Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Stupid Is as Stupid Does

I became aware of the MTA's brilliant plan to eradicate poverty yesterday morning via the NYC Parents Blog. At the time, I found it shocking, and once I turned on the TV, I couldn't help but notice it was all over the airwaves. But after I thought about the plan, I realized what they were up to.

You see, next year, the MTA wants to stop letting schoolkids ride trains and buses for free. After all, the state and city always need money, because you never know when we're going to need another sports stadium. But then I got to the real crux of the matter--it's a phased in plan. During the first year, kids will pay 50% of the cost you and I would pay. So if you think about it, right now they can't afford to pay anything, but next year they'll be able to afford 50%. Do you see the beauty of that? The MTA, through sheer willpower, will have made these kids 50% less poor.

But it doesn't stop there, folks. The following year, the MTA will make them pay full fare, 100% of what we working folk pay. Therefore, they will be 100% better off. They will not be poor anymore. Now if only we could stop mollycoddling them with those free lunches, perhaps we could make them rich.

It just takes a little imagination to solve the big problems of the day. Perhaps I've missed my calling and should be working for Tweed.
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