Out to Lunch

I'll be in Wind Gap Pennsylvania for a few days. Sadly, my laptop is very sick and had to go to the laptop hospital so I may be offline a couple of days.

Enjoy your vacation, if you're having one, and if you're teaching summer school, you have my sympathy. Remember, once you're finished, you don't have to go back until September.

Oops. I meant August.

In Which I Stand on Principle

I got a call this morning at 7:35 AM asking me to sub at the college in which I work, about 25 miles away from my house. Having stayed at the library until closing time the previous evening, I was asleep. But I woke up ten minutes later and returned the call.

Now, the hourly pay is pretty good, and I'm a mercenary whore, so I tossed on some clothes and subbed for three hours. But I wonder...what on earth was my boss doing in at 7:45 AM? I mean, what's the point of even being boss if you have to be in an hour before classes start?

If I were boss, I'd come in around 11 AM, scream at everyone for 10-15 minutes, and go home. After all, who wants to miss All My Children just because of work? When I pointed that out to my boss, she suggested I not open with it in my next job interview. Fortunately, I have no ambition, and I'll always be a lowly teacher.

But here's what really grinds my gears---after I subbed 3 hours, I found there was actually another three hours to sub, and that the teacher had gotten hold of someone else to do it. There I was, with a perfectly good parking space, ready to whore myself out for another 3 hours, and for what?

It turns out that this other sub was not only a mercenary whore like me, but had also put up a sign in the office offering to whore himself out at any time. I mean sure, I don't have any more integrity than he does, but I don't go around boasting about it. It's one thing to be a mercenary whore, but quite another to place signs in prominent places advertising it.

I have scruples.

Catch the Carnival..

... this week at The Chancellor's New Clothes.

Maverick Johny

Well, Ol' John McCain loves our men and women in uniform. That's why he took a position against the GI Bill, and that's why he didn't vote for it. That's why he voted against Webb's call for adequate time between deployment, and that's why he voted against 20 million for the VA. That's why he didn't want to fund safety equipment for the troops he so passionately supports.

He's passionate about our troops, but consistently votes against their interests. If you're a teacher, or anyone who needs to work for a living, you can count on him voting against your interests as well. What else does Mr. McCain stand for? Well, it's tough to say, as he seems to tailor his positions toward whatever he thinks will get him elected on that particular day:



But the media adores him nonetheless. No matter how many of his previous firebrand positions he tosses in the trash, they yammer about what a "maverick" he is. Don't any of these journalists bother to follow the news?

Choose Your Tattoo Artist Carefully...

...or you may regret it. More examples right here.

The Kindness of Strangers

Everyone's favorite chancellor, Michelle Rhee, is out pretending to be Mike Bloomberg again. Here's a recent quote:

"We are finally going to put aside the rights and privileges and priorities of adults" — and return the focus to children, she said.

Mayor Mike said almost the same thing a few years back. It's interesting that, as chancellor,Ms. Rhee would portray education is an incredibly simplistic struggle between children and adults, with only one possible winner. You'd think, "Gee, it must be a pleasure to teach in the DC school system. Boy, those teachers must be delighted to be in those schools and partying 24/7. They must be having dance parties while I'm doing hall patrol."

It's a wonder we don't all get in our cars and look for work there. But let's get back to Ms. Rhee's conflict.

You'd have to ask yourself this--exactly whom do we make the world a better place for? Children or adults? Well, if we're going to pursue this preposterous question, I'd say adults, since we spend most of our lives as adults.

Or we could simply come down to planet earth and ask ourselves this question--what do our children become when they grow up? Please choose one:

a. lawn chairs
b. kangaroos
c. bicycle seats
d. adults

If you answered "d," you've passed NYC Educator's weekly multiple choice exam. Congratulations on your discerning judgment.

Now that we've established our children are going to grow up to be adults, doesn't it make sense to at least offer them job protection? Or should we leave our children to the tender mercies of demagogues like Ms. Rhee? I mean, can we trust her?

