I started out as an English teacher, but almost before I could begin, I was dispatched to teach music, math, special ed., communications, parenting (with no experience at the time, and I’m highly grateful that one didn’t pan out), and finally “ESL.” My reaction:
“What’s ESL?”
It turned out ESL was teaching kids from other countries to speak English. I loved it, and when NYC finally offered me an appointment as an English teacher, I turned it down and went back to school instead.
I had to take 12 credits in foreign language in order to get my ESL certification. I took 8 credits in Spanish and four in German, and that was good enough for New York State. At that time, I was not fluent in Spanish, and I found it ironic that a colleague of mine, who spoke excellent Spanish, was unable to become certified because she lacked credits.
When I finally found a job teaching ESL, almost all my students were Spanish speakers. I decided I’d better figure out was they were talking about, so I spent a few summers studying in Mexico, and took more Spanish courses at night. Before I know it, I had 24 credits in Spanish, and for the princely sum of 50 bucks, NY State sent me yet another certification as a Spanish teacher.
My former AP (not the one mentioned here) was wonderful, and when she asked me to teach a native Spanish 1 class, I was happy to do her a favor. The young teacher who’d been leading them had been having problems with the kids, and the AP, apparently, was tired of them landing in her office.
It was fun but odd teaching these kids, every one of whom spoke Spanish better than I did. None of them knew much about writing, and I had it all over them when it came to accent marks, sentences, paragraphs, or discussing literature. But they didn’t hesitate to correct me when I mangled the subjunctive or said por for para, so it was a friendly but spirited battle those five months.
It didn’t help that I’d been placed in Sra. F’s classroom. Sra. F. was from España, and considered any form of Spanish other than that spoken in her country to be an abomination. She never hesitated to share this philosophy with my students, none of whom met her high standards. She judged my Spanish positively diabolical, and made this pronouncement to me, my class, and my AP, on a daily basis. Having failed the NTEs and the LAST tests a dozen times, it was undoubtedly a great comfort to know she was so much superior to us.
One day, when Sra. F. observed I’d written an aim in English, she almost had a conniption. She complained, it seemed, to every supervisor in the building. Fortunately, they’d long ago stopped taking her seriously.
But neither Sra. F nor the annoyingly accurate ears of my students gave me much trouble till the day Oscar asked the question. Nobody’d anticipated it, so it really took us for a loop.
“How come you’re white?”
Absolute silence, and stunned looks around the classroom.
“Well, my mother was white, and my father was white, so…”
“No.” Simple biology was not going to satisfy him. “This is a Spanish class, and you’re a white guy. What’s going on?”
I decided to turn the tables.
“Actually, Oscar, from where I stand, you look like a white guy too.”
“Uh, uh, I’m Spanish.”
Maria, a loquacious young woman who sat in the front, could stand no more. “Uh uh, Oscar, you just as white as the teacher. And you ain’t Spanish. Sra. F. is Spanish.”
“Come on, Maria, you know what I mean.”
There ensued a long philosophical discussion, the conclusion of which escapes me at the moment.
The class, unfortunately, met first period—7 AM that year, which meant that half of it never appeared. Sadder still, half the kids who did show up did no work, so I ended up failing 75% of the class.
I’ve not been asked to teach Spanish again.
But I’m ready.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Don’t Aim—Just Shoot
When you teach in New York you’re required to follow a lesson plan. First, you are to state your aim. Then you are to motivate the class because, as everyone knows, these kids don’t want to learn anything.
—Frank Mc Court
There are certain underlying assumptions in everything we do here in fun city. Frank finds humor in the “motivation,” but I’d move yet another step back and examine the “aim.” When I went to school in Nassau County, there was no such concept.
My theory is that some Board of Education wonk decided one day that if teachers had explicit “aims,” they would magically become competent enough to know what they were doing. There are some small flaws in that theory.
Competent teachers know what they’re doing whether or not they actually post an “aim” on the board.
More to the point, no matter how well-stated the “aim” may be, bad teachers simply cannot communicate much of value to their students.
I post an aim daily, to appease whatever muckety-mucks might be roaming the halls in search of offenders. But I’m 100% sure it has no effect whatsoever on me or my students.
—Frank Mc Court
There are certain underlying assumptions in everything we do here in fun city. Frank finds humor in the “motivation,” but I’d move yet another step back and examine the “aim.” When I went to school in Nassau County, there was no such concept.
My theory is that some Board of Education wonk decided one day that if teachers had explicit “aims,” they would magically become competent enough to know what they were doing. There are some small flaws in that theory.
Competent teachers know what they’re doing whether or not they actually post an “aim” on the board.
More to the point, no matter how well-stated the “aim” may be, bad teachers simply cannot communicate much of value to their students.
I post an aim daily, to appease whatever muckety-mucks might be roaming the halls in search of offenders. But I’m 100% sure it has no effect whatsoever on me or my students.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Rejoice
Frank McCourt has written a new book, entitled Teacher Man. If that itself isn’t good enough news, it can be had at your nearest Costco for a mere $14.19, or even less at your local public library. McCourt writes:
In America, doctors, lawyers, generals, actors, televison people and politicians are admired and rewarded. Not teachers. Teaching is the downstairs maid of professions. Teachers are told to use the service door or go around the back. They are congratulated on having ATTO (All That Time Off). They are spoken of patronizingly and patted, retroactively, on their silvery locks. Oh, yes, I had an English teacher, Miss Smith, who really inspired me. I’ll never forget dear old Miss Smith...
Why did it take 66 years for McCourt to write Angela’s Ashes?
I was teaching, that’s what took me so long. Not in college or university, where you have all the time in the world for writing and other diversions, but in four different New York City public high schools…When you teach five high school classes a day, five days a week, you’re not inclined to go and to clear your head and fashion deathless prose. After a day of five classes your head is filled with the clamor of the classroom.
Imagine how we’ll all be after a day of six classes. Clearly Randi does not read Frank.
It’s a pity.
In America, doctors, lawyers, generals, actors, televison people and politicians are admired and rewarded. Not teachers. Teaching is the downstairs maid of professions. Teachers are told to use the service door or go around the back. They are congratulated on having ATTO (All That Time Off). They are spoken of patronizingly and patted, retroactively, on their silvery locks. Oh, yes, I had an English teacher, Miss Smith, who really inspired me. I’ll never forget dear old Miss Smith...
Why did it take 66 years for McCourt to write Angela’s Ashes?
I was teaching, that’s what took me so long. Not in college or university, where you have all the time in the world for writing and other diversions, but in four different New York City public high schools…When you teach five high school classes a day, five days a week, you’re not inclined to go and to clear your head and fashion deathless prose. After a day of five classes your head is filled with the clamor of the classroom.
Imagine how we’ll all be after a day of six classes. Clearly Randi does not read Frank.
It’s a pity.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
This Year's Model
For over 20 years, I’ve been attending faculty meetings. Several times a year, a weary administrator stands in front of a room, and tells us just how things are going to be:
“From now on, there will be no more standing in front of the room.”
“This year, all student work must be placed in portfolios.”
“The aim must be phrased as a question.”
“The aim must be phrased as a statement.”
“Portfolios are out.”
“There must be bell-to-bell instruction.”
“Instruction must last for no more than 10 minutes.”
All the approaches sound grand when you hear them. Each one is calculated to solve all the ills in education, and finally clear up those lingering doubts about whether or not your teaching techniques are valid. Why, then, do they so frequently contradict one another?
Well, there’s probably validity in most techniques, contradictory or no. The problem is, they’re invariably presented as not only good, but irreplaceable and exclusive as well. Discussion is now useless, because we must work in groups, all the time, every day without exception. Nothing else can possibly work. Ever.
After hearing this enough times, a reasonable mind cannot help but grow skeptical.
Aren’t they simply going to replace this revolutionary technique with something new next year? Won’t they then tell you every minute you’ve spent applying last year’s technique was a complete and utter waste of time? Why should you bother to listen at the next meeting?
Well, it’s not the supervisors’ fault that they’ve been assigned to tell you the newest earth-shattering technique. They’re just doing their jobs. If they’re reasonable (and some are), they won’t insist you use this year’s technique to the exclusion of all others. That, you’ll have to judge for yourself.
Here’s what’s important—these techniques may or may not work for you. One thing the theorists invariably fail to take into account is that teachers, actually, are not donuts, or widgets, and it’s genuinely possible that different techniques may suit different personalities.
When you really find what works for you, you’ve found your own voice. No trendy technique can compete with that. Unfortunately, what works for you may not work for me. And it may not work for the unfortunate group of teachers compelled to sit at the meeting, either.
Why can’t the geniuses who devise these techniques realize that? And why must every new technique supplant every other that came before it?
It seems to me there’s more than one valid approach to communicating and reaching out to young minds. I know what works for me.
Regrettably, it does not necessarily follow that I know what will work for you.
And that’s just one reason I’m not an administrator.
“From now on, there will be no more standing in front of the room.”
“This year, all student work must be placed in portfolios.”
“The aim must be phrased as a question.”
“The aim must be phrased as a statement.”
“Portfolios are out.”
“There must be bell-to-bell instruction.”
“Instruction must last for no more than 10 minutes.”
All the approaches sound grand when you hear them. Each one is calculated to solve all the ills in education, and finally clear up those lingering doubts about whether or not your teaching techniques are valid. Why, then, do they so frequently contradict one another?
Well, there’s probably validity in most techniques, contradictory or no. The problem is, they’re invariably presented as not only good, but irreplaceable and exclusive as well. Discussion is now useless, because we must work in groups, all the time, every day without exception. Nothing else can possibly work. Ever.
After hearing this enough times, a reasonable mind cannot help but grow skeptical.
Aren’t they simply going to replace this revolutionary technique with something new next year? Won’t they then tell you every minute you’ve spent applying last year’s technique was a complete and utter waste of time? Why should you bother to listen at the next meeting?
Well, it’s not the supervisors’ fault that they’ve been assigned to tell you the newest earth-shattering technique. They’re just doing their jobs. If they’re reasonable (and some are), they won’t insist you use this year’s technique to the exclusion of all others. That, you’ll have to judge for yourself.
Here’s what’s important—these techniques may or may not work for you. One thing the theorists invariably fail to take into account is that teachers, actually, are not donuts, or widgets, and it’s genuinely possible that different techniques may suit different personalities.
When you really find what works for you, you’ve found your own voice. No trendy technique can compete with that. Unfortunately, what works for you may not work for me. And it may not work for the unfortunate group of teachers compelled to sit at the meeting, either.
Why can’t the geniuses who devise these techniques realize that? And why must every new technique supplant every other that came before it?
It seems to me there’s more than one valid approach to communicating and reaching out to young minds. I know what works for me.
Regrettably, it does not necessarily follow that I know what will work for you.
And that’s just one reason I’m not an administrator.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Slings and Arrows
It’s always instructive to read Edwize. Let’s see, NYU graduate students are denied representation. Outrageous! NYC high school teachers have the largest student load in the area. Outrageous! Tweed’s latest anti-teacher nonsense. Also outrageous!
I'm surprised, though, to see Unity writers decrying the issue of the large number of students covered by high school teachers. It’s absolutely true a New York City high school teacher can have up to 170 students, the largest student load in the area. And they’re absolutely correct that class size is one of the most crucial aspects of quality education.
What Unity writers fail to point out is that under the new contract, Unity negotiators failed to enact any regulations to reduce class size. Not only that, but with the Unity-negotiated addition of an unprecedented sixth class, NYC high school teachers will actually have a higher student load.
How dare they complain about our student loads? When presented with an opportunity to remedy the situation, they actually managed to worsen it.
After numerous comments that paid Unity non-teachers were dominating the dialogue, Edwize presented a “voice from the trenches.” This voice, however, turned out to be Unity CC Redhog, a regular pro-Unity commenter, writing under another name to in order to pretend he was a typical teacher with no particular agenda.
Redhog, incidentally, revealed to me via email that he plans to retire within the year. He’ll be sunning himself in Florida, perhaps, but certainly enjoying 15% higher retirement pay, with a COLA, a guaranteed raise working teachers don’t get, while we dodge flying tuna sandwiches during cafeteria duty.
