Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Bloomberg Ends Social Promotion, Makes Tests So Easy Your Dog Can Pass Them

Mayor Michael Bloomberg has decided to get tough with NYC kids, who've been coddled for too long. From now on, if they don't meet the standards, they won't be promoted. That's it. No excuses. This is cutting edge tough love.

In addition, tests will be revised so that no one can possibly fail, since failing tests has been proven to damage self-esteem in children. More importantly, failing tests have been proven to upset the statistics Mayor Bloomberg sends to Arne Duncan, the ones that conclusively demonstrate that mayoral control is indispensable and must be replicated nationwide.

So, in retrospect, get tough, no excuses, and everyone passes all tests by 2014 no matter what.

In other news, Mayor Bloomberg says it's hypothetical that the PEP won't pass his get tough stance. The last time two of his appointees opposed him, he fired them before they could vote. Perhaps the mayor wishes to allow one or two of them to oppose him this time. That way, the punters who read the NY Post op-ed can believe he lets them think for themselves. Yet more canny PR from the master.
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