Thursday, October 03, 2013

I Want to be a Dean

That's the rallying cry I'm hearing from teachers everywhere. Deans in my school teach three periods and dean a bunch of others. Reformy John King and the other geniuses who designed the junk science to fire teachers program have decreed that teachers must teach 60% of the day to qualify for it. Therefore, if you teach three or fewer periods, you are exempt.

As it happens, I'm chapter leader at my school, which means I teach four periods and will go down with the ship. Last year I had a comp-time position two other periods a day, but quit because I wanted to go back to the classroom. While I hate the evaluation system and have no idea what it will mean for me, I don't regret my decision. However Charlotte Danielson or her DOE checklist may judge me, teaching ESL is what I do best.

In any case, yesterday all the deans were drinking champagne and dancing on the streets. None of them will be fired for junk science, at least until two years after their terms expire. Though I'm happy for them, at a meeting yesterday I called them a bunch of bastards, you know, in a friendly tone--I meant it in a good way. There were four of them, and they threatened to beat me up. But I'm not worried, because I can run faster than them.

Other teachers wondered why they hadn't applied to be deans. Why did they reject me last June? Is there still time to file a grievance? Why do those deans get all the easy classes? Since they're not being judged by junk science, shouldn't they get all the high-stakes classes? After all, it doesn't make a damn bit of difference what scores their kids get.

And these are the conversations you have when you impose a nonsensical system on teachers, and then say some teachers don't have to suffer through it. I fully expect steel cage matches to determine who gets future dean positions. Whoever manages to crawl out alive will get the privilege of walking the halls with a radio. And whoever lies dead in the cage won't be subject to the junk science evaluation system.

It's a win-win.
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