Saturday, March 18, 2017

The Art of the Spiel

BREAKING--President Trump today offered to restore the cuts to Meals on Wheels if Nordstrom's would restore the Ivanka Trump line of fine Chinese-made clothing. He said it may not have been selling well, but blamed President Obama.

Nordstrom's CEO, Roger P. Duvernoy, replied, "Is he off his meds or something? No one wanted to buy that crap, so we took it off the shelves."

Sean Spicer, in his press briefing, said it was not President Trump, but rather Duvernoy who'd be ultimately responsible for the cuts. "Look, we tried to work it out. We made a very reasonable offer. But hey, if Nordstrom's doesn't wish to support the First Family, they're clearly un-American and don't care about our elderly. This was a good faith offer."

President Trump was on vacation and unavailable for comment.
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