Wednesday, March 30, 2016

What, Me Worry?

Hey folks. It's me, your old pal Mikey Mulgrew. Hey, watch it there or I'll punch you in the face and push it in the dirt. Nah! Just joshing! I never really liked that Common Core stuff anyway. Now that the state is gonna change the name and offer the same old stuff I'm sure it's gonna be better. Remember now that this is because of our opposition to Common Core, even though we never said we opposed it at the time. But we have people who are very smart, so we've planned this all along.

And let me tell you something about the opt-out crowd. Sure, they made it inconvenient for the state after 20% of NY kids opted out. And sure, there might be more here. But we've done a lot of secret work behind the scenes. You know, a lot of cloak and dagger type stuff we can't tell you about. In fact, we do all sorts of things we never tell you about. Take my advice. They are terrific. They are beautiful. They are the best. Sorry I can't fill you in on any of the details, but I assure you I have a crack team at HQ doing great work I can never tell any of you about until it's time for me to take credit. Yeah, that's the ticket.

And hey, we won Friedrichs! All of our top secret strategizing and mobilizing sure paid off. The Court voted 4-4, which sounds like a tie but really isn't. And hey, I gotta tell you, I'm really kind of breathing a sigh of relief. I mean, it ain't cheap paying for 52 Broadway, not to mention the 800 Unity loyalty oath signers I have to drag all over the world with me. I mean, it's like eleven bucks for just a beer at the NY Hilton. And don't get me started on the steakhouses in Albany. Of course COPE paid for that, so I can assure you all you got stuck for was the eleven dollar beers. And, of course, all the food and transportation of the 800 people who vote any damn way I say with no regard whatsoever for what you want and/ or need. But it's all part of my secret plan to accomplish things I can't tell you about. Unless of course they happen in which case I'll be happy to take credit for them. Unless they're bad in which case I had no part whatsoever.

So anyhoo, whew! Where would we be without all that dues money? 52 has been pretty good to us. I mean, who would pay for that Hillary Clinton campaign office if not you guys? And for gosh sakes, who do you think pays for the bananas we serve the folks at the DA, while we save sandwiches and stuff for the Unity and NYSUT folks upstairs?

Anyhoo, it's not like I'm gonna have to live on a teacher salary anytime soon. But that's not the big takeaway here. The fact is, under Michael Mulgrew and the Unity Caucus leadership, NYC is not a right to work city. Now I ask you, can those dirtbags over at MORE make that claim? Of course they can't. They're probably sitting around right now drinking cheap wine and plotting some way to get rid of teachers being evaluated by test scores, after all my hard work making sure that would be part of NY State law. Anyway, you won't catch me or my crew drinking cheap wine anytime soon.

So remember, Unity will protect the system that means you won't be judged 100% by principals. You will be judged by 40% test scores, and while they are completely unreliable, a crap shoot if you will, at least they aren't principals. Are they more or less unreliable than principals? Hey I don't know but we have very smart people in the UFT who will figure it out.

And don't pay any attention to those Gloomy Guses on the blogs, the ones I never read, who say you're now guilty until proven innocent over at 3020a. I mean, sure, you are, but since fewer of you are going there, what's the deal? I mean, sure, more of you will end up getting fired, but hey, them's the breaks. And anyway, if you're smart enough to join Unity, maybe we can get you a gig sitting around in some office somewhere doing whatever those people in the offices do.

So remember, a thousand points of light, no severe disasters for over three years, retro isn't a God-given right, and vote for us for another three years of what you've had for the last two.

blog comments powered by Disqus