And how do Unity writers get on their high horses and demand rights for others when, right in their own house, high school teachers have been denied their choice of VPs since 1994? In a blatantly anti-democratic act, Unity amended the constitution so that we would be forever drowned out by the votes of largely pro-Unity elementary teachers.
It's as though President Bush decreed one day that, for fairness' sake, Alaska, Kansas, and Texas could help New York choose its governor.
Some Unity writers like to invoke the "tradition of union democracy" to justify their tirades against Unity opponents. Nonetheless, they're perfectly comfortable writing for the front page of Edwize, which we support with our dues. They have no apparent problem with the fact that 40% of working, voting union teachers who opposed the contract are offered no representation on that page.
Unity freely distributes pro-contract literature in every school mailbox in New York City. Opponents of the contract are flatly denied the opportunity to do the same.
Such “traditions of union democracy,” as practiced by Unity, led to the fall of another prominent union: the Soviet Union.
It’s time now to take Unity down with it.
I'm surprised, though, to see Unity writers decrying the issue of the large number of students covered by high school teachers. It’s absolutely true a New York City high school teacher can have up to 170 students, the largest student load in the area. And they’re absolutely correct that class size is one of the most crucial aspects of quality education.
What Unity writers fail to point out is that under the new contract, Unity negotiators failed to enact any regulations to reduce class size. Not only that, but with the Unity-negotiated addition of an unprecedented sixth class, NYC high school teachers will actually have a higher student load.
How dare they complain about our student loads? When presented with an opportunity to remedy the situation, they actually managed to worsen it.
After numerous comments that paid Unity non-teachers were dominating the dialogue, Edwize presented a “voice from the trenches.” This voice, however, turned out to be Unity CC Redhog, a regular pro-Unity commenter, writing under another name to in order to pretend he was a typical teacher with no particular agenda.
Redhog, incidentally, revealed to me via email that he plans to retire within the year. He’ll be sunning himself in Florida, perhaps, but certainly enjoying 15% higher retirement pay, with a COLA, a guaranteed raise working teachers don’t get, while we dodge flying tuna sandwiches during cafeteria duty.
And how do Unity writers get on their high horses and demand rights for others when, right in their own house, high school teachers have been denied their choice of VPs since 1994? In a blatantly anti-democratic act, Unity amended the constitution so that we would be forever drowned out by the votes of largely pro-Unity elementary teachers.
It's as though President Bush decreed one day that, for fairness' sake, Alaska, Kansas, and Texas could help New York choose its governor.
Some Unity writers like to invoke the "tradition of union democracy" to justify their tirades against Unity opponents. Nonetheless, they're perfectly comfortable writing for the front page of Edwize, which we support with our dues. They have no apparent problem with the fact that 40% of working, voting union teachers who opposed the contract are offered no representation on that page.
Unity freely distributes pro-contract literature in every school mailbox in New York City. Opponents of the contract are flatly denied the opportunity to do the same.
Such “traditions of union democracy,” as practiced by Unity, led to the fall of another prominent union: the Soviet Union.
It’s time now to take Unity down with it.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Local Yokels
Diane Ravitch, one of the brightest lights in American education, suggests in this week's NY Times we need a national standard for testing. While Mayor Mike got re-elected, in part, on boasts about 4th grade achievement, Ms. Ravitch questions the validity of state tests.
We all know test scores can be interpreted and manipulated, candidate pools can be cherry-picked, and tests can be designed to produce virtually whatever results we desire. Ravitch suggests that, under an impartial national standard, we’re leaving quite a few kids behind, pointedly including Mayor Bloomberg’s NY contingent, whose scores, apparently, were exaggerated threefold for the city that couldn’t wait to re-elect him.
She’s right. It’s ridiculous that people in New York need to read better than people in Utah. I don’t care how many wives you have. They still need to read those pre-nups.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Those Who Can't Teach Gym, Become Chancellor
Mr. Lawrence’s blog is very funny. You ought to check it out. He just wrote about substituting as an elementary gym teacher. Here’s what he likes about it:
It's one of those times of the day in which they are encouraged to run around, screaming, and I can let them. Now, if they moved me from Phys. Ed. to a classroom - like they've done in the past - I'd be the one running around and screaming...
When I read that, I’d just gotten back from explaining to my college ESL class the meaning of "Those who can't do, teach," and followed it with the oft-heard rejoinder "Those who can't teach, teach gym."
I shared with them my secret fantasy of becoming a gym teacher, tossing out the basketballs, saying "Choose up sides and play," and sitting down to a cigarette and a big sandwich , always keeping a careful eye on the watch for the time when I could say, "OK, get back and change."
If only I had thought of it sooner. I suppose I could go get another Master’s, but it’s probably too late to take up smoking, so why bother?
Sunday, November 06, 2005
An Anonymous Comment
I keep thinking about this comment someone left a few days back. It's very clever, and I'm reposting it below:
Here in NYC, a cosmopolitan, sophisticated world class city with numerous museums, theatre, libraries and institutions of higher learning -- here and only here can we have a book smart, university educated membership voting against their own interests.
The taxi driver, the air conditioner repair man, the shoe shine and hot dog vendor all understand the concepts of labor union, working class and give backs. They understand that more time and less rights do not equal more money. They may not understand all the vocabulary in the Wall St. Journal but they understand the word NO and will use it if they need to. No, as in 'no to this contract' as in 'not in my best interests'. The membership ratified the contract because they are not used to using the word NO and they forgot how to say it.
"No, you cannot go to the bathroom. No, you cannot hand in late homework. No, we do not want this contract."
Here in NYC, a cosmopolitan, sophisticated world class city with numerous museums, theatre, libraries and institutions of higher learning -- here and only here can we have a book smart, university educated membership voting against their own interests.
The taxi driver, the air conditioner repair man, the shoe shine and hot dog vendor all understand the concepts of labor union, working class and give backs. They understand that more time and less rights do not equal more money. They may not understand all the vocabulary in the Wall St. Journal but they understand the word NO and will use it if they need to. No, as in 'no to this contract' as in 'not in my best interests'. The membership ratified the contract because they are not used to using the word NO and they forgot how to say it.
"No, you cannot go to the bathroom. No, you cannot hand in late homework. No, we do not want this contract."
Be Careful on the LIE
Apparently, cops are serious about those HOV lanes. A San Rafael driver was fined for having a legless dummy in the passenger seat. Perhaps the cop found the dummy suspicious because it was wearing a Miami Dolphins jacket.
You could outfit your dummy in a Yankee jacket, I suppose. But what if the cop happens to be a Met fan?
You could outfit your dummy in a Yankee jacket, I suppose. But what if the cop happens to be a Met fan?
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Freddy's New Ad
It's a new kind of love story. Though I'd have rather seen him kiss the horse.
You ought to get kissed, for 7 million bucks, I guess.
You ought to get kissed, for 7 million bucks, I guess.
Simplicity Itself
Quality education is elusive. But the reasons for it are not. In New York City, we dump 34 kids in a class and hire virtually anyone available to teach them. The Chancellor and the tabloids whine endlessly about awful teachers. Remarkably, there are many good, even great teachers working here.
The bad ones, though, almost defy description. None would be hired in suburban schools. Many would not be hired in fast food joints.
But awful teachers are necessary, to give the tabloids fodder. The chancellor needs scapegoats to cover his overall lack of improvement, and make no mistake—“reform” is not necessarily improvement. Religiously maintaining the state’s lowest standard for teachers has not brought about improvement. Having the highest class size in the area has not helped much either.
The mayor and the governor volley the CFE case back and forth, neither willing to make the necessary financial commitment to good teachers or small classes. Unlike mammoth sport stadiums, they’re too expensive. They’re not worth it, apparently.
How could we really improve the school system?
A right-wing school teacher acquaintance of mine has a great idea about this. Ordinarily, we argue endlessly about everything. But on schools, oddly enough, we’re almost in perfect harmony.
Require those who administer public schools to patronize them. How are mayors, or chancellors, going to put their hearts and souls into systems they don’t even take part in?
My kid goes to a public school. Make their kids go to public schools too, and you’ll see how fast things turn around.
Do you think Sir Rudy would have suggested compelling welfare recipients to work in public schools if his kids were in attendance? While he may see chronically out of work individuals as adequate role models for your kids, or mine, do you think he sees them as role models for his kids?
I doubt it.
The bad ones, though, almost defy description. None would be hired in suburban schools. Many would not be hired in fast food joints.
But awful teachers are necessary, to give the tabloids fodder. The chancellor needs scapegoats to cover his overall lack of improvement, and make no mistake—“reform” is not necessarily improvement. Religiously maintaining the state’s lowest standard for teachers has not brought about improvement. Having the highest class size in the area has not helped much either.
The mayor and the governor volley the CFE case back and forth, neither willing to make the necessary financial commitment to good teachers or small classes. Unlike mammoth sport stadiums, they’re too expensive. They’re not worth it, apparently.
How could we really improve the school system?
A right-wing school teacher acquaintance of mine has a great idea about this. Ordinarily, we argue endlessly about everything. But on schools, oddly enough, we’re almost in perfect harmony.
Require those who administer public schools to patronize them. How are mayors, or chancellors, going to put their hearts and souls into systems they don’t even take part in?
My kid goes to a public school. Make their kids go to public schools too, and you’ll see how fast things turn around.
Do you think Sir Rudy would have suggested compelling welfare recipients to work in public schools if his kids were in attendance? While he may see chronically out of work individuals as adequate role models for your kids, or mine, do you think he sees them as role models for his kids?
I doubt it.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Get Your Apron Ready
You're headed for lunchroom duty.
UFT Contract passes--63%-37%.
Teachers Yes 39728 No 25962
School Secretaries Yes 2455 No 618
Paras Yes 1325 No 538
Total Yes 54473 No 32144
Total Votes Scanned 86847
Figures from ICE-UFT Blog
UFT Contract passes--63%-37%.
Teachers Yes 39728 No 25962
School Secretaries Yes 2455 No 618
Paras Yes 1325 No 538
Total Yes 54473 No 32144
Total Votes Scanned 86847
Figures from ICE-UFT Blog
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Make Them An Offer They Can't Refuse
It suddenly hit me today--we're going about this all wrong.
Why are we debating about contracts, or whether we need an iconoclastic leader, or good old, reliable Unity? They won't get us what we want.
For many years, we'd heard and read about the custodians' union, and how corrupt it was, and how overpaid they were. They were buying jeeps for their personal use on the city's dime. They were working on their yachts in Long Island when they were supposed to be mopping a floor. They were painting not one inch above 7 feet, because union regs forbade it.
And you'd read about their union heads getting rubbed out on the street over who knows what. Was it true? What's the difference?
Naturally, I abhor violence. But why can't we have a mobbed-up union boss? And please don't lecture me about discrimination, because mobs now come from all over. I've got nothing against Asian, Russian, or South American mobs in our corner. Race is not an issue, and it's utterly beside the point. One mobster is as good as another, say I.
Why bother with PERB? Who needs a bunch of lawyers sitting with calculators figuring how many half minutes we need to add to our days?
We need someone getting us jobs that people really want to have. Do you remember the Sopranos episodes with the dozen guys sitting on lawn chairs at the construction site? Why should Tweed get all the no-show jobs?
"Nice little City Hall you've got here. It would be a shame if anything were to happen to it." Mayor Bloomberg is a businessman, and if that isn't a call to negotiate, I don't know what is. It beats the hell out of waiting till election time, showing him an unsavory ad we paid to produce, and threatening to drain even more millions from our coffers showing it around town.
Screw the cutesy television commercials that say how hard we work and how unappreciated we are. They cost us bazillions in dues, and just make the Daily News that much more vicious when decrying the perfidy of teachers.
While I certainly would never teach my students to leave a decapitated horse's head on the pillow of an uncooperative employer, why shouldn't we send some hearty soul to Mayor Mike's upstate horse farm to let him know we mean business? Even a very highly-paid individual would cost a fraction of what we pay for an ineffectual TV campaign.
I ask you--is it too much to ask the forces of corruption to align themselves with us for a change?
