We have come into possession of this top-secret recording and transcribed it for you below.
Please come to order. Thank you. Do I hear a motion to approve the minutes? So moved. Second. All in favor? Opposed? The minutes are approved. Please place them in the shredder, Mike Shulman.
I'm Mike Shulman, dammit! Mike Shulman used to be vice-president of UFT!
Thank you for sharing that, Mike. Are there any opening comments? How can we use value-added to judge UFT members? Hundreds of teachers lost their jobs in DC! Won't that happen here? The chair rules the member is out of order. (screaming in background) The member will be quiet or once again spend the meeting in the copy room listening to Mike Shulman. (audible protesting ceases immediately) Are there any other comments? Yes, we've been looking at negotiation since 2010. We've now got one week to work out this entire system. Do you really think we can get this done fairly in one week? Well, we're doing the best we can. Is there anything else before we get down to the business at hand? Well, yes. The press is making a big deal out of how we can lose 250 million in funding. That's one percent of the education budget, but Bloomberg has cut 14 percent of the budget since 2007. Shouldn't we be letting the public know about that? Well, it's always dangerous dealing with the press. That's why we're so circumspect about it. What does that mean? It means we don't bother with PR. We leave that to Tweed. Now please, can we get down to the business at hand? What is that? What are we going to call opponents of the junk science system? Idiots? Jerks? No, we need something more compelling. How about if we call them ugly? People hate it when you do that. No, we need to think of something new. I know. Let's call them Tea Partiers. I like that. It has a ring to it. All in favor? All opposed? The motion is carried. Peter Goodman can blog it. Do I hear a motion to adjourn? So moved. I second the motion. Top secret meeting is adjourned.