I'm a Conservative

After reading George Will’s column over at The Education Wonks, I now realize that he is not a conservative. I am. Mr. Will trots out that old “liberal bias” bogeyman, complaining that too many colleges have liberal professors.

He then gives a few examples and concludes all education schools are biased. His solution? Eliminate education schools. That’s a radical notion. Conservatives, like me, think we should simply improve them, making them more practical.

I’ve had several right-wing dentists, but I’ve yet to come to the conclusion that we need to eliminate dental schools. As long as they can fix my teeth, I don’t much care who they vote for.

That brings up a nasty objection. What about all the certified teachers who simply aren’t that good? Why don’t we eliminate certification since, apparently, it does no good.

Of course there are plenty of "trained" teachers who can't teach. There are also plenty of "trained" people in every profession, without exception, who can't do their jobs.However, I have been teaching in NYC for 20 years, and I've seen firsthand what happens when you lower standards.

While certification does not ensure a good teacher, the inability to pass a basic skills test fairly guarantees a bad one.In the 70s, NYC went from the highest to the lowest standard in the state. It employed thousands of uncertified, under-certified, and unqualified teachers, has been doing so for over thirty years, and over that period it's gone from a world model to one of the worst anywhere. Personally, I do not attribute that to coincidence.

Will thinks anyone can teach. He’s wrong right there. I’d like to see him in front of 34 urban high school kids for 45 minutes. Of course, the incredible cut in pay notwithstanding, he wouldn’t do it on a bet. And he couldn't do it if he tried.

Unlike Will, I believe in old-fashioned family values. I believe we owe every child a good education. I think it’s more important than tax cuts. It’s more important than “reforming” social security. It’s even more important than oil.

Can you imagine what we could’ve done if we’d devoted the trillions of dollars we've spent on the Iraqi war to educating our people? In any case,unlike radical Will, I'd certainly balk at an unprecedented "pre-emptive" war, particularly one with such predicatable consequences. Well-known conservative George Herbert Walker Bush certainly saw this coming.

The only thing more basic and fundamental than education, of course, is health care. As a family-values oriented conservative, I think we need to offer decent health care to all our citizens. It’s the least we can do.

I don’t believe that we need a voucher system. I believe, rather than draining money from the education system that’s made America one of the most successful nations in the history of the planet, we ought to support it and fix it when necessary.

We conservatives do not believe in throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

We like to look at precedents, and at what works. Better education is right in front of our faces. Not to beat a dead horse, but small classes and good teachers, precisely what CFE demands, make good schools. The New York State Supreme Court thinks so too. Radicals like Governor Pataki differ, preferring to save money for tax cuts. That's fiscally irresponsible.

Suburban schools not 5 minutes from NYC are excellent. Hundreds of teachers apply for each opening. They pay teachers well and select the best for their kids. They invest money in school facilities, and place their kids in small groups in clean, modern classrooms. I live there. My kid goes there. Let me tell you—it works.

Radicals, like Bloomberg and Klein, resist these tried-and-true notions, preferring to experiment with untested pie-in-the-sky nonsense.

They cram buildings to triple capacity, break their much-heralded promises about school construction, but lobby endlessly to build sports stadiums for billionaires. They divide overcrowded schools into pieces, and farcically refer to them as “small.” They advertise worldwide for anyone who can meet the lowest standards in the state. They scream about merit pay. They complain about the quality of the teachers their selective process produces, and then blame the UFT, who didn’t hire the teachers in the first place.

Then other radicals scream that the certification process is too tough. Who needs a license anyway? Why the hell should I have to go to college? I want to teach right now!

Conservatives, on the other hand, believe in quality. We don’t think we need to eliminate standards for teachers. We think we need to raise them considerably.

And naturally, we conservatives also believe in the law of supply and demand. We believe if you pay them, they will come. That’s why, when my fellow conservative, Rudy Giuliani, fought his multitudinous lawsuits, he did not hire $35-an-hour lawyers.

We believe in getting what we pay for. And NYC, which has paid the lowest salary in the area, and offered the very worst facilities and working conditions for thirty years, certainly gets what it pays for.

We conservatives want to fix that, and the sooner the better.

The Daily Grind

Tired of teaching?

Why not give it up and open a bohemian cafe?

Too much trouble? At least make sure you know how to get the best cappuccino at Starbucks.

Wabbit Season Has Ended...

So sharpen your pencils, everyone, because it's testing season. If you have kids, lie and say you'll love them no matter how they score. No sense letting them know you're putting them out on the street, because if they do well it may not be necessary after all.

My daughter's in fourth grade and it's very high-stakes in NY. If the administrators are to be believed, her entire future hinges upon her performance this week. Though they told me if she screwed up, she might get another chance in four years to get back on track.

I think that's good for a nine-year-old kid, don't you?

But here's the good news--there are now even more opportunities! Now, in NY State, every year is gonna be a high-stakes test year! Evidently, it's impossible for anyone to learn anything without them. Therefore, every year, teachers will dispense with whatever nonsense used to occupy their time, and get to the serious business of preparing kids for tests. They'll learn all the reading skills, and whatever they happen to be calling them this year.

I love to read. I suspect it's because I've never been taught properly.

Those of us who grew up before the testing craze are beyond redemption. Clearly, we are all a bunch of shameless, ignorant yahoos who should move into trailers and practice sloppy housekeeping. That's all we're fit for.

Because how on earth could any of us know anything without having taken all those tests?

Tier One

I sat today with two very senior teachers, one wearing a “Tier One” t-shirt.

They were discussing the best ways to retire.

“The thing to do,” said Tier One, “is take all your sick days until you have only one left.”

“Why do you do that?” asked the other teacher.

“You do that,” Tier One replied, “so you can drop dead on the last day. The payoff for death while working is much more than you get for retirement.”

Teacher two nodded solemnly.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “But you’ll be dead!” I said.

“Yes,” said Tier One, “But your family will have very fond memories of you.”

Nice Work if You Can Get It

Now that all the ruckus about the contract has died down, Unity has voted itself a raise.

While much of what I read on EdzUp is tongue-in-cheek, I'm told by someone in the know that this part is genuine:

Motion: To approve the following:

Raises for UFT Staff (For Period Covering May 2003-October
2005) Resolution

Resolved, that the UFT Staff will receive the increases in the same manner as those negotiated by the UFT represented school system employees.

Carried

Note that they did not, apparently, vote themselves extra days. They also neglected to assign themselves extra minutes. Since they do not teach, they will not get an extra class.

Nor, apparently, did they see fit to vote for cafeteria patrol, potty patrol, or hall duty.

They did not seem to restrict themselves in being hired for other postions, nor did they grant their bosses more discretion in disciplining them.

I guess they forgot.

Isn't it great when you can simply vote on what sort of raise you'd like? Don't you wish you could do that?

I'd have to conclude that Unity did a much better job during this round of negotiations. Now, if only they'd negotiate a contract like that for us.

Because despite what they want you to think, we're the ones they're supposed to be working for.

Dave Letterman vs. Bill O'Reilly

Well, it's worth a look.

Class Rules

Ms. Frizzle wrote about the various, and often incredibly obvious ways kids deceive her in order to chew gum. They get caught, and simply deny everything. I suppose denial, nowadays, is the American way, but I’m still largely unimpressed with it.

I think it’s very important to have and enforce classroom rules, but I have only two:

1. We will treat one another with respect, and

2. We will use only English in the classroom.

As an ESL teacher, rule no. 2 is the one that gives me the most trouble. I have to constantly reinforce that, or my class will become the same time-waster my high school Spanish classes were.