PREA Prez sent me here, where Jim Horn informs us of the following:

Back in January Chancellor Michelle Rhee argued for and got the closing of 23 DC Schools, based on the premise of saving taxpayers $23 million. Now it seems that Rhee will use $7.5 million of those saved dollars to bail out five Catholic schools in DC, which are now scheduled to open this Fall as "secular" charter schools.

So I gotta wonder this--if Ms. Rhee has no qualms about misleading the taxpayers (who are, after all, adults, whose rights and privileges and priorities deserve to be put aside anyway), what reason do we have to suppose she'd look after our children? Because make no mistake, Ms. Rhee wants the right to fire working people with no due process whatsoever.

Don't enough people get fired in this country? Shouldn't we be aiming for fewer, rather than more Americans losing jobs for no reason?

And shouldn't our children have rights based on something more secure than the changing whims of Michelle Rhee?

The Middleman

My 12-year-old daughter started recording this show on the TIVO a few weeks back, and I'm fairly certain she and I are the only people on earth who watch it. But it's really offbeat and worth a look. Here's a sample:

Don't Shoot Your Lawnmower with a Sawed Off Shotgun

It can void the warranty.

It Came from Lane 28

My class demanded to go to a baseball game. I checked out tickets to the Mets, which I thought were too expensive--I'm not asking 50 bucks a piece to sit in the bleachers--and minor league teams seem to only play at night.

"I want to play bowling," said one of my students, in the way only an ESL student could, and that was the beginning of our big trip yesterday to a bowling alley. I can't bowl worth a damn, and many of my students were even worse. The highest scoring bowler walked up to the line, rolled the ball with both hands, and somehow managed to hit pins consistently--a gutter ball and then a spare.

One of my students complained bitterly that everyone else kept depriving her of the ball she liked--a green and red affair with an alien painted on it.

"We'll find you another ball." I said.

"No," she replied, "I think this one is magic."

"That's ridiculous," I told her.

She wrestled the ball from her classmate and insisted I try it. I bowled a strike. The next time she gave me the ball, I bowled another.

I've gotta stop hanging around bowling alleys.

Green Dots in Locke (and NYC)

Green Dot Charter Schools have taken over Locke High School in LA, and columnist Steve Lopez of the LA Times sees improvements already. Apparently they've dumped two-thirds of the teaching staff, instituted dress codes for students, and tightened up security considerably.

I work in what's considered an excellent regular high school, but it would be much better if administration were to accept no nonsense from kids. I don't accept it in my classes, but I really can't get involved in the halls as I'm dead certain I will receive little or no backup.

Public schools here are not permitted to mandate dress codes, as Green Dot apparently is. And while Chancellor Klein talks a big game about reporting illegal and dangerous behavior, there's little incentive for principals to cooperate as it may impact negatively on their ability to earn 30 grand in merit pay.

Lopez offers no evidence tenure and seniority for teachers would preclude what's described in the column, or that union contracts stood in the way of any of the changes mentioned. Certainly Chancellor Klein would love to have the option of firing two-thirds of working teachers and replacing them with shiny new Teaching Fellows, TFAs, and newbies at half the salary. After all, there are still stadiums to be built.

Here in NYC, he's got a willing collaborator in UFT President Randi Weingarten, who's partnered with Green Dot to open a charter in NYC. Ms. Weingarten and her Edwize minions insist that what they have at Green Dot is better than tenure. It's difficult for me to imagine that the newly-fired Locke teachers share her sentiments right now. In fact, Green Dot ejects not only tenure, but seniority rights as well. Here's what its website proclaims:

Key reforms embodied in the AMU contract include: teachers have explicit say in school policy and curriculum; no tenure or seniority preference...

Perhaps you're willing to trust the good graces of Green Dot. Perhaps you believe they won't dump you out on the street, as they just did to two-thirds of the teachers at Locke. Probably the teachers at Locke thought that too, or they wouldn't have invited Green Dot in the first place. After all, Green Dot's Steve Barr bought them pizza, so he must be a good guy. Right?

