Chancellor Klein, in yet another revolutionary improvement to our troubled school system, has banned "Pizza Day" at PS 193 in Queens. Apparently, young students were exchanging money for a dangerous product that consisted of several habit-forming substances including, but not limited to, bread, tomato sauce, and a cheese product described only as "mozzarella."
Furthermore, the proceeds of this nefarious act were being utilized by its perpetrators for highly questionable purposes:
Proceeds from the pizza parties pumped $200 a month into the PTA's budget - meaning thousands of dollars a year for teacher grants, supplies and funding for the yearbook, graduation festivities and school dances. The extra cash is crucial in the face of citywide budget cuts.
How dare this "PTA" attempt to circumvent vital and necessary school budget cuts? If Mayor Bloomberg and Chancellor Klein feel the best route toward improving schools entails leaving them crumbling and overcrowded with less money to function, that must be the way to go. Besides, he had several great reasons for this important act, and offered them one after the other:
Parents said they were first told that it was a nutrition issue, then that the fund-raiser violated a chancellor's regulation that bars for-sale food from competing against and replacing school-provided lunch.
Well, there you go. You see? Now how on earth are city school cafeterias supposed to sell their dry overcooked cardboard pizza-like product when real professionally-baked pizza is being imported for illicit consumption? We're lucky to have Mayor Bloomberg and Chancellor Klein keeping "Children First" and devoting their time to important issues, rather than wasting it on costly non-starters like class size, overcrowding, or decrepit facilities. After all, if we were to reduce class sizes and relieve overcrowding, we could lose much-needed funds for sports stadiums, not to mention space for new charter schools.
Along with "reformers" everywhere, I once again applaud their vision and courage.