybe give Mayor Bloomberg's rubber stamps fixed terms, and that way they'll fool us into thinking they aren't rubber stamps. Only problem is--Shelly Silver's plan doesn't even call for fixed terms. Silver thinks that placing a couple of parents who can be fired at the mayor's caprice will somehow make the board more democratic.

Checks and balances? For the richest man in NYC? That just won't do.

So now Ms. Weingarten says teachers should be their own checks and balances. By completing a survey she sponsors, which will clearly change nothing, Ms. Weingarten feels teacher voices are heard?

By whom, Ms. W.? And if it didn't change anything last year, what makes you feel this year will be different?

Your members overwhelmingly oppose mayoral control, even as you sing its praises. By failing to oppose it at inception, and failing to oppose its renewal, you directly betray them.

Again.

We need a leader who will stand up and speak for us. We need a leader who will stand up and fight for us.

What we have is a leader who gets behind billionaire despots who'd just as soon push us all into the sea as look at us. No wonder fewer than 25% of working teachers even bother to vote in union elections. They're cynical.

And with good reason.