Thursday, December 13, 2012

Teacher Tips for the Impending Apocolypse

As I'm certain you all know, the world is due to end a week from tomorrow. Not only that, but if the UFT does not agree to an evaluation that AFT President Randi Weingarten just labeled "junk science," Mayor Bloomberg will impose draconian cuts on the school system, just because he can. After all, mayoral control means he can do what he wants, when he wants, how he wants, and if you don't like it, you can just take a hike, pal.

Me, I'm giving a test on Friday. This makes perfect sense to me. I mean, why waste our last day on earth teaching things that, let's be realistic now, will only be of use for less than 24 hours? Better to take a good measure of what we've done so far. Now here's the beauty part. Everyone knows how traumatic it is to fail a test. But no one will fail this test, because guess what? I'm not spending my last hours on earth grading tests.

Plus, Friday is my department's test day. I'm a team player, and I want to make sure my kids are not burdened by too many tests, what with the world ending and all. So, yes, if it's at all feasible, I advise you to give a test.

Also, I'd say it's probably not the ideal day to eat at the school cafeteria, You don't want to go out eating a DOE fish stick. I'd say it's time to make the trip to that pizzeria, or even that questionable discount sushi place you've been afraid to try. After all, there's not nearly as much risk eating there Friday as there would have been previously.

Most importantly, try to be nice to everyone just in case the whole apocolypse thing doesn't work out.

And if that proves to be the case, do the same on Monday. Just for the heck of it.
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