Why are we debating about contracts, or whether we need an iconoclastic leader, or good old, reliable Unity? They won't get us what we want.
For many years, we'd heard and read about the custodians' union, and how corrupt it was, and how overpaid they were. They were buying jeeps for their personal use on the city's dime. They were working on their yachts in Long Island when they were supposed to be mopping a floor. They were painting not one inch above 7 feet, because union regs forbade it.
And you'd read about their union heads getting rubbed out on the street over who knows what. Was it true? What's the difference?
Naturally, I abhor violence. But why can't we have a mobbed-up union boss? And please don't lecture me about discrimination, because mobs now come from all over. I've got nothing against Asian, Russian, or South American mobs in our corner. Race is not an issue, and it's utterly beside the point. One mobster is as good as another, say I.
Why bother with PERB? Who needs a bunch of lawyers sitting with calculators figuring how many half minutes we need to add to our days?
We need someone getting us jobs that people really want to have. Do you remember the Sopranos episodes with the dozen guys sitting on lawn chairs at the construction site? Why should Tweed get all the no-show jobs?
"Nice little City Hall you've got here. It would be a shame if anything were to happen to it." Mayor Bloomberg is a businessman, and if that isn't a call to negotiate, I don't know what is. It beats the hell out of waiting till election time, showing him an unsavory ad we paid to produce, and threatening to drain even more millions from our coffers showing it around town.
Screw the cutesy television commercials that say how hard we work and how unappreciated we are. They cost us bazillions in dues, and just make the Daily News that much more vicious when decrying the perfidy of teachers.
While I certainly would never teach my students to leave a decapitated horse's head on the pillow of an uncooperative employer, why shouldn't we send some hearty soul to Mayor Mike's upstate horse farm to let him know we mean business? Even a very highly-paid individual would cost a fraction of what we pay for an ineffectual TV campaign.
I ask you--is it too much to ask the forces of corruption to align themselves with us for a change?
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
The Dumb Class
Imagine yourself, the first day at a new school.
“We’re giving you the dumb class, Ms. D.”
“The dumb class? What’s that? Why am I teaching it?”
Well, Ms. D., they can’t learn, and you can’t teach, so putting you together is a thing of beauty.”
It’s a long-standing tradition to dump the very worst programs on new teachers, and then fine-tune them to make them even worse. That’s what happened to me when I started. I toyed with an offer of driving a FedEx Truck, which actually paid a little more at the time.
My first job was awful. I started with 4 programs, and then they took one of my classes away and gave me a fifth—I kid you not. It’s a wonder I stayed, because my first semester was pure hell.
I think this—if you’re smart, and you like kids, you’ll probably be a good teacher. Lord knows NYC’s kids need you.
It’s too bad we still drive so many young teachers away, though. I got to really love it after the first 6 months or so.
“We’re giving you the dumb class, Ms. D.”
“The dumb class? What’s that? Why am I teaching it?”
Well, Ms. D., they can’t learn, and you can’t teach, so putting you together is a thing of beauty.”
It’s a long-standing tradition to dump the very worst programs on new teachers, and then fine-tune them to make them even worse. That’s what happened to me when I started. I toyed with an offer of driving a FedEx Truck, which actually paid a little more at the time.
My first job was awful. I started with 4 programs, and then they took one of my classes away and gave me a fifth—I kid you not. It’s a wonder I stayed, because my first semester was pure hell.
I think this—if you’re smart, and you like kids, you’ll probably be a good teacher. Lord knows NYC’s kids need you.
It’s too bad we still drive so many young teachers away, though. I got to really love it after the first 6 months or so.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Remembering Sir Rudy
Do you ever notice you never see Rudy Giuliani and Osama Bin Laden in the same place? I mean, think about it—who actually benefited from 9/11 besides these two? Is it a Superman/ Clark Kent thing? No wonder they still haven't found Osama.
Seriously, 9/11 revived Rudy’s career—one day he was a bum, the next, a saint.
This is the same Rudy Giuliani who proposed forcing welfare recipients to work in NYC schools. He figured people chronically unable to find work were adequate role models for the city 1.1 million kids. After all, his kids didn’t attend public schools anyway. When people complained, he got on his high horse, accused them of racism, and quietly ditched the plan.
He made Bill Clinton look like an altar boy, going to court to demand the right to bring his mistress into the home he shared with his wife and two young children Should Rudy have the audacity to run for Prez, and there's no indication he doesn't, how Clinton bashers will rationalize supporting him is beyond me.
Rudy, despite advice to the contrary, insisted on placing his emergency command post on the 20th some odd floor of the WTC, a demonstrated target for terrorists. The press made nothing of that, and after it was destroyed Rudy commandeered a public school to replace it, doubtless figuring it had no value whatsoever. Parents of the dispersed children failed to share his point of view, and many sent their kids to private schools rather than have them shoveled slapdash into overcrowded, unfamiliar buildings.
Rudy presided over the worst disaster in NYC history. FDNY members ran into crumbling buildings, many lost their lives, and Rudy got all the credit.
Al Sharpton said Bozo the Clown could have done as well as Rudy.
Despite term limits, Rudy suggested he needed to stay on. Unlike Roosevelt and Lincoln, who stood for re-election in times of crisis, Rudy felt a need to unilaterally extend his term, in order to “keep up the morale” of NYPD and FDNY, to whom he’d been denying a contract for years.
By then, NYPD, who’d once supported him, had begun actively demonstrating against him, calling Rudy a traitor. That did not dissuade Rudy that they needed him. The press and public found Rudy’s idea preposterous and repugnant, said so, and some advisor must have persuaded him to change his mind.
Then, of course, he got knighted, and became Time’s Man of the Year. The rest is history.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
It's Staff Training Time!
"Has anyone here ever had to make a very important decision? Please raise your hand if you have."
"Everyone? That's great. Please take 3 or 4 minutes and write a paragraph describing the decision you made."
"OK. Maria, would you please tell us about your decision? How about you, Kai?"
"We're going to read a poem now in which the writer makes an important decision. It's called The Road Not Taken, and it was written by Robert Frost."
That may sound like a "motivation" and a "do now," but it isn't. It's called "triple A." It was all part of a riveting presentation given in my region by various 6-figure members of Klein's army.
The gist of it is this--we're no longer doing "motivation" and "do now." We're doing "triple A." These people are geniuses. They certainly deserve to be paid more than lowly teachers like us. I, for one, could never have come up with such a concept.
The presentation, consisting entirely of what you read above, took three hours. You can imagine how thrilled we must have been.
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see what they come up with for Election Day.
"Everyone? That's great. Please take 3 or 4 minutes and write a paragraph describing the decision you made."
"OK. Maria, would you please tell us about your decision? How about you, Kai?"
"We're going to read a poem now in which the writer makes an important decision. It's called The Road Not Taken, and it was written by Robert Frost."
That may sound like a "motivation" and a "do now," but it isn't. It's called "triple A." It was all part of a riveting presentation given in my region by various 6-figure members of Klein's army.
The gist of it is this--we're no longer doing "motivation" and "do now." We're doing "triple A." These people are geniuses. They certainly deserve to be paid more than lowly teachers like us. I, for one, could never have come up with such a concept.
The presentation, consisting entirely of what you read above, took three hours. You can imagine how thrilled we must have been.
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see what they come up with for Election Day.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Smile Pretty
Do you ever wonder how good the union plan dentists are? I’ve had some very good ones. But you have to be careful.
I took my 9-year-old daughter to an orthodontist who came highly recommended. He accepted UFT insurance, and his staff talked him up as though he were a god. The orthodontist told me my daughter would have to wear this awful night-brace appliance 18 hours a day for two years—in the night when she slept, and whenever she was at home.
I told the doctor she was very physically active, and that I could not imagine her wearing this bizarre implement for so long. The doctor told me the alternative was removal of four of her adult teeth, and braces in any case. He said it was better he worked with the kids early so he could be their “buddy.” He also informed me this treatment would cost $3,000 more than the plan would pay, and gave me a coupon book to pay over three or four years.
It pained me to see her wearing that thing.
A few days later, I told one of my colleagues, and he told me he had brought his daughter to the same doctor, with the same prognosis. He then took her to two non-plan orthodontists, who said the night-brace was unnecessary. Shortly thereafter, they told me the same thing. One said he hadn’t used such a device in twenty-five years. The other told me such incidences were a problem with insurance-driven practices. They both agreed she had a moderate problem that would require braces within a few years.
And both charged less than the UFT-plan orthodontist.
Orthodontists who prescribe kids night-braces belong in prison, right along the guys who record Mozart with disco dance tracks.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Count on Unity
We can always count on Unity. During the boom years of the nineties, they negotiated zero percent increases for teachers. Now, while NYC has a surplus, they give away the store and get us less than cost of living. They tell us that’s the best they can do, and claim anyone who disagrees is delusional.
Count on Unity, through bad times, to assure us that a bad contract is the best they can get, and through good times, to get us nothing or damn near close to it.
Unity propaganda tells you how anti-union the country is, and they’re right. They tell you the awful things the Bush White House lets corporations get away with, and they’re right. They tell you that nationally, things are tough for unions, and they’re right.
Closer to home, though, only 16.9% of New Yorkers voted for Bush. We know better here. We can and should do better here. The cops, the correction officers, and the sanitation workers did better than us. They don't have Unity negotiating for them.
You can always count on the comforting voice of Unity, the party that’s been in power forever, through good times and bad, to tell you “That’s the best we can do, and anyone who disagrees with us is delusional.”
Well, I’ve come to believe them. Under their stewardship, we’ve gone from the highest to lowest paid teachers in the area. I believe that’s the best they can do. I’ve also come to believe that it’s time for all the opposition parties to unite and bring in some new blood. Why?
Because Unity can't do any better, and anyone who thinks they can is delusional.
Vote no, and defeat this contract. Then vote out the entrenched, cynical, self-serving and impotent Unity hacks who think we work for them.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
The Power of Negative Thinking
There’s an art to saying “no,” but many of us have yet to master it. Just look around you at the supermarket checkout, where children battle in earnest over that Juicy Fruit Gum displayed there for just that purpose. How can you, the teacher, say no when Freddy, who stands on the desks, beats his chest and does high-quality Tarzan yells, asks to go to the bathroom for the 17th time this week?
After all, it’s such a relief to have him out wandering the halls, where he won’t bother you. Just like you, that parent at the checkout knows the noise stops with a simple purchase of gum. Unfortunately, the battle continues with every subsequent trip to the supermarket. Also, kids learn quickly that loud crying gets much-desired results in various other locales.
It’s inconvenient to assert yourself, and almost physically painful the first few times you do it, particularly as you must force yourself to remain calm while other human beings do everything within their power to rattle you. Still, I’m usually not getting angry while kids act out, but coldly calculating the best way to make them aware that such outbursts will have inconvenient consequences. With me, they generally include calls home. Here are some tips on how to do that.
Once you learn to say no, and mean it, your classroom problems will be far fewer. Another advantage in active naysaying is this: someday, it will make you a much better parent.
After all, it’s such a relief to have him out wandering the halls, where he won’t bother you. Just like you, that parent at the checkout knows the noise stops with a simple purchase of gum. Unfortunately, the battle continues with every subsequent trip to the supermarket. Also, kids learn quickly that loud crying gets much-desired results in various other locales.
It’s inconvenient to assert yourself, and almost physically painful the first few times you do it, particularly as you must force yourself to remain calm while other human beings do everything within their power to rattle you. Still, I’m usually not getting angry while kids act out, but coldly calculating the best way to make them aware that such outbursts will have inconvenient consequences. With me, they generally include calls home. Here are some tips on how to do that.
Once you learn to say no, and mean it, your classroom problems will be far fewer. Another advantage in active naysaying is this: someday, it will make you a much better parent.
Politics as Usual
A poster to Edwize reports that a contract supporter "ate a loyal UFT member." The poster called it "a bitt offensive."
While I can't determine whether or not the pun was intended, I must object to this sort of action.
