Thursday, April 20, 2006

Unity on Your Side

Perhaps you've heard that there is housing assistance available for all UFT members. That's not precisely true, according to the Unity website. Here's what they have for the rest of us:

At the UFT’s urging, the Department of Education also agreed to offer new affordable housing opportunities to all income-eligible UFT members (including those not employed by the DOE).

Good. I was really worried about those nurses. They've already missed out on that great contract Unity got us.

The DOE, in partnership with the city Department of Housing Preservation and Development, will offer homeownership counseling and down payment assistance to UFT members whose family income is $56,720 a year or less.

Let me counsel you on your homeownership prospects in New York City if your income is $56,720 or less:

Check out the worst houses in the worst parts of town, and be thankful you can't afford them. Look into fixer-upper one bedroom co-ops in questionable neighborhoods, and hope for the best. Then, rent an apartment somewhere. Or move in with your parents.

A separate program of special preference in lotteries for city-financed affordable rental and homeownership units is open to middle-income UFT members who meet income criteria determined by a sliding scale based on family size and demographics.

When is the last time you've won a lottery? Special ed. teacher Miss Dennis at Your Mama's Mad Tedious has a unique solution to this problem--she's gonna quit, and come back in two years when she's eligible for the big bucks. Let's continue with the exciting benefits you might get if you win the lottery:

For example, to qualify, a married couple with two kids could have a household income of up to $175,000 while a single person could earn up to $90,000. The housing programs build on a city initiative created last year by the mayor for municipal workers represented by District Council 37.

Was that DC37 you said? Aren't they the ones who agreed to a three year contract for 5%, with one point in givebacks? Didn't they set the pattern for the rest of us? Could it be Mayor Bloomberg was paying them back for stabbing the rest of us municipal workers in the back?

Anyway, good luck in the lottery.

If you don't find that entirely satisfactory, here's another option:

If you can afford heels, click them together 3 times, and say:

There's no party like Unity...
There's no party like Unity...
There's no party like Unity...
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