Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Another Message from the Chancellor

Dear Colleagues,

I am excited to announce additional members of the DOE senior leadership team who will advance the critical work of educating and supporting our students. Please join me in welcoming many of my cronies, creditors, relatives, ex and current paramours, all of whom will be richly compensated, and accountable to no one, as am I. (Just kidding, Eric!)

I am confident that under their leadership, we will continue to give the impression we are actually doing something about this pandemic, leading to bright starts and bold futures for all our students. (Of course, we will continue to offer smoke and mirrors, and blame you, the UFT, for failing to cooperate.)

With decades of experience in education, these leaders will enact our robust priorities and vision for New York City schools, whatever the hell they may turn out to be. We hope to have them up and preaching about how important it is to allow students to stay home and yet somehow appear to be attending school, or even learning.

We hope this will mollify the parents and teachers who continually carp about learning and working under plague-laden conditions, with woefully insufficient COVID testing, ventilation, and what have you. Each Deputy Chancellor will be reaching out to set up time to meet with teams directly (over Zoom of course, as these are perilous times).

As I have said previously, our system and its leadership should reflect the diversity of our great city and its public school students. We sincerely hope you will reflect on our diversity (as opposed to our effectiveness or utter lack thereof).

In addition to these key appointments, we have updated the DOE Organizational Chart to provide clarity on how we are organizing our system to serve students, families, and staff. We hope that, as you see fewer people doing little or nothing, as we hide the majority in offices and cubicles, and under big tables at Tweed, you will conclude that we are lean and mean, as opposed to a bunch of people sitting around Tweed drinking coffee and eating donuts. As the year progresses, we will continue to adjust and revise our approach to best appear to be actually doing something.

Soaring high,


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