While I can't determine whether or not the pun was intended, I must object to this sort of action.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Unity Visits Your School October 2009
Now I know some of you will be disappointed in the language of this document, but goshdarn it, this mayor is one tough negotiator and this was the best we could do. We’ve gotten the teachers an 8 percent raise over five years, and if you add this raise to the raises we’ve gotten over the past 54 years you’ll see that we’ve gotten over 2,000 percent in raises. Now, who else has gotten a 2,000 percent raise in this economic climate?
Of course a lot of crotchety high school teachers are upset about the sixth full teaching period, but you need to look at it from a more balanced perspective. This was the best we could do. After all, it’s only an extra ten minutes a day, and we’ve finally done away with those irritating 37.5 minute periods. Now, every school will close no later than 3:55, except for multiple session schools, and some other schools, which will close later.
I’d like to address the issue of merit pay. Now anyone who calls the new merit pay provision “merit pay” is simply ignorant. It is most definitely not merit pay. Furthermore, while principals will now determine who gets to be lead teacher, master teacher, and the coveted Mighty Morphin Power Teacher, we placed explicit language in the contract stating there would be absolutely no repeated sexual favors exchanged for merit pay. We were able to insert a very important clause that asserted this right regardless of a teacher’s sex, inclinations, or lifestyle.
Unfortunately, similar clauses relating to cronyism and nepotism were dropped so we could earn that last point of your raise. This was the best we could do in the current political climate. Be assured, however, that we will make these clauses a prime objective in our next round of negotiation.
It’s come to my attention that a lot of people are up in arms about our recent endorsement of the mayor, simply because he’s been frequently quoted as saying “I hate all teachers and everything they stand for.” Now, first of all, those quotes were taken out of context, and he most certainly meant it in the nicest way possible. Secondly, if we don’t occasionally endorse candidates from the other party, they may stop negotiating in good faith with us. We couldn’t have done any better.
Now we managed to get, free of charge, 100% waterproof wetsuits for all teachers doing lunch duty. They are completely hamburger, and veggie-burger resistant. Also, we fought hard and defeated management’s demand that teachers spend three periods a day in the lunchroom. No teacher will perform more than two lunchroom assignments per day, and only one of these assignments can involve cooking, cleaning, or operating the cash register.
Predictably, there’s been a lot of flack about half-day Saturdays, but we just had to give something back or we wouldn’t have been able to come up with this monumental new contract. We are pioneers—the first teachers in the country to work a five and a half day week. It is most certainly not a six day week, as those naysayers and rabble-rousers from ICE have been saying. Remember, they’re the same ones who complained that the 37.5 minute “small group instruction” was a sixth class. Note that in August, we have maintained the five day week. That took some tough negotiation on my part, but we absolutely refused to let teachers work on Saturdays in August.
Let’s talk about what we fought back in this contract. For one thing, there will be absolutely no school on Sundays. No teacher will have more than 40 students in a class, despite the mayor’s demands to the contrary. And despite the new provisions allowing principals to summarily fire anyone for any reason whatsoever, which were the best we could do, we have retained tenure! In all my 37 years of tough negotiations, this was the toughest! It was tough, I tell you. How tough was it?
It was so tough, we had to negotiate a new Tier 6, but all teachers will be able to retire with 60 years of service, regardless of how old they may have been when they started. For example, an 80 year old teacher who began at the age of 20 can now retire with no penalty. A 120 year old teacher who began at age 39, depending on when his or her birthday was, will now be able to….
Of course a lot of crotchety high school teachers are upset about the sixth full teaching period, but you need to look at it from a more balanced perspective. This was the best we could do. After all, it’s only an extra ten minutes a day, and we’ve finally done away with those irritating 37.5 minute periods. Now, every school will close no later than 3:55, except for multiple session schools, and some other schools, which will close later.
I’d like to address the issue of merit pay. Now anyone who calls the new merit pay provision “merit pay” is simply ignorant. It is most definitely not merit pay. Furthermore, while principals will now determine who gets to be lead teacher, master teacher, and the coveted Mighty Morphin Power Teacher, we placed explicit language in the contract stating there would be absolutely no repeated sexual favors exchanged for merit pay. We were able to insert a very important clause that asserted this right regardless of a teacher’s sex, inclinations, or lifestyle.
Unfortunately, similar clauses relating to cronyism and nepotism were dropped so we could earn that last point of your raise. This was the best we could do in the current political climate. Be assured, however, that we will make these clauses a prime objective in our next round of negotiation.
It’s come to my attention that a lot of people are up in arms about our recent endorsement of the mayor, simply because he’s been frequently quoted as saying “I hate all teachers and everything they stand for.” Now, first of all, those quotes were taken out of context, and he most certainly meant it in the nicest way possible. Secondly, if we don’t occasionally endorse candidates from the other party, they may stop negotiating in good faith with us. We couldn’t have done any better.
Now we managed to get, free of charge, 100% waterproof wetsuits for all teachers doing lunch duty. They are completely hamburger, and veggie-burger resistant. Also, we fought hard and defeated management’s demand that teachers spend three periods a day in the lunchroom. No teacher will perform more than two lunchroom assignments per day, and only one of these assignments can involve cooking, cleaning, or operating the cash register.
Predictably, there’s been a lot of flack about half-day Saturdays, but we just had to give something back or we wouldn’t have been able to come up with this monumental new contract. We are pioneers—the first teachers in the country to work a five and a half day week. It is most certainly not a six day week, as those naysayers and rabble-rousers from ICE have been saying. Remember, they’re the same ones who complained that the 37.5 minute “small group instruction” was a sixth class. Note that in August, we have maintained the five day week. That took some tough negotiation on my part, but we absolutely refused to let teachers work on Saturdays in August.
Let’s talk about what we fought back in this contract. For one thing, there will be absolutely no school on Sundays. No teacher will have more than 40 students in a class, despite the mayor’s demands to the contrary. And despite the new provisions allowing principals to summarily fire anyone for any reason whatsoever, which were the best we could do, we have retained tenure! In all my 37 years of tough negotiations, this was the toughest! It was tough, I tell you. How tough was it?
It was so tough, we had to negotiate a new Tier 6, but all teachers will be able to retire with 60 years of service, regardless of how old they may have been when they started. For example, an 80 year old teacher who began at the age of 20 can now retire with no penalty. A 120 year old teacher who began at age 39, depending on when his or her birthday was, will now be able to….
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Unity Spin Guy Visits My School
They are desperate to pass this contract, and Unity is dispatching its paid employees to make sure they get their raise. And why shouldn't they? They won't be working lunchroom duty, or losing any options.
He came in and sat down at our lunch table. He told us about all the things the contract didn't give up, and how we got the best possible deal. I asked him about the correction officers, who got 10.25% over two years, with 12-15K in back pay (more than double what we get over four years), and he started talking about sanitation workers.
"Excuse me, I thought I asked about the corrections officers."
"Do you let students interrupt you in your classroom?"
"We are not in a classroom and I am not your student. Also, my writing students know the difference between argument and obfuscation."
I asked him about the sixth class. He insisted the 37.5 minute "small group instruction" was not a sixth class, despite some very compelling evidence to the contrary. At this point, several generally well-behaved English teachers began making obscene gestures behind his back. I was surprised.
He spoke proudly of the UFT's changes in the Taylor Law. A social studies teacher asked what changes he was talking about. The spin guy started telling about monetary penalties for employers who fail to bargain in good faith. The social studies teacher repeatedly asked him if that was now law, and Mr. Unity finally admitted "Well, Pataki hasn't signed it yet." He told the teacher not to worry, because we'd regain all our losses in the next contract.
A young teacher approached him and started talking about the pros and cons of the contract. After they spoke for a few minutes, he told the spin guy that he was going to seek work in Nassau, where he could make a lot more money without teaching six classes or becoming a "lead teacher."
I saw no love for this contract today, and I saw no one persuaded to change their vote either. Our chapter voted "no confidence" in the current UFT leadership to negotiate a fair contract last week, and no matter how they spin it, this contract is an improvement for no one but Unity spin guys and folks who plan to retire very soon.
Read here about when Unity Spin Guys visited reality-based educator.
He came in and sat down at our lunch table. He told us about all the things the contract didn't give up, and how we got the best possible deal. I asked him about the correction officers, who got 10.25% over two years, with 12-15K in back pay (more than double what we get over four years), and he started talking about sanitation workers.
"Excuse me, I thought I asked about the corrections officers."
"Do you let students interrupt you in your classroom?"
"We are not in a classroom and I am not your student. Also, my writing students know the difference between argument and obfuscation."
I asked him about the sixth class. He insisted the 37.5 minute "small group instruction" was not a sixth class, despite some very compelling evidence to the contrary. At this point, several generally well-behaved English teachers began making obscene gestures behind his back. I was surprised.
He spoke proudly of the UFT's changes in the Taylor Law. A social studies teacher asked what changes he was talking about. The spin guy started telling about monetary penalties for employers who fail to bargain in good faith. The social studies teacher repeatedly asked him if that was now law, and Mr. Unity finally admitted "Well, Pataki hasn't signed it yet." He told the teacher not to worry, because we'd regain all our losses in the next contract.
A young teacher approached him and started talking about the pros and cons of the contract. After they spoke for a few minutes, he told the spin guy that he was going to seek work in Nassau, where he could make a lot more money without teaching six classes or becoming a "lead teacher."
I saw no love for this contract today, and I saw no one persuaded to change their vote either. Our chapter voted "no confidence" in the current UFT leadership to negotiate a fair contract last week, and no matter how they spin it, this contract is an improvement for no one but Unity spin guys and folks who plan to retire very soon.
Read here about when Unity Spin Guys visited reality-based educator.
Monday, October 17, 2005
How Do We Measure Up?
If the contract passes, you’ll be performing a building assignment, working as long as your suburban colleagues, and teaching an extra class four days a week to boot. How does the Bloomberg-Weingarten agreement measure up?
The following, as of January 05, were Nassau maximum salaries without a doctorate. Most require 60 credits beyond the Masters, which I, and I assume you, would get if NYC paid. Some districts below have not yet cracked 100K, but unlike NYC, they’re on their way.
Baldwin 105534
Bellmore 92957
Bellmore-Merrick 104123
Bethpage101840
Carle Place 98451
East Rockaway 100590
East Williston 105764
Elmont 97815
Farmingdale 102081
Franklin Square 98136
Freeport 97960
Garden City 108097
Glen Cove 104114
Great Neck 108280
Herricks 105498
Hewlett-Woodmere 110394
Hicksville 93959
Island Park 106004
Jericho 113789
Lawrence 112176
Levittown 102332
Locust Valley 107328
Lynbrook 102354
Malverne 100096
Massapequa 97537
Merrick 101530
Mineola 105758
New Hyde Park 87383
North Bellmore 102167
North Merrick 101445
Oceanside 107339
Oyster Bay-E. Norwich 110325
Plainedge 95961
Port Washington 106400
Rockville Centre 106136
Roosevelt 97916
Roslyn 111548
Seaford 91767
Syosset 107052
Wantagh 102611
The following, as of January 05, were Nassau maximum salaries without a doctorate. Most require 60 credits beyond the Masters, which I, and I assume you, would get if NYC paid. Some districts below have not yet cracked 100K, but unlike NYC, they’re on their way.
Baldwin 105534
Bellmore 92957
Bellmore-Merrick 104123
Bethpage101840
Carle Place 98451
East Rockaway 100590
East Williston 105764
Elmont 97815
Farmingdale 102081
Franklin Square 98136
Freeport 97960
Garden City 108097
Glen Cove 104114
Great Neck 108280
Herricks 105498
Hewlett-Woodmere 110394
Hicksville 93959
Island Park 106004
Jericho 113789
Lawrence 112176
Levittown 102332
Locust Valley 107328
Lynbrook 102354
Malverne 100096
Massapequa 97537
Merrick 101530
Mineola 105758
New Hyde Park 87383
North Bellmore 102167
North Merrick 101445
Oceanside 107339
Oyster Bay-E. Norwich 110325
Plainedge 95961
Port Washington 106400
Rockville Centre 106136
Roosevelt 97916
Roslyn 111548
Seaford 91767
Syosset 107052
Wantagh 102611
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Speaking English Is No Longer Necessary
We have fewer ESL students than we used to after 9/11, perhaps 40% fewer. Still, we ought to be able to come up with a reasonable method of testing their English.
