This is the fifth time I'm taking this test, and I don't understand what the hell is so important about it. I mean, I don't even care about this stuff. Who does? What will I ever need to know it for? I mean, the teacher's pretty nice and I don't want to insult her, but it's not my fault she chose a job where she needs to talk about this stuff all the time. So anyway, the topic doesn't interest me, and I'm just not gonna write about it.
Instead, I'm gonna talk about what I had for dinner last night. We had steak and rice. Now, where we come from, we eat rice all the time, so you kind of have to have it. Steak is something we don't always have. I kind of like it medium-rare, but last night, I gotta say, my mom overcooked it a little. That was fine with my family, who likes it like that. They like it cooked until it cracks, and if the texture is like a pair of Florsheims, they're good with that. But at my girlfriend's house, they grill it and don't cook it so much, so I really like that better.
We also had cauliflower. Now, to me, cauliflower is kind of like the bastard stepchild of broccoli. I mean, why do we need that stuff? You could just eat broccoli. Cauliflower smells kind of funky when you cook it, and that's a real turn-off for me. I mean, by the time it hits the plate, you're just kind of turned off. However, I was at this chicken take-out joint on Long Island, and they had this mashed cauliflower that was really not bad. I mean, if you didn't think about it, you wouldn't know it was cauliflower.
So anyway, in conclusion, from now on, I'm gonna try and eat at my girlfriend's house as much as possible. Her parents really know how to cook. And if you don't like the essay, please feel free to give me extra credit for this cool dinosaur.
Thank you for reading this, and have a nice day.
Charles P. Pierce of Esquire Gets It
7 hours ago