Mr. Bloomberg's Neighborhood

There's nothing quite like a good neighborhood school. The kids learn and play, the parents are happy the kids are there, and people all over want to move into that neighborhood. Why not?

Well, in Mayor Mike's New York, once people start moving in, these schools can get very crowded. So even though you've bought into a neighborhood, the value of which has risen due to the school, your kid may not get in.

...when Dr. Hsiung, a dermatologist, tried to register her son for kindergarten last month, she was shocked to hear that because of a surge in applications, he would be placed on a hold list, and could not be guaranteed a seat.

Oh well. Just because you've spent millions for a Manhattan condo, you think you can avail yourselves of the local public schools? Apparently, you don't grasp the concept of "Children First." You see, their children were firster than your children, so your children will just have to wait. Maybe in a few years, more people will move out, and then your children will be first. Then you can call them in their college dorms and let them know they qualify for PS 234.

The problem, apparently, is that Tweed can't figure out where to build schools. That's not their fault, of course. Under "Children First," it's the fault of the children, who invariably fail to notify the Tweedies before moving in. Doubtless, that's why 75% of high schools are overcrowded.

In my school, way, way over capacity, what they do is build walls in the middle of classrooms and declare the school capacity has increased. Or they take a closet, rename it a classroom, and declare it's increased even further.

One great thing is that, no matter how overcrowded it gets, Mr. Bloomberg takes more, more and more kids into this school. Once the kids hit high school, there's no such thing as too many kids. Just let them all in.

Best of all, when we don't build new high schools, we save valuable dollars for truly important projects.

It's Good to Be King

Short of that, it's good to be principal under Mayor Mike and Jolly Joel. There are so many things you can do--condemn veteran teachers to the purgatory of ATR (a joint production of Tweed and the UFT), make pedagogues jump when you say, or, even better, have them tutor your biological offspring as part of their daily routine. After all, you can only stretch 130K a year so far.

This is really cost-effective because when you live in Rockland County, as this principal does, tutoring fees can really get up there. So what, you ask, is the penalty for blatant personal corruption and getting city employees to neglect their work and do your personal bidding? Well, in Mayor Bloomberg's New York, it's only three thousand bucks. Can you beat that?

It's even more of a bargain when you consider that teachers fester in the rubber rooms for offenses as trivial as using DoE fax machines. Thanks to the 2005 contract, teachers can be not only sent to the rubber rooms, but suspended without pay or health insurance based on unsubstantiated accusations. But if you're principal, you can have a dozen corporal punishment complaints against you and just keep on doing that thing you do.

Apparently, though, teacher complaints are not taken as seriously as children's complaints here in Mr. Bloomberg's New York. Judge Judy says, "You know how you tell teenagers are lying? Their lips are moving." Mayor Bloomberg, however, assumes they speak absolute truth without exception, and will suspend teachers without pay on their say-so. The UFT, which signed off on the contract that permits it, seems to agree. In the US of A, you're innocent until proven guilty.

Unless you're a New York City teacher.

On the other hand, if you're a New York City principal, even being guilty means nothing more than a fine.

Thanks to Schoolgal

The UFT Responds

Over at Edwize, UFT President Randi Weingarten's internet mouthpiece is shocked, SHOCKED!, at the entirely predictable PR storm the Tweedies have kicked up over the Absent Teacher Reserves, or ATRs. It's true, of course, that the Tweedies are getting a lot of mileage complaining about these teachers. Also, most of the claims in the article appear entirely verifiable.

However, the biggest difference between Mr. Klein and Ms. Weingarten is that Mr. Klein has a long-term vision of what he wants to do with the city school system. Obfuscate and delay on class size, decent facilities, and overcrowding, but full speed ahead with charter schools (With 75% of high schools overcrowded, there's always room for charter schools), privatization, no-bid contracts, and illegal anti-labor antics in the name of saving children. Who cares if we signed a contract? Who cares if we wrote the clause we're now protesting? We're SAVING THE CHILDREN, FOR GOD'S SAKE!

In any case, the United Federation of Teachers, after having endorsed mayoral control, agreed to a 3rd reorganization in which principals have to count teacher salaries as part of building budgets. And they are stunned, apparently, when principals overwhelmingly choose new teachers for less than half the price. The only surprise I see here is that they fail to recognize their own monumental lack of foresight.

