Saturday, November 29, 2008

The American Way

Michelle Rhee, DC Schools Chancellor, has over the last few weeks been plastered all over the NY Times, the Washington Post, Newsweek and Time (Various deep thinkers of the caliber who've fixed our economy now seek to fix education, and these news stories are, of course, a completely unrelated coincidence). Ms. Rhee's basic premise is that the only variable in education is the teachers. She knows this, of course, because she taught for two years herself.

During Ms. Rhee's two-year career, she was able to overcome every obstacle through sheer elbow grease and determination. There are, unfortunately, no records whatsoever to document Ms. Rhee's claims, but her word ought to be good enough for you, America (It certainly appears good enough for MSM reporters).

The problem with teachers, according to Ms. Rhee, is they have too many job protections and she cannot fire them whenever she pleases. This irks her, as she had no problem firing the principal of her daughter's school. Why shouldn't she be able to fire her daughter's teacher as well, that bitch, should she give too much homework?

It's well-established that working people have it rough these days in America. The only solution, in Ms. Rhee's view, is to make things worse for teachers, the last bastion of unionized employees in America. After all, Ms. Rhee's primary focus is children, and what kids need is consistency. Therefore, if there are no good jobs left, kids will know what to expect. We Americans have had it up to here with working people having job security, health benefits, and freedom of speech. Let them go to Canada or Europe if they want that socialist nonsense. This is America. We need to let teachers, like everyone else, be fired whenever Michelle Rhee feels like it.

That way, our kids will know that they too can be fired when Michelle Rhee feels like it. After all, we need them to work hard and keep their mouths shut, so that they can pay taxes and bail out failed corporations like the rest of us. When I was a kid, the guy across the street from me worked in a Taystee Bread factory, owned his own home, and supported a family of five while his wife stayed home and cared for them. Now he'd need two incomes to do that. And there's no good reason we can't dial back salaries, pensions, job security, and privileges enough to make it three, using good old American know-how.

So let's have more thoroughly uncritical coverage of Ms. Rhee and her utter lack of accomplishment. If she says she knows what she's doing, that ought to be good enough for anyone.
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