For over 20 years, I’ve been attending faculty meetings. Several times a year, a weary administrator stands in front of a room, and tells us just how things are going to be:
“From now on, there will be no more standing in front of the room.”
“This year, all student work must be placed in portfolios.”
“The aim must be phrased as a question.”
“The aim must be phrased as a statement.”
“Portfolios are out.”
“There must be bell-to-bell instruction.”
“Instruction must last for no more than 10 minutes.”
All the approaches sound grand when you hear them. Each one is calculated to solve all the ills in education, and finally clear up those lingering doubts about whether or not your teaching techniques are valid. Why, then, do they so frequently contradict one another?
Well, there’s probably validity in most techniques, contradictory or no. The problem is, they’re invariably presented as not only good, but irreplaceable and exclusive as well. Discussion is now useless, because we must work in groups, all the time, every day without exception. Nothing else can possibly work. Ever.
After hearing this enough times, a reasonable mind cannot help but grow skeptical.
Aren’t they simply going to replace this revolutionary technique with something new next year? Won’t they then tell you every minute you’ve spent applying last year’s technique was a complete and utter waste of time? Why should you bother to listen at the next meeting?
Well, it’s not the supervisors’ fault that they’ve been assigned to tell you the newest earth-shattering technique. They’re just doing their jobs. If they’re reasonable (and some are), they won’t insist you use this year’s technique to the exclusion of all others. That, you’ll have to judge for yourself.
Here’s what’s important—these techniques may or may not work for you. One thing the theorists invariably fail to take into account is that teachers, actually, are not donuts, or widgets, and it’s genuinely possible that different techniques may suit different personalities.
When you really find what works for you, you’ve found your own voice. No trendy technique can compete with that. Unfortunately, what works for you may not work for me. And it may not work for the unfortunate group of teachers compelled to sit at the meeting, either.
Why can’t the geniuses who devise these techniques realize that? And why must every new technique supplant every other that came before it?
It seems to me there’s more than one valid approach to communicating and reaching out to young minds. I know what works for me.
Regrettably, it does not necessarily follow that I know what will work for you.
And that’s just one reason I’m not an administrator.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Friday, November 11, 2005
Slings and Arrows
It’s always instructive to read Edwize. Let’s see, NYU graduate students are denied representation. Outrageous! NYC high school teachers have the largest student load in the area. Outrageous! Tweed’s latest anti-teacher nonsense. Also outrageous!
I'm surprised, though, to see Unity writers decrying the issue of the large number of students covered by high school teachers. It’s absolutely true a New York City high school teacher can have up to 170 students, the largest student load in the area. And they’re absolutely correct that class size is one of the most crucial aspects of quality education.
What Unity writers fail to point out is that under the new contract, Unity negotiators failed to enact any regulations to reduce class size. Not only that, but with the Unity-negotiated addition of an unprecedented sixth class, NYC high school teachers will actually have a higher student load.
How dare they complain about our student loads? When presented with an opportunity to remedy the situation, they actually managed to worsen it.
After numerous comments that paid Unity non-teachers were dominating the dialogue, Edwize presented a “voice from the trenches.” This voice, however, turned out to be Unity CC Redhog, a regular pro-Unity commenter, writing under another name to in order to pretend he was a typical teacher with no particular agenda.
Redhog, incidentally, revealed to me via email that he plans to retire within the year. He’ll be sunning himself in Florida, perhaps, but certainly enjoying 15% higher retirement pay, with a COLA, a guaranteed raise working teachers don’t get, while we dodge flying tuna sandwiches during cafeteria duty.
And how do Unity writers get on their high horses and demand rights for others when, right in their own house, high school teachers have been denied their choice of VPs since 1994? In a blatantly anti-democratic act, Unity amended the constitution so that we would be forever drowned out by the votes of largely pro-Unity elementary teachers.
It's as though President Bush decreed one day that, for fairness' sake, Alaska, Kansas, and Texas could help New York choose its governor.
Some Unity writers like to invoke the "tradition of union democracy" to justify their tirades against Unity opponents. Nonetheless, they're perfectly comfortable writing for the front page of Edwize, which we support with our dues. They have no apparent problem with the fact that 40% of working, voting union teachers who opposed the contract are offered no representation on that page.
Unity freely distributes pro-contract literature in every school mailbox in New York City. Opponents of the contract are flatly denied the opportunity to do the same.
Such “traditions of union democracy,” as practiced by Unity, led to the fall of another prominent union: the Soviet Union.
It’s time now to take Unity down with it.
I'm surprised, though, to see Unity writers decrying the issue of the large number of students covered by high school teachers. It’s absolutely true a New York City high school teacher can have up to 170 students, the largest student load in the area. And they’re absolutely correct that class size is one of the most crucial aspects of quality education.
