Friday, August 03, 2007

Mr. Bloomberg Declares Randall's Island Free for All

In another magnanimous gesture, city officials announced that Randall's Field would soon be open to all students, private and public alike. Sure the city leased the fields to private schools from 3 to 6 on weekdays, but the bootless and unhorsed are still free to run their dirty little legs around after that.

And to show what great guys they are, Mayor Mike and Uncle Joel didn't even charge the private schools interest (Ask your bank for a deal like that).

Sure, this arrangement precludes the possibility of most sports teams from public schools using the fields after school. But team sports are overrated, as the value of teamwork will probably not improve test scores. Ask yourselves honestly--could public team sports really improve the images of Mike Bloomberg and Joel Klein?

Fortunately, due to chronic neglect and massive overcrowding, some city schools don't even close till almost 6 PM. Everyone knows public school kids never do homework anyway, so why not just send 'em then?

In any case, the little urchins have the fields pretty much to themselves as soon as the Dalton kids have had the run of the place, so what's the problem? Let them stay there until 3 AM if they like. Let them sleep there. Let their families join them. Everyone knows how expensive rent is here in the Big Apple.

But they better get their asses out of there before the Dalton kids get back, if they know what's good for them.
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