Wednesday, June 06, 2012

End-Year Evaluation

I've got a few more years before the geniuses who run the government institute junk-science VAM tests so I can be fired for trying to teach high-needs kids. Meanwhile, I'm fortunate enough to work in a place without Leadership Academy lunatics pushing abject nonsense as the next up-and-coming religious icon.
Every year, I pass around a suggestion box for my students. I let them say whatever they want anonymously, and then read the responses aloud. It’s pretty popular with the kids. So I'll consider this my assessment for the year. Guarantee--all responses verbatim, and only changed for grammar,  spelling, or to exclude the names of the innocent.
A good number of my students are happy:
Your class is the best because we work like a dog.
This class is very good. Mr. E. is the best teacher.
Hey, Mr. E., your class is the best because you make a lot of jokes.
Mr. E., Will you teach us forever? I love your class. Oh yeah.
This class is nice. I love this class.
This class is perfect. I love Mr. E. I love my classmates.
This class is the best. Every day we have fun.
Oh my God!!! Teacher. You make jokes every day. But I like your jokes. Happy every day! You are the best teacher.
This class is perfect. This class is interesting. This class helps me study English. I like my teacher and classmates.
Others have demands:
We need party everyday. Need more fun.
No class on Mondays.
No homework, no test, we need a lot of breaks, be a real man.
No homework, no test, no writing, no big fat zero. We need more breaks. Everybody needs computers.
Then there are mixed reviews:
I don’t like when Mr. E. screams at us but I like his class. He always gets us crazy and he always makes jokes. This class could be more interesting if we write more and if we do more exercises in class. I don’t like when he is absent because they always send us a substitute. Well, I like this class and I don’t think Mr. E. needs to change. 
I think the lesson is very good. I like it. But why don’t you study Chinese?
One. No homework for the class. Two. No vocabulary for the class. Three. No big fat zero to the students. Four. No more fun in the class. Five. More time to take breaks. Six. More free time to tell teacher. Seven. More ideas for jokes to have fun. I like your class.
We are best students but our teacher bala bula bula. I don’t know baby, baby, baby, oh, bula, baby, bula, baby….
I love your class. You are very funny. But I won’t do homework, and I won’t go to summer school.
This class is nice. Mr. E. is the best teacher. I hope we can have more jokes.
I don’t want to do homework and I don’t want tests. You can be more interesting than before and I love your class.
There is, of course, always room for improvement:
We need a machine gun and we need to make a lot of jokes. 1. Low homework. 2. Low writing. 3. More jokes. 4. Buy a lot of computers for this class. 5. Make people fight.
You should relax and smile often.
I don’t want homework. Why does the teacher give students homework everyday? I think if we play games everyday in class this class will be the best!
I hope this class will be serious. And I want to learn more knowledge. That’s all.
No summer school. No test. No homework. Every day Mr. E has a meeting.
Different activities. Talking about your students’ countries. Activities outside of class. Fridays without homework.
Some of my students are upset because I give zeroes. Actually, I draw zeroes on pieces of paper, hand them to kids, and don’t record them anywhere. My students have taken to making them into elaborate drawings, turning them into faces, turtles, eggs, pumpkins, and all sorts of things. Lately, the trend is running toward super-zeroes.
Zeroes, however, have become a two-way street. A colleague of mine walked into the trailer one Thursday and declared that Thursday was a no-zero day for students, so now the only one who gets zeroes on Thursdays is me.
No homework. We need lots of big fat zeroes for the teacher.
Seriously. Stop making big fat zeroes in the class. Thank you very much.
I don’t know. Maybe cancel zeroes, homework, tests, and big fat liars like Mr. E.
Every day is teacher’s zero day!!! Good idea!!!

My next door neighbor in the trailer, Ms. H., occasionally comes in and complains my class is too noisy. Or too quiet. Or too serious. Or not serious enough. Or something…
Why do you always say you are a serious guy? Why do you always say you are a real man? Why do you always say you aren’t scared of Ms. H.? Instead, you are a troublemaker. You are a chicken. You are scared of Ms. H. PS, though you always give me zero, I still like this class.
Mr. E’s class is nice. I love it. I can learn a lot of grammar, but only one suggestion. When you see Ms. H., don’t be afraid of her, and be a real man. I love this class. Everybody loves Ms. H.
All in all, it was a pretty good year.
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