Thursday, August 13, 2009

Lawmakers Demand Money for Food Kids Won't Eat

In a revelation, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand and City Council Speaker Christine Quinn realized that if only they had more money for school lunches, they could offer kids whole grain rolls instead of Doritos. Also, we can offer them grilled chicken breast instead of chicken nuggets. Finally, instead of giving them canned peas to leave untouched on their styrofoam trays, we can give them steamed broccoli.

This is significant because, while the broccoli will still get tossed away portion by portion, lunch ladies will be able to bring home entire trays full of grilled chicken breast, thus ensuring higher quality meals for their dogs. Our kids will still be eating the same crap they eat now, but the important thing is they'll be doing so by choice.

Thus does America solve yet another thorny issue.
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