I won't give kids a hard time about eating or chewing gum anymore, unless they make noise, litter, or otherwise disrupt my class.

If a kid makes a snapping sound with gum, I'll continue doing whatever I'm doing while strolling over to the kid with the trash can in one hand. I'll stand next to the kid, talking only about the lesson, and asking questions of other students, until the gum is spit out.

In our school, many kids have lunch at 8:58 AM. Many more don't have it at all. I let kids bring sandwiches and eat in my class if they like, and if they show up on time.

I suppose if conditions were different, I might behave differently.

Watch and Listen...

..while Jale Shimabukuro plays While My Guitar Gently Weeps on a ukelele, of all things. Very odd and pretty.

via the Reflective Teacher, who's moved.

Do You Talk Good?

There are two models of grammar and language use: prescriptive and descriptive. Prescriptive grammar suggests that everyone must speak precisely as the grammar book dictates. Descriptive grammar suggests than everyone speaks their own languages perfectly, with whatever regional variations that may entail.

I subscribe to the second school of thought, which caused a major disagreement with one of my colleagues the other day. I suggested a student did not belong in ESL, saying, “She speaks English better than me.” The teacher, for whom English was a second language, corrected me, saying “She speaks English better than I,” and gave a long speech suggesting I should not be teaching English, as I was profoundly incompetent.

Nonetheless, “She speaks English better than I,” doesn’t sound right to me. I’m well aware of what grammar books say, having taught them for years. I can accept “She speaks English better than I do,” but without the do, it sounds artificial and pretentious.

I’d say that, whatever regional variations may form their language use, virtually all kids in this country are aware of more of less “standard” American English through mass media. Now Latin, being a dead language, may have stricter rules, but English is a living, evolving thing. No matter how much it breaks our hearts, whom, for example, is probably bound for extinction.

I’d also strongly argue that people who speak by ear are far more proficient than those who need to consult rules of grammar, whatever their languages may be.

Written language is a lot tougher, and there’s far less variation. We all say gonna, but it’s not acceptable in academic writing, which every kid needs to learn.

So what do you think? Let me phrase this as objectively as possible--Was the grammar book carried down the mountain by Moses along with the Ten Commandments, or does language ebb and flow with the tide?

A Good Idea?

Teaching languages at early ages seems a no-brainer to anyone who’s studied language acquisition. But to US Education Secretary, it’s a completely new notion:

Margaret Spellings, the education secretary, said in an interview that efforts to teach such languages as Chinese and Arabic to children as young as 5 were brand new. "We don't know how to do it. This whole notion is in its infancy. But our hope is this is a start, and we can build on it."

That, perhaps, is evidence that hiring education secretaries with absolutely no educational experience can be problematic. The notion, in fact, is as old as human history, and if I can teach Chinese kids English, someone can certainly teach American kids Chinese.

Nonetheless, the notion of teaching languages like Chinese, Arabic and Farsi to young kids is a good one. Young kids are the very best language learners there are, and our policy of withholding language instruction until high school is blatantly idiotic.

In His Own Words

Here's what President Bush said in Buffalo, NY on April 20, 2004:

September the 11th-when the President says something, he better mean it. ..

Now, by the way, any time you hear the United States government talking about wiretap, it requires-a wiretap requires a court order. Nothing has changed, by the way. When we're talking about chasing down terrorists, we're talking about getting a court order before we do so.

What to Do?

This morning we had a bomb scare in our school. What do you do in such a situation? Well, our assistant principal of security, I'm told, proposed to do absolutely nothing.

Fortunately he was overruled by the uniformed security staff, who insisted we at least report it to the police.

I can understand not wanting to send the kids out for what is probably nothing. But there's no excuse for refusing to report it simply to fudge the statistics.

Anyone Ever Drag You to a Concert...

...that would never end? Like some ex-girlfriend who forced you to go to a Yanni concert and it felt like it lasted 639 years? Well, here's one that really does.

I'm not going, but if you do, let me know how you liked it.

We Can't Take You Guys Anywhere

It appears criminal prosecutions of public school employees are up 58% this year. While I haven't got figures on conviction rates, I gotta say that doesn't look good for the DOE and its revolutionary new programs.

So let's give it a break,OK? If you've got a bank job planned, for heaven's sake hold off till next fiscal year. To this chancellor, statistics are extremely important. So please try to show a modicum of courtesy, and if you really can't wait, for goodness' sake, don't get caught!

First Class Education

That's the name of a group led by Tim Mooney, a Republican political consultant from Arizona. His idea is a simple one--put 65% of the education budget in the classroom.

NY State already exceeds that figure, according to the article, though I have my doubts about NYC. There are many who oppose it:

The American Federation of Teachers has not taken a formal position on the 65 percent solution, but Ed Muir, the assistant director of research and education services, indicated that the union was skeptical.

"We don't think this should be a battle between the services teachers provide and other services that are necessary for kids, particularly poor kids," Dr. Muir said. "If you have a problem with spending, you should do something about wasteful spending."

That makes sense to me. In NYC, for example, Bloomberg's created several layers of bureaucracy that could disappear without any detrimental effect to kids. These people go to luncheons, give presentations, and make huge salaries without any direct involvement with students.

As Joe Thomas would say, 65% of inadequate is still inadequate. This could be a Trojan Horse--an attempt to keep more money from going into schools by suggesting the only problem is percentages.

As we all know, 72% of statistics are made up on the spot.

Want to Look Like This?

Sign up for an 8-week complimentary Bally's membership. (After registration, print out the pass and take it there on the 14th and you get full unlimited access to the gym.) (via)

Be prepared to listen to 8 weeks of hard-sell offers. If that doesn't make you want to smash that punching bag, I don't know what will.

Hamill on Toussaint

From today's NY Daily News:

Roger Toussaint is no hero.

But he's got guts. No, he didn't run into a burning building to save a family on Christmas Eve. But as president of Transport Workers Union Local 100 he stood up for his rank and file in this age of union-busting and walked away victorious.

In the end, after the mayor, the governor and Metropolitan Transportation Authority officials branded him a thug and a criminal, after many in the press shamelessly demonized him, he got his workers a decent raise, recovered pension overpayments and sealed a 37-month contract that can only be called a triumph...

Yeah, okay, so the TWU technically broke the Taylor Law when they went out on strike. But, c'mon, this strike was more an act of civil disobedience against an intractable bureaucracy than a crime. To call the TWU strikers criminals is like calling the freedom marchers criminals. Rosa Parks broke the law, too, when she refused to get to the back of the bus. The president of the TWU, as far as I know, wasn't tapping anyone's phone without a warrant, like the President of the United States did.

Toussaint refused to sell out new or as yet unborn transit workers. He emerged victorious in a David versus Goliath battle. That's why, looking back on 2005, Toussaint emerges as one of the people in this city with real guts.

The Gas Wars

Well, no one I know is winning, but I travel 20,000 miles a year all over creation so I'm looking for an edge. To that end, I just bought a new 2005 Toyota Prius. Because it's an 'o5, I got about 900 bucks off the sticker price. An '06 model, with the features I want, would have cost 1800 more at sticker price. Also, they didn't have any.

For purchasing a new Prius, even an 05, (according to my CPA) there's a $3,000 tax credit. Driving as much as I do, I expect to save $1,000 a year in gas if current prices hold, which we all know they will not.

