Tuesday, March 14, 2006

NCLB, Presidential Style

The trouble with us teachers is we're altogether too timid and traditional. When the call comes to improve test scores, we run around like headless chickens, drilling, reading, practicing...it never ends. As GW said in his first debate with John Kerry, it's hard work.

So let's stop working hard, and start working smart. When GW gives a speech, do you think any Larry, Moe, or Curly simply walks off the street to listen? Of course not! Yesterday, at George Washington University, President Bush gave a speech about the great job we're doing in Iraq. Do you think the audience consisted of students? What have you been smoking?

Bush requires his audiences to be pre-selected. During the campaign, people had to promise they'd vote for him before being admitted to his speeches. During the State of the Union, which really isn't even a Bush rally, two women were removed for wearing t-shirts. One was even arrested.

So why on earth are we not doing the same? Let me select which kids to teach, and I will guarantee absolutely brilliant scores on whatever test comes down the pike. Let's demand equal consideration, and equal rights. And let's have the cops drag away any kid who dares to forget the homework.

If the President of the United States does it, it must be OK. Also, this will certainly bring us closer to the President's oft-stated desire to have every kid in our classes pass.

Let's hand-pick the kids we test, and solemnly swear to leave not a single one behind.
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