Three Interviews

To supplement my income, I've been teaching at colleges for almost twenty years. It's interesting, because the contrast between teaching at high school and college is very stark. In my college classes, even though the students are much older, activities tend to move a little faster, and sometimes a lot faster. There's certainly a difference between paying for education and having your mom kick you out of the house every morning.

When I interviewed for my first college job, the one I'm still doing, I'd just taken off a semester to get my ESL certification. I'd been supporting myself by playing guitar in a wedding band. The money was very good, but I was single then, and the job entailed wearing, among other things, Kelly green jackets with yellow polyester ties. I'd get calls on my answering machine saying, "Friday night wear the red jacket and the black tie." I was ready for a change (and not just a change of clothes) . For the college job, though, the interviewer asked me about playing music for half an hour, never spoke a word about teaching, and gave me the job.

For a while, after I could afford to leave the wedding band, I worked a third job at a community college. For that interview, I put on a suit and showed up at the designated time. There were a bunch of professors in T-shirts sitting at a folding table shuffling papers. The biggest one shouted, "Do you have the degree?" I responded in the affirmative, and he took a copy of my transcripts. "Okay then," he said, "We'll observe you this semester and if we don't like what we see, you won't be asked back." I worked there a few years, and was very popular. My counterpart's method of teaching writing entailed sitting around a table, holding hands, and thinking positive thoughts. Students who wanted to actually write favored my class. In retrospect, maybe he was just smarter than me, as he ended up with far fewer papers to mark (if indeed there were any).

My most interesting interview, though, took place at a Manhattan college. I'd found a textbook I really liked, and the woman interviewing me happened to have written it. I complimented her on the book. We spoke for a while, and she asked what TV shows I liked. I told her I wasn't home enough to watch much TV. "Oh, do you have an active sex life?" she asked. I don't remember how I responded to that. I don't even remember whether I got a job offer or not.

But I'm fairly certain, if I ever get to interview anyone for a job, that I won't be emulating her questioning technique.

Taxes Are for the Little People...

...so John and Cindy McCain didn't bother paying theirs for four years. I guess you just lose track when you own seven homes, like the McCains and their buds. Where do you suppose you or I would be living if we didn't pay our property taxes for that long?

Mr. Klein Takes Credit for a Miracle

I'm going to quote Eduwonk, from an amusing post offering the Cliff Notes interpretation of recent New York State scores:

Anti-Bloomberg/Klein argument: Test score were up all over the state, Bloomberg and Klein are just riding a wave that's out there. In fact, because of everything they've done the scores in the city should have dramatically outpaced the state. It's a failure!

Pro-Bloomberg/Klein argument: Sure, test scores are up everywhere, and that's a good thing. But considering all the challenges in New York City and the fact that the system has 1.2 million kids, these gains are noteworthy nonetheless. The city hasn't always kept pace with the state and has now turned a corner. It's a success!

Of course, Tweed's claims assume the tests are valid. If the tests prove to have been easier than previous versions, their arguments are baseless. There's not much mystery--if the test is X% easier, there should be X% improvement everywhere. And if the test was not different, was there simply a miracle that caused scores to rise all over the state? Diane Ravitch has serious doubts:

How did New York State (and New York City) move from flat scores over the past few years to a phenomenal jump in 2008? Should we call it the miracle of 2008? From my experience with large-scale testing, I have learned to be dubious about any one-year changes that are large, whether up or down. One child may have an amazing improvement or loss, but it is unlikely that an entire district or state will see a sudden change of the magnitude reported by New York State.

I've received email asking other questions about this miraculous development. How did Buffalo and Rochester post bigger gains than NYC, despite a lack of "reforms," and despite fewer resources? Sol Stern, who also questions the validity of Tweed's claims, offers a few figures:

Pass rates in reading have also risen dramatically over the past two years—up 7 percent for the state overall; 6.9 percent for New York City; 12.4 percent for Buffalo; 8.2 percent for Rochester; and 8.1 percent for Syracuse.