The article is interesting in that it offers a laundry list of all the things Tweed won't do. They won't talk to us. They won't negotiate with us. They won't do this, they won't do that.

Well, of course they won't. But the UFT happens to be a signatory to the very document that displaced all these people. The writer protests:

When the Department of Education entered into the staffing choice system in the 2005 contract — which gave teachers the power to choose their school and school principals the power to choose their teachers — the UFT negotiation team clearly stated that such a system would result in a pool of unassigned teachers. The DoE agreed this would happen, but said it was prepared to bear that price.

That sounds like a pretty rough situation. It clearly indicates, though, that the UFT had no problem accepting a pool of unassigned teachers. This is something the very same writer chose to conspicuously ignore when writing in praise of the "Open Market System" that's left so many senior teachers out in the cold.

This situation, again, was entirely predictable. The DoE's unwillingness to negotiate is nothing new. The UFT aristocracy's policy of giving away the sun and the moon, then feigning shock when the city asks for the stars, is simply preposterous. Its response to Tweed's well-oiled PR machine (and why on earth haven't we got one?), despite having pimped the 2005 contract like the best thing since sliced bread, is typically ineffectual.

The most frightening thing about the clueless UFT leadership, though, is its chronic inability to see fault in itself. It staunchly refuses to learn anything, an odd position for a union of teachers.

Indeed, after months of proclaiming that they were concerned with attracting experienced, accomplished teachers to schools in poor communities with the greatest educational challenges, the DoE is now pursuing a policy which would ensure precisely the opposite.

Of course, if you had not agreed to mayoral control, this might not be the case. Perhaps if you had not agreed to support a reorganization that made principals consider salary, that might not be the case. And certainly, if we had not given away every single professional improvement we'd gained with zero percent salary increases (each one fully supported by the UFT leadership), that would not be the case.

What experienced teacher would take the risk of going to a school which might well be closed down, knowing that if they were unable to find another assignment the DoE would have the power to fire them.

And why would they need to worry about it if the UFT had not dumped the UFT transfer plan? Why would they need to worry about it if the UFT had not scuttled seniority privileges for less than cost of living?

It all comes down to the vision thing. Bloomberg has it.

Ms. Weingarten and her merry band of patronage employees do not.

Thanks to Schoolgal

If Mayor Mike Sez Your School Is PCB Free, It Is.

Only it isn't.

More Great Work from the Tweedies

Well, they've closed your neighborhood high school, and most others as well. So now you can go to any school you want. Of course, if you don't get in, you don't get in.

Who Knows What Evil Lurks in the Hearts of Men?

Well, not just Lamont Cranston. Every ATR teacher knows what the Chancellor wants them to do (jump off a cliff), and the DoE is making noise about them yet again. If the Tweedies are to be believed, it's cost 81 million bucks to prop up their substitute teacher brigade. Now this was entirely predictable, and I've no doubt whatsoever that many (myself included) predicted it repeatedly.

Mr. Klein instituted this system along with UFT President Randi Weingarten, and made the additional decision to hire new teachers before he placed the displaced. To further ensure experienced teachers would never find employment, he instituted yet another reorganization in which he required principals to take salaries out of their budgets.

Now, of course, both Mr. Klein and Ms. Weingarten are shocked, SHOCKED!, to discover that principals choose to hire 45K newbies rather than 100K vets. Naturally, Mr. Klein wishes to renounce the contract he wrote and signed. After all, this is an emergency!

"We've got some teachers on our hands that are costing our city a lot of money [while not teaching]," Daly said. "This is not a sustainable system. ... It has to change."

Well, then, Mr. Daly, I've got a simple solution--why the hell don't you put these teachers to work? Why don't you reduce class sizes? Why don't you devote every single teacher to the task of teaching the children you very publicly claim to put first?

I'll tell you why--you'd lose a valuable scapegoat, and would have fewer targets at which to point your various fingers. You couldn't risk that, as "accountability" must be restricted to unionized workers, and must never, ever approach Tweed.

While we're on the subject of hypocrisy, note that the Tweedies, who purport to worry about fairness, adhere very strictly to the letter of agreements that lose money for others, like bus companies. They're feeling the pinch of huge rises in gas prices, and want to cut down on field trips. Oh, no, they say. Since they make no dent in our budget, why worry about yours?

Instead, the "Children First" crowd are cutting down the costs of school lunches, making them even worse, if such a thing is humanly possible.

