Sunday, June 17, 2007

It's All Good

In yet another PR coup for Tweed, an NYPD spokesperson announced that Mayor Bloomberg's scanning program was a great success. That's because the city managed to collect 18% fewer weapons this year than last.

From July 1, 2006, to June 10 of this year, cops netted 353 weapons - including guns and knives - from city schools. They also confiscated 1,340 "dangerous instruments," including penknives, imitation guns, laser pointers and pipes.

During the same period from 2005 to 2006, police collected 383 weapons and 1,678 dangerous items.

This means, of course, that 18% fewer students were dumb enough to carry their weapons through metal detectors, and have taken the precaution of slipping them through windows, or having their friends let them in through side doors.

The students, therefore, are smarter. This is clearly the result of reorganizations one and two. Surely they will become even more resourceful after reorganization three.

Had there been 18% more weapons, it would have indicated that the mayor's aggressive techniques were working even better than expected.

Meanwhile, 14,285 cellphones and 2,558 iPods were also confiscated through April, according to the Department of Education.

The city does not appear to have commented on whether that represents fewer cell phones and iPods. However, it's well known that it'll be tougher for kids to tell their parents what's going on in city schools without those nasty cell phones. In emergencies, they won't be making those inconvenient 911 calls and imperiling the merit pay of principals and APs.

After all, having kids learn about priorities is what education is all about, isn't it?
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