Have they got an 80-million-dollar computer system? Have they got merit pay? Don't they too have to follow those state tenure rules that Chancellor Klein claims are crippling the system? And, they haven't even got mayoral control.

How could anyone outperform the city or succeed in any way without mayoral control? Well, Buffalo and Rochester have done it. In fact, while it's true the city hasn't always kept pace with the state, it's still behind the rest of the state. You don't hear Chancellor Klein mentioning that much. Perhaps he forgot. Or maybe he doesn't wish to draw attention to the fact that none of his "reforms" entail things that actually work.

And there is always the spectre of those nasty NAEP scores. The state was flat from 05-07, and the city was flat from 03-07, with notable exceptions for both in 4th grade math.

So why isn't the city doing better? Why is my school running well over double capacity? Why are my students studying in filthy trailers and unventilated closets? Why do we have the highest class sizes in the state? Why aren't we doing better rather than just keeping up and why do districts with fewer resources and "reforms" easily outperform us?

If every single district does better, it's very hard to conclude that Klein-Bloomberg "reforms" have anything whatsoever to do with it. Unless you believe in miracles, and you believe a distinctly different miracle occurred in the city than the one that occurred in the rest of the state.

Do you?

Mr. Klein Ensures His Legacy

According to a DoE press release (Thanks to Norm for posting it) NYC Schools Chancellor Joel Klein has ensured the survival of the large donut machine known as the Leadership Academy by granting it a five-year contract at 10 million bucks a year. As a predictable consequence of Tweed "reforms," the taxpayers will now be picking up the tab.

Ya ever notice schools closing and the DoE explaining it wasn't the principal's fault? Ya notice how they get reassigned to some other place? Those folks are the Leadership Academy principals. All you do is take a 25-year-old who may or may not have a degree, add some indoctrination from Tweed, and voila! You've got a school leader.

Never mind that this particular leader has no notion what it takes to lead a class, having never done so. This leader will not hesitate to tell you how to run your class. And they'll do it the "reform" way, even though Mr. Klein has galloped into the sunset and his beautiful partnership with fellow non-teacher Al Sharpton.

They'll bask in the glow of media acclaim while city kids continue to learn in filthy trailers and unventilated closets with the largest class sizes in the same. Leadership Academy grads will dutifully declare how wonderful it is for years after Mr. Klein's exit. And that's what New York City residents are paying 50 million dollars for.

The Trouble with Liberals

I've had Sirius satellite in my car for almost a year now, and now that I've begun listening to Sirius Left, I can definitively say why folks like George W. Bush end up being President of the United States.

First of all, it took me a while to even be able to listen to the sort of liberal media bias I'd been looking for. This is because Sirius found the woman with the most irritating voice on earth, decided she'd make a good radio personality, and placed her on when I drive home. It's entirely possible that my fellow left-wingers have become accustomed to this voice, have decided it's OK, and are emulating it. Now this, I must say, could be enough to make anyone vote Republican.

Not me though. Not yet.

Because in the morning, Sirius runs Bill Press, who sounds like an ordinary human being. Listening to Bill, I finally hear the sort of partisan spin I'd been looking for. Now, when my Republican friends come into the lounge reciting whatever Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh has said, I know what they're referring to. Consequently, I have no more embarrassing questions like, "Who the hell is Reverend Wright?" Now more to the point, I can simply ask, "What the hell do I care about Reverend Wright?"

But despite being better informed, I'm deeply troubled. This is because on Sirius talk stations (unlike the music stations) there are a lot of commercials. On Sirius left, there are frequent commercials for companies that will either negotiate, refinance, or manage your debt for you, which leads me to believe that

1. Liberals tend to be tens of thousands of dollars in debt.

Another thing I've noticed is that there are an awful lot of commercials for trucking companies. These companies mention their openings, tell of their health benefits, and offer free Sirius satellite in their trucks, if only you'll drive for them. This leads me to learn that

2. Many liberals are unemployed truck drivers with no health benefits.

A very popular commercial is one from some sort of tutoring company. It promises tremendous results if only we'll call. Children who were doing very poorly in school are now Rhodes scholars, all because of one free phone call. I now know that