Every Toyota dealer will tell you how lucky you are to see a Prius, and how no one else has them, but I've been to four, and they all had them. All but the one I bought from were asking sticker price for '05 models, which are identical to 06s except for a headlight modification.

If you're in the market for a great, cool car, it's a very good time to buy a Prius. Right now, they're about the same price as Camries. But the tax credit will fade and disappear soon after Toyota sells 60,000 hybrids, which Toyota estimates will occur around June.

Weingarten Accuses DOE of Age Discrimination

Randi Weingarten, UFT President, says a disproportionate number of complaints are aimed against over-40 DOE employees and that this is, in effect, discriminatory.

Sixty-three percent of the teachers' union members are older than 40, but they made up 85 percent of tenured teachers and administrators brought up on disciplinary charges last year.

The DOE denies all charges, and states that it's interested only in Mom, apple pie, and puppy dogs.

Chancellor Klein, however, refused to articulate precisely what was being done with said puppy dogs.

Robot Bartender

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.

The robot serves the perfect drink, then says to this guy, "What's your IQ?" The guy, not all offended, of course, says, "About 150."

The robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics, biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory and nano-technology.The impressed customer thinks to himself: "This is cool."

But he can't help but put the robot to a test. So he walks out the door, returns, and orders a drink. Again, it is perfect. And, again, the robot says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "About 100, I guess."

The robot starts talking immediately, but this time it's about football, NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and buttcracks.Truly impressed, the guy decides on one more test.

He leaves the bar, returns, orders a drink, and, again, is impeccably served. The robot says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Er, about 50, I guess."

The robot says, "So...ya gonna vote for Bush again?"

(From Miss Celania)

A Question of Values

A poster on Edwize complained that I was too harsh on our illustious mayor. "Oldpro" continued:

High School was Algeba, Geometry, and Intermediate Algebra for as far back as I can remember. The one day along comes Sequential Math 1m 2 and 3. New Books, Curriculum, Teacher Training, etc. Now it has been announced that in 2 years it is back to Algebra, Geometry and Intermediate Algebra. Now we need New Books, Curriculum, Teacher Training etc.

Then schools offer the pre algebra, 2 year algebra course and this completes the ACADEMIC math requirement.
Speak about vocational training, after 12 years of math, many students can not compute their hourly earnings,write a check, keep a checkbook or even make change of dollar...

I’ve seen kids in high school who couldn’t read, and I’ve seen this problem passed on, shrugged off, and treated as though it meant little or nothing. I’ve also discovered that NYC has no program whatsoever to deal with these kids, and that many, many teachers can go entire semesters without detecting this problem.

I do not blame Bloomberg for everything. Still, the problems we mentioned don't seem near as important to him as, say, sports stadiums for needy billionaires.

Anyone called "oldpro" ought to know that it’s vital programs be changed every few years so that millions of textbooks can be sold at list price to schools all over the country.

While you can buy a $30 book at Costco for 17 bucks, the city pays full cover price. It's certainly true lower prices could be negotiated for a huge volume buyer like NYC. But canny Mayor Bloomberg finds savings elsewhere, with the highest class sizes in the state, the lowest standard for teachers, and, consequently, the lowest teacher salaries in the area.

There are lots of ways to save money.

The State of the Union

Are you tired of reading namby-pamby, one-sided whining about the UFT at sites like this one?

Start the new year right by getting the other side at EdzUp.

Accountable Talk?

Condoleezza Rice: "[Iraq has obtained] high quality aluminum tubes that are only really suited for nuclear weapons programs, centrifuge programs" and "We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud." -- CNN Late Edition (CNN television broadcast, Sept. 8, 2002).

Vice President Dick Cheney: "I do know with absolutely certainty that he is using his procurement system to acquire the equipment he needs to enrich uranium to build a nuclear weapon" -- Meet the Press (NBC television broadcast, Sept. 8, 2002).

Donald Rumsfeld: "Imagine a September 11 with weapons of mass destruction." -- Face the Nation (CBS television broadcast, Sept. 8, 2002).

Vice President Dick Cheney: ''I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency." (CNN television broadcast, May 2005)

President GW Bush: "The battle of Iraq is one victory in a war on terror that began on September 11, 2001, and still goes on." May 1, 2003, aboard USS Abraham Lincoln, in front of a huge banner declaring "Mission Accomplished."

There Goes Another Year...

We at NYC Educator want to wish you a very happy and healthy 2006.

Thanks for stopping by.

Abraham Lincoln's letter to his son's teacher

He will have to learn, I know,
that all men are not just,
all men are not true.
But teach him also that
for every scoundrel there is a hero;
that for every selfish Politician,
there is a dedicated leader...
Teach him for every enemy there is a
friend,

Steer him away from envy,
if you can,
teach him the secret of
quiet laughter.

Let him learn early that
the bullies are the easiest to lick... Teach him, if you can,
the wonder of books...
But also give him quiet time
to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky,
bees in the sun,
and the flowers on a green hillside.

In the school teach him
it is far honourable to fail
than to cheat...
Teach him to have faith
in his own ideas,
even if everyone tells him
they are wrong...
Teach him to be gentle
with gentle people,
and tough with the tough.

Try to give my son
the strength not to follow the crowd
when everyone is getting on the band wagon...
Teach him to listen to all men...
but teach him also to filter
all he hears on a screen of truth,
and take only the good
that comes through.

Teach him if you can,
how to laugh when he is sad...
Teach him there is no shame in tears,
Teach him to scoff at cynics
and to beware of too much sweetness...
Teach him to sell his brawn
and brain to the highest bidders
but never to put a price-tag
on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears
to a howling mob
and to stand and fight
if he thinks he's right.
Treat him gently,
but do not cuddle him,
because only the test
of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage
to be impatient...
let him have the patience to be brave.
Teach him always
to have sublime faith in himself,
because then he will have
sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order,
but see what you can do...
He is such a fine fellow,
my son!

Update-- letter appears not to have been written by Lincoln. I don't care. I love it anyway and am leaving it here.

A Curious New Blog

Here's a strange one. It's called EdzUp.

Children First?

An anonymous commenter sent me a great article by Bernard Gassaway, former principal of Beach Channel High School and senior superintendent of Alternative Schools and Programs.

Mr. Gassaway, as Bloomberg's employee, was faced with the stark choice of serving either the mayor or the kids, whose interests did not converge.

I represented the children who were on the “long way to go” end of the process. I wanted nothing to do with the bogus talk about test score gains. These so-called gains did not change one thing for the children who I represented. City Hall and Department of Education officials had one goal in mind, get Bloomberg reelected. The Chancellor frequently advocated on television for the Mayor’s reelection. When I first heard this, I remember saying to myself, I do not care about this Mayor’s reelection.

If our educational leaders (superintendents) are silenced, what chance do our principals, teachers, parents and children have? Since no one is willing to tell the Emperor that he is not wearing any clothes, our children continue to suffer. Our children continue to suffer because we fail to come to their defense. Our children continue to suffer because we compromise our principles. Our children continue to suffer because we refuse to listen to them, hear their cries. Our children continue to suffer because few are bold enough to utter a word in defense of them. Our children continue to suffer because our so-called political, religious, educational and community leaders are so weak and paralyzed by complicity or fear.

Here’s my charge to educational leaders. If you are not going to pledge allegiance to children, shut up and continue to do as you are told to do. Do not pretend to be an educator. Do not pretend to be free. Your children will surely follow your lead.

What Do Parents Want?