I shudder to imagine the possibilities.

Thanks to Schoolgal

If You Can't Beat 'em, Buy 'em

Or "When in doubt, buy it out."

Those are a few of the homilies that grace the Bloomberg breakfast table, and Mayor Mike likes to practice what he preaches, sometimes. That's why he's contemplating the purchase of The New York Times. After all, weren't they the ones who printed the story suggesting Bloomberg didn't fare well with test scores he couldn't manipulate? Aren't they the ones who had the originally had the temerity to print Mike Winerip's column suggesting good teachers plus small schools equals quality education?

Not only that, but there's that awful Sam Freeman who actually writes about the rampant overcrowding in high schools. If enough people find out how much of that is really going on, they may begin to doubt the well-circulated Bloomberg myth about "Children First."

Of course, if Michael Bloomberg buys the paper, the likelihood of finding stories like that will decrease substantially. And with Murdoch owning the Post and trying to buy Newsday, the likelihood of New Yorkers encountering writers like Winerip and Freeman may substantially decrease as well.

Freedom of the Press (and Zit Cream)

Personally, I'm all for it. In fact, I often wish reporters would wake up and take advantage of it.

For example, if you were visiting from another planet, and watched recent Democratic debates, you'd think that the biggest issue facing the voters was flag lapel pins. You'd think, like Charlie Gibson apparently does, that a typical middle class income was 200 thousand dollars a year. And of course, since inflation is apparently not an issue in this country (nor is health care, the mortgage crisis, the war in Iraq, or disappearing jobs), Charlie, out of touch as he is, may soon be right.

Closer to home, we see our local press napping rather than thinking. The coverage of the city's bombastic claims about tenure is a good example. Let's give an entirely hypothetical scenario and say we have three dermatological patients--Nassau, Suffolk, and Joel. Each of them suffers from zits. The dermatologist prescribes a zit cream that costs a hundred bucks. Nassau and Suffolk use the cream and the zits clear up. Joel says the price is too high and refuses to buy it. Six years later, his zit is bigger than his head.

Joel then calls a news conference to declare the zit cream, the one he's never used, is totally inadequate. The press prominently covers the news conference, and rails against the zit cream. Joel then demands untested surgery for any future zits he may get, and the local op-ed pages applaud him. They deplore the hypothetical governor, whom we'll call David Paterson, for opposing the untested surgery. And no one asks or wonders why Joel didn't or shouldn't try the zit cream.

Let's get out of our entirely hypothetical scenario, and take another look at a more recent event, to wit, the hugely hyped opening of Eva Moskowitz' new school. From what I can glean, 3,600 kids applied for 600 openings. It was a huge event, attended by Joel Klein and Governor David Paterson. The press, of course was there, and pronounced in articles and op-eds how wonderful and marvelous it was.

Now let's say, for the sake of argument, their apparent assumptions are correct--that the schools in Harlem are so awful that children need desperately to escape. Let's say that Ms. Moskowitz' school, which hasn't even opened yet, is a fantastic alternative.

This would clearly suggest that Chancellor Klein has failed over 80% of the applicants to the Moskowitz Academy. It also means he's failed all the other residents of the community, the ones who didn't apply. It also begs this question--what on earth has he done to fix those apparently awful schools he's stuck these folks with? Aside from cutting their budgets, it's tough to say.

And maybe NYC parents need consistently good schools, rather than a highly-rated PR game show in which the odds are strongly stacked against them.

Why do none of these things cross the minds of our crack press corps? Maybe it's too much Sominex.

Some People Look For the Quickest Way Out

Some don't read between the lines. Others just read very selectively.

I specifically told Kevin Carey of The Quick and the Ed that the city has been negligent in enforcing existing tenure rules for over thirty years, that neighboring districts do things much differently, and that it was entirely within the city's discretion to do as its neighbors. I'm disappointed he chose to ignore that, using my post on bad teachers to bolster the entirely hollow argument that Chancellor Klein needs more ammunition to enforce tenure.

Chancellor Klein can enforce existing rules today, and could have done so the day he walked in, but opted not to. In fact, despite all his bluster about tenure and quality teachers, Mr. Klein went to Albany where he successfully lobbied for the right to hire and retain thousands of teachers who'd failed a basic competency test, often dozens of times. For Mr. Klein to now try to place the onus on the UFT for the teachers he himself hired and granted tenure is the height of hypocrisy.