In New York City, we had a test called the LAB that was used for 20 years. It had a version A, and a version B. For ease of scoring, the answers to both versions were identical. As the test was never updated, students started stealing it, and several told me that they’d received the answers via email. That explained the students I had who spoke no English, yet somehow passed.
After 20 years, some wise individual decided to revise the test. Unfortunately, the new test is extremely basic, and I’d say any student with one year of study could pass it. This was highly problematic until it was supplanted by a NY State exam called the NYCESLAT, and please don’t ask me what that stands for.
The new state test shared the low level of the city test, but the folks in NY State arranged it so you seemed to need a perfect score (at least) to pass it. This resulted in a highly critical column in the NY Times written by my favorite education columnist, Michael Winerip. The state was upset by this, so in a relatively short time (2 years) they revised the standard. Now, like the LAB, it's far too easy to pass.
The NYCESLAT, for reasons never explained to me, though, can only be given in the spring. Therefore, students who arrive at other points in the year (the majority) are given the LAB test.
Last year, I taught Transitional English, the last ESL course we give, in which I taught novels. I had one young girl who did no homework, no reading, and never participated in class. One day I informed her that if she did not start doing the homework and the reading, she would fail. At this, the girl ran crying from my class to her guidance counselor, who placed her elsewhere.
The girl was right to be upset. The test falsely indicated that she was ready for advanced English. It doesn’t take forever (as some “bilingual” programs seem to advocate), but it takes a few years for teenagers to acquire a second language. It really behooves state and city officials to get off their collective keesters and design a valid test.
My test?
“What’s your name?”
“Where are you from”
“How long have you been here?” or ungrammatical but simplified:
“How long are you here, in the United States?”
Beyond that I’d want to see writing samples.
Students who lack mastery of such basic verbal English should not be placed beyond level 2 of basic ESL. Talking is a huge part of language, and to place kids who can’t speak in classes where they’re expected to study Shakespeare does no service to the, or indeed anyone.
Why can’t all those smart people in Albany and Tweed figure that out?
In New York City, we had a test called the LAB that was used for 20 years. It had a version A, and a version B. For ease of scoring, the answers to both versions were identical. As the test was never updated, students started stealing it, and several told me that they’d received the answers via email. That explained the students I had who spoke no English, yet somehow passed.
After 20 years, some wise individual decided to revise the test. Unfortunately, the new test is extremely basic, and I’d say any student with one year of study could pass it. This was highly problematic until it was supplanted by a NY State exam called the NYCESLAT, and please don’t ask me what that stands for.
The new state test shared the low level of the city test, but the folks in NY State arranged it so you seemed to need a perfect score (at least) to pass it. This resulted in a highly critical column in the NY Times written by my favorite education columnist, Michael Winerip. The state was upset by this, so in a relatively short time (2 years) they revised the standard. Now, like the LAB, it's far too easy to pass.
The NYCESLAT, for reasons never explained to me, though, can only be given in the spring. Therefore, students who arrive at other points in the year (the majority) are given the LAB test.
Last year, I taught Transitional English, the last ESL course we give, in which I taught novels. I had one young girl who did no homework, no reading, and never participated in class. One day I informed her that if she did not start doing the homework and the reading, she would fail. At this, the girl ran crying from my class to her guidance counselor, who placed her elsewhere.
The girl was right to be upset. The test falsely indicated that she was ready for advanced English. It doesn’t take forever (as some “bilingual” programs seem to advocate), but it takes a few years for teenagers to acquire a second language. It really behooves state and city officials to get off their collective keesters and design a valid test.
My test?
“What’s your name?”
“Where are you from”
“How long have you been here?” or ungrammatical but simplified:
“How long are you here, in the United States?”
Beyond that I’d want to see writing samples.
Students who lack mastery of such basic verbal English should not be placed beyond level 2 of basic ESL. Talking is a huge part of language, and to place kids who can’t speak in classes where they’re expected to study Shakespeare does no service to the, or indeed anyone.
Why can’t all those smart people in Albany and Tweed figure that out?
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Democracy, UFT Style
If you’re a high school teacher, you don’t get to select the vice-president representing you. You used to, but you don’t anymore.
Michael Shulman, representing New Action, won that post once. The UFT called a special re-vote, and he won by a larger margin. This disturbed the folks at Unity, as it threatened their monopolistic hold on power. What could they do?
Well, in 1994, they changed the constitution, so that all members could participate in the selection of all vice-presidents. This meant that elementary teachers, who outnumber high school teachers, and who largely tend to vote Unity, could drown out those nasty folks voting for the opposition.
So, if you’re a high school teacher wondering how the hell the UFT expects you to balance your current workload, plus the 37 minute sixth class, plus lunchroom duty, it’s not that hard to understand. The UFT has pretty much precluded your input by denying you representation.
When the UFT claims 90% of the vote in the executive board meetings, bear in mind that votes are not counted, but estimated. That’s why both sides tend to interpret votes in their favor, and it’s also why we, the members, never find out what really happened. Ballots are not even secret, so those of our representatives who are beholden to Unity for jobs or perks are not free to vote their beliefs.
Karl Rove could learn a lot from this system; if you don’t actually count votes, you don’t need a Katherine Harris to certify the results before they’re counted.
Michael Shulman, representing New Action, won that post once. The UFT called a special re-vote, and he won by a larger margin. This disturbed the folks at Unity, as it threatened their monopolistic hold on power. What could they do?
Well, in 1994, they changed the constitution, so that all members could participate in the selection of all vice-presidents. This meant that elementary teachers, who outnumber high school teachers, and who largely tend to vote Unity, could drown out those nasty folks voting for the opposition.
So, if you’re a high school teacher wondering how the hell the UFT expects you to balance your current workload, plus the 37 minute sixth class, plus lunchroom duty, it’s not that hard to understand. The UFT has pretty much precluded your input by denying you representation.
When the UFT claims 90% of the vote in the executive board meetings, bear in mind that votes are not counted, but estimated. That’s why both sides tend to interpret votes in their favor, and it’s also why we, the members, never find out what really happened. Ballots are not even secret, so those of our representatives who are beholden to Unity for jobs or perks are not free to vote their beliefs.
Karl Rove could learn a lot from this system; if you don’t actually count votes, you don’t need a Katherine Harris to certify the results before they’re counted.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Vivian
I’m in the department office, correcting papers and congratulating myself that I have only 5 million more to go when Vivian bursts in, crying hysterically. I try to calm her down, and ask what’s wrong. Vivian, an incredibly conscientious student who arrived from China only months ago, thrusts a paper in my face and begins to cry even louder.
It’s in Chinese. Between sobs, she sputters she got a D on her composition, and apparently, it’s all but ruined her young life.
“I’m sorry, Vivian, but I can’t understand Chinese. Did you ask the teacher why?”
“Yes.” (sob, sniff….)
“What did he tell you?”
“I don’t know.” (cry, sob)
“What do you mean?”
“I c-c-can’t understand his Chinese.” (sniff, sniff)
“Come on, Vivian.”
“NO! NOBODY understand his Chinese!”
“Well, you must understand it better than me...”
“I ask him five time, and I don’t understand. Finally, he tell me in English….” (sob, cry, cry…”)
“What did he tell you, Vivian?”
“He tell me in English ‘It suck!.’ “ (serious bawling)
Well, as criticism goes, it’s certainly concise.
Later, I look for her teacher and find him. Unfortunately, I find his English utterly incomprehensible. That’s unusual for me—my job involves regularly dealing with people who speak little or no English. I have a Chinese-speaking colleague call Vivian’s parents on my behalf and tell them what a wonderful kid she is and how well she’s doing in my class.
It probably won’t help.
It’s in Chinese. Between sobs, she sputters she got a D on her composition, and apparently, it’s all but ruined her young life.
“I’m sorry, Vivian, but I can’t understand Chinese. Did you ask the teacher why?”
“Yes.” (sob, sniff….)
“What did he tell you?”
“I don’t know.” (cry, sob)
“What do you mean?”
“I c-c-can’t understand his Chinese.” (sniff, sniff)
“Come on, Vivian.”
“NO! NOBODY understand his Chinese!”
“Well, you must understand it better than me...”
“I ask him five time, and I don’t understand. Finally, he tell me in English….” (sob, cry, cry…”)
“What did he tell you, Vivian?”
“He tell me in English ‘It suck!.’ “ (serious bawling)
Well, as criticism goes, it’s certainly concise.
Later, I look for her teacher and find him. Unfortunately, I find his English utterly incomprehensible. That’s unusual for me—my job involves regularly dealing with people who speak little or no English. I have a Chinese-speaking colleague call Vivian’s parents on my behalf and tell them what a wonderful kid she is and how well she’s doing in my class.
It probably won’t help.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Top Ten Edwize Headlines
10. The Joy of Lunchroom Duty
9. Why Merit Pay is a Good Thing Even If Base Salaries Are Far from Competitive
8. Find Fulfillment by Teaching Six Classes for the Price of Five
7. How Losing the Right to Grieve Letters in My File Improved My Sex Life
6. 37½ Minutes to Paradise
5. If We Approve It, It Must Not Be Merit Pay
4. Less is More: Why It’s Better to Have Fewer Options at the Workplace
3. Become a Complete Person by Spending Less Time with Your Family and More with Klein’s Flunkies
2. Why, Despite Years of Evidence to the Contrary, Your Principal Will Probably Not Abuse Power
1. The Contract Is Good Because We Say It Is
9. Why Merit Pay is a Good Thing Even If Base Salaries Are Far from Competitive
8. Find Fulfillment by Teaching Six Classes for the Price of Five
7. How Losing the Right to Grieve Letters in My File Improved My Sex Life
6. 37½ Minutes to Paradise
5. If We Approve It, It Must Not Be Merit Pay
4. Less is More: Why It’s Better to Have Fewer Options at the Workplace
3. Become a Complete Person by Spending Less Time with Your Family and More with Klein’s Flunkies
2. Why, Despite Years of Evidence to the Contrary, Your Principal Will Probably Not Abuse Power
1. The Contract Is Good Because We Say It Is
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
The Real Value of Lunchroom Duty
I remember reading a column in the New York Times by then-education columnist Richard Rothstein entitled “The Secret Value of Lunchroom Duty.” In the lunchroom, Mr. Rothstein wrote, you could get to know the students in an informal setting, and surpass the restrictions of the classroom, or something like that. It seemed a very fine idea.
However, having actually done the job, I can tell you Mr. Rothstein’s musings bore little resemblance to reality.
The last time I was assigned to the lunchroom was upon arrival to a brand-new school. The dean, the guy in charge, posted me at the front door to check student programs and challenge the kids who didn’t belong. He posted himself way in the back, by a locked door, where he could peruse the Daily News to his heart’s content.
Despite Rothstein’s presumptions, in a school with thousands of kids, almost none turned out to be my students. The only kids I got to know really well were those who regularly stole or borrowed programs in order to spend their math periods in the lunchroom. That’s right—I met the proverbial boy named Sue, and furthermore, I confiscated his phony program.
Out of sheer boredom, I started asking kids what their third period classes were, what their birthdays were, or who their English teacher was. Many had no idea, and my collection of programs grew and grew. Had I known about all the zero percent raises the UFT had in store for me, I might have considered a tidy little business selling them.
Another important job was keeping careful count of the bathroom passes, and making sure you took a valid program for each pass you issued. There were very particular rules about these passes, but I don’t remember them anymore. With luck, I won’t need to learn them again.
Sometimes a fight would break out. As a teacher, I’d learned, I’m not authorized to break up fights, and if hurt trying to break one up, I’d have to pay out of pocket for any and all injuries. I wrote a long essay on the NTE about this, to describe something I learned outside of the classroom, but will spare you the details for now.
Sometimes food fights would occur, bringing the dean from behind his Daily News to where the action was.
“Who started it?”
“I have no idea. I was checking programs.”
The real truth about lunch patrol? If you love teaching, you’ll hate it. It’s a mind-numbing waste of time. You can’t get any work done, because too many things are going on. You can’t really help any kids, because few, if any, need your help eating lunch.
