Monday, March 14, 2016

The Boy Wonder

Oh no. Here comes that damn Chapter Leader again. What the hell is it he’s looking for this time? Jesus, when is that guy gonna retire?  Look how old he is. Why oh why do you have to be AP before you become principal? I could do the principal's job better than him in my sleep.

And there he goes again, this stupid Chapter Leader blathering about that damn Mrs. Feinstein. She’s not feeling well, she just got back from the stroke she suffered in the classroom, blah, blah, blah. Nothing but excuses. I knew it. Like it was me who gave her the stroke.

This is what happens when you work with old people. This one has heart palpitations, that one has high blood pressure, someone else collapsed in the hall. Like it's my fault all these losers can't take the heat. Unbelievable. I'll weed 'em out if this principal won't.

I sat in my office with Feinstein for 45 minutes telling her what she did wrong and she said nothing. Nothing! Not even a thank you for my advice. Just sat there writing notes. I told her about how she never does formative assessment, and how any competent teacher does formative assessment at least every eight minutes. I told her about the green cards and the red cards and how the kids should hold them up after every question, and not even a thank you. Old people don't appreciate a thing.

Then she goes crying to the Chapter Leader, this slippery lying bastard standing here wasting my time when I could be eating a sandwich or something. I wonder what they have in the cafeteria. I could do with a PB and J, but I wish they'd stop putting it on that whole wheat bread. Bloomberg was a great mayor except for that whole wheat crap. If I get to be mayor I'll put that white bread right back there, first thing.

Let me tell you, next year that broad is going from the trailer, to the third floor, back to the trailer, and back to the third floor on the other side of the building. She's gonna have to be Speedy Gonzalez just to get to class on time and if she's one nanosecond late I'll put a letter in her file. People are gonna know what happens to teachers who mess with me.

When I’m principal I won’t put up with this nonsense. If you can’t do the job, you’re out. There really should be a mandatory retirement age, like 50 or something. And when I’m superintendent I’ll show those principals what you do with whiners. You don’t hear me whining, even though I’m stuck in this crap job for at least two more years. Two years! Unbelievable. Me! If I were running this school right now we wouldn't be wasting our time with this crap. I'd let these losers know I'm not to be trifled with.

And now Chapter Leader is all, oh, why did you observe her on the half day when there were only eight kids in the class? How were they supposed to work on the project when all their partners decided to take the day off? Like it’s my fault she failed to motivate the kids to come that day. And it’s, oh, half the kids in the school didn’t show up. Like it’s my fault that all the teachers don’t care enough to make their students come to school. Where's the accountability?

When I’m principal, if teachers don’t get the kids to come on half days, heads will roll. You won’t see me mincing words. If your kids are not here on Monday, you don’t come Tuesday. And any teacher who doesn’t show up for mandatory voluntary meetings after school won’t be showing up at all.

And oh my gosh now he wants me not to count that observation, and to make it formative. Formative? What is up with this guy? Does he think I have time to do observations for nothing? After I wrote it up and everything? Like I haven’t got a life? Unbelievable. No way is there gonna be a chapter leader like this one when I have my own school. I'll pick a chapter leader who will lead the right way, by doing exactly what I say.

Oh, and this is rich. The principal said he would observe her instead of me. Sure. Like he’s gonna bother to observe this loser. And I’m supposed to just believe the Chapter Leader that he said this. Just take his word. Like I was born yesterday and I don’t know that everybody lies. Let me nod my head and pretend I’m thinking about it. Otherwise this conversation will take even longer.

Oh my gosh listen to this. Chapter Leader is asking me to imagine she were my mother and had to go through this. This takes the cake. Where does he come up with this stuff? Does he think I just got off the tomato truck from New Jersey? I can’t wait to run my own school. No way will I listen to this crap.

One day soon I’m gonna crawl out of this dump. I’m gonna be principal of my own little school and pick all the teachers. They’ll do any damn thing I ask and the Chapter Leader will do what I say, when I say, keep the bastards in line, or he’ll find himself out on his ass just like this old broad I have to keep hearing about. How much longer is he going to go on with this nonsense? Why didn’t I set my phone to ring so I could walk away and get the hell out of this conversation?

I guess I have to keep acting like I’m listening, because that’s what you do in this job. Let me give it two more minutes. God do I hate this job. I wish I could get out today. But just a few more years and I’m outta here. And the teachers I picked are gonna come with me. This principal can keep the rest of these losers.
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