Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Wabbit Season Has Ended...

So sharpen your pencils, everyone, because it's testing season. If you have kids, lie and say you'll love them no matter how they score. No sense letting them know you're putting them out on the street, because if they do well it may not be necessary after all.

My daughter's in fourth grade and it's very high-stakes in NY. If the administrators are to be believed, her entire future hinges upon her performance this week. Though they told me if she screwed up, she might get another chance in four years to get back on track.

I think that's good for a nine-year-old kid, don't you?

But here's the good news--there are now even more opportunities! Now, in NY State, every year is gonna be a high-stakes test year! Evidently, it's impossible for anyone to learn anything without them. Therefore, every year, teachers will dispense with whatever nonsense used to occupy their time, and get to the serious business of preparing kids for tests. They'll learn all the reading skills, and whatever they happen to be calling them this year.

I love to read. I suspect it's because I've never been taught properly.

Those of us who grew up before the testing craze are beyond redemption. Clearly, we are all a bunch of shameless, ignorant yahoos who should move into trailers and practice sloppy housekeeping. That's all we're fit for.

Because how on earth could any of us know anything without having taken all those tests?
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