Well, if you believe the NY Sun, the thing they want most is smaller classes. Other important requests were quality teachers and less overcrowding. Few in the survey, only 2% in fact, accepted Mayor Bloomberg’s agenda as most desirable.

Thanks to Leonie Haimson of Class Size Matters . Ms. Haimson wrote the Sun about this, and most of her letter appears below:

Re “Study: Parents want small class sizes” (December 29):

It is no surprise that New York City parents see class size reduction as their top priority; for more than a generation, our children have suffered by being crammed into the largest classes in the state and some of the largest in the nation. The Court of Appeals ruled that class sizes were too large in city schools to provide our students with their constitutional right to an adequate education.

Though class sizes have fallen slightly in the early grades due to enrollment decline, last year 75% of city districts still reported average class sizes of more than twenty children per class in K-3. Moreover, average class sizes in the middle grades have not improved significantly in the past six years and remain at 28 and above; in most of our large high schools, classes still contain 30 students or more. These huge classes result directly in our abysmal 8th grade test scores and unconscionably high dropout rates. Compare this to the rest of the state, where classes average 20-22 students in these grades.

The biggest outrage is that this administration has no plan to improve class sizes in the middle and upper grades, no matter how much money our schools receive as a result of the Campaign for Fiscal Equity case. And despite the fact that over 100,000 New Yorkers signed petitions this spring to place a proposition on the ballot that would require smaller class sizes in all grades by using a portion of these funds, the Bloomberg administration is attempting to block this question from ever appearing on the ballot, having decided that voters should have no say on this critical issue.

If you wish to write a letter to the Sun about this issue, click here and knock yourself out. However, if you are indeed knocked out, we at NYC Educator are regretfully unable to help you with ensuing medical expenses. We must, therefore, advise all due caution.

Lost in Translation Part 2

No one's a bigger fan of Mike Winerip than I am, but I think there's something missing from his recent column in the NY Times about Somali immigrants. He suggests that they're being denied translation services, and are therefore unable to learn English.

Actually, regardless of which classes they may or may not be taking, it's remarkable for kids to spend two years in the US without acquiring a significant amount of English. Also, while I do not oppose bilingual education, it is not absolutely necessary. Immersion ought to work for anyone. There's something really wrong here.

It could certainly be the inability of some of these kids to read that hinders them in many areas, but they still ought to pick up verbal English.

Winerip says their "English immersion" teachers explain in English and clarify in Spanish, for the benefit of the majority. If you're not an educator, you may be unfamiliar with specific pedagogical jargon, but we in the business refer to individuals who engage in such practices as "bad" or sometimes, the more colorful "clueless and incompetent" teachers.

If these kids were in my beginning ESL classes, I would force them to speak English, whether they liked it or not, by any and all means necessary. For me, that's fairly standard practice.

Those of us who sat through years of language classes, receiving passing grades, but learning little or nothing know this--translation is not, primarily, how kids acquire language.

Participation is.

Shameless Rumor-Mongering

Is the President drinking again?

(via)

What's the Matter with Kansas?

Many things, no doubt, but you won't find them at Kansas-based Red State Rabble, a clever, thoughtful blog that strongly advocates science, as opposed to theology, being taught in the classroom.

If you're looking for common sense (the least common of all the senses), you'll certainly find it there.

More Info on TWU Deal

Schoolgal requested more info on the TWU deal, and UFT members may wonder how it compares to our deal.

They did better than us, as you might have expected, and the UTP Blog has a lot of detail about it.

If you're angling for a UFT job, and prefer unverifiable, irrational praise of Unity, check out Edwize.

More You Won't Catch on Fox

The NY Times reports that some sweeteners were added to the transit contract, and I've received further detail about them from my sources, which pride themselves on being at least as disreputable as mainstream media.

1. TWU workers will now have lifetime health care. While they will pay back 1.5% of their salaries to cover it, they will now be able to retire at 55 without waiting till Medicare eligibility kicks in, a significant improvement.

2. Tier 3 and 4 members had to contribute 5.3% for several years toward reducing the retirement age to 55. This was later reduced to 2%. I'm told many TWU members will now receive refunds between 8-20K.

You Won't See this on Fox 5

A teacher sent this note based on a visit to TWU headquarters on Thurs., Dec. 22, just hours after the strike ended.

“I had a very satisfying experience while delivering a small token of solidarity to Local 100.

“A colleague, the daughter of a career NYC bus driver and TWU member, and I raised some money for the Local's relief fund. We raised about $180.00, a modest sum, but an effort that for the most part was strongly appreciated by most of the staff. You'll also be gratified to know that most of our newer teachers were eager to contribute.

“My school is just over the 59th Street Bridge in LIC, Local 100's HQ is on far west 64th St. and I live in Manhattan, so I thought I'd hand deliver the money. I expected to see people milling around, but the front of the building had just a couple of bored cops and camera crews in front. A man approached me wearing a red and yellow TWU armband around his forehead as a bandanna/doo rag. I asked him if he was a steward or picket captain. He gave me a brief but penetrating look, sizing me up, and then told me he was an officer of the union, a leader in the track division, I believe.

“When I introduced myself and told him why I was there he led me into the lobby of the building and asked me to wait briefly. He got on the house phone and called upstairs. I thought he was talking to someone in their Welfare or Member Services department when they took me upstairs to meet and hand the money to Roger Toussaint.

“I was led into the inner sanctum of the executive offices - which in typical union style were drab and dingy - and treated very warmly by staffers and rank and file members. The overall mood and tone among the people was one of calm and satisfaction. The only news I had heard up to that point was that they had gone back to work without a contract, something I equated with defeat. That was far from the mood in those rooms, which appeared to be peopled with the inner circle of the union. The basic message I got, perhaps more inferential that anything, was that, yes, they had returned to work w/o a contract, but that that was essentially a face-saving gesture for the benefit of the mayor and governor. The deeper reality seemed to be that the basic framework had been agreed to before TWU returned to work and the negotiations "officially" resumed.

“Standing calmly outside his office was Toussaint, quietly urging departing staffers to go home and party. I introduced myself, told him that many UFT'ers admired him and his members' willingness to stand up, and that there were people trying to get our union to do the same. He acknowledged that and asked about our school.

“The spirit in that building was not one of crisis or embattlement, but of strength and calm determination. Whatever the final result of this possibly epochal strike, which involves issues that are just beginning to play out, it was a very nice moment for me personally.”

Our Principal

There's no accountablity over at Unaccountable Talk, particularly if you're an administrator. The principal in that school, affectionately nicknamed "Jerkface," by the staff, strolled in one day and announced that the scores would have to go up. In order to motivate the young tykes, she asked, "You don't want to end up with the same jobs as your parents, do you?"

I'm constantly amazed at how many failed teachers become administrators, and administrate no better than they taught.

Unity at Work

Here’s a conundrum—professional Unity hacks Maisie and Leo Casey wrote columns in Edwize defending the UFT transfer program, which their party's crack negotiating team gave up, for nothing, in the new contract.

Maisie, one of our paid champions, wrote:

…forcing teachers to stay in a school, or go to a school they don’t want to teach in, is obviously a recipe for disaster. Teachers have options, and I bet many would quit rather than be subject to such a policy.

Leo Casey, 6-figure crusader for Unity, applauds her insights:

As Maisie pointed out here at Edwize, only 515 teachers — not even 1% of all the teachers in NYC public schools — took a seniority transfer last year. Even more significantly, only 47 teachers — a little more than .06% of the total — transferred from a low performing school to a high performing school.

