Friday, December 12, 2008

Oooh! Ooooh! Call on Me, Uncle Dave!

Governor Paterson has a big problem right now. Unlike Chicago's Governor Blagojevich (who sounds more and more like a cartoon character, Daffy Duck perhaps, with every new revelation) he doesn't appear to be selling our US Senate seat to the highest bidder. So who will be the next junior Senator from the great state of New York?

Well, he could pick Caroline Kennedy. She's certainly got the name for it. And she's done something or other for Mayor Michael Bloomberg, a staunch Democrat, Republican, or Independent (depending which day you catch him). However, Mayor Bloomberg's endorsement suggests to me there must be something amiss with Ms. Kennedy. I don't know what it is, but I'm not remotely anxious to find out.

Or he could pick part-time UFT Prez Randi Weingarten. She's ready to do the job. Plus she could probably do it in her free time, when she's not being President of the UFT or AFT. Or perhaps she'd give up her part-time job as UFT Prez, which would leave us with a chance of negotiating a reasonable contract sometime in our lifetimes. Conventional wisdom, though, suggests Ms. Weingarten would find someone equally impotent to take her place, and that no change whatsoever would take place for either kids or teachers in the Big Apple.

However, the official NYC Educator US Senate endorsement goes to actress Fran Drescher, former star of unwatchable sitcom The Nanny. But NYC Educator, you ask, why would you want an actress like that representing you? Well consider the classic Drescher whining voice. She'll stand up and demand what New Yorkers want, and she'll ask again, and again, and again.

What will GOP Senators faced with the prospect of hearing Ms. Drescher yet again do? Well, they're human after all, and my guess is they'll fold immediately just to avoid further abuse of their eardrums. Forget about Alaska getting all that pork. Let's make New York City pork city, and we'll start by having the Feds fund reasonable class sizes for the city, rather than bailing out gazillionaires who've made bad bets.

Who do you think should be NY's next US Senator?
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