If he chooses not to do his job, it's on him. And the truth is both he and his predecessors have neglected it for decades. Shame on the chancellor for obfuscating by demanding new tools while pointedly ignoring those at his disposal. It's disappointing his defenders fail to see the obvious--that this city, its frequent finger-pointing notwithstanding, was and is indifferent to how it treats kids. Rampant and unconscionable overcrowding is just one little extra way Tweed expresses its priorities.

My kids and I work every day half in a vermin-infested closet and the other half in a dilapidated trailer. This would not happen in my home district, and not a single one of the teachers I described would be hired in my home district. Furthermore, where I live, if some blitheringly incompetent administrator were to neglect the Prozac and hire one of these people by mistake, the mistake would be corrected long, long before any discussions about tenure ensued (I'd refrain from placing any bets on that administrator's tenure either).

Those who accept Chancellor Klein's public position on tenure either don't know what goes on in Mr. Bloomberg's New York or don't care to find out.

Runaround Mike

Mayor Bloomberg, in yet another brilliant educational move, has installed trailers in Brooklyn Heights.

"The school has been a victim of its own success," said Councilman David Yassky (D-Brooklyn Heights).

It certainly has, and now Mayor Bloomberg will be able to send scores of kids to this school in perpetuity. When he closes surrounding schools, he can just send more kids to the Heights, and endlessly overcrowd the school just as he's done with 75% of the city's high schools.

Eventually he can run the school to the ground, blame the teachers and close it. Then he can send them to the previously closed but now renamed schools, or "academies," as he likes to call them. The beautiful thing is "accountability" is still laid 100% on those awful unionized employees, and Bloomberg's minions can claim they're "doing something." Never mind if they're not doing anything effective.

When they come to your town, remember this---politicians come and go, but trailers are forever.

Doin' the Bloomberg Shuffle

There you are, teaching some class, when a bunch of highly-efficient suits come in to measure the room. Obviously, it has to be improved before a gaggle of Mr. Bloomberg's incredible small schools takes it over. I mean, who could possibly learn in such a dismal environment? That's why they're going to give Mr. Bloomberg's new small school advantages that you and your lowlife kids couldn't possibly appreciate.

They'll just close your school, send the undesirables to some other overcrowded school, and when that school gets as bad as your school was, they'll close that one too. That way they always appear to be doing something. More importantly, they'll always have so many things in flux that "accountability" will never touch their gilded doorsteps.

At Jamaica High School, teachers have taken matters into their own hands, and have now made Chancellor Klein actually look in the eyes of those who'll be displaced by his next big reshuffle of "accountability." Of course, the chancellor tends to be fumfering around with his Blackberry at times like these, displaying his utter contempt for any dissent whatsoever at these meetings and ignoring any unpleasant realities that intrude upon his "reforms."

I have great respect for James Eterno, the thoughtful and active chapter leader at Jamaica High School. It's admirable that he's taking a stand for working teachers. Unfortunately, Chancellor Klein's puppetmaster has already declared it's "Children First" in NYC. To show how much regard he has for children, he dumps them into trailers, onto toxic waste sites, and into unconscionably overcrowded and decrepit facilities. Furthermore, he's repeatedly announced that the needs of non-billionaire adults come last (which is ironic, since the overwhelming majority of the children he places first will grow up and become non-billionaire adults).

Now if he treats the children he places first in this fashion, I can only imagine how much regard he holds for Mr. Eterno and his colleagues, none of whom (to my knowledge) qualify as billionaires. But I wish the Jamaica teachers all the luck in the world. It's certainly not their fault that the current administration indulges in "reforms" rather than good teachers, reasonable class sizes, and decent facilities for public schools.

And it's just another day in Mr. Bloomberg's New York.

Life in Mr. Bloomberg's Old Schoolhouse

Mayor Bloomberg, as a great advocate for children, promised to rid the city of trailers by 2012. Later, he clarified this statement, explaining that he would not get rid of them by 2012. So what if they're designed to last ten years and have been up over 15? If NYC kids can deal with schools on toxic sites, and poisons in window caulking, a few dilapidated trailers here and there are small potatoes.