3. The education system is failing the children of liberals, all of whom are flunking out.

The other education-related commercial I hear is from some guy who turns kids around with a wave of his magic fingers. He was the guy who everyone went to with incorrigible children who could not be controlled by anyone else. And guess what? He'll send you his free CD if you buy his program for the low price of $39.99, and your kids will no longer be rebellious, troublesome, and will all behave precisely like characters from Leave it to Beaver (and not Eddie). Of course, this brings us to the fact that

4. Liberals cannot control their children.

I won't even go into the implications of the Viagra and Cialis commercials. It's just more bad news for liberals. But bad as things are, they could be worse. Over on the Howard Stern show, they're selling an apparatus that will allow you to shave your back hair all by yourself. No more embarrassing trips to the barber shop, and no more begging your girlfriend to shave your back. They even promise it will make you smell better, as Howard's listeners' backs are not only prodigiously hairy, but painfully malodorous.

I can't speak as to the political persuasions of regular Stern listeners, but I'm not likely to join their ranks anytime soon. After all, as a card-carrying liberal I have massive personal debt, the endless job search, and my uncontrollable failing children to deal with.

I don't think I can afford back hair right now.

I Howled Cause I Heard You

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical, naked,

…and I suddenly realized the value of clothing.

I mean, who cares how smart you are? Why can't you walk around the block once in a while? Or ride a bicycle?

And stop telling me you're starving, just because we ran out of potato chips. If you were starving that shirt would still fit.

And really, you ought to get some pants to go with it. This is New York City, not some bohemian nudist colony. Don't we have decency laws? How come you can never find a cop when you need one? This image will stick with me far longer than I would like.

From NYC Educator, who's very happy to be off, if just for a few days, and who's also very happy to be headed to a party with some colleagues.

This howl inspired by Jose (the only math teacher in the world who writes poetry). With apologies to Allen Ginsberg

Congratulations...

...to all my colleagues beginning their summer breaks today. I wish you a happy and healthy summer, and I hope you manage to have some fun, preferably a whole lot.

Special congratulations to those of you who, unlike me, won't be working this summer. I'm glad you haven't turned into mercenary whores and are standing up for what you believe in (or simply spending more time at the beach).

And if there's some secret in how you manage to afford not to work in the summer, please share it. That's something I've wanted to learn for years.

Carpe Canem

Seize the dog!

Test Scores Explode Statewide

Some people say the tests were easier, and that explains it. The state says no, it works very hard to ensure that state tests are of similar difficulty each year.

Mayor Bloomberg, of course, takes credit for this. However, it's incontrovertible that if the improvements were statewide, his "reforms" had no effect whatsoever. Extra test prep was everywhere. If the mayor's "reforms" were working, the city would have outpaced the state.

"Clearly, if it's happening all across the state, it isn't report cards and ARIS and an accountability system and bonuses for principals," said Sol Stern of the conservative think tank the Manhattan Institute."There ought to be an investigation of the whole testing regiment."

Despite this, Mayor Bloomberg is expected to use this development as evidence that mayoral control should be continued. It's deliciously ironic, in an environment so reliant on math scores, that logic plays no part whatsoever in the mayor's calculations.

Perfect Attendance Award

In Chicago, they give you a car. Who cares if you're only 12 years old?

Where Do the Children Play?

There's a question Cat Stevens used to ask over and over (before his interests wandered) and the answer has to be this--not in New York City.

Half of all schools have no place for recess, and minority communities, as usual, are hit the hardest. NY State Senator Jeffrey Klein doesn't want any new schools built without playground facilities, and doesn't want current schools filling yard space with other buildings. This would be a blow to the Bloomberg-Klein "reform" program, which has constructed entire schools out of trailers. Not only did they lack playgrounds, but they lacked gyms, cafeterias, science labs, and, well, everything that wasn't a trailer.