What Unity writers fail to point out is that under the new contract, Unity negotiators failed to enact any regulations to reduce class size. Not only that, but with the Unity-negotiated addition of an unprecedented sixth class, NYC high school teachers will actually have a higher student load.
How dare they complain about our student loads? When presented with an opportunity to remedy the situation, they actually managed to worsen it.
After numerous comments that paid Unity non-teachers were dominating the dialogue, Edwize presented a “voice from the trenches.” This voice, however, turned out to be Unity CC Redhog, a regular pro-Unity commenter, writing under another name to in order to pretend he was a typical teacher with no particular agenda.
Redhog, incidentally, revealed to me via email that he plans to retire within the year. He’ll be sunning himself in Florida, perhaps, but certainly enjoying 15% higher retirement pay, with a COLA, a guaranteed raise working teachers don’t get, while we dodge flying tuna sandwiches during cafeteria duty.
And how do Unity writers get on their high horses and demand rights for others when, right in their own house, high school teachers have been denied their choice of VPs since 1994? In a blatantly anti-democratic act, Unity amended the constitution so that we would be forever drowned out by the votes of largely pro-Unity elementary teachers.
It's as though President Bush decreed one day that, for fairness' sake, Alaska, Kansas, and Texas could help New York choose its governor.
Some Unity writers like to invoke the "tradition of union democracy" to justify their tirades against Unity opponents. Nonetheless, they're perfectly comfortable writing for the front page of Edwize, which we support with our dues. They have no apparent problem with the fact that 40% of working, voting union teachers who opposed the contract are offered no representation on that page.
Unity freely distributes pro-contract literature in every school mailbox in New York City. Opponents of the contract are flatly denied the opportunity to do the same.
Such “traditions of union democracy,” as practiced by Unity, led to the fall of another prominent union: the Soviet Union.
It’s time now to take Unity down with it.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Local Yokels
Diane Ravitch, one of the brightest lights in American education, suggests in this week's NY Times we need a national standard for testing. While Mayor Mike got re-elected, in part, on boasts about 4th grade achievement, Ms. Ravitch questions the validity of state tests.
We all know test scores can be interpreted and manipulated, candidate pools can be cherry-picked, and tests can be designed to produce virtually whatever results we desire. Ravitch suggests that, under an impartial national standard, we’re leaving quite a few kids behind, pointedly including Mayor Bloomberg’s NY contingent, whose scores, apparently, were exaggerated threefold for the city that couldn’t wait to re-elect him.
She’s right. It’s ridiculous that people in New York need to read better than people in Utah. I don’t care how many wives you have. They still need to read those pre-nups.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Those Who Can't Teach Gym, Become Chancellor
Mr. Lawrence’s blog is very funny. You ought to check it out. He just wrote about substituting as an elementary gym teacher. Here’s what he likes about it:
It's one of those times of the day in which they are encouraged to run around, screaming, and I can let them. Now, if they moved me from Phys. Ed. to a classroom - like they've done in the past - I'd be the one running around and screaming...
When I read that, I’d just gotten back from explaining to my college ESL class the meaning of "Those who can't do, teach," and followed it with the oft-heard rejoinder "Those who can't teach, teach gym."
I shared with them my secret fantasy of becoming a gym teacher, tossing out the basketballs, saying "Choose up sides and play," and sitting down to a cigarette and a big sandwich , always keeping a careful eye on the watch for the time when I could say, "OK, get back and change."
If only I had thought of it sooner. I suppose I could go get another Master’s, but it’s probably too late to take up smoking, so why bother?
Sunday, November 06, 2005
An Anonymous Comment
I keep thinking about this comment someone left a few days back. It's very clever, and I'm reposting it below:
Here in NYC, a cosmopolitan, sophisticated world class city with numerous museums, theatre, libraries and institutions of higher learning -- here and only here can we have a book smart, university educated membership voting against their own interests.
The taxi driver, the air conditioner repair man, the shoe shine and hot dog vendor all understand the concepts of labor union, working class and give backs. They understand that more time and less rights do not equal more money. They may not understand all the vocabulary in the Wall St. Journal but they understand the word NO and will use it if they need to. No, as in 'no to this contract' as in 'not in my best interests'. The membership ratified the contract because they are not used to using the word NO and they forgot how to say it.
"No, you cannot go to the bathroom. No, you cannot hand in late homework. No, we do not want this contract."
Here in NYC, a cosmopolitan, sophisticated world class city with numerous museums, theatre, libraries and institutions of higher learning -- here and only here can we have a book smart, university educated membership voting against their own interests.