Good point. Leo. Too bad you failed to get it across during negotiations. Me, I love options, and took advantage of the UFT transfer a few years back.

It was momentarily encouraging to see voices from Unity speaking up. Sadly, they failed to stand on principle. One can only conclude that Unity, when push comes to shove, has no problem with a policy that would, according to Maisie, compel many UFT members to quit.

The contest between principle and double pensions is a no-brainer for Unity hacks.

More DOE Improvements

It appears that Mayor Bloomberg and Joel Klein, by simplistically determining that test scores are the only criteria by which to judge schools, are driving away middle class students.

"I didn't see things getting better," Ms. Vayer said. "The school increased class sizes, and I felt no attention was being paid to middle-class students who were there."

The mayor, while paying lip service to smaller class size, has done virtually nothing to promote it. In fact, he’s blocked referendums that would have legislated smaller class size, and refused to cooperate with the CFE suit, which would have promoted it.

NYC, disgracefully, still has the highest class sizes in the state. And aside from a few high-profile, high publicity cases, the administration has done little to get rid of poor teachers. In fact, with a contract than worsens working condition while still allowing wages to lag behind the suburbs, he’s made it more difficult to attract good ones.

Everyone knows what makes good schools—good teachers and small classes. By focusing on test scores, at the expense of everything and anything else, Mayor Bloomberg stands to increase, rather than halt the exodus from public schools.

Economic Progress

In case anyone hasn’t noticed, it’s getting tougher to get by in the US. Rent costs are going up, and a wage of 15.78 per hour is said to be the minimum for families who wish to avoid living in a tree.

The US minimum wage remains at $5.15, and has not increased since 1997.

The solution, according to our illustrious president? Huge tax cuts for those making over 300K a year. For folks in that category, apparently, inflation is important. If Steve Forbes is happy, everyone else must be too.

Many low-income people are forced to choose between paying rent, buying medicine, or providing books for their children, Bender said.
"How do people like that have holidays?" Bender asked. "They probably don't."

Here in NYC and its environs, you may have noticed, things cost more than in most of the country. What’s Mayor Bloomberg doing to help?

Watch for a new sports stadium near you.

Those Goshdarn Liberal Professors

Welcome to the United States, circa 2005. It's time again for David Horowitz to try to pass legislation ensuring that liberal bias does not continue to overly infect adademia. It turns out that many highly educated individuals tend to reject Republican politics.

You'd think they'd learn to appreciate gay-bashing, turning back the clock on women's rights, "intelligent design,"and economically crippling wars based on lies, but for some reason, they're not biting.

Thus far, Horowitz and his ilk have seen no need to legislate national health care or living wages for American citizens. It's a question of ethics.

They don't have any.

Bad News for Dieters

The world's smallest Christmas dinner has been sold on Ebay. It came with free pudding!

Just think of all the hours of exercise you'd have saved if you'd eaten that. What a fine example you could have set for your students.

In any case, it's important to teach culture as well, and everyone knows it's a long-established to wait till after New Year's before starting to eat like that.

Politics and Gas are Inseparable

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting pummeled by increasing energy costs. The “raise” that Randi and co. “negotiated” for us will pretty much be swallowed by them, and future increases will have me dipping into my old salary, the one that didn’t involve permanent building assignments and six classes for most high school teachers.

I just opened up my Keyspan bill and barely averted a massive coronary. As a result, I’m seated, catching my breath, and seriously looking into buying a Prius, or some other hybrid vehicle. Here’s an interesting site, for those contemplating the same.

Now you’ve probably heard that the US government grants tax breaks to buyers of Hummers and other gas-guzzling SUVs. (The logic behind that eludes me, but GW Bush is president, and I don’t understand that either.) Nonetheless, there are also tax breaks available to folks buying cars that do less, as opposed to more damage to our environment. The regulations are somewhat complicated, though.

The energy policy bill passed by Congress and signed by President George W. Bush earlier this year is destined to create a frustrating and idiotic situation for many buyers of popular, gas-saving hybrids next year. The problem is the unnecessarily complicated limits that federal lawmakers imposed on the new tax credits for hybrids and alternative-fuel vehicles…

To get the maximum estimated tax credit amount of about $3,000 for a Toyota Prius next year, buyers will have to take delivery of their new, fuel-efficient car between Jan. 1 and -- stick with me now -- the end of the quarter that follows the quarter in which Toyota sells and delivers its 60,000th hybrid. Let me repeat this: A buyer must buy, take possession and put into service his or her Prius during the correct calendar period, timing it to get the top tax credit.

Can you figure that out? It sounds as though you’ll be safe if you buy in the first quarter of January. But who knows?

Update: From USA Today:

Toyota forecasts that Priuses sold the first three quarters of 2006 will qualify for the full credit. Automakers who sell fewer hybrids will be able to entice buyers with the credit into 2007 or beyond.

Diesel cars, though many get great mileage, are not eligible for these credits. (Sorry, Instructivist.)

Happy Holidays...

...to you and yours, from the entire staff here at NYC Educator.

Who Needs English Only?

Here's yet another interesting multi-lingual sign. Perhaps you'd like to go out and celebrate the holidays with a nice "nutritious beef penis in pot," a "nutritious young pigeon casserole," or the apparently less nutritious "fish head casserole."

Those who argue for "English only" here in the US fail to appreciate that ignorance, often, is bliss. More importantly, they fail to appreciate that our policy of having no official language has resulted in English becoming the most popular second language in the history of the world.

Let the French have their academy of language, and prescribe which words people may and may not use. It's like prescribing which days it may rain, and despite their wishful thinking, it won't make French recover its lost status anytime soon.

For now, that honor belongs to American English, which has a longstanding policy of no legal interference, and 100% disregard as to where or whom it steals new words and expressions from. We have a vital and living language, unencumbered by bureaucracy or pedantry.

Still, we have to start watching our diets.

(via)

Don't Fret this Holiday Season

President Bush is on the job.

What he's doing I'm not exactly sure.

(via)

Ho Ho Ho

Today's Daily News reports that Chancellor Klein has lifted his ban on gifts to teachers costing more than five bucks. I'm greatly relieved, as I was dreading having to return that Mercedes convertible, not to mention the chateau in the Ozarks.

Seriously, what I really treasure from kids this time of year are handwritten cards and notes expressing appreciation for what I do in the classroom. They always beat the hell out of yet another bottle of cologne.

More Unity Wit and Wisdom

I recently posted a list of topics forbidden on Edwize, one being the transit strike. An anonymous poster, claiming to be a Unity hack, complained that I was too hard on Unity hacks, and that he made “FAR” less money than I did. I suggested teaching to this poster, since, apparently, it pays so well.

Here is the poster’s response:

NYC Educator or shall I call you Mr. Smarmy,You have no concept of the game of politics, and its complexity. (Not to mention how far reaching the Taylor Law really is. I'm sure you'd like the UFT to get entangled in the Taylor Law penalties for the TWU's strike...DUH.)

Do you see how clever that is? First, he calls me “Mr. Smarmy.” Can you see what he's doing? He’s saying that I’m smarmy, and is therefore calling me Mister Smarmy. It’s like you knew someone who was ugly, and called him Mister Ugly. Do you get it?

Then, the “Unity hack” boldly attempts to read my mind, stating that I’d like the UFT to pay Taylor Law penalties for the TWU’s strike. Not only that, but the poster demonstrates my ignorance that UFT members discussing the strike is unlawful. (Doubtless there are laws against discussing the UFT contract, or the lack of democracy within the union as well.) I must have been brainwashed by all that First Amendment stuff.