Every morning, when I enter my trailer, the first thing I do is go to the adjacent trailer and steal the eraser. And every afternoon, the ratfink teacher in the other trailer steals it back, thus necessitating another trip for me the following morning. Of course I could get another eraser. But if I were to do that, the kid who leaves offensive messages on my board at the end of every day will just steal it, as has happened on several previous occasions. There's no security in the trailers, and kids who use them need to just hope for the best.

Now my trailer is looking particularly bright these days, as one of my fellow trailer trash teachers has decorated it. In fact, the other day some administrators took a rare trip to trailerland, and wanted to know why the heck anyone would bother decorating a trailer. After all, the same energy could be devoted toward decorating the main building, where important muckety-mucks may actually see it.

There's a lot of controversy in one of the other trailers. One teacher has complained that it's filthy and smells kind of funky, and now the administration is investigating to find out precisely who's responsible. Is it the teacher who complained, the teacher the teacher complained about, or is it some other teacher who's neither complained nor been complained about? Or is is some vile substance that's taken root is the trailer? Personally, I have no idea.

On the positive side, in our trailer bathroom the custodians have removed the mold and rust-encrusted soap bars that no one was hardy enough to touch without a ten-foot pole. Rather than filling the soap dispensers that have sat empty for ten years, the custodians simply installed new ones. To ensure that they remain full, the custodians have cleverly stopped providing paper towels. Thus no wasteful hand-washing will occur, and it may never be necessary to refill the soap dispensers.

This frees up valuable funds for sports stadiums, and it's another win-win in Mr. Bloomberg's New York.

Related: Check out this other trailer.

Get Tough! But Pass Everyone

That's how Joanne Jacobs characterized a piece I wrote about the thrust of our faculty meetings, and the line has stuck in my mind somehow. Apparently, though, this line of thought is far from unique to my building. A New York Times story exposes some of Chancellor Klein's favorite methods of juking the stats.

Did you fail your English class? Don't worry. Write a few papers, and it'll be as good as new. Who cares if you slept through the entire semester? Will the AP even notice you've plagiarized the entire paper? Perhaps. Or perhaps not.

I once happened upon a "makeup class" paper from an ESL student of mine that was clearly plagiarized. But Ms. History, the head of the social studies department, had given it an "A." I found the kid in her classroom, pulled her out, and told her privately I knew she didn't write it.

"You're not going to tell Ms. History, are you?" begged the kid.

I told her I wasn't, since she'd already gotten away with it. But I let her know that I would've failed her, and if I could see it, another teacher might see it too. Did Ms. History let her pass knowing she plagiarized, or was she just incapable of differentiating between the work of a professional writer and that of an ESL student? It's a question for the ages, I suppose.

But now that principals are "accountable," they need to get those graduation stats up. And while Mr. Bloomberg can simply ignore dropouts, "accountable" principals don't have that luxury. They have to get those stats up or they're fired. Still, Chancellor Klein says things are just fine:

Schools Chancellor Joel I. Klein, in a statement, called credit recovery “a legitimate and important strategy for working with high school students.” He said there was “no indication” that the practice “has been abused more in recent years.”

“If credit recovery is not conducted properly, just as with any other required course, we will take appropriate action,” he added. “We do students no favors by giving them credit they haven’t earned.”

But city officials acknowledged that credit recovery programs are neither centrally monitored nor tracked.

So as usual, we should simply take the word of the administration. Though they don't actually monitor or track the programs, they will abide no nonsense. Fortunately, if any nonsense occurs, they won't ever find out about it. That way, they don't have to worry about "accountability," which, like taxes, is for the little people.

So kids, don't worry about failing those classes. There appear to be few consequences for cutting the entire semester:

At Franklin K. Lane, a large high school in Brooklyn, an advertisement for credit recovery programs offered last year urged students: “If you failed a class, don’t despair ... turnaround your 55 into a 65 in 6 weeks!!! Ask your teacher for details!!!”

Adam Bergstein, a teacher who is head of the school’s union chapter, said the six-week program, which consisted of six classes, had troubled teachers.

“A 55 could be indicative of anything from a 1 to literally a 55 average,” he said. “It’s not a mere nudge ahead; it could be an astronomical leap.”

“It undermines the whole concept of teaching and grading,” Mr. Bergstein continued.

It does indeed. But if you live and die by statistics, people need to cheat. It's regrettable that people are living and dying by statistics, but it's even more regrettable that Mayor Bloomberg and Chancellor Klein, who advocate credit for the nebulous concept of "seat-time," talk so tough while enabling and even encouraging rampant cheating.