The taxi driver, the air conditioner repair man, the shoe shine and hot dog vendor all understand the concepts of labor union, working class and give backs. They understand that more time and less rights do not equal more money. They may not understand all the vocabulary in the Wall St. Journal but they understand the word NO and will use it if they need to. No, as in 'no to this contract' as in 'not in my best interests'. The membership ratified the contract because they are not used to using the word NO and they forgot how to say it.
"No, you cannot go to the bathroom. No, you cannot hand in late homework. No, we do not want this contract."
Be Careful on the LIE
Apparently, cops are serious about those HOV lanes. A San Rafael driver was fined for having a legless dummy in the passenger seat. Perhaps the cop found the dummy suspicious because it was wearing a Miami Dolphins jacket.
You could outfit your dummy in a Yankee jacket, I suppose. But what if the cop happens to be a Met fan?
You could outfit your dummy in a Yankee jacket, I suppose. But what if the cop happens to be a Met fan?
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Freddy's New Ad
It's a new kind of love story. Though I'd have rather seen him kiss the horse.
You ought to get kissed, for 7 million bucks, I guess.
You ought to get kissed, for 7 million bucks, I guess.
Simplicity Itself
Quality education is elusive. But the reasons for it are not. In New York City, we dump 34 kids in a class and hire virtually anyone available to teach them. The Chancellor and the tabloids whine endlessly about awful teachers. Remarkably, there are many good, even great teachers working here.
The bad ones, though, almost defy description. None would be hired in suburban schools. Many would not be hired in fast food joints.
But awful teachers are necessary, to give the tabloids fodder. The chancellor needs scapegoats to cover his overall lack of improvement, and make no mistake—“reform” is not necessarily improvement. Religiously maintaining the state’s lowest standard for teachers has not brought about improvement. Having the highest class size in the area has not helped much either.
The mayor and the governor volley the CFE case back and forth, neither willing to make the necessary financial commitment to good teachers or small classes. Unlike mammoth sport stadiums, they’re too expensive. They’re not worth it, apparently.
How could we really improve the school system?
A right-wing school teacher acquaintance of mine has a great idea about this. Ordinarily, we argue endlessly about everything. But on schools, oddly enough, we’re almost in perfect harmony.
Require those who administer public schools to patronize them. How are mayors, or chancellors, going to put their hearts and souls into systems they don’t even take part in?
My kid goes to a public school. Make their kids go to public schools too, and you’ll see how fast things turn around.
Do you think Sir Rudy would have suggested compelling welfare recipients to work in public schools if his kids were in attendance? While he may see chronically out of work individuals as adequate role models for your kids, or mine, do you think he sees them as role models for his kids?
I doubt it.
The bad ones, though, almost defy description. None would be hired in suburban schools. Many would not be hired in fast food joints.
But awful teachers are necessary, to give the tabloids fodder. The chancellor needs scapegoats to cover his overall lack of improvement, and make no mistake—“reform” is not necessarily improvement. Religiously maintaining the state’s lowest standard for teachers has not brought about improvement. Having the highest class size in the area has not helped much either.
The mayor and the governor volley the CFE case back and forth, neither willing to make the necessary financial commitment to good teachers or small classes. Unlike mammoth sport stadiums, they’re too expensive. They’re not worth it, apparently.
How could we really improve the school system?
A right-wing school teacher acquaintance of mine has a great idea about this. Ordinarily, we argue endlessly about everything. But on schools, oddly enough, we’re almost in perfect harmony.
Require those who administer public schools to patronize them. How are mayors, or chancellors, going to put their hearts and souls into systems they don’t even take part in?
My kid goes to a public school. Make their kids go to public schools too, and you’ll see how fast things turn around.
Do you think Sir Rudy would have suggested compelling welfare recipients to work in public schools if his kids were in attendance? While he may see chronically out of work individuals as adequate role models for your kids, or mine, do you think he sees them as role models for his kids?
I doubt it.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Get Your Apron Ready
You're headed for lunchroom duty.
UFT Contract passes--63%-37%.
Teachers Yes 39728 No 25962
School Secretaries Yes 2455 No 618
Paras Yes 1325 No 538
Total Yes 54473 No 32144
Total Votes Scanned 86847
Figures from ICE-UFT Blog
UFT Contract passes--63%-37%.
Teachers Yes 39728 No 25962
School Secretaries Yes 2455 No 618
Paras Yes 1325 No 538
Total Yes 54473 No 32144
Total Votes Scanned 86847
Figures from ICE-UFT Blog
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Make Them An Offer They Can't Refuse
It suddenly hit me today--we're going about this all wrong.
Why are we debating about contracts, or whether we need an iconoclastic leader, or good old, reliable Unity? They won't get us what we want.
For many years, we'd heard and read about the custodians' union, and how corrupt it was, and how overpaid they were. They were buying jeeps for their personal use on the city's dime. They were working on their yachts in Long Island when they were supposed to be mopping a floor. They were painting not one inch above 7 feet, because union regs forbade it.
