Monday, January 01, 2007

New Year's Resolutions

First, a joyous 2007 to all.

I wish you a year filled with health and prosperity.

If you're a New York City teacher, you just got $750, and remember a good portion of that will go to the federal government. These funds go directly toward fighting communism, and no one likes communism (except perhaps California Teacher Guy, who suspiciously says "full stop" instead of "period").

If you aren't a New York City teacher, I hope you already have $750. Consider, though, you may not need it as badly if you don't live here, where a one-room shack goes for half-a-million bucks (assuming you can locate one).

Let's hope that our new governor, Eliot Spitzer, sees fit to sign that 25/55 legislation we've heard so much about. That way, we can all retire and spend time in taverns, which are much in need of our dollars during these troubled times. The tavern is an American institution, and it behooves us all to support it.

Most importantly, I beseech all of you to drink American this year. Regardless of what sort of swill Budweiser may produce, it's still our company. And if that's not your cup of tea (and don't drink tea, that's not American at all), there's Miller, Pabst, Schlitz, Piels, and a host of others. If you insist on that imported commie beer, go with Lowenbrau's (which I understand is actually made here).

Remember, here at NYC Educator, we don't care what kind of beer you drink. As long as it's American, you're A-OK in our book.
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