Related: Eduwonkette, Inside Schools, The Chancellor's New Clothes, Joanne Jacobs

Thanks to Rhoda and Schoolgal

Mike and Joel Spin and Lose

Fresh on the heels of his congestion-pricing plan defeat, the State Legislature has handed Mayor Moneybags a rejection of his plan to award tenure based on test scores. The Mayor's educational mouthpiece, Chancellor Joel Klein, had this to say:

"I am dismayed that the state Legislature would even consider tying the hands of principals and school districts as they decide who gets lifetime job security," Klein said.

It's odd that this Chancellor, who regularly U-rates tenured teachers and brings them to 3020 hearings, considers tenure "lifetime job security." It's certainly better than nothing, which is what most working people get in the US of A. Still, even without using test scores, neighboring districts deny tenure as a matter of course. While Mayor Moneybags and his faithful chancellor can harumph and complain, it's certainly not the UFT's fault that this city has chosen to grant tenure to anyone with a pulse, up to and including this administration.

While it's an ingrained habit of Mike "Accountability" Bloomberg to blame working teachers for everything up to and including the weather, it's the job of administration to select and hire teachers. It's their job to determine who does and does not get tenure, and it's hard for anyone to deny they've been remiss for over thirty years.

Bloomberg talks a big game on teacher quality. But with all his talk about "accountability," he ought to step up and take some responsibility. The UFT neither hires teachers nor grants tenure. It's their job to protect those selected by the city.

And it's not our fault if the mayor has failed to do his job.

Thanks to Sol Bellel for the picture

Toxins Can't Hurt NYC Schoolchildren

Well, obviously it makes no difference whether they hurt teachers, as Mayor Mike has repeatedly sworn to put their needs last, so what is the fuss all about? Well, according to the Daily News:

Window sills and door frames in dozens of city public schools contain a toxin that can lower IQ scores, causes asthma and is linked to cancer...

That's not so bad, is it? What do the Tweedie birds have to say about it?

...the Department of Education performed its own air and wipe tests in the affected schools. In all but one test, the PCBs in the caulking had not leaked into the air or surrounding environment.

You see? As long as you don't touch the stuff, it's no problem at all. And it's a well-established fact that kids are never curious about anything, so they never touch things or disturb them in any way, shape, or form.

City Department of Education officials insist the caulking poses no threat as long as it is left alone.

That's good enough for me. They know what's what. And after all, they always put children first. In my 250% capacity school, everyone is very close. As you'd expect, they never bump into each other, and they never accidentally touch or scratch anything.

Experts say PCBs left undisturbed can still leach out of the caulking into surrounding material or become airborne.

But what do they know? What's a little asthma, or a little cancer anyway? Kids who can't afford 20 thousand bucks a year for private school are gonna have to tough it out anyway, so they might as well get started now. After all, it's "Children First" in Mayor Bloomberg's New York, and there are still stadiums to be built.

I'll Get You, My Pretty. And Your Little School, Too

Prominent teacher-basher/ charter school operator Eva Moskowitz wants more space. And whatever Eva wants, Eva gets. But PS 123 wants to keep its building the way it is. Apparently, its students like being in a building that hasn't yet surpassed 100% capacity, and don't fancy sharing the facilities with Eva's new project.

Though parents and community organizers have gotten together to oppose Ms. Eva's new school, she promised to bring hundreds of people to confound the will of the community.

Naturally, with 75% of the city's high schools overcrowded and even more budget cuts looming, Mayor Bloomberg and Chancellor Klein have deemed it a good time to open more charter schools. As they need space, the children in those often horribly overcrowded buildings are the first to get screwed.

And that's what "Children First" means today in Mayor Bloomberg's New York.

Thanks to Schoolgal

Mr. Bloomberg Places Children First

Before we get to that, let's applaud our new governor, who's planning to tax internet sales, regardless of substantial hurdles.

Critics and even some supporters expect legal challenges, citing a 1992 US Supreme Court ruling they say prohibits a state from forcing a company with no physical presence in a state from collecting the state's sales tax.

Thankfully, the governor does not wish to raise taxes on the wealthy. It's a well-established fact that rich people need money more than the rest of us (Otherwise, how would they be rich?), and naturally we're all grateful for a governor who's sensitive to their needs. Instead, he'll tax our Amazon purchases and find new ways to save on unnecessary expenditures:

Meanwhile, Paterson, to help fill a $4.7 billion deficit, is looking to cut the money the state pays toward accidental death benefits for fallen police and firefighters. Families would collect the same amount of money, but the city would be forced to bear more of the burden.

