Friday, May 07, 2010

The Turnaround Model

Reality-based Educator reports teacher-bashing Newsweek mag is for sale.  I guess it's not succeeding, and since it's so keen on "reforms," it's only fair we apply them in this case.

First of all, we need to transform Newsweek into a charter magazine.  What we'll do is establish a lottery for bloggers.  Those who win the lottery will become writers for the reconstituted Newsweek, and make the same salaries of those guys who get paid to trash teachers.  Actually we should solicit private funds to supplement our pay, and add expense accounts for necessary extras for the writer on the go, like donuts and prostitutes.

This being my idea, I want 400 grand a year like Eva Moskowitz gets.  I also want a Blackberry so I can write ungrammatical missives to important folks about being on a mission from God and therefore needing more and more frequent infusions of cash.  Naturally, I will create consultant gigs for my buds.  And if we fail to sell the paper, I'll simply write a column stating that charters should not be subject to the same standards to which we "reformers" hold non-charters, just like some creative genius did in the NY Times the other day.

It's pretty much a win-win.  I've pretty much had it with this whole work thing, and given all the writing I do for free, I think this is gonna work out very well for me and all my friends.

 Naturally, I'm open for suggestions on how we run our new charter magazine.  Feel free to describe any no-show jobs, diversions of profits, expansion plans, or displacement of existing magazines in the comments section.
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