And you'd read about their union heads getting rubbed out on the street over who knows what. Was it true? What's the difference?
Naturally, I abhor violence. But why can't we have a mobbed-up union boss? And please don't lecture me about discrimination, because mobs now come from all over. I've got nothing against Asian, Russian, or South American mobs in our corner. Race is not an issue, and it's utterly beside the point. One mobster is as good as another, say I.
Why bother with PERB? Who needs a bunch of lawyers sitting with calculators figuring how many half minutes we need to add to our days?
We need someone getting us jobs that people really want to have. Do you remember the Sopranos episodes with the dozen guys sitting on lawn chairs at the construction site? Why should Tweed get all the no-show jobs?
"Nice little City Hall you've got here. It would be a shame if anything were to happen to it." Mayor Bloomberg is a businessman, and if that isn't a call to negotiate, I don't know what is. It beats the hell out of waiting till election time, showing him an unsavory ad we paid to produce, and threatening to drain even more millions from our coffers showing it around town.
Screw the cutesy television commercials that say how hard we work and how unappreciated we are. They cost us bazillions in dues, and just make the Daily News that much more vicious when decrying the perfidy of teachers.
While I certainly would never teach my students to leave a decapitated horse's head on the pillow of an uncooperative employer, why shouldn't we send some hearty soul to Mayor Mike's upstate horse farm to let him know we mean business? Even a very highly-paid individual would cost a fraction of what we pay for an ineffectual TV campaign.
I ask you--is it too much to ask the forces of corruption to align themselves with us for a change?
Why are we debating about contracts, or whether we need an iconoclastic leader, or good old, reliable Unity? They won't get us what we want.
For many years, we'd heard and read about the custodians' union, and how corrupt it was, and how overpaid they were. They were buying jeeps for their personal use on the city's dime. They were working on their yachts in Long Island when they were supposed to be mopping a floor. They were painting not one inch above 7 feet, because union regs forbade it.
And you'd read about their union heads getting rubbed out on the street over who knows what. Was it true? What's the difference?
Naturally, I abhor violence. But why can't we have a mobbed-up union boss? And please don't lecture me about discrimination, because mobs now come from all over. I've got nothing against Asian, Russian, or South American mobs in our corner. Race is not an issue, and it's utterly beside the point. One mobster is as good as another, say I.
Why bother with PERB? Who needs a bunch of lawyers sitting with calculators figuring how many half minutes we need to add to our days?
We need someone getting us jobs that people really want to have. Do you remember the Sopranos episodes with the dozen guys sitting on lawn chairs at the construction site? Why should Tweed get all the no-show jobs?
"Nice little City Hall you've got here. It would be a shame if anything were to happen to it." Mayor Bloomberg is a businessman, and if that isn't a call to negotiate, I don't know what is. It beats the hell out of waiting till election time, showing him an unsavory ad we paid to produce, and threatening to drain even more millions from our coffers showing it around town.
Screw the cutesy television commercials that say how hard we work and how unappreciated we are. They cost us bazillions in dues, and just make the Daily News that much more vicious when decrying the perfidy of teachers.
While I certainly would never teach my students to leave a decapitated horse's head on the pillow of an uncooperative employer, why shouldn't we send some hearty soul to Mayor Mike's upstate horse farm to let him know we mean business? Even a very highly-paid individual would cost a fraction of what we pay for an ineffectual TV campaign.
I ask you--is it too much to ask the forces of corruption to align themselves with us for a change?
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
The Dumb Class
Imagine yourself, the first day at a new school.
“We’re giving you the dumb class, Ms. D.”
“The dumb class? What’s that? Why am I teaching it?”
Well, Ms. D., they can’t learn, and you can’t teach, so putting you together is a thing of beauty.”
It’s a long-standing tradition to dump the very worst programs on new teachers, and then fine-tune them to make them even worse. That’s what happened to me when I started. I toyed with an offer of driving a FedEx Truck, which actually paid a little more at the time.
My first job was awful. I started with 4 programs, and then they took one of my classes away and gave me a fifth—I kid you not. It’s a wonder I stayed, because my first semester was pure hell.
I think this—if you’re smart, and you like kids, you’ll probably be a good teacher. Lord knows NYC’s kids need you.
It’s too bad we still drive so many young teachers away, though. I got to really love it after the first 6 months or so.
“We’re giving you the dumb class, Ms. D.”
“The dumb class? What’s that? Why am I teaching it?”
Well, Ms. D., they can’t learn, and you can’t teach, so putting you together is a thing of beauty.”
