Saturday, August 15, 2020

Invitation from the Chancellor

As we get ready for the beginning of the 2020 school year, we will be hosting a voluntary Department of Education Employee Town Hall on Wednesday August 19th at 3:30pm to discuss plans for the fall. Because we care deeply about over one hundred thousand employees, we're giving you one full hour to ask questions. Doubtless you know how many gala luncheons we will have to cut short or postpone because of that.

 We're only doing this because Andrew Cuomo, that relentless conniving bastard, has insisted on it. Nonetheless, we'd like you all to believe that we're doing it because we care about you.

The Town Hall will give you an opportunity to ask questions in advance and hear directly from me and the DOE Leadership team about our plans for the fall. One of the great things is you only have an hour, but I can spend as much time as I like answering, so I won't get too bogged down in any embarrassing details you choose to share.

Just in case that isn't enough, we're asking that questions be submitted in advance so that we can screen them. I don't want to hear any embarrassing questions about how we're gonna have two teachers for every class--one live and one remote. No one knows the answer to that question so I ask that you, along with those of us at Tweed, hope for the best and pretend it isn't a problem.

The entire DOE team – including school-based staff, as well as field and central staff – has been working hard all summer to ensure a safe, strong return in September, and I am excited to share out about it. I can't wait to tell you how the buildings you haven't seen cleaned for decades by the custodial staff we've let go and failed to replace will suddenly look like the frigging New York Hilton.


What: NYC DOE Employee Town Hall


When: Wednesday August 19th, 3:30pm – 4:30pm


Where: To join the town hall, please follow this link


Q&A: Given the number of participants, we are asking that you submit any questions that you may have in advance. We will be selecting the most frequently asked questions and ensuring that we cover the key themes during the Q &A. If you have a question that you would like to submit, please do so here.

 And remember, no questions about the magical co-teachers that don't exist, and please don't ask about the massive layoffs being threatened by my boss, the mayor. There is absolutely nothing to worry about. No matter who gets fired, my job is secure, and I'm not going anywhere until de Blasio is shown the door via term limits. Also, if I'm lucky, maybe I can blame this entire debacle on the mayor and stay on even after he goes!

Thank you for all you are doing, and I look forward to seeing you Wednesday! What better way to spend a day off than by listening to me pretend everything is just fine?

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