Clearly Mr. Klein, unlike his chancellor namesake, values things other than test scores. This is not the case over at Tweed, where they've turned over their state-of-the-art facilities to a failing charter run by a billionaire. You'd better believe that they're not sitting in some filthy trailer. Courtney Ross, who runs the charter, rejected another site before creating a big to-do at the NEST school, where the parents who'd built it up objected to a charter being dumped on them.

Kudos to Senator Klein for standing up for kids. Perhaps one day we'll have a mayor (or at least a chancellor) who will do the same. Or should we just forget about play and send our kids to work in tall buildings, like the ones in this song?

_


PS--because it's almost summer, I'm offering extra credit to anyone who can name the above singer/songwriter, his preferred instrument(s),or his most famous song.

Everything Is Bigger in Texas

Alternative teacher certification programs in Texas are threatened under a new proposal suggesting that those who teach children ought to have at least a 2.5 cumulative college average. Also, the proposal suggests that teachers should actually have some sort of training before they go to work.

Some in high-poverty schools are objecting, suggesting that this will make it hard for them to recruit. Apparently they rely heavily on college graduates with mediocre records and no experience. This may be yet another factor explaining why the Texas system, the model for NCLB, has such poor graduation rates.

Among other findings, the study showed a relationship between the increasing number of dropouts and schools' rising accountability ratings, finding that the accountability system allows principals to hold back students who are deemed at risk of reducing school scores -- but a high proportion of students retained this way end up dropping out.

What? Manipulating statistics? I'm horrified, of course. Naturally, that would never happen here.

Straight Talk from Maverick Johny

The Eternal Quest

The NY Sun reports that Chancellor Klein, in his search for "accountability," is no longer content to simply blame teachers for his myriad failures to improve public education in NYC. Apparently, the chancellor now wishes to hold schools of education responsible for his failures as well.

If only Chancellor Klein were certifying teachers, the reasoning goes, they'd all be excellent, everyone would be happy, students who came last week from China would suddenly become totally fluent in English, the 80-million dollar computer would suddenly work right, and everyone would forget that this administration can't raise test scores without cheating.

Yup. You don't need to produce results if you have enough places to spread the blame. That's what "accountability" means. I know this because every kid who ever gets kicked out of a class and sent to my office tells me so.

"Why are you here?" I'll ask.

"Ms. Penska sent me."

"Why did she do that?"

"She's crazy. She always picks on me for no reason."

Of course, Ms. Penska usually has a different version (which I'll get to), and the kid, unlike Mr. Klein, doesn't have the New York Post and the Daily News to write editorials pronouncing the absolute guilt of teachers. Fortunately for Mr. Klein, neither of these tabloids has anyone (like me, for example) who bothers to question his assertions.

In other news, young students are demonstrating and writing letters protesting cuts to their schools. Predictably, Mr. Klein blames the state. Apparently, the state wishes to direct the CFE funds toward wasteful frivolities like quality teachers, reasonable class sizes, and decent facilities for children. The chancellor, of course, deplores such nonsense.

As for Ms. Penska, she suggested her student was upset because she declined to allow him to do whatever the hell he liked, whenever the hell he liked, however the hell he liked. In fact, it appears Mr. Klein shares that student's agenda. This may account for why he spends so much time and energy disparaging working teachers.

Hat tip to Chaz

People Will Talk

Mr. Miglio was mad. He hates proctoring, he'd just done two proctoring assignments, and he was just given yet another assignment on a day he thought he had a free period. Plus he had two million exams he had to mark.

He aired his grievances rather freely. Everyone heard.

When he reported for his proctoring assignment, the AP who'd given it to him said, "I hear you're stirring up a mutiny."

Mr. Miglio wasn't receptive. "Who's the rat bastard who told you that?" he asked.

"I'm only kidding around," said the AP, in the conciliatory tone they teach you at AP school.

"Well, I'm not," replied Mr. Miglio. "Who's the rat bastard who told you that?"

The AP was not amused. "Look, I'm just trying to..."

"I don't know what you're trying to do. All I know is some rat bastard reported what I said in the department. Now who was it?"