It’s a long-standing tradition to dump the very worst programs on new teachers, and then fine-tune them to make them even worse. That’s what happened to me when I started. I toyed with an offer of driving a FedEx Truck, which actually paid a little more at the time.
My first job was awful. I started with 4 programs, and then they took one of my classes away and gave me a fifth—I kid you not. It’s a wonder I stayed, because my first semester was pure hell.
I think this—if you’re smart, and you like kids, you’ll probably be a good teacher. Lord knows NYC’s kids need you.
It’s too bad we still drive so many young teachers away, though. I got to really love it after the first 6 months or so.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Remembering Sir Rudy
Do you ever notice you never see Rudy Giuliani and Osama Bin Laden in the same place? I mean, think about it—who actually benefited from 9/11 besides these two? Is it a Superman/ Clark Kent thing? No wonder they still haven't found Osama.
Seriously, 9/11 revived Rudy’s career—one day he was a bum, the next, a saint.
This is the same Rudy Giuliani who proposed forcing welfare recipients to work in NYC schools. He figured people chronically unable to find work were adequate role models for the city 1.1 million kids. After all, his kids didn’t attend public schools anyway. When people complained, he got on his high horse, accused them of racism, and quietly ditched the plan.
He made Bill Clinton look like an altar boy, going to court to demand the right to bring his mistress into the home he shared with his wife and two young children Should Rudy have the audacity to run for Prez, and there's no indication he doesn't, how Clinton bashers will rationalize supporting him is beyond me.
Rudy, despite advice to the contrary, insisted on placing his emergency command post on the 20th some odd floor of the WTC, a demonstrated target for terrorists. The press made nothing of that, and after it was destroyed Rudy commandeered a public school to replace it, doubtless figuring it had no value whatsoever. Parents of the dispersed children failed to share his point of view, and many sent their kids to private schools rather than have them shoveled slapdash into overcrowded, unfamiliar buildings.
Rudy presided over the worst disaster in NYC history. FDNY members ran into crumbling buildings, many lost their lives, and Rudy got all the credit.
Al Sharpton said Bozo the Clown could have done as well as Rudy.
Despite term limits, Rudy suggested he needed to stay on. Unlike Roosevelt and Lincoln, who stood for re-election in times of crisis, Rudy felt a need to unilaterally extend his term, in order to “keep up the morale” of NYPD and FDNY, to whom he’d been denying a contract for years.
By then, NYPD, who’d once supported him, had begun actively demonstrating against him, calling Rudy a traitor. That did not dissuade Rudy that they needed him. The press and public found Rudy’s idea preposterous and repugnant, said so, and some advisor must have persuaded him to change his mind.
Then, of course, he got knighted, and became Time’s Man of the Year. The rest is history.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
It's Staff Training Time!
"Has anyone here ever had to make a very important decision? Please raise your hand if you have."
"Everyone? That's great. Please take 3 or 4 minutes and write a paragraph describing the decision you made."
"OK. Maria, would you please tell us about your decision? How about you, Kai?"
"We're going to read a poem now in which the writer makes an important decision. It's called The Road Not Taken, and it was written by Robert Frost."
That may sound like a "motivation" and a "do now," but it isn't. It's called "triple A." It was all part of a riveting presentation given in my region by various 6-figure members of Klein's army.
The gist of it is this--we're no longer doing "motivation" and "do now." We're doing "triple A." These people are geniuses. They certainly deserve to be paid more than lowly teachers like us. I, for one, could never have come up with such a concept.
The presentation, consisting entirely of what you read above, took three hours. You can imagine how thrilled we must have been.
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see what they come up with for Election Day.
"Everyone? That's great. Please take 3 or 4 minutes and write a paragraph describing the decision you made."
"OK. Maria, would you please tell us about your decision? How about you, Kai?"
"We're going to read a poem now in which the writer makes an important decision. It's called The Road Not Taken, and it was written by Robert Frost."
That may sound like a "motivation" and a "do now," but it isn't. It's called "triple A." It was all part of a riveting presentation given in my region by various 6-figure members of Klein's army.
The gist of it is this--we're no longer doing "motivation" and "do now." We're doing "triple A." These people are geniuses. They certainly deserve to be paid more than lowly teachers like us. I, for one, could never have come up with such a concept.
The presentation, consisting entirely of what you read above, took three hours. You can imagine how thrilled we must have been.
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see what they come up with for Election Day.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Smile Pretty
Do you ever wonder how good the union plan dentists are? I’ve had some very good ones. But you have to be careful.
I took my 9-year-old daughter to an orthodontist who came highly recommended. He accepted UFT insurance, and his staff talked him up as though he were a god. The orthodontist told me my daughter would have to wear this awful night-brace appliance 18 hours a day for two years—in the night when she slept, and whenever she was at home.
