Sunday, March 05, 2006

The Perfect Grade

Some schools are now avoiding class rankings. Since every trendy and nebulous idea that comes down the pike finds favor with the New York City Department of Education, I've decided to take the initiative and start making some changes of my own. I'm determined to be on the crest of this new wave.

First, I'm eliminating grades as we know them. It's true that I'll have to write something on student report cards, but I'm no longer presuming to impose any variation. After all, why should I give kids good grades simply because they worked hard and paid attention? Isn't that going to have the effect of hurting the kid who cut the entire semester? Or the one who did no homework whatsoever and failed every test?

So I propose something new. No one is perfect. Therefore 100s are out. Conversely, no one is without merit. Ergo, no more zeroes. The mystical 50% looms large, directly between the two newly unacceptable extremes, and that's what all my students are getting from now on.

I'm explaining the new grading method to my classes tomorrow. I certainly hope my students will grasp the undeniable cosmic beauty of this new system.
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