Thursday, April 18, 2013

Authentic Assessments

It's remarkable that the geniuses at NYSED came up with new tests replete with product placements. They're very proud that the materials are all authentic. Perhaps this will teach our children how to more accurately process the next Diet Coke with Bacon ad, or the next coupon they find online.

It will certainly help our kids if we are able to tell them, "Buy one, get one free," is advantageous to "Pay for two, and get one." Now I was personally never taught that, and as a result, I had to learn it on the street.

We can teach kids all sort of useful information, like how to read a train schedule. Not that a whole lot of city kids do that, what with subways and all, but you never know when Mom and Dad will pack up and move to Omaha.

You'll want the kids to know how to read menus too. They'll need to differentiate between food items and prices. After all, you don't want your kid bringing a chicken into the diner and demanding $11.95 for it. That could prove embarrassing. But the whole product placement thing is another great idea. After all, it's all over the movies, TV, and the internet, so they'll have to get used to it. With the state placing products and saying they just happen to be there, kids can get used to passive advertising.

When McDonald's comes out with their new Ratty McCheeseballs, they can place an ad in the state test. Not only will it offset the expense of using ridiculous outside companies to produce tests teachers could produce as part of their regular jobs, but it will also get kids right into the consumer market we're preparing them for. No more of that Shakespeare nonsense for us. If it can't be advertised, bought and sold, who needs it? There's no Common Core if we can't make our kids eat the apple it comes from.
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