But the most devastating blow was yet to come. After the clever quip, and the clairvoyant episode, he cuts me to the quick, with the ultimate insult.

“DUH.”

Words fail me. No wonder these folks win all the elections.

Aside, of course, from a one-sided paper, a one-sided blog, denying the opposition access to mailboxes, and forbidding high school teachers to choose their own reps.

Taylor Law Cuts Both Ways

In case you haven’t heard, the strike’s over, for now at least. But the repercussions for the union are just beginning. They’re going to get socked with the provisions of the Taylor law. But what about the MTA?

According to Juan Gonzalez, they violated the Taylor Law as well.

City union leaders and state lawmakers keep trying to point that out. They say the MTA itself trampled a key provision of the Taylor Law by demanding that TWU President Roger Toussaint accept an inferior pension plan for future members of his union as a condition of a new labor contract.

Section 201 of the law clearly states that "no such retirement benefits shall be negotiated pursuant to this article, and any benefits so negotiated shall be void."

Oddly enough, the TWU is the only entity facing penalties. Why don’t MTA violations get reported in the media?

"If the governor is going to be a tough guy about the Taylor Law with the union, he should be tough as well on the law when it comes to the MTA," said Richard Brodsky, (D-Westchester), who is chairman of the Assembly committee that oversees the MTA.

And No Kissing Chancellors, Either!

For the World Cup in 2006, Germans are contemplating "no prostitution" signs. It's been tried elsewhere in Europe, and it seems to have made an impression. They anticipate fewer pros will be around, and fewer fans will be harrassing women.

It's too bad we can't strategically erect these signs around City Hall and UFT HQ. We could follow them up with "no bureaucracy" areas and signs around schools, but then we'd need to spend all the tax funds on kids, teachers, and school buildings.

Where would that leave our illustrious mayor? And the DOE? And the UFT leadership?

On a street corner, I guess.

Unity Asleep at the Switch Again

Unity tells us how lucky we are that we can no longer grieve letter in our files. The paid Unity hacks who write for Edwize will happily tell you that you’re somehow better off waiting until they accumulate enough of them to fire you before you should complain. While folks who don’t actually work for principals may be comfortable leaving real teachers to their good graces, there are those who’d disagree.

In an extraordinary column, NY Times education columnist Samuel Freedman exposes A Bully on the Wrong Side of the Principal's Desk.

Roberta Lehrman of Brooklyn Tech, a 17-year veteran, and by all accounts an exemplary teacher, had the temerity to speak critically of her supervisor and principal to New York Teacher. Oddly enough, many flaws about her teaching style became instantly apparent to said supervisor and principal.

I’d like to say that juvenile retaliation is rare among supervisory personnel, but anyone who’s worked in NYC for any period of time knows otherwise. It’s folly to put so much power in the hands of principals, and Unity, already defending Ms. Lehrman, should have woken up long enough to keep it out of the contract.

A Voice of Reason

Juan Gonzalez, my very favorite Daily News columnist, writes today that it was the supreme arrogance of the MTA that brought on this strike. While Mayor Bloomberg continues to call the strike illegal and selfish, and refer to workers as “thugs,” he hopes no one will notice that he plans to emulate the MTA by eroding the pensions of city workers as well. In today’s news conference, he made specific reference to a fifth pension tier.

Gonzalez writes that not only the contractual issues, but long-term abuses are at the root of this strike:

Nelson Rivera, shop chairman for the 300 mechanics and car cleaners at 207th St., says Casiano is not the only worker penalized for illness. Another mechanic with 30 years on the job recently had a heart operation.

"When the guy came back to work, the MTA demoted him to security guard instead of giving him light duties," Rivera said. "Since then, he's been disciplined twice and is now facing a possible dismissal in 30 days."

Local 100 President Roger Toussaint has repeatedly complained that the MTA issued a phenomenal 15,000 disciplinary actions against his members last year.

Sure, there are people worse off than the transit workers. Nonetheless, lowering their standard of living will be no help whatsoever to these people. Instead of talking about how bad everyone has it, and how workers need to decrease their benefits and pay, we ought to be discussing ways to raise the standard of living for all workers, not just Mayor Mike and his billionaire buddies who need stadiums. Gonzalez says it better:

Have the rest of us been beaten down, exploited and abused for so long by our own employers that we will allow transit workers who dare to defend their standard of living to be painted as thugs?

To hear Bloomberg talk, the Taylor Law came down with the Ten Commandments - and wasn't a modern concoction by politicians to curb the power and influence of our city's municipal unions.

(Thanks to reality based educator for the pointer.)

Point of View

Fox is Fox, and most people know what that means. I'd read that its local affiliates were not bound by the philosophy that pervades its parent company. Nonetheless, it's hard to miss that, alone among local NY stations, Fox 5 flashes a graphic that shouts ILLEGAL transit strike.

Doubtless when Rosa Parks chose to sit down on a bus, many local media outlets did just what Fox 5 is doing now.

Dear Attorney General Spitzer:

I am very disappointed that you've chosen to bring suit against the TWU.

It is plainly unconscionable that the MTA, with a billion dollar surplus, offers these hard-working people less than cost of living, and demands givebacks besides.They were asked to share the pain when the MTA was broke, and it's only fair that they should share in good times as well.

I have supported you, and voted for you enthusiastically in the past. It will be very difficult for me to support you now in a primary.

I hope you will reconsider this course. I have never voted for a Republican in my life, but if Democrats are now against workers, it hardly seems worth supporting them either.

Kindly come to your senses with all due haste.

Feel free to contact NY Attorney General Eliot Spitzer yourself if you're so inclined. Feeling lazy? Copy my letter and make any changes you feel appropriate.

Another of Life's Mysteries Resolved

Ms. Frizzle's upset that she can't seem to get any marking done. There aren't enough hours in the day, evidently. Ms. Frizzle's preferred form of procastination appears to be house cleaning.

I think it was Quentin Crisp who said cleaning was a waste of time. He suggested that after the first two years, the dirt doesn't get any worse. Despite a lifelong aversion to cleaning, I've found that papers seldom, if ever, mark themselves.

Here's a tip--since Unity's seen fit to commit you to a building assignment for the rest of your life, keep an eye out for one in which you'll be able to mark papers.

And remember, if you don't like your assignment, be sure to do a terrible job so you won't be asked back

Support the TWU

Mayor Bloomberg just got through telling New York that there should be no negotiation until the TWU ceased striking.  Perhaps, in his inscrutable way, he feels that will motivate them to go back to the bargaining table with Kalikow, who publicly announced he’d given them their best and final offer.  More likely it will help prolong the strike.

It’s simply unconscionable that the MTA, which regularly pleads poverty as the reason for not granting raises, should be sitting on a billion dollars and still not see fit to offer even cost of living to hard-working New Yorkers.  If they’re asked to suffer in bad times, simple reason dictates they should share also in good ones.  

The zeal to screw the working man, a by-product of Reagan’s felonious reign, has been peddled to America everywhere, often under the guise of “right to work.”  Thankfully, blue states like NY know better.

The transit workers have drawn a line in the sand.  They’re standing up for us, and for working people everywhere.  Support them, and tell your legislators to support them too.  