I told the doctor she was very physically active, and that I could not imagine her wearing this bizarre implement for so long. The doctor told me the alternative was removal of four of her adult teeth, and braces in any case. He said it was better he worked with the kids early so he could be their “buddy.” He also informed me this treatment would cost $3,000 more than the plan would pay, and gave me a coupon book to pay over three or four years.
It pained me to see her wearing that thing.
A few days later, I told one of my colleagues, and he told me he had brought his daughter to the same doctor, with the same prognosis. He then took her to two non-plan orthodontists, who said the night-brace was unnecessary. Shortly thereafter, they told me the same thing. One said he hadn’t used such a device in twenty-five years. The other told me such incidences were a problem with insurance-driven practices. They both agreed she had a moderate problem that would require braces within a few years.
And both charged less than the UFT-plan orthodontist.
Orthodontists who prescribe kids night-braces belong in prison, right along the guys who record Mozart with disco dance tracks.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Count on Unity
We can always count on Unity. During the boom years of the nineties, they negotiated zero percent increases for teachers. Now, while NYC has a surplus, they give away the store and get us less than cost of living. They tell us that’s the best they can do, and claim anyone who disagrees is delusional.
Count on Unity, through bad times, to assure us that a bad contract is the best they can get, and through good times, to get us nothing or damn near close to it.
Unity propaganda tells you how anti-union the country is, and they’re right. They tell you the awful things the Bush White House lets corporations get away with, and they’re right. They tell you that nationally, things are tough for unions, and they’re right.
Closer to home, though, only 16.9% of New Yorkers voted for Bush. We know better here. We can and should do better here. The cops, the correction officers, and the sanitation workers did better than us. They don't have Unity negotiating for them.
You can always count on the comforting voice of Unity, the party that’s been in power forever, through good times and bad, to tell you “That’s the best we can do, and anyone who disagrees with us is delusional.”
Well, I’ve come to believe them. Under their stewardship, we’ve gone from the highest to lowest paid teachers in the area. I believe that’s the best they can do. I’ve also come to believe that it’s time for all the opposition parties to unite and bring in some new blood. Why?
Because Unity can't do any better, and anyone who thinks they can is delusional.
Vote no, and defeat this contract. Then vote out the entrenched, cynical, self-serving and impotent Unity hacks who think we work for them.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
The Power of Negative Thinking
There’s an art to saying “no,” but many of us have yet to master it. Just look around you at the supermarket checkout, where children battle in earnest over that Juicy Fruit Gum displayed there for just that purpose. How can you, the teacher, say no when Freddy, who stands on the desks, beats his chest and does high-quality Tarzan yells, asks to go to the bathroom for the 17th time this week?
After all, it’s such a relief to have him out wandering the halls, where he won’t bother you. Just like you, that parent at the checkout knows the noise stops with a simple purchase of gum. Unfortunately, the battle continues with every subsequent trip to the supermarket. Also, kids learn quickly that loud crying gets much-desired results in various other locales.
It’s inconvenient to assert yourself, and almost physically painful the first few times you do it, particularly as you must force yourself to remain calm while other human beings do everything within their power to rattle you. Still, I’m usually not getting angry while kids act out, but coldly calculating the best way to make them aware that such outbursts will have inconvenient consequences. With me, they generally include calls home. Here are some tips on how to do that.
Once you learn to say no, and mean it, your classroom problems will be far fewer. Another advantage in active naysaying is this: someday, it will make you a much better parent.
After all, it’s such a relief to have him out wandering the halls, where he won’t bother you. Just like you, that parent at the checkout knows the noise stops with a simple purchase of gum. Unfortunately, the battle continues with every subsequent trip to the supermarket. Also, kids learn quickly that loud crying gets much-desired results in various other locales.
It’s inconvenient to assert yourself, and almost physically painful the first few times you do it, particularly as you must force yourself to remain calm while other human beings do everything within their power to rattle you. Still, I’m usually not getting angry while kids act out, but coldly calculating the best way to make them aware that such outbursts will have inconvenient consequences. With me, they generally include calls home. Here are some tips on how to do that.
Once you learn to say no, and mean it, your classroom problems will be far fewer. Another advantage in active naysaying is this: someday, it will make you a much better parent.
Politics as Usual
A poster to Edwize reports that a contract supporter "ate a loyal UFT member." The poster called it "a bitt offensive."
While I can't determine whether or not the pun was intended, I must object to this sort of action.
While I can't determine whether or not the pun was intended, I must object to this sort of action.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Unity Visits Your School October 2009
Now I know some of you will be disappointed in the language of this document, but goshdarn it, this mayor is one tough negotiator and this was the best we could do. We’ve gotten the teachers an 8 percent raise over five years, and if you add this raise to the raises we’ve gotten over the past 54 years you’ll see that we’ve gotten over 2,000 percent in raises. Now, who else has gotten a 2,000 percent raise in this economic climate?