There’s absolutely no reason school aides can’t do this job as well as teachers. We’re here to help kids learn, not to police their lunch trays. I never, ever had the remotest opportunities to get to know kids in the lunchroom.
If you want to get to know kids, have them write regularly in your classroom. Carefully read everything they write, comment on it, and return it. This sort of correspondence will let you know things about kids you’d never have suspected otherwise. You’ll also be able to offer them real grownup advice, which some of them sorely lack.
Unfortunately, this is difficult when you have the highest class size in the state. It will prove even more difficult when your time is spent teaching a sixth class, the mysterious “small-group instruction,” and a lunch patrol, in which you may expect to complete no work whatsoever.
With the inevitable full sixth class in our next contract, you can expect this job to cut even further into your “free” time. And if you can’t see that full class coming, you need your eyes examined.
Me, I’ll probably move away from essays, and toward multiple choice tests to be pushed through scantrons. How can I read hundreds of papers on a daily basis when I have two other jobs, precious little time to do so, and, apparently, no one in Tweed or the UFT who thinks it’s of any value?
In any case, if any of this has piqued your interest in lunch patrol, you should probably vote “yes” on this contract.
However, having actually done the job, I can tell you Mr. Rothstein’s musings bore little resemblance to reality.
The last time I was assigned to the lunchroom was upon arrival to a brand-new school. The dean, the guy in charge, posted me at the front door to check student programs and challenge the kids who didn’t belong. He posted himself way in the back, by a locked door, where he could peruse the Daily News to his heart’s content.
Despite Rothstein’s presumptions, in a school with thousands of kids, almost none turned out to be my students. The only kids I got to know really well were those who regularly stole or borrowed programs in order to spend their math periods in the lunchroom. That’s right—I met the proverbial boy named Sue, and furthermore, I confiscated his phony program.
Out of sheer boredom, I started asking kids what their third period classes were, what their birthdays were, or who their English teacher was. Many had no idea, and my collection of programs grew and grew. Had I known about all the zero percent raises the UFT had in store for me, I might have considered a tidy little business selling them.
Another important job was keeping careful count of the bathroom passes, and making sure you took a valid program for each pass you issued. There were very particular rules about these passes, but I don’t remember them anymore. With luck, I won’t need to learn them again.
Sometimes a fight would break out. As a teacher, I’d learned, I’m not authorized to break up fights, and if hurt trying to break one up, I’d have to pay out of pocket for any and all injuries. I wrote a long essay on the NTE about this, to describe something I learned outside of the classroom, but will spare you the details for now.
Sometimes food fights would occur, bringing the dean from behind his Daily News to where the action was.
“Who started it?”
“I have no idea. I was checking programs.”
The real truth about lunch patrol? If you love teaching, you’ll hate it. It’s a mind-numbing waste of time. You can’t get any work done, because too many things are going on. You can’t really help any kids, because few, if any, need your help eating lunch.
There’s absolutely no reason school aides can’t do this job as well as teachers. We’re here to help kids learn, not to police their lunch trays. I never, ever had the remotest opportunities to get to know kids in the lunchroom.
If you want to get to know kids, have them write regularly in your classroom. Carefully read everything they write, comment on it, and return it. This sort of correspondence will let you know things about kids you’d never have suspected otherwise. You’ll also be able to offer them real grownup advice, which some of them sorely lack.
Unfortunately, this is difficult when you have the highest class size in the state. It will prove even more difficult when your time is spent teaching a sixth class, the mysterious “small-group instruction,” and a lunch patrol, in which you may expect to complete no work whatsoever.
With the inevitable full sixth class in our next contract, you can expect this job to cut even further into your “free” time. And if you can’t see that full class coming, you need your eyes examined.
Me, I’ll probably move away from essays, and toward multiple choice tests to be pushed through scantrons. How can I read hundreds of papers on a daily basis when I have two other jobs, precious little time to do so, and, apparently, no one in Tweed or the UFT who thinks it’s of any value?
In any case, if any of this has piqued your interest in lunch patrol, you should probably vote “yes” on this contract.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Break out the Rubber Stamps
I just heard the UFT Delegate Assembly approved sending the contract to rank and file this afternoon.
Now we get to tell them what we think of this contract. On October 21, if I recall correctly, the ballots will be available.
Vote early. vote often, vote NO!
Now we get to tell them what we think of this contract. On October 21, if I recall correctly, the ballots will be available.
Vote early. vote often, vote NO!
News and Rumor
First, a colleague informs me that this blog was quoted on News 4 last night in a story about the contract's chances. "Money comes and goes, but lunchroom duty is forever." It's still true too.
The NY Daily News today took a step back on the "kiss of death" story, suggesting that a contract vote would be close, but predicting it would pass. It also ran an editorial strongly endorsing this contract. In case you haven't noticed, the Daily News likes nothing that's good for teachers. That, in itself, is a compelling reason to vote no after tonight's Delegate Assembly rubber stamps sending it to the rank and file.
Oh, yes--the rumor. A teacher in my building knows some big shots on the UFT who are visiting schools. He says they're regularly astonished by the volume of anti-contract sentiment they see. Let's keep it up and stop this thing from degrading and demeaning the job we love.
The NY Daily News today took a step back on the "kiss of death" story, suggesting that a contract vote would be close, but predicting it would pass. It also ran an editorial strongly endorsing this contract. In case you haven't noticed, the Daily News likes nothing that's good for teachers. That, in itself, is a compelling reason to vote no after tonight's Delegate Assembly rubber stamps sending it to the rank and file.
Oh, yes--the rumor. A teacher in my building knows some big shots on the UFT who are visiting schools. He says they're regularly astonished by the volume of anti-contract sentiment they see. Let's keep it up and stop this thing from degrading and demeaning the job we love.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Kiss of Death?
In today's NY Daily News, Randi Weingarten reveals doubts the new contract will pass rank and file.
She attributes them to this photo, and Klein's boasts about having won so much in this agreement.
Unfortunately, Klein is absolutely right to boast about buying the UFT off so cheaply. Hopefully, Ms. Weingarten will soon recognize it's more than a kiss that makes this contract undesirable and unacceptable for NYC's 80,000 working teachers.
(With thanks to posters Reality-Based Educator and Dismayed.)
Unity Visits Your School
Welcome everyone. I’m very glad to see you’ve all come here. First of all, despite the whining of a small but vocal minority of chronic malcontents, I’d like to point out that, under our guidance, teacher salaries have more than doubled over the last 20 years. Doubled! That’s quite impressive given the current geopolitical context, and if you have any sense, you’ll be quite impressed, as we all are.
Let’s first talk about the 37.5 minute “small group instruction.” This is most definitely not a sixth teaching period. It is instruction, not teaching, and anyone who can’t tell the difference is clearly ignorant. Everyone with any sense knows that teaching can be stressful at times, but instruction is an effortless pleasure. Furthermore, those high-achieving students who ask difficult and troublesome questions will have already left the school, so you won’t have to deal with all their nasty curiosity and thoughtfulness. We at Unity find those qualities distracting as well. That’s why we discourage such vulgar individuals from working for us.
Now, some of our detractors are complaining that the “lead teacher” position is “merit pay.” That couldn’t be further from the truth. “Merit pay” is when the administration selects teachers to be paid more than other teachers. A “lead teacher” will be chosen by the administration to receive additional compensation. Anyone who can’t tell the obvious difference has not read the official UFT fact sheet, which Ms. Finch is now passing out.
And now we come to the issue of lunch patrol. If you remember, it was our hard work that got you out of the lunchroom, and we were very proud of that. It was a tough year and no money was available, so we got you out. This year, not only did we achieve a raise, but we got you back in at no additional charge to you, or any of your UFT colleagues. And furthermore, many of you will not serve lunchroom duty, since you’ll be returned to homeroom. Yes it’s true we got you out of that in the past, in exchange for a zero, but this year we got you back in, once again, with no additional charge. That was some tough negotiating, but we rolled up our sleeves, put our heads together, and had the chauffers garage all the limos till it got done.
Now a lot of teachers are complaining that the police and corrections officers received 10.25% over two years, while we got 14.25 over four. Well, you only need to look at those statements to realize how much better our deal is. We got 15, and they only got 10! 15 is five more than ten! Do the math, people!
Furthermore, police cadets will receive a drastic cut in salary for their first six months. I’m proud to tell you that, under this historic contract, student teachers will receive the exact same salary they always have, and their rate of pay has not been reduced at all. There’s also a lot of loose talk about how they’re getting 12,000 for two years of back pay, while you’re only getting up to 5,000 for four. All I can say is do the math! If you take that 5,000 and multiply it by 5, that’s $25,000, which is more than double what the corrections officers got! Do the math!
Finally, with this historic contract, we have promised to agree in principle that teachers with 25 years service will be able to retire in 25 years. That’s something that we might get for you in the future, if it’s possible. Is anyone else promising they might get that for you? No? Well, I’m here to tell you that if you vote yes for this contract, you might get that in the future. Furthermore, under this contract, if you spend one dollar of that raise we got you, you might win the lottery and live a life of luxury in Hawaii, where girls with grass skirts play ukuleles, and bring you drinks in coconuts on the beach. Who else is saying you might get those things? No one! Keep that in mind. Remember, if you vote “no” you might not win the lottery!
Remember, this contract is the best we could do. If you vote no, the next one will be even worse. Also, we will immediately go on strike, be replaced permanently by scabs, you will be unable to pay your bills, removed from your home, and forced to live in a pickup truck opposite your school, with access only to gas station and student bathrooms. Is that what you want? Remember, don’t let our detractors’ sleazy fear tactics sway you into voting no!
Any questions? Yes? I deeply regret I will be unable to answer questions at this time. Unfortunately, I have a rhumba lesson in fifteen minutes, and the teacher has a strict policy about lateness. As teachers, I’m sure you all can understand that.
Before I leave, let me express my deepest thanks to the silent majority of teachers who support Unity, and this historic contract. God bless you all, and God bless the United Federation of Teachers.
Thank you, and I’ll see you all again when the next contract comes up for ratification. Let’s go, Ms. Finch.
Let’s first talk about the 37.5 minute “small group instruction.” This is most definitely not a sixth teaching period. It is instruction, not teaching, and anyone who can’t tell the difference is clearly ignorant. Everyone with any sense knows that teaching can be stressful at times, but instruction is an effortless pleasure. Furthermore, those high-achieving students who ask difficult and troublesome questions will have already left the school, so you won’t have to deal with all their nasty curiosity and thoughtfulness. We at Unity find those qualities distracting as well. That’s why we discourage such vulgar individuals from working for us.
Now, some of our detractors are complaining that the “lead teacher” position is “merit pay.” That couldn’t be further from the truth. “Merit pay” is when the administration selects teachers to be paid more than other teachers. A “lead teacher” will be chosen by the administration to receive additional compensation. Anyone who can’t tell the obvious difference has not read the official UFT fact sheet, which Ms. Finch is now passing out.
And now we come to the issue of lunch patrol. If you remember, it was our hard work that got you out of the lunchroom, and we were very proud of that. It was a tough year and no money was available, so we got you out. This year, not only did we achieve a raise, but we got you back in at no additional charge to you, or any of your UFT colleagues. And furthermore, many of you will not serve lunchroom duty, since you’ll be returned to homeroom. Yes it’s true we got you out of that in the past, in exchange for a zero, but this year we got you back in, once again, with no additional charge. That was some tough negotiating, but we rolled up our sleeves, put our heads together, and had the chauffers garage all the limos till it got done.
Now a lot of teachers are complaining that the police and corrections officers received 10.25% over two years, while we got 14.25 over four. Well, you only need to look at those statements to realize how much better our deal is. We got 15, and they only got 10! 15 is five more than ten! Do the math, people!
Furthermore, police cadets will receive a drastic cut in salary for their first six months. I’m proud to tell you that, under this historic contract, student teachers will receive the exact same salary they always have, and their rate of pay has not been reduced at all. There’s also a lot of loose talk about how they’re getting 12,000 for two years of back pay, while you’re only getting up to 5,000 for four. All I can say is do the math! If you take that 5,000 and multiply it by 5, that’s $25,000, which is more than double what the corrections officers got! Do the math!
