Friday, April 10, 2009

All Better Now

Great news, everybody - the financial crisis is over! Armageddon has been avoided!

So declares TIME Magazine in this article here.

Their evidence?

Wells Fargo claims it made money in the first quarter of 2009 and declared its takeover of Wachovia "a success."

According to the TIME piece, we can now all sleep easy because the economy will be roaring back before you know it. Any day now, BoA and Citigroup and the rest will all be rolling in profits and the American taxpayer will get back all that TARP, TALF, and Federal Reserve money handed out to the financial industry since two Bear Sterns hedge funds went belly up in the summer of 2007.

Never mind that President Merit Pay's administration refuses to release the results of the solvency "stress tests" they've applied to 19 of the nation's biggest banks even though the administration has guaranteed all banks pass by saying that any bank that seems a little "stressed out" will receive taxpayer funds to help it through its "periods of stress."

All is well now!

Never mind that the books of many of these banks are still loaded with worthless crap investors will only buy if the government guarantees to mitigate losses or that the IMF says total bank and financial institution losses will top $4 trillion bucks before it's all over.

All is well now!

Never mind that the full impact of the credit card crisis has yet to be felt by these banks or the problems in commercial real estate have yet to hit.

All is well now!

Never mind that some pretty smart analysts (i.e., ones who have made correct calls on the economy so far) think housing prices will still fall another 30% before we hit bottom in the real estate market.

All is well now!

Wow, President Merit Pay - what a fantastalicious job you have done! You are even more awesome then your political handlers and ads make you out to be! You have fixed the banking crisis and put the economy on the road to health. And all it took was some $2 trillion bucks in government welfare to banks and financial institutions in the form of TARP and TALF money and a 24 hour printing press at the Federal Reserve. So glad you and Timmeh and Larry are running things.


Batten down the hatches, everybody. When Wells Fargo comes in with a quarterly profit because it's been adding free taxpayer money to its balance sheets and TIME is using THAT as evidence for the end of the financial crisis, you can bet the s#$t is REALLY going to hit the fan.
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