Via the Borowitz Report

BUSH TO WORLD: MY BAD

Vows Never to Make Decision Based On Intelligence Again

The Wit and Wisdom of Unity

Maisie, a writer for UFT blog, has been getting upset. Apparently, some teachers wish to discuss the following topics, which Edwize has not deemed newsworthy:

1. The transit strike


2. The contract


3. The lack of democracy within the UFT

Maisie characterizes UFT members discussing these things as ”little kids delighted to be using bad words and getting away with it.” She further illuminates us that we “mostly dump junk on the pile-it’s of no use to anyone.”

It's remarkable that those who represent us, often at six-figure salaries, are unable to discuss such plainly vital issues beyond simplistic ad-hominem nonsense.

At Long Last, an Honest Politician

Congresswoman Ginny Brown-Waite of Florida, when asked what she does in Congress, replied, "I'm a hooker." When asked to elaborate, she added, "That's right. I said I'm a hooker." Ms Brown-Waite continued, "I have to go up to total strangers, ask them for money, and get them to expect me to be there when they need me. What does that sound like to you?"

Perhaps she's the exception that proves the rule

State of the Union

Who woulda thunk GW could sing?

It's worth sitting through the GM commercial for this, so be patient.

A Comment

Maria 1724 asks about this item:

What do you think will be the fall out of the story about this 12 year old kid in Brooklyn who punched the security agent who later died?

Will it wake anybody up as to what is going on in many schools on a daily basis? Is this woman's death going to mean nothing to the DOE?

Anyone care to respond?

Fraud Rules

William Weld, who continues to praise the college that someone managed to run into the ground under his stewardship, wants to be governor of New York.  The problem I have is that he keeps shifting the blame for this debacle.  He says it’s the federal government, or some accreditation council, or this or that.  

That’s disappointing.

Why can’t Mr. Weld stand up and announce his company sucked the resources of the school dry, and once they’d taken every last cent there was to steal, let it drop dead?  Now that’s leadership.  Now some will contend such an admission might dampen his chances of becoming governor.  But his school, in which truant students were given answers to tests in order to qualify for loans, is a model for the sort of thing we can expect under NCLB, and copycat NYC regulations.

Sure they paid people off to shut them up about what was really going on.  But that’s the way things are.  What happened to Randi Weingarten after selling the UFT down the river?  She got on the news, standing behind a real union leader, as though she herself were one. What happened to Rod Paige after he faked the “Texas Miracle” by cooking the books?  He became US Secretary of Education.  What happened to his boss after having led us to a disastrous war based on false information?  He may have actually gotten more votes than his opponent.

Let’s stop the pretense.  Mr. Weld ought to stand up and admit that he’s a fraud, and confess that his only sin was getting caught.  Now that’s the kind of leadership Americans want today.

Apparently.

Rally for Transit Workers

Edwize just posted this notice about a rally to support the Transit Workers this Monday the 19th at 4 PM, at 633 3rd Avenue at 41st Street. They are a real union, and they need and deserve our support.

Note that comments are off on the Edwize post, because God forbid working teachers should have the opportunity to compare the courageous Transit leadership to the impotent and useless Unity hacks who demand nothing for us, accept anything for us, take six-figure salaries and double pensions for themselves, and scribble Unity propaganda for Edwize at our expense.

It'll be a cold day in hell when Unity values your opinion.

Bargain Hunting

Do you need a computer?  A digital camera?  An expensive gift for your principal to bribe your way out of potty patrol?  Naturally, you want the lowest prices, since your increase hasn’t even covered cost of living.

Try using these links, which I’ve collected from friends in the math department.  I’ve found some great stuff here—you can always find the best Dell coupons, and I’ve found things like teddy bears for my little girl as well.  

http://slickdeals.net/

http://techbargains.com/

http://www.edealinfo.com/

http://www.xpbargains.com/

High School Secession Extreme?

A few days ago, I suggested high schools ought to secede from the UFT, since it's opted to deny them representation. I still think that's a good idea. Is there a simpler option?

Sure. Get rid of Unity. Send the self-serving, useless, lying pack of them to Florida, or wherever old slugs crawl off to.

But the fact is, teachers of lower grades, who hugely outnumber us, vote en masse for Unity. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.

Compare our leadership to that of the transit workers. Does anyone really want Randi to lie down for us again? Does anyone really want her hand-picked annointee to follow her time-honored poicy of accepting whatever comes down the pike and using our dues to pay useless sycophants, like the writers at Edwise (whose salaries we pay), to tell us what a swell job she's doing?

Of course someone does. The elementary teachers pick Unity each and every time. That's why Randi, in a blatant blow to democracy, amended the UFT constitution to add them to the pool selecting VPs, and thus deny us our choice.

How can we get rid of Unity when the elementary teachers think they're doing such a fantastic job? How can we get rid of Unity when the elementary teachers stand up and applaud at the concept of more work for less pay?

I'm all ears. And please, if I'm mistaken about the voting majority of elementary teachers, I'd love to hear it.

Watch Your Mouth at Hartford High

Students using offensive language in Hartford, CT face a $103 fine for using objectionable language.

Do you think that would dissuade your students from sharing their frank opinions at inopportune times? And what if someone steps on your foot? What if you slip and fall on a sensitive body part while trudging through the snow to the trailer in which you study (or teach)?

Can you plead circumstances beyond your control?

What Do You Get...

...for the person who has everything?

How about this:

It's a candy. No, it's an electronic gadget.

Maybe it's both!

It's the Pez MP3 Player!

High School Teachers Need Our Own Union

Unity set up the voting system to preclude us from choosing our own leaders. They let all teachers vote for all vice-presidents, so as to keep us, the only contingent that has dared to reject Unity, from choosing a voice that represents our views.

They run a paper that does not reflect our views. They run a website not above having soon-to-retire Unity shills with new names printing lies, and purporting to be voices “from the trenches.”

Most of us will be teaching six classes next semester. We will all have building assignments in perpetuity. Principals can write whatever they wish about us, and the only chances we'll have to dispute letters comes when they’ve amassed enough of them to try to fire us.

For that, Unity cleverly negotiated an increase that doesn't even meet cost of living.

Perhaps a majority of elementary teachers happily embrace the notion of more work for less pay. I’m tired of moving backwards, and so are the majority of high school teachers.

If your building is infested with rats, but your neighbors adore them, the exterminator’s no help at all. Let’s get rid of our problem by seceding from the Unity-infested, undemocratic UFT.

The Lunch Bandit

It was hot, the kind of hot that gets into your skin and comes pouring out every pore of your body.  

Mr. Moskowitz, history teacher extraordinaire, made his way through the mosh pit that comprised the first floor between periods four and five with only one thought on his mind.  And as he was pushed and bumped, purposefully taking two steps forward for each step back, that thought drove him on, on to that next room, until finally, with a last irresistible shove, he ambled into the teacher’s lounge.

Mr. Moscowitz opened the refrigerator with great expectation.  He removed the brown paper bag that bore his name and opened it.  But when Mr. Moscowitz unwrapped the wax paper, he discovered that someone had taken a bite of his salami on rye—the salami on rye that had haunted his every waking moment since midway through his first daily lecture on manifest destiny.

Who could have done such a dastardly thing?

Anyway, It Couldn't Hurt

Chancellor Klein's longstanding policy is doing as he sees fit, when he sees fit, taking credit for all improvements, and vilifying the UFT whenever things fail to work. Much to his amazement, this tactic is not sitting all that well with parents, according to today's NY Times. Apparently, parents of NYC schoolchildren have found the unexpected audacity to demand a voice in the way their children are educated.