Finally, with this historic contract, we have promised to agree in principle that teachers with 25 years service will be able to retire in 25 years. That’s something that we might get for you in the future, if it’s possible. Is anyone else promising they might get that for you? No? Well, I’m here to tell you that if you vote yes for this contract, you might get that in the future. Furthermore, under this contract, if you spend one dollar of that raise we got you, you might win the lottery and live a life of luxury in Hawaii, where girls with grass skirts play ukuleles, and bring you drinks in coconuts on the beach. Who else is saying you might get those things? No one! Keep that in mind. Remember, if you vote “no” you might not win the lottery!
Remember, this contract is the best we could do. If you vote no, the next one will be even worse. Also, we will immediately go on strike, be replaced permanently by scabs, you will be unable to pay your bills, removed from your home, and forced to live in a pickup truck opposite your school, with access only to gas station and student bathrooms. Is that what you want? Remember, don’t let our detractors’ sleazy fear tactics sway you into voting no!
Any questions? Yes? I deeply regret I will be unable to answer questions at this time. Unfortunately, I have a rhumba lesson in fifteen minutes, and the teacher has a strict policy about lateness. As teachers, I’m sure you all can understand that.
Before I leave, let me express my deepest thanks to the silent majority of teachers who support Unity, and this historic contract. God bless you all, and God bless the United Federation of Teachers.
Thank you, and I’ll see you all again when the next contract comes up for ratification. Let’s go, Ms. Finch.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Vital Advice
If you have a kid, know a kid, or have ever been a kid, you must immediately go see Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.
"Something wicked this way hops."
"Something wicked this way hops."
A Dialogue
Here’s a post Leo Casey left on Ms. Frizzle's site:
I will not respond to the personal attacks.
I can’t blame Mr. Casey for that. There’s really no need to indulge in personal attacks. Let’s focus on the contract, and Mr. Casey's ideas about it.
Mr. Casey is very visible on the front page of Edwize, defending the contract. I’m encouraged that he’s venturing out into the blogosphere, because that indicates that those who professionally spin this contract feel the need to further get the word out. Mr. Casey continues:
I do need to point out, however, that if the people who are now pronouncing with absolute cetainty that the extra ten minutes will produce a sixth teaching period were right in the past, when they made similar pronouncements with equal certainy, it would be the eighth or ninth teaching period we were discussing, not the sixth. As a matter of fact, it was not that long ago, when Circular 6R was first negotiated, that the very same folks were saying this is a sixth teaching period, and it does not matter how you say you are going to implement it. Now, they shout from the rooftops, "Don't surrender Circular 6R."
Yes we were born, but it wasn't yesterday.
Circular 6R, if I’m not mistaken, is the document in which teachers select their professional assignment. Please feel free to correct me, as I’m very likely to be wrong. In my school, we have the option of planning for three preps as an assignment. This works well for me, because I’ve had three preps for the last 12 years. (Note—while it sounds otherwise, I’m not complaining.)
In any case, here’s my response:
The distinction between lunchroom duty and being in charge of kids in a classroom has evidently escaped Mr. Casey. Nonetheless, I am indeed opposed to placing teachers in lunchrooms. It's degrading, unprofessional, and will do little to halt the exodus of new teachers.
Unlike Mr. Casey, I've performed lunchroom duty, and I can tell you it's the worst task I've ever been forced to do as a teacher. Despite his bold words, Mr. Casey, I fear, will not be joining us in the lunchroom.
The UFT was proud when it (lunchroom duty) was eliminated, gleefully selling us a new contract. They now seem proud to have gotten it reinstated, gleefully selling us a new contract. How does Mr. Casey explain that?
It's remarkable that having ten students in a room for 37 minutes is not a teaching period. Did everyone understand Mr. Casey's contention?
When I teach college at night, I sometimes get groups of ten people. And I, lacking Mr. Casey's apparent expertise, actually organize materials and teach. Perhaps Mr. Casey will be kind enough to share with us his preferred approach.
Perhaps Mr. Casey will further enlighten those of us too ignorant to discern the difference between "small group instruction" and "class."
As a teacher and a parent, it's my view that no conscientious educator would allow ten kids to sit and waste their time for 37.5 minutes a day. Doubtless Mr. Casey has a better approach.
I eagerly await the moment he shares that approach with us.
Do UFT muckety-mucks think they can tell us being in charge of a group of students, expressly for the purpose of "instruction" is not teaching? What do they take us for? Could it be that they think we were born yesterday?
Your responses are encouraged. Have a great Sunday, everyone. And enjoy Columbus Day, which seems to have survived this round of negotiations.
I will not respond to the personal attacks.
I can’t blame Mr. Casey for that. There’s really no need to indulge in personal attacks. Let’s focus on the contract, and Mr. Casey's ideas about it.
Mr. Casey is very visible on the front page of Edwize, defending the contract. I’m encouraged that he’s venturing out into the blogosphere, because that indicates that those who professionally spin this contract feel the need to further get the word out. Mr. Casey continues:
I do need to point out, however, that if the people who are now pronouncing with absolute cetainty that the extra ten minutes will produce a sixth teaching period were right in the past, when they made similar pronouncements with equal certainy, it would be the eighth or ninth teaching period we were discussing, not the sixth. As a matter of fact, it was not that long ago, when Circular 6R was first negotiated, that the very same folks were saying this is a sixth teaching period, and it does not matter how you say you are going to implement it. Now, they shout from the rooftops, "Don't surrender Circular 6R."
Yes we were born, but it wasn't yesterday.
Circular 6R, if I’m not mistaken, is the document in which teachers select their professional assignment. Please feel free to correct me, as I’m very likely to be wrong. In my school, we have the option of planning for three preps as an assignment. This works well for me, because I’ve had three preps for the last 12 years. (Note—while it sounds otherwise, I’m not complaining.)
In any case, here’s my response:
The distinction between lunchroom duty and being in charge of kids in a classroom has evidently escaped Mr. Casey. Nonetheless, I am indeed opposed to placing teachers in lunchrooms. It's degrading, unprofessional, and will do little to halt the exodus of new teachers.
Unlike Mr. Casey, I've performed lunchroom duty, and I can tell you it's the worst task I've ever been forced to do as a teacher. Despite his bold words, Mr. Casey, I fear, will not be joining us in the lunchroom.
The UFT was proud when it (lunchroom duty) was eliminated, gleefully selling us a new contract. They now seem proud to have gotten it reinstated, gleefully selling us a new contract. How does Mr. Casey explain that?
It's remarkable that having ten students in a room for 37 minutes is not a teaching period. Did everyone understand Mr. Casey's contention?
When I teach college at night, I sometimes get groups of ten people. And I, lacking Mr. Casey's apparent expertise, actually organize materials and teach. Perhaps Mr. Casey will be kind enough to share with us his preferred approach.
Perhaps Mr. Casey will further enlighten those of us too ignorant to discern the difference between "small group instruction" and "class."
As a teacher and a parent, it's my view that no conscientious educator would allow ten kids to sit and waste their time for 37.5 minutes a day. Doubtless Mr. Casey has a better approach.
I eagerly await the moment he shares that approach with us.
Do UFT muckety-mucks think they can tell us being in charge of a group of students, expressly for the purpose of "instruction" is not teaching? What do they take us for? Could it be that they think we were born yesterday?
Your responses are encouraged. Have a great Sunday, everyone. And enjoy Columbus Day, which seems to have survived this round of negotiations.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
The Piano
They came into the auditorium, two guys in white jumpsuits, and announced “We’re here for the piano.” Someone pointed to it.
Then they wheeled it out, the grand piano, and loaded it onto a truck.
No one ever saw that piano again.
Then they wheeled it out, the grand piano, and loaded it onto a truck.
No one ever saw that piano again.
Friday, October 07, 2005
I Was a Teenage UFT Transfer, or Why You Might Need the Current Contract One Day
Well, perhaps I was a little older, but I was teaching in a pretty bad school. Discipline in the halls was virtually non-existent. We’d had a very tough principal who actually took action against troublesome students, but he was replaced by a Board of Ed. hack with a moustache. He had a great smile, his moustache would move up and down, and words would come from his mouth, but they rarely signified much. He was very careful not to offend any member of the community, so for kids, there were no longer significant consequences for anything they did.
My classroom was different. I terrorized the kids by phoning their parents in Spanish and reporting absolutely everything that happened in the class, along with grades, absences and lateness. It was simply not worth acting out in my ESL classes.
Next door to me was Mr. Mudd, the Spanish teacher. Mr. Mudd spoke with a very thick accent that was by no means Spanish. He had been the principal of a school in his home country, and expected absolute unquestioning obedience from his students. He did not receive it.
For some reason, Mr. Mudd was assigned five Spanish 1 classes, including three composed of native speakers. The natives in particular found Mr. Mudd’s Spanish laughable, and delighted in torturing him with all sorts of juvenile pranks: tacks on the chair, verbally imitating his empty threats, spitballs and such. Every day, he’d send scores of uncooperative kids to my supervisor, inconveniently tearing her away from whatever it was she did in that little office. I never threw kids out of class, figuring time spent with me was punishment enough.
One day, Mr. Mudd found a regulation somewhere stating that if a student had previously failed a teacher’s class, that student did not have to repeat that class with that teacher. This was a great opportunity for Mr. Mudd, since he had failed virtually everyone in all of his classes. He started sending names to the supervisor, who then had to re-assign all the students out of Spanish one.
At the end of the semester, I was called into the supervisor’s office. She had a cunning plan. She knew I then had a second job that began at 3:30, and informed me that the following semester I, an ESL teacher, would be teaching all Spanish 1 classes. If I declined, I would receive the only late class in the department, and be forced to give up my second job.
It was a perfect plan. Now, Mr. Mudd would no longer be sending those kids into her office, and she could do whatever it was she did in that office in peace. I would never send kids to her office, I would have no lists of students who couldn’t be in my classes, and she could put all those kids in Spanish 1 again. Many of them weren’t taking to French or Italian, and the ones who spoke little or no English had become particularly troublesome.
What could I do? I told her to do whatever she wished. Then, I applied for a UFT transfer to a school that was located within minutes of my second job. It did not require the approval of my AP, but only the signature of my principal. He waved his moustache up and down happily, and declared I’d never get a position in the school I’d requested.
The following September, while I attended orientation meetings in the school I requested, both the principal and my supervisor of my old school were perplexed at my absence. The UFT transfer plan precluded my being punished for doing my job too well.
Perhaps it will do the same for you one day.
But only if you vote “NO” on this awful contract proposal.
My classroom was different. I terrorized the kids by phoning their parents in Spanish and reporting absolutely everything that happened in the class, along with grades, absences and lateness. It was simply not worth acting out in my ESL classes.
Next door to me was Mr. Mudd, the Spanish teacher. Mr. Mudd spoke with a very thick accent that was by no means Spanish. He had been the principal of a school in his home country, and expected absolute unquestioning obedience from his students. He did not receive it.
For some reason, Mr. Mudd was assigned five Spanish 1 classes, including three composed of native speakers. The natives in particular found Mr. Mudd’s Spanish laughable, and delighted in torturing him with all sorts of juvenile pranks: tacks on the chair, verbally imitating his empty threats, spitballs and such. Every day, he’d send scores of uncooperative kids to my supervisor, inconveniently tearing her away from whatever it was she did in that little office. I never threw kids out of class, figuring time spent with me was punishment enough.
One day, Mr. Mudd found a regulation somewhere stating that if a student had previously failed a teacher’s class, that student did not have to repeat that class with that teacher. This was a great opportunity for Mr. Mudd, since he had failed virtually everyone in all of his classes. He started sending names to the supervisor, who then had to re-assign all the students out of Spanish one.
At the end of the semester, I was called into the supervisor’s office. She had a cunning plan. She knew I then had a second job that began at 3:30, and informed me that the following semester I, an ESL teacher, would be teaching all Spanish 1 classes. If I declined, I would receive the only late class in the department, and be forced to give up my second job.
