Hello New York. It's me, your old pal John King. I've just returned from an invigorating evening with the good folks at NYC. Now lots of people suggested that we were afraid to come here, but it was no problem whatsoever. After one nasty little person got up and spewed the same special interest nonsense I'd been hearing at the other forums, a fine upstanding group for excellent schools got up and spoke the truth.
What an amazing coincidence that so many of my supporters happened to spontaneously paint the same sign. Now a lot of people say that we let them in way before we said we'd let anyone else in, and that we gave them a private room, and that a Michelle Rhee-backed group bused them in. I'm not saying that isn't true, but rather that it's important we somehow drown out those special interest parents and teachers.
Common Core is a wonderful thing. We will hold all children to higher standards. Except mine of course, who go to a Montessori school, and 19 of 20 NYS Regents, who send their kids to private schools. There, they are child centered. For the rest of you, there is rigor. And remember, the bigger the rigor, the higher they flyer. It was thrilling to see a river of identical signs supporting Common Core. That's the kind of independent thought we'd like to see in your children. For example, the wonderful Eva Moskowitz took all of her students and their parents on a march. She gave them signs and t-shirts. Maybe one day we will have signs and t-shirts for all state students, and they can march and tell New York what a wonderful job Merryl Tisch and I are doing.
And as for you haters, make no mistake. We aren't stepping down. We didn't get millionaires to support our privately employed interns just to give up. They will make the rules for your children, we will pay corporations to write tests for your children, and we will continue to fail your children until we turn them into a product corporations can use. And heck, even if they fail, there are plenty of jobs at Walmart. The kind folks at Walmart have also spent millions on Common Core, and they fully expect a return for their investment.
Now that we've dredged up some support for our programs, we no longer need to make vague promises of modification, which we were never really gonna honor anyway. What's important here is that you understand our privately-paid interns have already pretty much decided that your children are going to pretty much be tested until they graduate, die, or acquire minimum-wage employment. And don't worry too much if they fail, because we fully intend to blame the teachers, close the school, and set up lucrative charters in their place.
I'd like to thank Educators 4 Excellence, Parents for Excellence, Students First NY, and all the fine grassroot groups who are standing up to special interests like parents and teachers. These are the silent majority, the salt of the earth, and be advised that if you can follow me around and continue to sign up before those special interest folks, there are even more 200K Regents intern gigs available.
Views expressed herein are solely those of the author or authors, and do not reflect views of my employers, the United Federation of Teachers, the MORE Caucus or any other union caucus.
Stories herein containing unnamed or invented characters are works of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.