Of course a lot of crotchety high school teachers are upset about the sixth full teaching period, but you need to look at it from a more balanced perspective. This was the best we could do. After all, it’s only an extra ten minutes a day, and we’ve finally done away with those irritating 37.5 minute periods. Now, every school will close no later than 3:55, except for multiple session schools, and some other schools, which will close later.
I’d like to address the issue of merit pay. Now anyone who calls the new merit pay provision “merit pay” is simply ignorant. It is most definitely not merit pay. Furthermore, while principals will now determine who gets to be lead teacher, master teacher, and the coveted Mighty Morphin Power Teacher, we placed explicit language in the contract stating there would be absolutely no repeated sexual favors exchanged for merit pay. We were able to insert a very important clause that asserted this right regardless of a teacher’s sex, inclinations, or lifestyle.
Unfortunately, similar clauses relating to cronyism and nepotism were dropped so we could earn that last point of your raise. This was the best we could do in the current political climate. Be assured, however, that we will make these clauses a prime objective in our next round of negotiation.
It’s come to my attention that a lot of people are up in arms about our recent endorsement of the mayor, simply because he’s been frequently quoted as saying “I hate all teachers and everything they stand for.” Now, first of all, those quotes were taken out of context, and he most certainly meant it in the nicest way possible. Secondly, if we don’t occasionally endorse candidates from the other party, they may stop negotiating in good faith with us. We couldn’t have done any better.
Now we managed to get, free of charge, 100% waterproof wetsuits for all teachers doing lunch duty. They are completely hamburger, and veggie-burger resistant. Also, we fought hard and defeated management’s demand that teachers spend three periods a day in the lunchroom. No teacher will perform more than two lunchroom assignments per day, and only one of these assignments can involve cooking, cleaning, or operating the cash register.
Predictably, there’s been a lot of flack about half-day Saturdays, but we just had to give something back or we wouldn’t have been able to come up with this monumental new contract. We are pioneers—the first teachers in the country to work a five and a half day week. It is most certainly not a six day week, as those naysayers and rabble-rousers from ICE have been saying. Remember, they’re the same ones who complained that the 37.5 minute “small group instruction” was a sixth class. Note that in August, we have maintained the five day week. That took some tough negotiation on my part, but we absolutely refused to let teachers work on Saturdays in August.
Let’s talk about what we fought back in this contract. For one thing, there will be absolutely no school on Sundays. No teacher will have more than 40 students in a class, despite the mayor’s demands to the contrary. And despite the new provisions allowing principals to summarily fire anyone for any reason whatsoever, which were the best we could do, we have retained tenure! In all my 37 years of tough negotiations, this was the toughest! It was tough, I tell you. How tough was it?
It was so tough, we had to negotiate a new Tier 6, but all teachers will be able to retire with 60 years of service, regardless of how old they may have been when they started. For example, an 80 year old teacher who began at the age of 20 can now retire with no penalty. A 120 year old teacher who began at age 39, depending on when his or her birthday was, will now be able to….
Of course a lot of crotchety high school teachers are upset about the sixth full teaching period, but you need to look at it from a more balanced perspective. This was the best we could do. After all, it’s only an extra ten minutes a day, and we’ve finally done away with those irritating 37.5 minute periods. Now, every school will close no later than 3:55, except for multiple session schools, and some other schools, which will close later.
I’d like to address the issue of merit pay. Now anyone who calls the new merit pay provision “merit pay” is simply ignorant. It is most definitely not merit pay. Furthermore, while principals will now determine who gets to be lead teacher, master teacher, and the coveted Mighty Morphin Power Teacher, we placed explicit language in the contract stating there would be absolutely no repeated sexual favors exchanged for merit pay. We were able to insert a very important clause that asserted this right regardless of a teacher’s sex, inclinations, or lifestyle.
Unfortunately, similar clauses relating to cronyism and nepotism were dropped so we could earn that last point of your raise. This was the best we could do in the current political climate. Be assured, however, that we will make these clauses a prime objective in our next round of negotiation.
It’s come to my attention that a lot of people are up in arms about our recent endorsement of the mayor, simply because he’s been frequently quoted as saying “I hate all teachers and everything they stand for.” Now, first of all, those quotes were taken out of context, and he most certainly meant it in the nicest way possible. Secondly, if we don’t occasionally endorse candidates from the other party, they may stop negotiating in good faith with us. We couldn’t have done any better.
Now we managed to get, free of charge, 100% waterproof wetsuits for all teachers doing lunch duty. They are completely hamburger, and veggie-burger resistant. Also, we fought hard and defeated management’s demand that teachers spend three periods a day in the lunchroom. No teacher will perform more than two lunchroom assignments per day, and only one of these assignments can involve cooking, cleaning, or operating the cash register.