More remarkable than any of this is the fact that the United Federation of Teachers, whose job, ostensibly, is to stand up and negotiate for us, would invite this company into the city.

On May 17th, 2007, the LA Times ran an editorial which stated Locke teachers:

...are perfectly willing to loosen work rules and toss tenure out the classroom window...

I wrote about this story here on that very day, saying:

Green Dot charter schools are interesting to me. I was thrilled when Eduwonk featured its founder, Steve Barr, as a guest blogger. I thought unionized charters were a hopeful sign for innovative education. But it turns out there's no tenure in Mr. Barr's variety of union, and the LA Times urges teachers to toss it out the classroom window.

This provoked a typically vicious response from Leo Casey, Ms. Weingarten's internet mouthpiece:

From the “make up whatever facts fit today’s rant” school of thought, there is the assertion that Barr has thrown tenure out the window.

Mr. Casey, via his link, attributes the assertion to me. However, it was the LA Times who made the remark. Thus, Leo Casey, unelected UFT High School Vice-President, shows that he'd rather libel a working teacher than abide criticism of a charter school boss who explicitly rejects both tenure and seniority.


Working people have it very tough in the USA nowadays. It's simply unconscionable that union officials should be working at making things worse. And despite what the Unity/New-Action machine may tell you, Rod "The NEA is a terrorist organization" Paige admires UFT President Randi Weingarten but not because she's improved the lot of working people.

Leo Casey asks:

...why let the facts get in the way of a good rant?

Why indeed, Mr. Casey? Now that we have more facts about Green Dot, I have total confidence you'll ignore them utterly. You've got your gig, and your two pensions, and really, who gives a damn if generations of Americans will suffer for your willful and unconscionable refusal to confront reality?

PS: At Locke, Green Dot gets just just one more little advantage:

With the help of private donations, class sizes will be kept at about 28 instead of 40.

There's nothing like a level playing field, and Green Dot's sweetheart deal is nothing like a level playing field at all. Wouldn't it be nice if we had lower class sizes too? It's odd we don't. The UFT declared "Mission Accomplished" on class sizes back on April 12th, 2007.

Don't Behave Like a Fool

That's what right-wing commentator Michael Savage's father told him. Now he's on the radio claiming that 99% of autistic children are simply acting out.

I have a nephew with Asperger's syndrome who's better behaved than Mr. Savage.

Taking Care

In one of my college classes, we'd just read a piece that touted the virtues of polygamy, and how convenient it was to have your sister wives watch your children while you were at work. No nasty microwave dinners, no kids fixing their own breakfast--a veritable paradise, according to the author.

None of the women found it an appealing notion, while a few macho guys from various cultures discussed how great it must be to have nine wives. Still, they failed to find any virtue in the concept of polyandry.

The conversation drifted to how government could help out new mothers.

"My friend had a baby, and they gave her seven months of with pay," said one of my students. I think she's from Senegal

"My sister-in-law got 12 months," I told her.

"Was that here?" asked another student.

"She lives in Canada." I said.

"I want to move there," said a young woman from France.

"But things are not bad where you come from, are they?" I asked. "I hear no one works more than 35 hours a week?"

My Asian students looked over at her in amazement. They had never heard of such a thing.

"And everyone gets six weeks vacation. But the new Prime Minister wants to change that," she responded.

"How do you feel about that?" I asked.

"I'm against it," she said.

I can't say I blame her. Like many Americans, I work multiple jobs. It seems like, as far as working people go, our country is moving backwards. When I was a kid I lived across the street from a guy who worked in a Taystee Bread factory. His wife didn't work, and they raised four kids in that house. Today they'd have to apply for Medicaid and live in a tree.

And on a factory worker's salary, that tree would almost certainly not be in a good neighborhood.

Amaze Your Friends

Where did American Teacher get that cool jargon-filled comment? From the homepage listed right there--the educational jargon generator. Be the first on your block to stun administrators with phrases like:

transform developmentally appropriate assessment

or

undefined performance-based infrastructures

or

transition performance-based action-items

or even

cultivate multi-media paradigms.

