Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Mr. Mulgrew and the Improved Improvement Program

Hi folks, it's me, "Punchy" Mike Mulgrew. As you know, we have a new chancellor, and because of this we have a new deal for the next two schools that are being reorganized. Now under that mean old Mike Bloomberg, a bunch of new schools would've come in and everyone would've had to reapply for their jobs eventually, if they wanted to stay. But under our new improved agreement, the school will stay the same and everyone will have to reapply for their jobs right now.

But that's not the only improvement we've worked out. Under the old agreement, the school would've had to hold up to 50% or the positions for qualified applicants. Now that was a problem because sometimes fewer than 50% of the staff would get hired. But we've solved that problem by eliminating this requirement entirely. So now whoever gets hired, gets hired, and whoever doesn't, doesn't. We just spin the wheel and see what happens. So you don't have to worry about that either.

As you know, our new contract has a clause for expedited 3020a hearings for ATR teachers. This was, of course, a great improvement over those hearings which went on forever. People got tired. How tedious it was to call witnesses in their defense when they were facing loss of their careers. So we gave them only one day, and that improved things. And now, to improve things even more, we didn't do it this time. Another great improvement was the rotation, week to week and month to month, so ATR teachers could meet so many more people and have so many more opportunities. Anyway, that was such a great improvement that we didn't use it this time, which was also a great improvement.

Here in UFT leadership, we always make changes for the better. For example, it was a great victory when we got all 22 components of Danielson, because that bastard Bloomberg only wanted 7. It was also a great victory when we reduced it to 8, which just about anyone will tell you is a whole lot better than 7. After all, think of that Beatles song, 8 days a week. Who the hell would've listened to it if it were 7 days a week? What's special about that? I defy you to find one person who wants to work 7 days a week. 8 is always better.

So let me make it clear--this new program will not make the teachers ATRs. They'll stay at new schools for a full year. Unless, of course, the principal doesn't want them there and then they won't. That's what we call mutual consent, and it's much better than those bad old days when teachers would just transfer to new schools. Where's the romance in that? Be a gypsy, I say, and travel from place to place. You don't see me just sitting in one school all year round. Sure, I visit, but I'm in and I'm out. That's the best way. That's why we changed the ATR system from a year, to a week, to a month, and then back to a year, and dammit, each and every time we changed it was an incredible improvement.

You know, back in the bad old days, teachers couldn't transfer easily. So we initiated the UFT transfer plan, and then after a few years people could, and that was a great improvement. Then we gave that up and if principals didn't want you, you could go to hell. That was mutual consent and that was a wonderful improvement. This was clear because more people transferred, and that was great. Except for the people who couldn't. But they could go to hell and that was also a great improvement.

So don't worry. There are no more school closings, and that's a fantastic improvement. Unless, of course, de Blasio decides to close schools. Rest assured that if he does, we will come to an agreement about it and that will be a fantastic improvement too.  If you don't believe me, just ask any Unity Caucus member. They've supported me each and every step of the way, and if they didn't, I'd throw their asses out and it's no more jobs or conventions for them, those ungrateful bastards.

So remember, on task, great improvement, working forward, making things better, empowering members. And oh yeah, don't you lay one stinking finger on my Common Core or I'll punch you in the face and push you in the dirt.


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