Why not do something innovative? I mean, don't you get sick and tired of helping kids fill out college applications? Writing recommendations? After a while, they all get to be a blur. But if you're enterprising, you can simply record those social security numbers, and put them in a safe place. In a few years, the kids will be in college, and soon thereafter, with any luck, they'll be gainfully employed.
That's when you use those numbers to open a credit-card account and buy all those things you've been needing. What about that pinky ring you've always wanted? How about trying one of those $4,300 hookers you've been hearing so much about? What about grabbing that collectible DVD that has season one of the Smurfs? Sure, there are 5 million Smurfs and only one Smurfette, but you won't care, what with your $4,300 hooker and all.
And when you get caught, you'll get to go someplace where you get three squares a day, free health care, and no more bills. What more could you ask?
Views expressed herein are solely those of the author or authors, and do not reflect views of my employers, the United Federation of Teachers, the MORE Caucus or any other union caucus.
Stories herein containing unnamed or invented characters are works of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.