Predictably, there’s been a lot of flack about half-day Saturdays, but we just had to give something back or we wouldn’t have been able to come up with this monumental new contract. We are pioneers—the first teachers in the country to work a five and a half day week. It is most certainly not a six day week, as those naysayers and rabble-rousers from ICE have been saying. Remember, they’re the same ones who complained that the 37.5 minute “small group instruction” was a sixth class. Note that in August, we have maintained the five day week. That took some tough negotiation on my part, but we absolutely refused to let teachers work on Saturdays in August.
Let’s talk about what we fought back in this contract. For one thing, there will be absolutely no school on Sundays. No teacher will have more than 40 students in a class, despite the mayor’s demands to the contrary. And despite the new provisions allowing principals to summarily fire anyone for any reason whatsoever, which were the best we could do, we have retained tenure! In all my 37 years of tough negotiations, this was the toughest! It was tough, I tell you. How tough was it?
It was so tough, we had to negotiate a new Tier 6, but all teachers will be able to retire with 60 years of service, regardless of how old they may have been when they started. For example, an 80 year old teacher who began at the age of 20 can now retire with no penalty. A 120 year old teacher who began at age 39, depending on when his or her birthday was, will now be able to….
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Unity Spin Guy Visits My School
They are desperate to pass this contract, and Unity is dispatching its paid employees to make sure they get their raise. And why shouldn't they? They won't be working lunchroom duty, or losing any options.
He came in and sat down at our lunch table. He told us about all the things the contract didn't give up, and how we got the best possible deal. I asked him about the correction officers, who got 10.25% over two years, with 12-15K in back pay (more than double what we get over four years), and he started talking about sanitation workers.
"Excuse me, I thought I asked about the corrections officers."
"Do you let students interrupt you in your classroom?"
"We are not in a classroom and I am not your student. Also, my writing students know the difference between argument and obfuscation."
I asked him about the sixth class. He insisted the 37.5 minute "small group instruction" was not a sixth class, despite some very compelling evidence to the contrary. At this point, several generally well-behaved English teachers began making obscene gestures behind his back. I was surprised.
He spoke proudly of the UFT's changes in the Taylor Law. A social studies teacher asked what changes he was talking about. The spin guy started telling about monetary penalties for employers who fail to bargain in good faith. The social studies teacher repeatedly asked him if that was now law, and Mr. Unity finally admitted "Well, Pataki hasn't signed it yet." He told the teacher not to worry, because we'd regain all our losses in the next contract.
A young teacher approached him and started talking about the pros and cons of the contract. After they spoke for a few minutes, he told the spin guy that he was going to seek work in Nassau, where he could make a lot more money without teaching six classes or becoming a "lead teacher."
I saw no love for this contract today, and I saw no one persuaded to change their vote either. Our chapter voted "no confidence" in the current UFT leadership to negotiate a fair contract last week, and no matter how they spin it, this contract is an improvement for no one but Unity spin guys and folks who plan to retire very soon.
Read here about when Unity Spin Guys visited reality-based educator.
He came in and sat down at our lunch table. He told us about all the things the contract didn't give up, and how we got the best possible deal. I asked him about the correction officers, who got 10.25% over two years, with 12-15K in back pay (more than double what we get over four years), and he started talking about sanitation workers.
"Excuse me, I thought I asked about the corrections officers."
"Do you let students interrupt you in your classroom?"
"We are not in a classroom and I am not your student. Also, my writing students know the difference between argument and obfuscation."
I asked him about the sixth class. He insisted the 37.5 minute "small group instruction" was not a sixth class, despite some very compelling evidence to the contrary. At this point, several generally well-behaved English teachers began making obscene gestures behind his back. I was surprised.
He spoke proudly of the UFT's changes in the Taylor Law. A social studies teacher asked what changes he was talking about. The spin guy started telling about monetary penalties for employers who fail to bargain in good faith. The social studies teacher repeatedly asked him if that was now law, and Mr. Unity finally admitted "Well, Pataki hasn't signed it yet." He told the teacher not to worry, because we'd regain all our losses in the next contract.
A young teacher approached him and started talking about the pros and cons of the contract. After they spoke for a few minutes, he told the spin guy that he was going to seek work in Nassau, where he could make a lot more money without teaching six classes or becoming a "lead teacher."
I saw no love for this contract today, and I saw no one persuaded to change their vote either. Our chapter voted "no confidence" in the current UFT leadership to negotiate a fair contract last week, and no matter how they spin it, this contract is an improvement for no one but Unity spin guys and folks who plan to retire very soon.
Read here about when Unity Spin Guys visited reality-based educator.
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