Monday, January 06, 2014

Gotham Charter Schools Will Become Chalkbeat Charters New York!

From now on, Gotham Charter Schools will be Charter Chalkboard New York. We have lots of exciting changes for you, our readers, and we can't wait to get started! You can read our future posts at

First, we're going to have a big fundraising party, where you can all give us money. And after that, we're running a conference with teachers to discuss teacher stuff. For those critics out there, we want you to know that two of the three teachers we've selected have never stereotyped ATR teachers in these pages. (After an extensive search, we were only able to locate one such teacher, but we feel we deserve credit anyway.)

Second, we're going to actually start reading the comments section. It's pretty tedious, actually, as it appears to mostly be a lot of crap about how teachers shouldn't get pensions, and how awful teachers are, and how they don't do any work. Still, we feel we'll be more credible if we sort out the obviously insane comments and leave only the questionable ones. Of course, there may not be any more comments once we do that, but that's fine since we won't need to read them and can get back to the important work of whatever it is we do around here.

We will continue to bring you fabulous guest posts from not only E4E members, but also people who may or may not be E4E members. We'll let them coyly deny being E4E, while sort of being E4E anyway, and we won't demand clarity from them at all. When E4E finds a hundred people to sign a petition demanding more work for less pay, we'll be the first to cover it! We vow to bring you widely diverse viewpoints, encompassing not only Moskowitz charter teachers, but also non-Moskowitz charter teachers. When we can find convoluted incomprehensible nonsense defending ridiculous testing practices, we promise you'll see it here first!

And don't worry, fans. We will continue to bring you coverage whenever Eva Moskowitz is planning a rally. We will, of course, cover the actual rallies, and then we'll do follow-ups to find out what has happened after the rally.

At Charter Chalkboard NY, we won't get mired down in special interests like teacher unions or public school parents. We'll continue to ignore their trivial rallies and press conferences. We'll stay focused on whatever the hell our corporate sponsors, like the Gates Foundation and the Walmart family, see fit. And for those Gloomy Guses who complain that we never solicit writing from real public school teachers, who are of course special interests, we pledge to you that we will continually ask real public school teachers to write for us. However, we will not read what they write, and of course we will not run it either. Those folks are loose cannons, and could say any damn thing. But no one can say we didn't ask for it!

We now have a special red phone that runs from Charter Chalkboard directly to the office of Eva Moskowitz, so we will be able to inform you immediately when Eva has any issue. And not only that, but we will aggressively cover what goes on in all other charter schools. Also we vow to let you know immediately when Doug Lemov figures a more efficient way to extract every degree of time-wasting humanity, enjoyment, or humor from the modern classroom.

This is our pledge to you, our readers. Please send as much money as you possibly can so we may continue our mission.
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