Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Another Day, Another Corrupt Administrator

Michael Blomberg made it a point to close schools that got low test scores, and that specter haunts our schools even today. Though Mayor de Blasio made it a point to do things a little differently, he still closes schools, including Jamaica High School. Though that was closed on false pretenses, neither he nor Carmen "It's a beautiful day" FariƱa could be bothered checking on them.

Though it was a new day, there was a lot left over from the old one. De Blasio doesn't close schools quite as quickly as Bloomberg did, but he closes them nonetheless. Now they are renewal schools, which means they suck. However, sometimes they are dropped from the list. A friend from a school that was dropped told me, "It's very gratifying to know that we suck less."

Of course, if you're a principal, and people say you don't, in fact, suck less, that can be a problem. I mean, it doesn't threaten your job or anything, since you can cost the city hundreds of thousands in fines for, oh, sexual harassment or malfeasance, and the worst that happens is you're assigned to watch paint dry at Tweed for full salary. Still, it doesn't look good, and if you're intent on being superintendent, chancellor, supreme leader for life or what have you, it's important to take precautionary measures.

Over at Dewitt Clinton, they have a system. If you fail, they give you a packet. What's in the packet? Who knows? A question? A test? A ping pong paddle with a rubber band and ball? Whatever it is, you take it home, you get your smart girlfriend to do the work, you copy the answers off of the internet, or maybe you draw a horsie, and there you go. You passed.

It doesn't matter if you haven't shown up to class all year. Showing up to class is for losers. What a bunch of idiots, showing up every day, doing homework, taking tests, answering questions, and showing respect to their teachers and classmates. Everyone knows that's a waste of time. You can stay home, watch TV, take drugs, have sex, and do whatever. It doesn't matter. When time's up, all you have to do is open the packet, do something or other, return it, and there you go. 65. Who needs more than that? Well, maybe there are standards:

One student who has returned the packet “did not demonstrate mastery” — and will fail, the teacher said.

Oopzie. I guess it isn't smart to do the work yourself. Maybe slip twenty bucks to one of those losers who showed up every day. Heck, if you really want to pass, make it twenty five. Thank goodness you don't have to pay off the teachers. I have a friend who has a student who didn't show up all year. One day in June the kid dropped an envelope containing $265 in cash. Though my friend returned the envelope the following day and failed the kid, we now know the going rate to bribe teachers is 265 bucks. Students can be bought off more economically, and with inflation and everything, DeWitt Clinton is the economical choice.

Of course it's somewhat predictable that things like these happen. In a high pressure system in which test scores determine whether you live or die, Campbell's Law predicts that the more pressure you apply, the more corruption there will be. Thus you see principals changing grades all over the place. At least this guy handed out the packets and pretended to make the students work for the grades.

It's too bad we can't simply allow students to pass or fail on merit. Evidently, when students fail in NYC, it isn't their fault. It's the school's fault. It's the teacher's fault. It's the fault of the ATR. It's the union's fault. It's my fault.

The only thing you can be absolutely sure of is it's not the principal's fault. We know this because no matter what principals do, the very worst thing that can happen to them is they get sent back to Tweed  to sit around in some office somewhere at full salary. Assistant principals may be at fault, because I have seen occasions where they are punished severely. I mean, it depends what they do. I know one AP who got caught having sex with a principal on her desk. I think he got transferred to some other school or something.

In extreme cases, though, APs are given the ultimate punishment. They are bumped down to teacher. What a terrible fate. How demoralizing, to have to do actual work after having been in a position of authority. That's why it's always best to hold off on being thoroughly corrupt until you become principal. Then you can do any damn thing you want and no one can touch you, even if they write about you in the New York Post.
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