"I can't deal with this," said the AP. I guess there are some things they don't teach in AP school.

"Fine," said Mr. Miglio, and he walked out.

But he's still wondering who that rat bastard is.

Children First

Affluent children firster.

Suburbs or Urbs?

My POV is very much shaped by the fact that I work in a city public school but send my kid to a suburban public school. Though I teach in a very good city school, I'm continually amazed at the differences, and I always wonder why city kids can't get what my daughter gets--uniformly sane teachers with reasonable hygiene habits, well-kept facilities, windows (that don't open to dumpsters), real classrooms, computers in every classroom, and all the other frivolous luxuries kids have in Long Island.

Here's a case in point--cell phones are strictly verboten in NYC. Though many kids have them anyway, most of us tend to ignore them if the kids are reasonable. In my daughter's school, she arrives every morning and deposits her cell with the teacher for safe keeping. If she chose, she could keep it with her (as long as it stays quiet).

Yesterday morning, my daughter's schoolbus did not arrive. She and her friends waited and waited, but only ended up waiting more. So my daughter called the school to complain. The people at the school told her they would send a bus, and within ten minutes, they did.

In New York City, on the coldest days of the year, kids stood outside and froze because the Tweedies, in their infinite wisdom, decided to cancel their bus routes and didn't want to waste time or effort notifying them. These kids weren't allowed cell phones, and even if they had them. would anyone in their schools have had the power (let alone the inclination) to send out a bus? Who thinks so? Show of hands?

That's what I thought.

So should we model our schools after suburban schools? Mayor Bloomberg and Chancellor Klein don't think so. Better we should hobble unions, make smart teachers leave before they earn high salaries, institute bargain-basement, untested "reforms," and hope for the best.

So far, it isn't working.

Mr. Klein Unties His Hands

A number of articles lately have stated that Chancellor Klein has his "hands tied' because he's required to spend a great deal of CFE funds on low-performing schools. For that, he's said, better schools will suffer. It now appears he may be spending the money however he likes anyway.

Can You Say "No?"

Can you? And if you do, do you really mean it? Because if you can't, you might not want to go into teaching. And you might not want to be a parent, either (though you may not have much of a choice, what with that regrettable inability).

When Steven starts fights in classes, and refuses to do any work, and hands in tests with blank answers, you'd think there would be consequences, and of course there should be. So when Ms. Holloway says, "Forget it Steve, you can't come on the class trip," you'd think that would be the end of it. But it wasn't, so when Steve got on the bus anyway, she had another teacher instruct him off, despite his yowls of protest.

Now Steve had his cell handy, and his mom was just a phone call away. And this, for Steve's mom, was a true outrage. She called the supervisor immediately.

"He really wants to go," she told the supervisor. "If he doesn't go, he might do something stupid."

This was frightening to the supervisor. She hated the thought of being responsible for a child's behavior, so she allowed Steve to go with the other bus. Steve was upset he couldn't stay with his friends and teacher, but managed to get on the trip regardless. All in all, he was doing all right. Consequences? For him? Out of the question.

So naturally, during the last week of school, Steve didn't hesitate to beat the crap out of a kid who liked the same girl he did. So what if the girl liked the other guy better than him? This was a matter of principle. What could they do to him anyway? Suspension? What was that? In school? No problem at all, especially if you don't show up.

But when his class had a party at the end of the year, well, that was something worth coming in for. So he showed up. When Ms. Holloway told him to leave, he just laughed. When she called security and had them remove him from the building, he wasn't laughing anymore.

If only he'd known there could be consequences for his actions, maybe he wouldn't have beat the crap out of that kid. After all, now he had to miss a party because of it, and it was a genuine inconvenience.

Steve blamed the teacher. She should have warned him about stuff like that.

Co-Op City Residents Jump to Conclusions

Residents of Co-op City are demanding that the Tweedies repair the pools at Truman High School. Mayor Bloomberg, who always puts Children First, is sure to get around to it very soon. After all, they've only been out of service for 12 years. Don't they understand a mayor has to prioritize?