Monday, May 30, 2016

Boy Wonder Grapples with an Issue

Oh man what a day! Why does this stuff always happen to me? Let me start from the beginning. Today, 5th period, I'm observing old Mrs. Weiner, and I'm drifting off. Everything was peaceful, and I'm doodling a pic of Wendy's ghost pepper chicken sandwich on my low inference notes. And they have ghost pepper fries too! I could go for some of them right now.

Anyway, old Wiener is droning on about some book or something, or whatever, and I'm trying to figure how to get out and back with enough time to hit Wendy's, and all of a sudden Weiner starts shaking and stuff. I mean wow, it was weird. And then the kids are all, "Mr., call 911," and "Mr., do something!" And I'm here, taking notes and Jesus I've still got 15 observations to do and just a week to do them.

Anyway, one of the kids pulls out a cell and calls 911 and they take old Wiener to the hospital. I confiscated the phone and reported the student, of course. And the AP Security is all, "No, you can't suspend the kid for that." And I noted in my low inference notes that students were using cell phones right there in the classroom. Ineffective. No one was on task and Old Wiener is just doing nothing about it. Ineffective.

Anyway, it turns out Old Wiener had a stroke right there in the classroom. Who knew? Never saw anything like that before. So anyway, Chapter Leader is all, "You can't use that observation," and I'm all, "Hey, there's nothing that says I can't." If I didn't use it, he'd be the first one to be all over my ass about rating someone ineffective with only three observations.

After all, once they carted off Old Wiener I didn't hear any, you know, higher order questions, and I sat there until the bell rang. The kids were completely off task. Was there learning going on? I mean, the kids were panicked and running all over the place and there was really no classroom control at all. Plus none of the kids were doing the reading. How am I supposed to rate that anything but ineffective?

I mean, you don't see me having a stroke in the middle of the class or anything, not that I actually teach one. But if I did I would make it my business not to go having a stroke in front of my supervisor. I mean, who wants to actually watch stuff like that? And to do it in front of the kids? That shows absolutely no consideration. Ineffective again.

And Chapter Leader is all blah, blah, blah, about this. Jeez, why doesn't he go bother someone else?  I don't see him bothering anyone except me. It's harassment is what it is. You know what's wrong with old people? Well, aside from the obvious. They are always complaining. Oh, this hurts, and oh that hurts, and I'm so tired. Well guess what? I'm tired too. I'm tired of listening to all your crap. How about leaving me alone and letting me do my job? Isn't that what I'm here for?

Maybe I don't have to bother trying to become a principal. When the superintendent sees how many high-salaried teachers I'm getting rid of, through retirement, 3020a, or whatever, maybe he'll see I have a place in Upper Management. I hear they go out to lunch in fancy restaurants every day, and that they even have expense accounts. Man, imagine wearing a nice suit every day and going someplace with white tablecloths.

That would be a real draw. If I can get my high school girlfriend a teaching gig after I get rid of Old Weiner, I'll bet she'd be really impressed if she saw me move up into the supe's office. Maybe I can get her to come out to lunch with me. Maybe she can be my assistant.

Good times, and they're only getting better. 
blog comments powered by Disqus