Friday, March 23, 2012
Now I've got a new interest, which is education. It turns out the whole smoking gun mushroom cloud thing is happening in our public schools. Gee whillikers, if we don't do something about that, the terrorists could win! So Joel Klein and I have decided what we need, and need right away, are vouchers, tests, charter schools, tests, merit pay, tests, and, fer cryin' out loud, the ability to fire those darn teachers whenever we feel like it. Jumpin' Jehosophat, that's the only way to save the system. You can trust Joel because he works for Rupert Murdoch, who brings you Fox News, which is fair and balanced.
The only thing is that a bunch of nervous Nellies got in on all the fun and are saying things that somehow got appended to our important report. My advice is not to click on that link and not to read it. You know the sort of quality you can expect from Joel Klein and me, and I assure you we are bringing you more of the same. If you follow our advice, by gum, you'll do to education precisely what George W. Bush and I did to Iraq.
Joel and I can't wait to start working our magic on the nation's schools! And believe you me, with a partner like Arne Duncan it's just a matter of time!