Despite spending 100 times what used to be spent on parental involvement, many parents feel shut out of the process, noting that in many cases, parent coordinators have failed even to organize functioning PTA organizations. I know precisely how they feel--teachers have been out of loop since Joel the K. rode into town.

While the Chancellor doesn't give a damn about the parents, let alone their kids, he'll now be placed in the position of having to behave otherwise.

Who knows? It might just force him into doing something worthwhile.

Advanced Problem Solving

A mayor in Brazil is planning to ban death because the local cemetery is full.  Fines will be levied against those who fail to obey the ban.  

Perhaps Mayor Bloomberg should follow in his footsteps and simply outlaw test failure.  

That ought to bring up those sagging statistics.

The Wheel of Blame

Today’s NY Times suggests that Mayor Bloomberg is unable to complete the school construction he’s promised us. He blames this on Governor Pataki, who’s appealing the CFE verdict.

Actually, the judge said NYC could be compelled to provide a share of the settlement. Governor Pataki immediately offered to pay 60% (thereby having the city contribute the other 40), and CFE, the organization that brought the suit, suggested the city pay a more modest 25%, leaving the state with the other 75.

Why should the city pay part of this settlement? Well, the much-lamented ex-mayor Rudolph Giuliani had a curious policy—every time the state raised its comtribution to education, he had the city reduce it by an equivalent amount. In order to gain control of what's now the DOE, Bloomberg agreed to halt this policy. Nonetheless, the damage was done, and the city was expected to pay for some part of the suit. Between CFE and Pataki, there appeared to be a fair possibility of compromise.

So how much was Mayor Moneybags, who so greatly values education, willing to pony up? Not one dime. A representative suggested the city would say “No, thank you” to the suit if it were required to actually pay for any part of it. Hence, Governor Pataki’s appeal.

That speaks volumes of how much this mayor really values education. He can blame Pataki all day long for the lack of space for NYC’s children. But the mayor’s hiding the fact that NYC’s kids are simply not a priority.

If these were sports stadiums, rather than schools, being built for billionaires, rather than kids, this mayor wouldn’t have thought twice about committing hundreds of millions to construct them.

Profiles in Stupid

On November 28th, Zach Rubio was suspended from his Kansas high school for speaking Spanish during lunch. Fortunately, when the district superintendant discovered Zach's principal had done this, he reversed the decision, apologized, and sent Zach back to school with an apology.

We'll see whether that's enough to preclude a lawsuit. The principal, apparently unaware that the US is still, nominally, a free country, also seemed to forget that the school itself had no rule against using languages other than English.

Unity Speaks

The UFT paper says the new 6th class is not a sixth class. They're happy they got the DOE to agree on that concept. Now, all they have to do is convince the teachers actually teaching the sixth class that it isn't a sixth class, and it will, evidently, cease to be a sixth class.

I've just discovered that those of us on extended time schedules will not be teaching the sixth class--we'll just have five longer classes. It's just one more little thing that says "Unity does not value your time at all and is more than happy to bargain it away for a pittance." Still, it beats the hell out of the sixth class in which most of my unfortunate colleagues will be trapped

Unity also urged the city not to send us into the lunchroom until September, though, apparently, it has no right to do so. In fact, according to Unity, the contract appears to be a huge mess of unresolved issues and unintended consequences.

It's too bad our leadership doesn't bother to read agreements before signing them. We will all pay for their lack of foresight, as will NYC's 1.1 million schoolchildren, who seem destined to waste their time after school in classes of doubled and tripled up "small group instruction" classes in which nothing of consequence will occur. The DOE doesn't care whether or not teachers "instruct" within their license areas, and plans to pair you with paraprofessionals, so that you'll be, in effect, teaching 20 rather than ten kids.

Small indeed are the minds that dreamed up "small group instruction".

Making the Punishment Fit the Crime

Last week, a kid gave me a phony doctor's note stating he'd been absent since September because of "leg broke." I showed it to a colleague of mine, who insisted I bring it to the dean. So I did.

They sent the note to the attendance teacher, who did quite a lot of footwork to find out where the kid lived, and his real phone number. She also finally managed to contact the parent, something I'd been quite unable to do. I was seriously impressed.

However, the mother failed to come to school. They're calling her again. If she does not show again, severe measures will be taken.

So, what do you do about a kid who cuts almost three months of school, whose mother can't be bothered discussing it?

In my school, apparently, you suspend the kid for a week. That's a little like sentencing a pedophile to a weekend at Neverland Ranch.

Another Life-Altering Meeting

Well, today we sat in a big room with 7 pieces of paper, and tried, in groups of four, to form them into a square. My group placed two triangles together, dumped the remaining pieces on top, and got into a very lively discussion with the AP in charge over whether we were "cheating," as she put it, or "thinking outside the box," our preferred interpretion.

Many words were written on the blackboard and bandied about, virtually none of which I precisely understood. That is, they made sense individually, but proved problematic when presented in the order chosen by the speaker. Now, I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. I don't like to brag, but I am a high school graduate.

Various of the group leaders went up and assessed the activity. The first teacher wanted to know how this activity would prepare kids for college, where the preferred teaching method was "chalk and talk," the evils of which had formed the basis of several previous meetings. Another observed that it lacked an aim and a motivation, and was therefore of no demonstrable value. The last group leader suggested an excellent motivation: a Get out of Jail Free card, which would relieve the bearer of attending faculty conferences for the entire years it was issued.

That gets my vote.

Intelligent Design—Unevolved Course Outline

University of Kansas students waiting to study "Intelligent Design" are bound for disappointment. The Kansas City Star reports they're pulling the course. Is it a Darwinist conspiracy?

No, apparently university officials are upset by comments made by Paul Mirecki, head of the university’s Religious Studies Department. Professor Mirecki was to teach the course, but pulled the plug after some of his emails to a student site for atheists came to light:

Mirecki repeatedly criticized fundamentalist Christians and Jews and mocked Catholicism...In one of the new e-mails, Mirecki wrote: “I don’t think most Catholics really know what they are supposed to believe, they just go home and use condoms and some of them beat their wives and husbands.”

In Spanish they say "Tiene doctorado pero no es educado."

He has a doctorate, but he isn't educated.

Support Pre-School in NY

Check out Winning Beginning NY, an organization dedicated to shaming Governor Pataki et al into fulfilling the State's promise to provide preschool for NY kids.

Sure, it's important that our legislators go on fact-finding junkets to the Bahamas. Nobody's saying it isn't. But sometimes, they ought to at least give the appearance that they do things for us.

Let them know that this is an opportunity for them to act like good guys, instead of the ruthless whoredogs we all know them to be.

New Math

Instructivist is forever poking fun at all things absurd and incomprehensible in education methodology. But he might be taking it too far with this example:

A farmer sends his daughter and son out into the barnyard to count the number of chickens and pigs. When they return the son says that he counted 200 legs and the daughter says she counted 70 heads. How many pigs and chickens does the farmer have?

Now if that isn’t practical, what is? How many times, for example, have you asked your kids to go out and count the chickens and pigs only to have them return with some sorry old excuse for an answer?

What I want to know is this: How did I manage to raise kids so plumb stupid that they counted heads and feet instead of critters? I’d be busier than a farmer with one hoe and two rattlesnakes trying to make up for all those days I had them shuckin' the corn when they shoulda been cypherin’ over at the schoolhouse.

Or was this whole unsavory mess my fault? Should I forget about educatin’ and just brush up on my communicatin’ skills?

Tarnation, it gets me edgier than a one-eyed cat watching nine rat holes just thinking about it.