That's not a big problem, as Mayor Bloomberg can simply cut school budgets even further. After all, it's a well-established fact that rampant overcrowding and the highest class sizes in the state are key elements to successful education. This will give the mayor even more opportunities to place his innovative program into effect.

Now there are a few pesky troublemakers in the State Assembly who fail to see the virtues of more overcrowding and fewer decent facilities. Clearly, they don't understand the concept of "Children First." In keeping with this concept, Mayor Bloomberg cut school budgets instead of tax rebate checks to NYC homeowners. Rather than deprive homeowners of that all-important 400 bucks, here's what Mayor Mike's study proposes if he's forced to pay for education:

The analysis insists sparing the Education Department any cuts, while other agencies shouldered the burden, would force the elimination of 609 sanitation workers and reduce the frequency of trash collections.

That comes on top of the elimination of nearly 4,000 of New York's Finest and more the 500 of its Bravest.

It's a testament to the mayor's foresight that he gave away a billion dollars in tax rebates before getting to this point. After all, if he'd wanted to do this now, people would ask why he's cutting much-needed funds to city agencies Fortunately, the proposed cuts in police and sanitation will have no effect on truly vital projects. Still, some naysayers have the audacity to criticize the mayor, even after he conclusively proved he was willing to cut the funds of "Children First:"

Assemblyman Michael Gianaris (D-Queens) defended the push to spare schools from Bloomberg's ax.

"The state Legislature has gone to the wall to increase education aid for the city. If the city is just going to take the state aid and decrease its own aid, that's not what was intended."

That's an interesting comment. As I recall, Saint Rudy regularly used to use increases in state aid to decrease city aid by an equivalent amount. And I could have sworn that Mayor Mike renounced that practice as a condition of mayoral control. But the issue here, of course, is one of "Children First." Did the mayor place children first? He most certainly did.

What more, really, does anyone need to know?

Thanks to Schoolgal

The Tenure Question

I recently wrote about a colleague who told me a change in venue brought his Regents passing rate from about 30% to a much more respectable 90%. He claims he did not at all change his teaching methods, but his new audience was simply much more receptive. Was he a bad teacher at the previous locale? You could perhaps conclude that, but his 32% passing rate was the highest in his old school.

Do his new passing rates make him a great teacher? Not according to him. He claims to be the same teacher he was then, albeit a little older.

Now NYC Schools Chancellor Joel Klein is fighting tooth and nail for the right to be able to grant or deny tenure on the basis of test scores. How do you do that fairly when a simple relocation produces such a radical change in results?

Shall we trust in the good graces of this chancellor? Isn't he the same guy who unilaterally violated the contract via blanket denial of sabbaticals (till the UFT dragged him to court and won)? Isn't he the same guy who's failed to deliver any substantive class size reduction? Isn't he the same guy who went to Albany in order to preserve his right to hire and retain thousands of teachers who'd failed basic competency tests? Is that the sort of person you want to judge teacher quality?

Isn't this the same guy who instituted three separate reorganizations and failed to make any significant improvement in scores he couldn't manipulate? And he now wishes to judge others on a standard he himself has abjectly failed?

Let's simply forget about Chancellor Klein's various double-standards for a moment and examine the situation. According to the DoE, only 1 percent of teachers are denied tenure after three years (and who knows how many get it after its extended?). Whose fault is that?

The overwhelming majority of teachers I know are competent, at the very least. But I've seen some teachers who'd never have landed a Burger King gig, due to the more rigorous interview process. Such teachers would never have been hired in Long Island schools. Whose fault is that?

Tenure can and should be enforced. If the city fails to identify those who don't deserve it, that's plainly the city's fault. If the city chooses to hire based on college credits, or the ability to meet whatever reduced standard it's negotiated with Albany, that's the city's fault too. If the city chooses to hire through bus ads, 800 numbers, intergalactic recruitment schemes, or the capacity to draw breath, that's on them as well.

There was a time when city requirements were higher than those of the state. In fact, I had to take city tests and face the Board of Examiners to get two different city licenses, and that was no walk in the park. Want to "experiment" with "reforms?" Why not try paying the highest salary in the area, rather than the lowest, and utilizing the highest standards, rather than the lowest? Maybe that would work. Who knows? After all, it's just an experiment.

