Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Eva Moskowitz Forges a Way to Student Lobbyist Cuomo's Heart

When folks who make half a million dollars a year have problems, you'd better believe Andrew Cuomo has solutions. If that bad old Bill de Blasio won't give Eva Moskowitz free rent, well, he'll just take our tax dollars and give it to her.

The Post is very happy about that. That's because Murdoch cares deeply about poor people. I mean, he doesn't want to raise their minimum wage, and he probably doesn't think they should have a minimum wage, but it's very important we have charter schools. How else will someone who's never taught a class in her life become an education expert and get paid 500K per year?

After all, folks like that had to suffer through the millionaire tax that Governor Andy, in a principled stand got rid of. Now that they have that money, he can happily take it away from suburban kids via a Gap Elimination Adjustment that gives them less money. As we all know, the less money people have, and the less support we give our children, the better off they are. Everyone was delighted when the new Common Core tests failed 70% of our children, and the only way to keep up Governor Cuomo's brilliant stats is to give them even less.

Of course, things are different when it comes to Moskowitz Charter Schools. In institutions like these, kids have the opportunity to raise their test scores until they just can't get any higher. What parent wouldn't be thrilled to have their kids get great scores? And if they don't, they can be part of the kids who disappear and get sent back to public schools, who Eva and her pals happily label failures. Look at that school down the road that took back all the kids we "counseled out." It's a dropout factory!

Of course the dropout factories take everyone. We take the kids who just arrived in this country, and a lot of them end up in my classroom. I'm very proud to teach them, and if Eva doesn't want them, I do!

We also take kids with all sorts of special needs who aren't suited to Eva's test factories. It's not much of a challenge teaching kids when they all have proactive parents. It's even less of a challenge when those who take on this task get rid of kids who screw up their stats rather than take credit for them. When another charter guy, Geoffrey Canada, saw his scores weren't going the way they wanted, he simply dumped an entire cohort. Way to take bold action, Geoff! Wonder why they didn't bring that up on your American Express commercial, or Education Nation, or on Oprah. Go figure.

Anyway, it turns out that Governor Cuomo passionately supports any cause that earns millions for his campaign fund. It's simplicity itself. You give a politician a million bucks, and he pays you back several times over with tax dollars.

Eva's hedge-funders know a good investment when they see one.
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