in thirty minutes. If anyone asks you a question, say you're looking at things, but with all the commotion, you haven't had time to make a decision..."
"OK. I can't wait to get in. I've never been to a public school before. I was at a party last night and my friends said I was brave to take the job and come to places like this. It's just every now and them, right? Listen, can we stop in the gift shop first? I really need to get some Blistex."
"They don't have a gift shop Cathie."
"Well, do they have a Starbucks? Maybe if I could get a latte..."
"No, listen, just go around and talk to people. Try to smile. Act like you're having a good time. And if the kids talk to you, for goodness sakes, pretend they're saying something interesting. There are gonna be a lot of photographers here..."
"Did they close the Starbucks because of the budget cuts? Couldn't they manage to turn a profit?"
"Cathie, wave to those people. A lot of the kids here get free lunch. They aren't going to..."
"Well, for goodness sake, no wonder the Starbucks went out of business. We've got to put an end to this free lunch nonsense! Why would they patronize the company if they get free lunch? If we could get a Starbucks in here the place could turn a profit, for Chrissake..."
"Listen Cathie, this is the library. Someone will give you a book and you read it to the kids. Act like it interests you...."
"OK, but jeez this system is gonna be a lot of work. What about the principal? Do I really have to talk to her?"
"Well, just a little. But don't worry. No principal in New York City is gonna have one cross word to say about you."
"Tell the driver not to garage the limo. And I don't want him out of the car for one moment. Tell him to circle the block till we're ready to get out of this hellhole."
"Sure thing, Cathie. Smile and wave, then smile and wave some more. We'll be outta here in no time."
Ken Previti: #FakePresidentsDay 2017
5 hours ago