Maybe It's a Female Thing

That's what my supervisor said to me today. Someone called me on my cell phone, looking for my wife. She was from my daughter's school and didn't seem to want to talk to me. I was a little upset with that explanation. I said it wasn't fair. Women can say, "It's a female thing," shut you out, tell you nothing, and look knowingly at one another. Naturally you could never comprehend such a thing because you are an insensitive unintelligent galoot.

I protested, along with the one other male teacher in my department. I said we never say, "It's a male thing," to explain things. At this point one of the women in the room revealed one of the great secrets that has eluded me over my lifetime. She said if we were in a circle of women, we'd hear that all the time. I found that absurd. How could we be in a circle of women? For one thing, if we were in it, it would no longer be a circle of women. So there. But the women were ready with examples of "a male thing."

1. You repeat something dozens of times. The man then asks you what you just said.

2. A man opens a refrigerator containing nothing but milk. He then asks, "Where's the milk?"

3. You ask a man when his mother's birthday is. He looks around and says he isn't sure.

Then the women, who greatly outnumbered us, nodded to one another, claiming there were multitudinous examples they could cite if only they weren't busy doing More Important Stuff.

Here's the thing, though. When someone says, "It's a female thing," to me, it means I should shut up and not ask any more questions. It sounds very private and none of my business. Yet the male thing is some embarrassing thing that makes you feel pretty incompetent.

Am I missing something here? Is it a male thing?