Monday, July 17, 2006

Bloomberg Appoints New Chancellor

In a surprise move, Mayor Michael Bloomberg today gave school Chancellor Joel Klein his walking papers.

Mayor Bloomberg stated, "In today's ever-changing environment, we need a chancellor who will stand up for the things I believe in. While Chancellor Klein did an admirable job in many respects, we'll need someone who can get right into the thick of things. The next time, for example, parents object to my dumping a charter into their public schools, we need someone who can get right in there and show them we mean business."

Mayor Bloomberg added, "We plan an absolute ban on cell phones. They are not allowed. I could not have one when I was a kid, and no student under my administration can have one either."

Asked for comment, the new chancellor replied, "I pity the fool who doesn't do what we tell him, and do it right now." Reporters instantly scurried away, fearing for their lives.
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