It was a perfect plan. Now, Mr. Mudd would no longer be sending those kids into her office, and she could do whatever it was she did in that office in peace. I would never send kids to her office, I would have no lists of students who couldn’t be in my classes, and she could put all those kids in Spanish 1 again. Many of them weren’t taking to French or Italian, and the ones who spoke little or no English had become particularly troublesome.
What could I do? I told her to do whatever she wished. Then, I applied for a UFT transfer to a school that was located within minutes of my second job. It did not require the approval of my AP, but only the signature of my principal. He waved his moustache up and down happily, and declared I’d never get a position in the school I’d requested.
The following September, while I attended orientation meetings in the school I requested, both the principal and my supervisor of my old school were perplexed at my absence. The UFT transfer plan precluded my being punished for doing my job too well.
Perhaps it will do the same for you one day.
But only if you vote “NO” on this awful contract proposal.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Overheard
Of teachers:
“I could vote for it because I’m going to retire. But that would go against everything I went on strike for. I don’t believe in giving all this stuff back.”
“They pretend to pay me, and I pretend I’m working.”
Of students:
“Without my glasses, I can’t even find my glasses.”
“This room smells like math.”
(Upon watching me, her teacher, feign a heart attack over a subject-verb agreement error)
“You needs to calm down, man.”
“I could vote for it because I’m going to retire. But that would go against everything I went on strike for. I don’t believe in giving all this stuff back.”
“They pretend to pay me, and I pretend I’m working.”
Of students:
“Without my glasses, I can’t even find my glasses.”
“This room smells like math.”
(Upon watching me, her teacher, feign a heart attack over a subject-verb agreement error)
“You needs to calm down, man.”
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Roadmap to a Sixth Teaching Period
Goshdarn it, why oh why are we being so negative? Did Martha Stewart stop baking cookies just because they sent her to the stoney lonesome for a few months? When GW failed to find any WMDs, did he suffer any consequences? When Rod Paige got caught faking the “Texas Miracle,” did he go to jail? Of course not! Ol’ Rod just paid journalists to push his programs, called the NEA a “terrorist organization, ” and rode quietly off into the sunset.
So let's just stop being such a "Gloomy Gus," and look at the bright side of the new UFT contract, shall we? With the innovative language of this unprecedented document, the “Roadmap to a Sixth Teaching Period,” you’ll be a better teacher, a better human being, and surely edge closer to that spiritual fulfillment that's been eluding you all these years.
Aren’t you sick to death of getting raises just to have more money? Wouldn’t you rather increase your workload while essentially getting paid the same or less? Wouldn’t everyone? Well, here’s your chance.
First of all, rather than planning lessons or helping kids, you’ll have the opportunity to experience firsthand the sublime satisfaction of refereeing food fights. Or perhaps you’ll spend that period in one of Chancellor Klein’s luxuriously appointed student bathrooms, checking hall passes and lecturing kids you’ve never seen before on the perils of wearing hats. Maybe you'll even get to assist a secretary or a paraprofessional in filling out forms! Some teachers haven’t done these things before, but if you haven’t, believe me, there’s nothing quite like that first time.
Not only that, but after a full day’s work, you’ll spend 37.5 minutes on “small group instruction” since your classes, under this stellar contract, will still be the largest in the state. Think of all the new and exciting people you'll get to see and experience on the parkway after school. And don’t forget the inevitable extra ten minutes coming in the next contract, which will give you six full periods of teaching the largest classes in the state. What's that you say? "Oh boy!" "I can't wait!" But that's not all!
Instead of that wasteful Labor Day trip, you'll save big on gas by spending two perfect summer days being indoctrinated in the mysterious and arcane plans of Chancellor Klein. Get ready to sit in a hot auditorium and listen to his overpaid sycophantic flunkies tell you what a great job he's doing, and how and why you should stop screwing it up. And you'll yet enjoy another vacation day (for your students) hearing even more about much-neglected topics such as "The Art of Reading Aloud to 34 Seventeen Year Old Kids Who Don't Understand the Language You're Speaking."
Best of all, even with all these extras, you can rest secure in the knowledge you’re still the lowest paid teachers in the area. The fact is, while UFT pay edges up, our suburban colleagues get raises too, larger than ours, and without optional extras like those mentioned above. The UFT, in a particularly canny negotiating tactic, regularly underestimates the difference in pay between us. If you don’t believe me, visit a Nassau library and ask to see their teacher pay schedules, which are annually published in booklets by NYSUT.
Frankly, I can't wait till the next contract, when they give us that sixth full class we’ve all been hankering for. Like many of you, I’m bone weary of having such an effortless, cushy job, and if the UFT hadn’t proposed this contract, I was personally gonna circulate a petition demanding more work and less pay. So let’s all put our heads together and figure out what else we can sell them come October 2007.
Hmm…Tenure? Health insurance? Your firstborn?
So let's just stop being such a "Gloomy Gus," and look at the bright side of the new UFT contract, shall we? With the innovative language of this unprecedented document, the “Roadmap to a Sixth Teaching Period,” you’ll be a better teacher, a better human being, and surely edge closer to that spiritual fulfillment that's been eluding you all these years.
Aren’t you sick to death of getting raises just to have more money? Wouldn’t you rather increase your workload while essentially getting paid the same or less? Wouldn’t everyone? Well, here’s your chance.
First of all, rather than planning lessons or helping kids, you’ll have the opportunity to experience firsthand the sublime satisfaction of refereeing food fights. Or perhaps you’ll spend that period in one of Chancellor Klein’s luxuriously appointed student bathrooms, checking hall passes and lecturing kids you’ve never seen before on the perils of wearing hats. Maybe you'll even get to assist a secretary or a paraprofessional in filling out forms! Some teachers haven’t done these things before, but if you haven’t, believe me, there’s nothing quite like that first time.
Not only that, but after a full day’s work, you’ll spend 37.5 minutes on “small group instruction” since your classes, under this stellar contract, will still be the largest in the state. Think of all the new and exciting people you'll get to see and experience on the parkway after school. And don’t forget the inevitable extra ten minutes coming in the next contract, which will give you six full periods of teaching the largest classes in the state. What's that you say? "Oh boy!" "I can't wait!" But that's not all!
Instead of that wasteful Labor Day trip, you'll save big on gas by spending two perfect summer days being indoctrinated in the mysterious and arcane plans of Chancellor Klein. Get ready to sit in a hot auditorium and listen to his overpaid sycophantic flunkies tell you what a great job he's doing, and how and why you should stop screwing it up. And you'll yet enjoy another vacation day (for your students) hearing even more about much-neglected topics such as "The Art of Reading Aloud to 34 Seventeen Year Old Kids Who Don't Understand the Language You're Speaking."
Best of all, even with all these extras, you can rest secure in the knowledge you’re still the lowest paid teachers in the area. The fact is, while UFT pay edges up, our suburban colleagues get raises too, larger than ours, and without optional extras like those mentioned above. The UFT, in a particularly canny negotiating tactic, regularly underestimates the difference in pay between us. If you don’t believe me, visit a Nassau library and ask to see their teacher pay schedules, which are annually published in booklets by NYSUT.
Frankly, I can't wait till the next contract, when they give us that sixth full class we’ve all been hankering for. Like many of you, I’m bone weary of having such an effortless, cushy job, and if the UFT hadn’t proposed this contract, I was personally gonna circulate a petition demanding more work and less pay. So let’s all put our heads together and figure out what else we can sell them come October 2007.
Hmm…Tenure? Health insurance? Your firstborn?
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Edwize Silent on Contract Pact
I'm curious why Edwize, the UFT blog, has seen fit to publish no new thread related to the new contract proposal. Interesting though the "New Teacher Diaries" may be, they hardly reflect what's on the minds of most teachers this week.
Could it be they don't want to know how the rank and file feel about the proposed contract? Or could it be they already do, and would prefer not to hear about it further?
Feel free to speculate here, and let's hope they show some guts and prove us wrong.
Could it be they don't want to know how the rank and file feel about the proposed contract? Or could it be they already do, and would prefer not to hear about it further?
Feel free to speculate here, and let's hope they show some guts and prove us wrong.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Contract Update (revised)
Today's NY Times reports an agreement between the UFT and Bloomberg for a 52 month contract with a 14.25% increase.
Highlights include:
-3 extra days listening to Klein's flunkies pontificate
-10 minutes extra per day
-fewer transfer options
-a sixth 37.5 minute class of "small group instruction" 4x weekly
-no right to grieve letters in your file
-return to lunch duty, hall patrol, homeroom, potty patrol et al
-UFT silence on the mayoral election as quid pro quo
Hopefully, the UFT will see fit to share further details with us soon.
Highlights include:
-3 extra days listening to Klein's flunkies pontificate
-10 minutes extra per day
-fewer transfer options
-a sixth 37.5 minute class of "small group instruction" 4x weekly
-no right to grieve letters in your file
-return to lunch duty, hall patrol, homeroom, potty patrol et al
-UFT silence on the mayoral election as quid pro quo
Hopefully, the UFT will see fit to share further details with us soon.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Vivian
I’m in the department office, correcting papers and congratulating myself that I have only 5 million more to go when Vivian bursts in, crying hysterically. I try to calm her down, and ask what’s wrong. Vivian, an incredibly conscientious student who arrived from China only months ago, thrusts a paper in my face and begins to cry even louder.
It’s in Chinese. Between sobs, she sputters she got a D on her composition, and apparently, it’s all but ruined her young life.
“I’m sorry, Vivian, but I can’t understand Chinese. Did you ask the teacher why?”
“Yes.” (sob, sniff….)
“What did he tell you?”
“I don’t know.” (cry, sob)
“What do you mean?”
“I c-c-can’t understand his Chinese.” (sniff, sniff)
“Come on, Vivian.”
“NO! NOBODY understand his Chinese!”
“Well, you must understand it better than me...”
“I ask him five time, and I don’t understand. Finally, he tell me in English….” (sob, cry, cry…”)
“What did he tell you, Vivian?”
“He tell me in English ‘It suck!.’ “ (serious bawling)
Well, as criticism goes, it’s certainly concise.
Later, I look for her teacher and find him. Unfortunately, I find his English utterly incomprehensible. That’s unusual for me—my job involves regularly dealing with people who speak little or no English. I have a Chinese-speaking colleague call Vivian’s parents on my behalf and tell them what a wonderful kid she is and how well she’s doing in my class.
It probably won’t help.
It’s in Chinese. Between sobs, she sputters she got a D on her composition, and apparently, it’s all but ruined her young life.
“I’m sorry, Vivian, but I can’t understand Chinese. Did you ask the teacher why?”
“Yes.” (sob, sniff….)
“What did he tell you?”
“I don’t know.” (cry, sob)
“What do you mean?”
“I c-c-can’t understand his Chinese.” (sniff, sniff)
“Come on, Vivian.”
“NO! NOBODY understand his Chinese!”
“Well, you must understand it better than me...”
“I ask him five time, and I don’t understand. Finally, he tell me in English….” (sob, cry, cry…”)
“What did he tell you, Vivian?”
“He tell me in English ‘It suck!.’ “ (serious bawling)
Well, as criticism goes, it’s certainly concise.
Later, I look for her teacher and find him. Unfortunately, I find his English utterly incomprehensible. That’s unusual for me—my job involves regularly dealing with people who speak little or no English. I have a Chinese-speaking colleague call Vivian’s parents on my behalf and tell them what a wonderful kid she is and how well she’s doing in my class.
It probably won’t help.
Correction
Obviously I was premature in announcing that a deal between Bloomberg and the UFT was all but signed. While I was certainly not the only one laboring under that particular misconception, I'll refrain from further criticism of the contract until if and when there is one.
My feelings about the fact-finders report remain the same--it's absolutely unacceptable, and a very, very bad precedent. I very much think it will form the basis of any contract to which the UFT leadership agrees, but continue to hope against hope they will prove me wrong.
My feelings about the fact-finders report remain the same--it's absolutely unacceptable, and a very, very bad precedent. I very much think it will form the basis of any contract to which the UFT leadership agrees, but continue to hope against hope they will prove me wrong.
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