You'll be the talk of the office as you whiz past their meager comprehension of only the handful of prescribed terms. They'll offer you per-session hours. They'll give you that comp-time position where you can sit in front of a computer and look up the best hotels for weekend getaways.

Maybe they'll even offer you an administrative position. You could be AP, or even principal. I'd say even chancellor, but that office is strictly reserved for non-teachers. After all, who better to run the largest school system in the country than someone with no experience whatsoever?

The important thing is to talk the talk. Anyone can walk the walk, especially if they have the op-ed boards of all the local papers in their pockets.

Ducks at Work

Near where I live, there's a duck pond. There's also a big sign just like the one you see here.

I've lived here for 15 years, and never much thought about it. But I was driving down the road with my wife and daughter, and lo and behold, right in front of us, was a line of ducks crossing the road.

It wasn't smart, I'll grant you. I mean, I wouldn't walk across a busy street like that, particularly if I were with my kids. And this duck had quite a few of them. But what do you expect? She's a duck, after all.

But the cars behind me started honking, imploring me to plow over those birds so they could get to Starbucks and buy that latte, or go home and open up that Hustler mag they'd just bought, or get to their friend's house in time to catch Dr. Phil.

"Why are they honking like that, Daddy?" my daughter asked.

And you know, I had a response right there, right on the tip of my tongue. But I try not to use that sort of language in front of my daughter.

"It's hard to say," I told her.

This Year's Jargon

differentiated intruction
trajectory
paradigm shift
multiple intelligences
community
common planning
common assessment
sub-category
transition

Thanks to Mrs. T. for composing this list. Here is your mission:

When speaking with colleagues, particularly when administrators are present, toss about these terms as much as humanly possible. Do so with absolute confidence, so the administrators think you know what they mean.

When you're convinced they believe you understand all this stuff, go to the classroom and teach the kids, secure in the knowledge that the administrators won't get in your way. If they actually understand all the buzzwords, they'll be happy you appear to be using them. If they don't, they'll avoid you so you won't expose their unconscionable ignorance.

Mass Media at "Work"

Andrew Sullivan writes about a Newsweek reporter interviewing X-Files star Gillian Anderson. The reporter's first approach to Miss Anderson:

I've got to confess. I don't know anything about "The X-Files."

With standards like that, it's no surprise their education reporters are ready to believe anything about "reforms."

Tragedy!

Poor William L. Jews. His compensation package for leaving his position as CareFirst CEO has been cut by more than half. This means Mr. Jews will not get the $18 million severance he was expecting, but will receive less than 9 million bucks. Can you imagine having to get by on just shy of 9 million bucks? I mean, you can't even buy a decent Santa Barbara estate for that kind of money anymore.

Why was this outrage perpetrated? Well, it seems CareFirst is a nonprofit health provider, like New York's GHI and HIP:

In a 65-page order, state Insurance Commissioner Ralph S. Tyler wrote that CareFirst's board had violated a 2003 state law requiring executive pay for the nonprofit to meet a "fair and reasonable" standard. The decision marks the first test of the law, which was passed by legislators furious with Jews for trying to convert CareFirst to a for-profit entity and sell it to a California company.

The proposed deal to sell CareFirst included $39 million in potential bonuses for Jews and led to sharp criticism over the insurer's pay to executives, which helped to scuttle the deal. While executive pay has skyrocketed on Wall Street, lawmakers and regulators have argued that CareFirst should be held to a different standard. The company is the region's largest insurer, but its nonprofit status means that its mission should be to provide affordable and accessible health insurance, they contend.

So that, apparently, is the problem. Had Mr. Jews been successful in converting the company to "for-profit" status, he'd have been able to collect his 18 mil, and policy holders would have been left to pay the tab one way or another. In fact, NYC employees, most of whom are covered under GHI and HIP, are facing a very similar situation.

UFT/ AFT President Randi Weingarten is fighting privatization right now. That's because she'd like a larger share of the IPO to feed her Unity/New Action patronage mill, which now has to sputter by on less than a hundred million per annum. And heartbreaking though her situation may be, the fact is that "for-profit" status will most certainly mean price-hikes and care reduction for most of the city's employees.

