Tuesday, March 21, 2023

It's a Witch Hunt, Says Mulgrew

Here I am, your favorite President. Can you believe the people coming after me? Can you imagine what would be happening if I were not your President? It would be a catastrophe, very, very, very, not good. But while I'm here, that will not happen. A lot of people are telling me about this.

Now I'm used to those low energy, boring, crooked, pathetic bloggers coming after me. It's just another witch hunt. Of course I don't expect them to give me credit for all the amazing, beautiful things I've done. And they can keep coming after me. I don't care. They are just really, really, really nasty and unfair.  Frankly, their criticisms are disgusting. It's complete and total garbage, as a matter of fact. 

A lot of people are saying they're out there, basically spreading their garbage all over the internets. But it's so unfair. They don't consider all the beautiful, tremendous things that everyone knows I've done, believe me. 

Now I don't have to do this. I could just stay home and enjoy. I'm very, very, very wealthy, you know. But I want to be out there and help, no matter what the pathetic, no-energy losers are saying on their little blogs that I don't ever, ever EVER read.

Do you know how many people came to see me speak at the last Delegate Assembly? It was massive, unbelievable. It was standing room only. To hear those low-energy, weak losers, you'd think I was out in a field somewhere, serenading the hoot owls. Real Americans, real UFT members, don't go for that kind of woke nonsense. You know, in China, they have a President for Life. They know what they're doing over there. Maybe we could do that here! It would be first class, believe me.

Now I laid out a beautiful, wonderful health plan, believe me. It was tremendous, unbelievable. But those pathetic losers came out and said, nooooo, we can't do that. But a lot of people are saying that they want this fantastic plan, and I'm just not, not gonna let them down. You don't hear about them in the fake news blogs. Just the other day, a big man, a real working man, came up to me the other day, and said, "Sir, your Medicare plan is the best thing I've ever seen. It's now, it's wow." And that big man had tears in his eyes as he told me this. 

Now don't be discouraged. Together, we are going to make this UFT great again. If you read the fake news blogs, you'll see those little losers whining. They'll say, "Oh, we need the New York Health Act. This way everyone will be covered. No one of any age will have copays. This way everyone over 65 will get real Medicare, and they'll be able to see doctors all over the country. This way everyone will get long term care, and no one will have to divest all their assets to pay for long term care."

You know what that is? That's socialism. And we don't need socialism in the United Federation of teachers. I have a very, very big, very tremendous, very, very beautiful plan here. And the people who talk about the New York Health Act? They are really, really not smart people. Now we have smart people right here in the union. Some people would say they're very, very smart. Now this new plan for retirees will be amazing. It will be amazing. And the new plan for you in service. It will be really, really, really outstanding, believe me. 

But we can't worry about all those other people who are not in the union. We need to put UFT first. There has never been a union like ours. Never in history, and perhaps there will never be one again. But the fake news bloggers want us to be a union in decline, a failing union. We will never allow that.

That's why I've moved to put a stop to their woke nonsense. Now I don't know, but people are telling me some of their are using our great symbol, the UFT logo, on their socialist websites. The UFT is not about socialism. We stand for freedom and liberty. And that's why we are going to sue those pathetic little, little losers. But we will protect and preserve our precious logo. They will pay, believe me. 

Now we love the leftists. The leftist losers. The low-energy, leftist, losers. We love them. But they need our help. We need grownups in the room to guide them, and that's why we will sue them. We will sue them, and we will take all their money, and it's all for their own good. One day, they will come up to me and say, "Sir, I'm glad you sued me. And I'm very, very, very glad you won. Because what I did with the logo was very, very not good."

But they need to love our union. And they need to love it like you love your mommy. None of this criticism when we do beautiful, tremendous, unbelievable things. That's detrimental to the union, and we will not stand for that. Our new union will be huge. It will be unbelievably vast and massive. And no one will dare question us, because that's what our tremendous freedom and liberty is all about, believe me. 

That's why I'm building a beautiful wall around 52 Broadway. No more will anyone just be able to cross over our sacred revolving door. We will guard our frankly, first class building. The wall will be massive, but it will also be elegant. The socialists, frankly, are aspiring to be terrorists. We don't tolerate terrorism. We stand for freedom, and liberty and beauty. 

And let's face it, they are low-energy people. We don't need low energy. We need, frankly, lots and lots of energy. And frankly, no one knows how much energy we need better than I do. Energy? I know energy, and no one knows energy like I know energy...

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