Showing posts with label odd stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label odd stuff. Show all posts

Monday, January 08, 2007

Mr. Peabody Redux


There are curiouser and even curiouser accomplishments, which you can examine right here in "The World of Student Bloopers." I learned many things from it:

Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "a horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.


The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. He reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.


The First World War, cause by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history


Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.


Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Next to Godliness


But Norys Perez, who walked into an attendance office at the High School for International Business and Finance in Washington Heights at an inopportune moment, may not see it that way. Ms. Perez claims to have seen a female assistant principal standing by while a male aide "washed his private part."

Ms. Perez was told by her supervisors to report the incident, and two weeks later found herself banned from the school. Now, though she's found employment elsewhere, she wants her job back.


Why that is I have no idea .

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Watch Where You Point that Thing


It's very tough to be a gym teacher, particularly in Brazil. Nearby military police are suing the local gym teacher, because his students keep landing soccer balls around their base.

It appears to be a crime to be a bad football player in Brazil. I'm glad I don't live there (though when it gets a little colder, I may reconsider).

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Tough Talk

Jon Swift says it's time to stop fooling around. Tell the Prez not to pardon the Thanksgiving turkey this year, but execute him immediately.

That'll show those terrorists we mean business.