There is an intrepid group of teachers fighting this money grab and you can find them right here. Here is their most recent newsletter. And here's something you can do tonight, if you're so inclined:

Our next meeting is Friday July 18th at 6:30pm at 339 Lafayette St. Buzzer #11 Please email us at noprivatization@yahoo.com or call (718) 869-2279

If you're a teacher, don't be afraid to reach out and let Ms. Weingarten know you oppose privatization. Ms. Weingarten, living in a rah-rah Unity cocoon, is blissfully unaware that there are working teachers who can envision the future. Her double-pensioned sycophants are not about to educate her, so it's up to us.

We are teachers, after all. But you're also doing it for the police, the firefighters, and all the hard-working people that make the city what it is.

Skill Sets

I'm teaching college for the summer, so I'm pondering whether or not that makes me a professor. My official job title is "adjunct lecturer," which perhaps suggests I talk all the time. I don't. I'm the listening/ speaking teacher, and it's my job to open up the students (who can be painfully timid).

As a high school teacher, I bring certain tricks of the trade that my full-time college colleagues don't have. For two weeks, several of my co-teachers have been complaining that one of our classes does not participate. Today, two of them revealed that by placing them into groups, they'd gotten them to open up a bit. They were very pleased with this. I'd placed them in groups the first day I saw them, and noticed they did well. I've never had a problem making them participate.

One of my students is a little lethargic. Today he fell asleep in class while I was explaining a task. I looked at him while I was talking, and bent over him in the manner of Vincent D'Onofrio on Law and Order CI. The girl next to him nudged him awake. Moments later he nodded off again, I walked right next to him and continued with the instructions--except I spoke in the loudest voice I could muster.

He woke up immediately, and I didn't lose him again.

I do these things reflexively, almost without thinking. Many of my current colleagues are largely unaccustomed to such situations and don't know how to deal with them. Public school teachers can deal with these things without breaking a sweat.

They shouldn't underestimate us. Teaching isn't easy, but we can do it. It would be a lot rougher for them to step into our shoes.

Hot Links

Leonie Haimson skewers Jonathan Alter.

The Carnival comes to town.

Renowned hedge fund magnate Smellington J. Worthington tells us what's good in NYC schools.

I love quotes. For your reading pleasure, Scheiss Weekly offers 50.

Why Work?

It's not necessary anymore. Beginning August 12th, you can get "Imagine Teacher" and simply do the job on your Nintendo DS. No more crazy administrators, no more op-eds proclaiming you are the scum of the earth, no more nasty personal issues to resolve, and no more hunting down phone numbers of your students' families.

Or maybe it's not so easy after all. The notes say, "The game really begins when you meet some characters who don't want you to succeed. "

Anyway, just turn on your little game and there you are.

What more could you ask?

I'm gonna imagine reasonable class sizes, a classroom with windows, enough space in it to actually fit my students, and a school that's not crammed to over double capacity.

What are you gonna imagine?

Play as a rookie teacher who takes over a class in a newly built modern school. At the beginning your class only has a few kids because most of the kids in town are used to going to a school located in the next town over. It is your job to bring those students back to make your classroom and school the best place to learn. The game really begins when you meet some characters who don't want you to succeed.

Key Features

• Increase your students' knowledge via fun mini games-Teach them writing, science (math & biology), culture (geography & history). Develop their artistic skills like music, drawing, and pottery. Celebrate events including birthdays and the end of the year party.
• Help your students find their true vocation
• Pay attention to your students' behaviors to manage their mood and create the best learning atmosphere-All kids have their own personalities and favorite subjects. Create a seating chart in the classroom to prevent them from chatting, being a distraction or fooling around.
• Create the school of your dreams-Buy or collect new items to upgrade your classroom and school
• Interact with many different characters-Not only do you take care of your students, but talk to their parents and school staff.
• Multiplayer-Connect up to 4 DS a single card allowing you and your friends to play mini-games.

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