Punchy Mike's Plan

Hi it's me, your old pal "Punchy" Mike Mulgrew! I'm here to let you all know about my new plans to help out the UFT after we lose Friedrichs! Actually I can't tell you what the plans are because they're secret, but trust me, we are very smart, and very strategic. We have calculated what we have to do, crossed every t, dotted every i, and as soon as we're good and ready we'll let you know.

But there are some things I can tell you right now. At a time like this, we have to stick together. Now sure I said that when Bloomberg was mayor. And sure I said that when Cuomo came out with all those bad plans. But now I really mean it. Now don't go listening to those subversive bastards who say we didn't oppose Cuomo in the primary. That was strategy. Do you know what strategy is? No? Good, because I'm not gonna tell you. It's a secret. And also, don't listen to those dirty bastards who say we didn't oppose him in the other primary, or in the general. Yup, you guessed it. Strategy.

Anyhoo, the whole sticking together thing, let me watch how I say this because my priest just gave me a haircut, and he doesn't like my filthy vulgar disgusting language, so I'm gonna try to be nice here, but let me tell you, James Eterno? A rat bastard. Norm Scott? Another rat bastard. Jia Lee? Don't  even get me started. I actually talked to her, you know, walked around ant talked to her. I even nodded my head and acted like I knew what the hell she was talking about with her blah blah blah about opt-out or whatever. Do you think I do that for just anyone? How's she gonna do me like this? Mike Schirtzer? Another rat bastard. Who the hell does he think he is, coming into my DA and being taller than me? I should've beat the crap right out of him the first moment I laid eyes on him, but, you know, the new me, not using bad language and beating the crap out of everyone (Note to whoever writes the stuff I read out loud--possible campaign slogan there).

And those bloggers, the ones I never read? There's a special place in hell for those scumwads. Let me put it delicately--they traffic in myth. You see how I did that? A few years ago I might have called them filthy stinking lying rat bastards, because that's what they are, but I've been practicing subtlety. You know, diplomacy and stuff. So whatever crap they write, whenever I hear it, I just spit on the ground and think about PUNCHING THEIR FACES AND PUSHING THEM INTO THE DIRT, because that's what we did in my neighborhood when I grew up. I resist the urge and eat a Chunky instead. Because that's the kind of guy I turned out to be.

So anyhoo, here's the thing. While we're facing Friedrichs, which is not at all our fault, you need to remember that all our opponents have to offer is platitudes, and we have solid advice. Stay the course. Don't change horses midstream. Keep going. Persist. Leave no stone unturned. Keep driving. See it through. Hang tough. Leave no stone unturned. A penny saved is a penny earned and a stitch in time saves nine. Nuf said?

In the old days I might have physically threatened you to do what I want, but these days I prefer to just give you a gentle nudge, or a free trip, or a patronage job. Not sure how we're gonna pay for them post-Friedrichs, so listen. Vote for Unity and pay dues. Don't listen to those naysayers when they talk about loyalty oaths. What the hell have they done for you lately anyway? Don't we vote their asses down every time they bring anything up at the DA?

So you vote for us. You can rely on us to keep doing whatever the hell we've been doing for the last decade. Ask yourself, are you better off now? If you are, vote for us. If you aren't, don't vote at all. What the hell, your vote makes no difference anyway and a whole lot of you are too young to ever have used a mailbox. Why bother? The retirees are gonna drown you out anyway. (Note to self--host breakfast in Florida office.)

So remember, vote for us, not the rat bastards, God bless America, God bless the United Federation of Teachers, and a Thousand Points of Light.

RIP Edwize

I tried to visit the UFT blog, Edwize, this morning, and was redirected to UFT.org. Evidently UFT has thrown in the towel on the whole blogging thing.

Here's this blog's first commentary on Edwize from August 20th, 2005.

Thanks to School of Blog for the heads-up. This could be a good place to turn for contract updates, or perhaps debunking of anti-union, anti-teacher nonsense propogated by the News, the Post, and yes, the Times.

You'll find it at EdWize. Or use the handy link in the blogroll on your right hand side.

In fact I was contemplating writing for Edwize and dumping this blog, as I'd previously written repeatedly for NY Teacher. But alas, that was not to be. I read the details of the 2005 contract and very quickly made the acquaintance of folks like Norm Scott and James Eterno.  I shared their horror at its details and Edwize was no longer interested in the likes of me.


Here's an NYC Educator post from February 17th, 2006, post-awakening.  It's called Unitythink:



I received the following anonymous comment from a Unity loyalist. Unfortunately for them, the topics here are not controlled by the autocratic Unity-UFT management. Nonetheless, it's interesting to see why they're unable to respond substantively on Edwize.

You are a bitter old curmudgeon that has nothing better to do than complain.

While name-calling may pass for argument on junior-high playgrounds, it's hardly a substitute for reasonable discourse.

We do live in a democracy. But that doesn't give you the right to yell fire in a movie theater just because you don’t like the movie.

This, apparently, is Unity's most powerful argument. I know this because I've seen it used repeatedly on Edwize. While they imply criticizing Unity is the same as yelling fire in a movie theater, this point boils down to "Shut up."

I will not.

Nor does it give you the right to defecate relentlessly, anytime or any place you feel like it, at least not without consequences.

That's interesting. Our commenter, no longer content with mere invective, has chosen to emphasize the point (shut up) by resorting to the scatological. While some may consider this juvenile approach colorful, it's hardly a substitute for argument.

What you advocate is not democracy, but anarchy.

It's interesting that Unity supporters, who've changed the UFT constitution specifically to preclude democratic election (so the high school teachers couldn't select a non-Unity VP) regard calls to elect new leadership "anarchy." This, again, is baseless name-calling.

Democracies have rule of law and order.

They do indeed. Too bad Unity won't allow high school teachers the right to choose their own leadership. Too bad Randi won't allow the CCs to select UFT workers anymore. It speaks volumes of Unity's interpretation of democracy.

And most importantly, a sense of decorum.

That's code, again, for "Shut up."

I think your biggest problem is that you aren’t on meds, and you need to be, desperately.

The highly prized "sense of decorum," seems to apply only to others, not this commenter. If that's the best retort they can dream up, it's no wonder the censors at Edwize need to work overtime.

You shouldn't be teaching children in that condition.

The commenter suggests criticizing Unity is tantamount to insanity. What on earth could this person be thinking?

Why, oh why would anyone criticize my cozy little double-pension patronage mill? They should enjoy working more hours for, effectively, less pay.

More interesting still is the commenter's implicit assumption that I treat my young students in the same manner as corrupt, ineffectual, self-serving adults.

One can only hope this poster does not treat kids with the same "decorum" shown here.