I'm not UFT President Randi Weingarten's biggest fan, not by any means. But tenure issues are not her fault--they're strictly the city's own doing. Tenure laws are enforced in Long Island--I know many teachers who've failed to get it, and every one of them now works for New York City. I can't really attest to their quality, or lack thereof. The obviously bad teachers I know would never have been hired on the island (let alone Taco Bell).

Personally, I think Chancellor Klein would be lost without bad teachers, and despite all his posturing and bluster, will keep them on forever, sending random others to the rubber room as long as possible. After all, without bad teachers, who in the world would he and the mayor blame for their chronic inability to substantively improve this system?

Thanks to Schoolgal

Why Bother?

Here's an interesting article in City Limits by teacher J.B. McGeever, who hails from Jamaca High School. McGreever teaches the "transitional" class, which apparently indicates he caters exclusively to kids who've failed the English Regents exam. But only 30% of the kids are expected to pass, so why would any teacher want that job?

It's particularly unattractive because this year, NYC is secretly monitoring passing scores of certain teachers. Who knows who they may be? Is it fair to measure McGeever against a teacher in Stuyvesant? Could a kid in Stuyvesant possibly fail this test? And if 100% of the Stuyvesant kids pass, does that alone mean they have great teachers?

A teacher is certainly part of the equation. A good one can clarify the requirements, and explain simply how to pass. In fact, this semester I got several classes of ESL kids, all of whom failed the Regents in January. Some have been in the US for a matter of months. Some have been here longer, but against the odds, have managed not to acquire English as most have by now. I think I'll beat 30%, but I wouldn't bet the farm on 60.

The notion that newcomers should take a test designed for people who've been here their entire lives is preposterous. So I tell my kids that anyone who scores 65 or over will get a hundred as a final grade from me. That motivates a few of them, as they sit scribbling furiously in the forced labor camp that is my writing class. But I know it will take more than 11 weeks for some to acquire sufficient English to write coherently.

It's really unfortunate that these kids are deprived of language instruction (which I could certainly provide) so that they can prepare for this test. But as long as Albany deems it wise to require it for graduation, I'll do the best I can for these kids. And if they're monitoring me, I say this--you guys go to Korea, and I'll give you one year to pass the test in Korean.

If you can pull it off, I'll eat my laptop. And it's a pretty heavy one too.

But honestly, why should crazy teachers like McGeever (and me) volunteer to take on these uphill battles when the powers that be choose to surreptitiously spy on us, and quite possibly hold scores against us in the future? Why shouldn't we just battle the APs for the honors classes, grab some great statistics, and forget about the kids who need our help the very most?

Maybe we're just not smart enough.

Cut School Budgets, Give Raises to Out-of-Towners

While Mayor Bloomberg cuts the budgets for the 1.1 million public school children in his fiefdom, he's giving a raise to Cambridge Education, which evaluates city schools on a yearly basis.

They're certainly better-qualified than anyone in this country could possibly be, so it's worth importing them. And naturally, they're getting a 9% raise this year, as Mayor Bloomberg plans to cut funds for kids by 5%. After all, in these tough economic times, Mayor Bloomberg's business partners are in dire need of a 9% raise. After all, teachers are enjoying their 2% raise, and they'll only have to pay 1.85% to buy into 55/27. They've netted a cool .15% raise, so really, the British are only getting about 60 times what the teachers got.

That's fair, isn't it?

And what's a 5% cut to kids in the city, when you really think about it? I mean, after you fly those folks in, put them up in Manhattan, take them out for gala luncheons, and pay for their carfare, someone has to pay. I mean, really, it would be unseemly for Mayor Bloomberg to walk to the subway, rather than being chauffeured in an SUV. I mean, really, doesn't everyone have their chauffeur take them to the subway?

But still, some Gloomy Guses insist on looking at the negative side:

"How do you cut money from the schools, from the children, and give a raise to these consultants that many principals feel are not useful?" said the principal of a Queens middle school that got a middle rating of "proficient" on its Cambridge quality review last year.

It's called "values," Mr. Principal. And there's very little question that "reformer" Mike Bloomberg thinks these folks from England are more valuable than the kids who attend your school.

For goodness sakes, get with the program!

Thanks to Schoolgal